[champagnee]

so there's this guy ( we'll call him C ) and i've liked him for roughly six months. we've been friends for almost a year and he's one of my closest friends. he knows i like him and everyone of our friends thinks we're a couple or that we should be a couple. even his parents think so ( his mom thinks he's in love with me ). we walk around with linked arms, we have matching pictures on pretty much every site that we're both on ( facebook, myspace, etc ), and his shoulder / chest is pretty much my pillow. we've always acted like this - i don't think there's really been a time when the two of us haven't been super.. tight and couple-y.

thing is... there's another girl ( we'll call her J ) interested in him. C began to really like her and he felt really bad about it considering he knew how i felt about him and he liked me too a little bit. he spent a few days deciding whether or not to take the chance with J. finally, he decided he was going to. so he told me that he liked J and that he was sorry. he said that "he loved me too much" and that "he didn't want to lose me". i didn't think i could continue being friends with him merely because i liked him so much and i was jealous wreck. but C was upset by the fact that i wouldn't speak to him anymore and he felt guilty, and that in turn made me feel bad so... we became friends again.

anyways, J and C have known each other for roughly two weeks ( through facebook and texting ) and they met for the first time a few days ago. the reason they were meeting was to go on a date. C was having doubts about her before the date though, saying things like "i'm not sure i want to be with her" and "it feels wrong". i encouraged him to go after her though, because i wanted him to be happy and i knew he would regret not taking the chance.

but.. she has a boyfriend. she's "taking a break" with him, but they're still in a relationship. J is willing to dump her boyfriend for C and is planning to do so even though C isn't sure he wants anything to happen with J. she more or less considers C her new boyfriend but C doesn't want to be in a relationship with her considering they hardly know each other. and C doesn't act any differently towards me. i asked him if we should stop everything but he said no, so we continue to hold hands and act like we used to.

i still like him a lot but i don't know if i should give up on him and just move on.

what do you think?
anything and everything would be appreciated !

[koiey]

I was in almost the exact same situation as you O:! except that, the "J" in my story was single.
I also tried to stop being friends with my "C", but we were too close to just cut eachother out.
In the end my "C" didn't continue on with "J" and I sorta got what I wanted from "C"...which was
the continuing of holding hands and such... I knew my "C" didn't like me back that way though
The feelings went away eventually, but we're still awesome-O friends.

Hmm...if I were you I'd try to let go of the feelings sooner..if you're sure he doesn't like you that way.
Of course that can't happen over night, but it'll be easier on you the next time a "J" comes around.

Did that...>___> even make sense? LOL sorry ^~^;;

[Shuga]

Hello! I don't really understand why you would hold your hands with him even because then you're just giving him your heart strings to tug the further away he walks from you... I mean still treat him like friends, but don't act like a couple. Not until he can sort out his feelings for not only C but you. Encourage him to think about it for a while (and pray, if he's spiritual like that) but make sure you're not making it difficult for him by acting more-than-friends with him. It could be that he feels so guilty about not being able to possibly return the same affection you give him if he were to be with C. Which we definitely don't want because then if he ever turns out to choose you over her, it would be an obligatory love and not a selfless one, right? So yes, give him time to think and pray (I know I keep going back to this, but when I don't know what to do and nobody does - who can I go to but God?) and you could do that too so you know how to handle this situation the best you can.

I hope everything works out and 'works out', I mean, doesn't have to be happily ever after with THIS guy, it could be with another - or no one at all for a long time. As long as you're happy and you are confident in yourself! Love you lots - God bless.

[koiey]

^^^^
oh, oh, that actually makes much more sense *nods*
carrying on with the couple stuff made it much harder to let go.

[tusoo]

continue with the way you are.
dont stop. i dont see any reason for you to. if you stop, then C might get a bit mad, and then in spite, he'll go out with J, and thats the last thing the both of you want.
just continue. u guys like each other so just go for it. ignore J. i dont like her.

[hippiehop]

I'd give him an ultimatum.

"If you want to be with me then be with me. Don't string me along like some toy. I am a human being and I have feelings. Seeing you with her drives me mad and what is worse is the way you act with me even though you are dating someone else. You know I like you and the only reason why I've let you act like this is because I like you. But I can't take this anymore. You are either my friend or you are not. You either like me or you don't. There is no gray. Only black and white. Don't treat me like your girlfriend if I'm not."

Honestly, I think you should move on. He doesn't like you the same way you like him. And even if he does grow feelings, they will never be anywhere close.

Now where's my cookie?