[snsd4ever]

im just like you
i wish had friends to hang out with after school..
i only talk or hang with friends AT SCHOOL...

not to sound mean, but that does not really surprise me
the way you act and treat others on here is very demeaning,

[onewhite lie]

Eh, nothing much to say besides move on. There's no point in dwelling, it'll only hold you back if nothing else.

[Flicksityy]

You're a loser right now for pitying yourself and complaining about life, life isn't fair, it's how you make it fair.

Instead of depressingly posting here, thinking that somewhat by doing so you'll get some friends, why don't you just get out there and actually try to make some?

As in physical wise? Instead of hoping that others will approach you? Don't hope, try.

No one is putting a knife to your neck, only you are.

[[HyuNi]]

There's a reason that your windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror in a car.
Looking back is important, but if you focus on what's behind you, instead of what lies ahead, you're bound to crash.
Look forward, but glance at the past. Learn from your experience and move along.

Nothing in the past is going to drag yourself back to what you experienced in high school. If you didn't like the situation in HS, you should realize that the only thing holding yourself back... is you.

Plus, I don't understand how doing something 'crazy' to get people to notice you will change what people thought about you from the past. I used to be a quiet/timid person that went unoticed and I think that was a great experience because I've changed a lot since then, but haven't forgotten about my humble roots that keep me grounded. More recently, I've gotten in touch with acquaintences or my new friends are friends with past acquaintences and my new friends commented how they said what a nice person I was/am. Quite funny. My friends were offended when they said, "Yeah I know of him, he was really nice! How do YOU know him?! He's too nice to be your friend!"

Don't let yourself believe that ANY attention is good attention. Ideally, you want good attention from the RIGHT people.

[ikay]

well, i was like that in high school, too..
i kept on telling my mom to put me into home-school just cause i didn't have that much friends in high school and most of my batch had their own cliques and had fun times..
i had a few friends, most of them were just "classroom" friends, too..
but i did have those that have stuck with me, even if they were a few..

make new friends in college
i told to myself before i graduated from high school that i will make new friends in college, and i did.. ^^
i have a really amazing group of friends now in college.. and i love them to death >w<
you just have to talk to people =)

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

Dwelling on the past isn't going to do anything.
You have the gift of a clean slate in college. If you aren't going to use it to its full advantage, you'll stay a loner for another 4 years of your life.

"Stand up and walk. Move forward. You have two good legs, don't you?" -Full Metal Alchemist
(Thought it was suitable for your situation.)

[Angxizzle]

don't waste so much time feeling bad about high school it's over you can't change it, your in college now you can start over.

[CriticalHit]

High school sucks. You're in University now. Take your chance now to go and start
some friendships before you regret it in a few years. It sounds like you're reluctant
to start a friendship. Well take some risks and leave your comfort bubble and go out
and DO STUFF! Don't make stupid decisions though. Make the right friends. And etc.
etc. etc.

Whatever you do, just don't sit back and wonder if you should make friends, because
soon University will be over and you'll still be sitting alone, wishing you made friends
while you had the time to.

Hurrah! Good luck!

[adiavoy]

Hm, this thread is making ME feel better. I'm in the last year of Middle school and I'm pretty much a loner from now forward. I'm known as the quiet one. I have friends, but not the friends I'm comfortable and click with, and I won't be going the end of the year dance or our class trip because I feel I don't really have that close friend to spend those memories with. Kind of depressed right now, but I'm really excited for High School (wait, should I be?) so I can meet all sorts of people and try to spend better memories there, and have a new clean slate.

[MMKIWI]

ah, i'm guessing the people around you (in college) are saying, "remember when we did ______________ in HS?"

it's hard at first when you join a new group of friends who seem to know each other from long ago (i'm in a similar situation)
but when time goes by, you too will share memories with them ^^ and you will be part of those "remember when __________"s

and PSH ur not the only loser (: ive seen quiet, shy people in HS become a TOTALLY different person in college.. (overwhelmed)
and they wont give their two cents about their "nonsocial" HS life.

dont let ur previous year get to you, enjoy life now! and dont make the same mistake.

[Heart<3]

I can relate to you. I had the worst high school experience. I was a quiet person, shy and because of this, I scared most of the people away and some people were even afraid to talk to me. I had the 'popular kids' bully me because of this. Basically the worst memories I have is from high school and it hurts. It really does. Like someone else mentioned, the popular kids at my school were freakin' crackheads and to this day I still wonder if they've gotten what they deserve.

I'm in University now and I can see that I've changed a lot. I've made new friends because I pushed myself out there. I didn't want to dwell on the past. I've occupied myself with new hobbies, joined clubs, and people that once never spoke to me during high school are beginning to talk to me now O___O

I know it's hard at first but once you take a step forward you'll feel a sense of relief.

[jojo16]

When you walk into that University, don't reflect on what happened to you in the past. You're starting new; there's no need to live under a rock, thinking about what was bad in high school etcc...Just pretend nothing happened. If you don't say anything about your past, no one will know.

[souljunkie]

Get out there and just start meeting people.
There's no point sitting at home mopping around.
If you hate your current state, go make a change.

[xxdis0riental]

OP, I'm truly sorry you feel this way. I was and still somewhat exactly in your situation, except I'm about to attend college. I didn't really have a lot of friends in high school. I did, but I would move from group to group because I never really fit in with either of them and felt like a complete loser...you know, socially inept and unwanted. It might have been an exaggeration of feeling, but it is pretty upsetting. But a lot of what you said I can definitely relate to. I never, even in middle school, hung out with friends outside of school because of flaking, distance and simply not caring enough kind of issues. When I see other people with a lot of friends that have so much to do, it can really give you an inferiority complex.

But really, this is your chance to get over your past and start all over. From what I've heard, college people are way more likely to be friendlier and mature than in middle school. Well, it depends where you're attending and fate, but generally it's better. The thing is, you're not really obligated to make friends as much as high school. It's different. So you really have to go out of your way to find friends. My friend joined some clubs (she's generally shy) and made SO many friends when she first attended college. You should do the same.

Don't feel like you have to have friends to feel happy or satisfied with your life. You have less drama and people to worry about. I promise, fate will find you a couple of people (that you won't even realize until later on) who you'll be able to appreciate and you'll forget about your past. Screw high school, because honestly, that was your time to learn--and not just academically.

Don't tell yourself that you can't start over. Who's stopping you from doing that? No one, and I mean absolutely NO ONE has the right to tell you what you can or can't do in your life--not even yourself. I think that's what probably keeps you back: the big thought of finding friends and all, but you don't really think about the work put into it. You can't magically find friends because no one is going to be perfect and you'll have to dwindle down all the people you meet until you realize they are worth being your friend. Just do what I do, which is take everything with small steps. Each day that passes, just do something, ANYTHING, to advance you to your goal no matter how small and menial it is.

Say for example, sitting next to someone in class and asking them for a pencil or any kind of question. That's your start. Then work up to creating a conversation, then join a club. In fact, join a club that involves your greatest interest(s) and do it.

I realized that life is too short and it isn't worth fretting over something that happened and will never change. What happened in high school was meant to happen--it's great that you feel this way because you realize what you've been missing, and this is your opportunity to compensate. You could be gone and six feet under the ground tomorrow, and still dwelling on what happened before. Take that and use it as a motivation to make a new start.

Build your confidence, OP. I think that's one of roots of your problem. I hope you really listen what a lot of us has to say and consider our opinions. Nothing will change until you do something about it.

P.S. - Feel free to PM me if you need someone to vent/relate/talk to. I know what you're going through. Keep your chin up and repeat in your head that life is really too short.

[pink_berry]

Honestly, this may sound harsh, but the majority of the people who goto school is to LEARN, not to make friends or make themselves stand out. And there are no such thing as popular kids, just people who are more louder and wilder. And because people like you who are less energetic notice them which is why it makes you feel like they are popular. Only you and some other people would be concerned about their popularity status at school. For all I know, the "popular kids" that went to my school became crackheads when they came out now. The people who studied hard are rich and famous now. Really, in the real world when you get out of college, being on the front cover of a famous magazine, being on national television, starring in several movies, discovering something new and become well-known for it is the true meaning about being popular. Trust me, if you focus on your studies now and get good grades, you'll be a lot more respected and well known i when you're in the working field.

I tell myself this everyday!!!!
Whenever I see more social and 'popular' people I think to myself..."I am here to learn not be pretty and popular."
It always works.
So I know how the OP feels BUT I'm not the type of person who would care.
I prefer being by myself, however, it is notice to talk to have someone to talk to when you need it.
I'm hoping next year I can be more socially active have at least ONE close friend who I can confide in...
I don't want to go through high school regretting anything.

[~Tropical.Mists]

Honestly, this may sound harsh, but the majority of the people who goto school is to LEARN, not to make friends or make themselves stand out. And there are no such thing as popular kids, just people who are more louder and wilder. And because people like you who are less energetic notice them which is why it makes you feel like they are popular. Only you and some other people would be concerned about their popularity status at school. For all I know, the "popular kids" that went to my school became crackheads when they came out now. The people who studied hard are rich and famous now. Really, in the real world when you get out of college, being on the front cover of a famous magazine, being on national television, starring in several movies, discovering something new and become well-known for it is the true meaning about being popular. Trust me, if you focus on your studies now and get good grades, you'll be a lot more respected and well known i when you're in the working field.

I'd have to disagree with you too.

Honestly, I'm not the smartest girl in the world.... but I'd like to think that I have pretty good skills that connecting with people and socializing =)
Personally, I don't think that life is all about studying to do well in the future and getting the BEST JOB because I worked SO DAMN hard in school. I'm in business so A LOT of what you learn isn't actually IN books and in classrooms. A LOT of the skills you develop is through connections and talking to others and relationships you have with coworkers and managers.
I agree that you SHOULD focus in school and you should do well... but a HUGE chunk of being in that top, respected position is being a people-person too. Having the skills to be noticed and energetic so people GIVE you opportunities to advance.

I go to university now to learn, but I'm also here to plan for my future and being in business, I NEED to make those connections and gain a foot in the door. I don't consider myself a "popular" person, but I do make every effort to be out-there and make friends and get to know people. And yes I am loud... but I'm not a crackhead now o_O I'm not rich and famous either but I'm quite satisfied with where I am =)

Back in high school, I remember how rather infelicitous my elementary school years were, so I made THAT much more effort to make friends....
Even now, I've been friends with my "high school" friends for 6 years and my best friend and I have been together for 10 years ^^
I don't think there's anything you can do about things in the past since they're already over.... if you didn't make memories, make some now! All I can say is that you still have a chance to make those memories that you missed out on. So what? You can't do prom again.... but you have chances to go trips with friends, go to parties etc.
It also depends on the person..... ^^ I find that I'm someone that loves to keep in touch with people and even tho I have friends who are 3+ hours away, I still make every effort to see them when I can.
Life doesn't have to be depressing and reminiscent of high school memories..... when university is done, people will be talking about THOSE memories so make some now so you can talk about it later!

--xoxo.
TM

[EMPORIO]

I don't really know if this topic belongs in here, but if it's wrong, someone please move it

So what's been happening is...
I got into a really good school, plus a few scholarships, so I'm basically going on a full ride right now. I love my school, but I feel so lonely and angry and depressed... I don't really know how to explain it.

All I think of is high school.

I mean, I was never bullied or teased or anything... but I was just basically a loser.
I had friends... but they only lasted a year, and they would move on. Or I was just "classroom" friends with them and only talked to them in class, we never hung out outside of school.

My roommate went to my high school, and she was kind of popular, I guess.
She always talks about all the fun times she had, and she always talks about "her girls" and calls them and hangs out with them. Which is NORMAL.
I have no one to call, no one to talk to, no pictures or fantastic memories.

And I just keep thinking about my prom, since it's prom season for the seniors now.... I had to go to prom with these girls that I hated, that EVERYONE in the whole school hated, because I didn't have anyone else to go with.. and out of those girls, who everyone thought were annoying as hell, I was the only without a date.

I never had a boyfriend... I never had a lot of close girl friends.
I don't have a lot of pictures from high school.


My mom always asks me why I stay home on the weekends.. and I just tell her that I like being at home with my family, when it's actually because I don't have any friends to go out with.

I mean, nothing specifically BAD happened to me, like people bullied me. Everyone was nice to me, I guess, but I was just never that close with anyone, and I never kept in touch with anyone.


Everytime I look at other people's pictures... I just feel like, this pain in my chest, cause I know that I have never had friends like that, and I don't have any memories of good teenage times. I just remember staying at home.
I feel like crying. I mean, even at college... I don't have a lot of friends. I don't know what's wrong with me.


I just can't get over high school. It's not that I was a loser. It was that I was something even worse- I was just nobody, nothing. I can't start over, even though I know other people who have experience MUCh worse have been able to move on.
What should I do? Sometimes, I am really tempted to just do something really crazy so people will remember me for that, instead of just being... forgotten, I guess?

(I'm sorry if this all sounds really dramatic and stuff, but I'm depressed, I think. I mean, I know I am.. but I don't really have anywhere to vent. )

I'm curious to know, do you think you lacked friends cause of your own social limitations or did your home life or your family limited your social life as you we're growing up and it was hard for you to make friends.

Honestly, this may sound harsh, but the majority of the people who goto school is to LEARN, not to make friends or make themselves stand out. And there are no such thing as popular kids, just people who are more louder and wilder. And because people like you who are less energetic notice them which is why it makes you feel like they are popular. Only you and some other people would be concerned about their popularity status at school. For all I know, the "popular kids" that went to my school became crackheads when they came out now. The people who studied hard are rich and famous now. Really, in the real world when you get out of college, being on the front cover of a famous magazine, being on national television, starring in several movies, discovering something new and become well-known for it is the true meaning about being popular. Trust me, if you focus on your studies now and get good grades, you'll be a lot more respected and well known i when you're in the working field.

That's a very Asian way to think, in Asia it's usually the worker bee that can get the most done with the most efficiency that gets promoted, in America though it's all about the people skills, I know people who have a hard time getting promoted cause their superiors think they lack social skills.

Social skills are just that, Social SKILLS and skills are much easier to acquire when your young and especially in a social environment like a school.

This makes me think of two quotes,

All the success in the world doesn't mean anything when you have no one in the world to share it with

and

Your school years are the most important to make friends

Now how is she gonna have someone to share her success with if she can't even maintain a steady relationship with friends, unless you think there is nothing wrong with never getting married and stuff as long as she is successful and she is missing the most crucial opportunities to make life long friends.

[linuhhparkk]

well, college is a new, clean slate right?
you obviously can't change anything in the past,
and there's not point in just sulking in depression.
so just pick up yourself and go meet new people!

[naoto]

I was kind of like that too, only a few close friends in high school and when I went to university completely alone period. I was jealous of my friends having a ton of things to do and getting calls because I wasn't like that. But I was talking to someone about this in KCF. He had a friend who was shy and eating alone at lunch and stuff, but she joined a few clubs and instantly found friends and now she is socializing alot. Is it the only way? I think so, you have to make yourself out there. Sometimes people won't walk up to you to say hi, you have to walk up to them. It is embarassing but eh. Maybe they are sitting beside you feeling the same way. You have to try yourself..

And then once you have friends they introduce you to friends and it steamrolls and then you have many. Will you be close friends with everybody you meet? Never. I meet 20 people only 1 is somebody I click with as buddy. But I have to meet 20 to find him!

[MsChen]

Haha, quit whining and go make some friends. I'm sure you can.