[Miss.Understood]

Ever been the other person?

If you have been the other person or was dangerously close to becoming the other person, here are my questions to you: (male OR female can answer - I like reading experiences/opinions from both sexes) cheating is a big deal imo, so did it occur to you that there's a huge possibility that you'll be cheated on by that person too? (if you two were to get together)

What made you like that person, even though he/she was a cheater? OR do you think that things like this are simply just unexplainable?

Here are some questions anyone can answer:
What would YOU do if you were in the position of potentially becoming the other person? Would you just break everything off or go along with having the affair?

What are your opinions on being the other person? Good, bad? Share.

NOTE/EDIT - I removed my friend's story on here because I felt that it was irrelevant to what I was curious about. It was used as an example (my friend didn't mind, just as long as I didn't reveal his name or anything personal). Any way, I decided for this thread to be a thread where you all can share/discuss about this topic - I never intended for this thread to be focused on his love problem, but when I posted it, I guess it came out that way. (Yes, very stupid of me. Don't need to mention this twice. hah.) So let's move on! Share stories/opinions.

[ShadowMax76]

He responded with, "why do I breathe? Why do I prefer apples over grapes? Why do I have ten toes instead of eight?"

LOl. i like this guy.

but sadly. i think it's because we're similar.
i was the other guy a few times. >_>"

most of the time i never knew the bf other than "the bf"
and obviously i was thinking to myself "i'm better for her"
but..that's just stupid. >_>' if anything, i'm the massage guy a rich woman goes to for something the perfect bf can't give. nothing more.

i know that sometimes a girl can get confused with who she loves more. but that's not the question is it? that's not what i should take advantage of if i want to steal her from her bf.

but meh. at the time it was always a little world where i never thought about the bf. it was just me and her. the idea of the bf was always "the bad guy" _ she never talked about him much.

_ then. always. each motherjohn teshing time.. lol... she told me about other guys like me. other guys than her bf that she crushes on, gets affection from, 'loves more' than her bf.
and wtf. i realized.
i'm just another guy. there's nothing special. she's got a john teshingmillion other guys pouring their hearts over her.she's just in it for the affection, ego-boost, self-esteem, romantic escape, w/e.
==' why i fell for it a few times.
no1.was a confused girl who thought love of male friends was beautiful. _ PAh.. if the bf saw her snuggling lip to lip with another guy =='
no2. .she was just a newbie. _ she was like no1 but was still unsure of what was right or wrong. she just let it happen.
no3. she was a manipulative girl. i knew that from the start. she didn't think much of lying or cheating if it's "someone you love more". throws around "i love you" and other affections a lot, expecting it in return from the guys she fishes in.

_ all the time i had to fight what i believed was right and wrong to what happiness i could give her. ==' phak that. realized i was just used. LOl..

_ what i have to say to this guy.
we all have temptations when we're in a relationship
you're just hers. she can't even imagine marrying you. she just likes your sweet words and poems or w/e. like the many other guys like you.
you're not better than the bf. otherwise she'd left him already in a respectful manner. _ it's just a little affair she's enjoying more than she should.

x_x' man i hate girls like this.. thinking love is just a fuzzy feeling. the more fuzziness you get from a guy does not mean you love him more than your bf. ==

so did it occur to you that there's a huge possibility that you'll be cheated on by that person too?

no. i always thought she was an innocent person. ==' just in an unfortunate situation

(if you two were to get together) What made you like that person, even though he/she was a cheater?

i thought she was a good person. it never began with "hi, i'm jane, i'm a cheater" _ the first ever mention of bf was much after i was starting to fall for her. then she'd supposedly fall for me. and we'd think the bf was just a problem. her mistake. her innocent mistake.

OR do you agree with what my friend said? That things like this are simply just unexplainable?

pft. >>' at the time i guess i was just "it's only an innocent affair, the bf doesn't need to know" that it just happened.she's just in an unfortunate situation. it's meant to be. w/e.
but now.. aha. it's all pessimistic and cynical. my explanation now is that girls don't know what they want. guys are the victim to that. >_>" and there's some really twisted values with those girls. lying to the bf obviously is one thing.

*aye. it's huge. guess there's some over-due rant for falling into that many traps. =='

[MNLV27]

Well, I haven't been the other person so I personally wouldn't really know but I did have a friend of mine that was the other girl.
She actually had a bf too so the guy she was seeing behind her bf's back was also the other guy. Confusing and a love square I guess.
I remember her talking to me about her situation, I was just like you, I never really gave her advise on what she should with her relationship with her bf or the other guy because in the end it was her life. I did tell her my opinion and I doubt she took it in. But they stopped seeing each other and so she's still with her bf who still doesn't know about her affair..Sad for him but true...

[chilovesjj]

He responded with, "why do I breathe? Why do I prefer apples over grapes? Why do I have ten toes instead of eight?"

Imo his reasoning is ridiculous. (It sounds like he's trying to be poetic about it but it's utter nonsense.)
I can explain it just fine for you: he is completely infatuated with this girl and doesn't want to accept the truth.
He knows full well that she'd cheat on him as well. If she even got with him and left her bf.
She has stability with her bf and probably won't leave him, and even if she does, she obviously doesn't give a crap about the guy she's with and doesn't mind cheating and lying to him (and if we're honest, no one wants an s/o that is gonna treat them like that), will change her mind quickly- she is immature and doesn't know what she wants.

Some guys think they can change the girl, that it'll be different with them. They're just dilluding themselves and I think you'd be wise to tell him that. And if he refuses to listen, well, he can go ahead and run on in and get heartbroken. Then maybe he'll actually think before he acts next time.

I liked a guy with a gf and he made it quite obvious that he would happily cheat with me. So I backed off and refused to get involved because I wanted more than that, something better. If you can stop and look beyond your feelings you can see it's heartbreak waiting to happen. I found the 'love of my life' later on, in someone who isn't a cheating scumbag. Assuming that every guy you like could be the 'love of your life' is a poor excuse to get with someone who's already taken :x Half the reason you want them is probably just that you can't have them..

[Miss.Understood]

Thanks to everyone who has expressed their opinions on this subject so far. =)

[faerie87]

sigh. she'll cheat on him one day.

i've NEARLY been the other girl at least once.
this guy was with his gf were together for 5 months.
he started talking to me, we hung out a couple times and he started really falling me. there was a lot of sparks.
after he told me he had a gf, he told me, we're just friends, tho i really like you, and he wanted to kiss me, and he didn't see a future with his current gf.
i really liked him too.
but you know what i did?
i told him
"you are not going to cheat with me, if you want to kiss me, you have to break up with your gf first"

and they did break up
but then later on i was in hong kong and he was in LA (summer) and she went back to LA and they started hanging out
basically he was very confused when she begged him back.

and in the end, i just let him go, i found another guy right away. he has too many baggages.

actually 1 year later he msged me, telling me i should break up with my bf to be with him, as i was having really big problems with my then ex. but at that time i was too caught up with my relationship, so we hung out once and i was just depressed. a year after, he was still with the girl, but things were bland between them, and he tried to pursue me again. shortly after we both ended with our respective s/o and started dating, but then i guess he was a rebound for me so it didn't really work. he broke up with her so he was pretty much over her, and he's still single now, a year later, and i'm with another bf.

i've also been cheated on, and it really hurts. i have the dignity and integrity to not be the other woman. unless it was revenge to the girl =p

but yeh, sigh, girls i think are way more prone to being the other woman in secret whereas the guy would be more possessive.
i think secret mistresses are stupid.

and find your own s/o who's free and or would break up with their s/o for you without cheating with you T_T

[wicked_]

LOL~. I'd go for it, why not? Worst case possible I end up bawling my eyes out and getting over the person. I think he subconciously knows there's a huge possibility he'll get cheated on but he's too 'in love' to care. And I guess when you're like that nothing matters

[sixth.]

i've sort of been in the other position... without knowing it
i'd dumped my bf because the relationship with him was too complicated. but i still had feelings for him.
about a month later, i bumped into him at a party and we hooked up. then we started hanging out again, acting like we were before
then my friend finds out he's already got another gf.
i felt horrible, stopped contacting him and warned the gf - i didn't mention details, but i just told her to keep an eye on him.

[i_4got]

I've been the "other person", and I actually kinda liked the girl too. But I ended up rejecting her cuz I felt she wasn't being a respectable girlfriend. We haven't been on very good terms since then.

[MISS-xaxa]

I've seen firsthand the effects of a third person destroying a happy relationship so I would avoid those kind of situations at all costs. I believe that you still have to respect that relationship (regardless of how damaged it is) and the people in it.

If it was me, and my boyfriend were to 'almost' cheat on me, I'd feel like crap. I wouldn't have the heart to put another girl through it. In the end, I think it's about respecting myself, and respecting the OTHER person in the relationship. The boyfriend is an ass anyways. If he is so fickle with his feelings now, then what are the chances of him staying loyal?

[JJM]

If he's willing to be the other guy, it's his business. Stupid, but still his business.

[screamxlove]

I was the other girl, once.


It was odd.


Didn't like it one bit.

[tnn2000]

gone.....20 characters

[BEBE_AN]

sorry i didn't read everything, but i just wanna say the girl who he currently likes is very very selfish. she does not consider for either of the guys' feelings. she wants both of them and can't let go of her boyfriend. I just think in this situation, your guy friend and the girl should AT LEAST save her bf some dignity and break up with him before they decide to advance their relationship. c'mon, now.

[phoenix rise]

i just have one queston: is this girl hot?

[plegend2007]

Never have been and never will.....

I would never have one and never will.....

Just IMO.