[qteepiggy2393]

Alright...so
me and him used to be so close
I was his first kiss and...something else tht's kinda inappropriate for underage readers maybe?
well...we broke up in a really awkward way...
After being together for 4 months I had to go back to the USA for 2 weeks. Those 4 months were so perfect. It was almost like I was living in a dream. He would do the sweetest things for me...like physically going to my house at 1 am just because I told him I missed him on the phone and I jokingly said "come here right now >=P" even though we had classes the next day. He acted in ways which made me thought, "Maybe things will turn out better this time"
We always made each other laugh and we had our inside jokes...we just complimented each other so well.
After I came back from the US, I thought he'd be all happy when he saw me since he told me he missed me a lot. Instead...he wasn't. He was just...blah. My girlfriend seemed to have missed me more than he did. I thought..maybe it's because we haven't seen each other for a while so he's a little cold right now...maybe things will get back to normal in a couple of days.
I was so wrong.
Eventually..after 10+ hours on the phone and 10+ hours fighting with each other...bawling my eyes out and sitting in silence.. we both agreed on a break. He told me to wait for him and that he still loved me...and I took that to heart.
After a while I finally went up to him and asked "Do you still want me to wait for you?" and he replied "No."
I said alright, smiled and left the room. Right after I stepped out the door I don't know why I just broke down. I guess I was hanging on that string of hope and he just cut it.
And that's how we officially ended.

it's been 3 months since we've broken up
I've gotten used to being hurt wen I see him but I manage to pull myself together so well in front of people. Around him I act like I don't give a mini cooper towards him but I still treat him as a friend. Even my girlfriends say that it's hard to believe that I still miss/love him by the way I act around him.
Well yea...I do still dream about him and find myself breaking down because of him or spacing out thinking about him. From a friend I found out that he said he was just sick of everything. That he felt that he'd given his best but somehow I made him feel that it was never enough. Basically we ended because we just didn't understand each other and we never bothered to really sit down and talk through it thoroughly. I still tear up when I think that everything could've been prevented or would've have been easier if we had just took the time to understand each other.

He said that we should still be good friends but he never talks to me. He says hi to me in the hallways but we never talk. He never eats where he used to eat and he's usually alone in the theater playing the piano. Recently he's been staying after classes alot...and since I usually do that anyways I always see him. I sometimes see him looking at me or sneaking glances and I really can't help but wonder...does he feel the same way I do? Does he still care at all? Is he hiding his feelings the same way I'm hiding mine? He's a really introverted person and he really doesn't have many friends and the only friend he ever told his feelings to moved to Korea...so noone really knows what's going on in his head. Just yesterday we were staying after for this dance showcase. He was with his friend and I was with mine. I was lying down on the couch and when I opened my eyes I saw him staring at me and i looked away and he looked away as well. I'd passed by him many times and finally he yelled "Hey", waved his hands but right when I was about to say hi back he looked away and down. I realized that whenever i talk to him his gaze softens and his voice softens too. His face is literally like until I turn away or stop talking to him. My question is...do you guys think that maybe he misses me? That maybe he hasn't thrown everything away so easily and just maybe that he still likes me?
I can't really ask alot of people about this because
1) I don't have that many close friends that know about me and him
2) The close girl friends I have are insanely flirty and actually flirt with him which actually pisses me off a little >_>

I'm sorry this was so long...it'd be really nice if I could get replies.
Just to know an opinion would really ease this dull pain that's been aching

[severstal]

Sorry about your situation, it sounds really tough.

Speaking from experience, after breaking up, you always tend to analyze every little detail about the relationship and how it contributed to the breakup. This leads to so many regrets and hurts so much. I think you will eventually work out your feelings and time does make things better. It took me maybe a year to get over one of my ex bfs, before I could have a normal conversation with him and feel comfortable.

If you really want to know what's inside of this head, stop guessing and just ask him. But ultimately you have to realize that if he still likes you, he would have told you, if he wanted to be friends, he would talk to you and act like one, and if he wanted to be with you, you would be back together right now.

Stay strong, and take this time to pursue your interest or spend quality time with your family and friends.

[and i sayd]

of course he still has feelings for you he's just shy and all make the first move and go talk to him and COMMUNICATION is the key there should be a official thread on communication seriously talk to him

[xwinnie_lovex]

i think you should try to talk to him about this
the eyecontacts and the awkward waves

im pretty sure he does still like you
esp knowing that youre his first ______
people tend not to forget their first times easily and always feelings some feelings towards the person they gave their first time to

so ya
talk to him
and hint about your feelings but dont let it all out til you know how he feels about you

[qteepiggy2393]

thanks so much for the replies guys
bleh
im not sure...
im just scared of talking to him about this stuff cuz i tried once right after we broke up and he got really fustrated annoyed and sorta blew up on me..
idk~
thanks for the advice once again

[I_Love_Rice]

You should really ask, what really happen. Why he was being all cold, and how you guys end up this way...

[Meenuh]

Why don't you just talk to him about it. You said so yourself that your relationship fell apart because of lack of understanding due to a lack of communication. Even though you're not in a relationship right now it's not too late to try and get some communication/understanding towards eachother to see if there is a possibility that you two may end up back together.

Seems like the reason you're still hanging on is because you see these little "signs" you want to see from him that shows that maybe he still misses you and wants to be with you. Talk to him about it and if his answer is still the same then make a clean break.

[scatter_me]

Misunderstandings, they can be pretty painful.

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."
^Keep that in mind.

I think that maybe during the 4 months of your relationship that you let him take the initiative too much, so much that he thinks that he's putting everything in but you're just sitting there doing nothing. Guys need reassurance too- he's feeling insecure and you wasn't there to comfort him. It's obvious that he still has feelings for you and you too. You should have a talk with him, and if everything feels right, then go for it; because in the end that's what really counts, your feelings. Humans make mistakes too. This guy is shy, he wants you to take the first step, so why not? And if after all, it doesn't work out, then it's always what could have been, but never will be.

Time heals all.

[heheimawesome]

i think you should be careful reading these other replies... they say its obvious he still likes you, but when you took the initiative and asked him if he still wanted you to wait, he said no.. maybe you should just ask him if he likes you anymore. maybe theres a reason he doesn't want you to wait?