[estehanio]

First of all I want say hello to everyone, I'm quite new in the forums, but not that new to the website that I've been following for quite a while reading new topics and getting quitely much information about Korea, it's music, movies and a lot more.
In few months I'm going to Korea for a new start. At the moment I'm living in Bosnia, quitely happy, but with one thing missing. My girlfriend which lives in Korea, we met 5 years ago, very long story, it was just a penpal friendship, and well, we are now where we are . I'm very happy with her, and after few years of traveling, me to Korea, twice , and she coming to my country also twice, we are tired of long distance, and it has been a very very hard period, and more than inhuman powers are needed to hold the relationship possible when you are so far. But luckily we made it so far so good. Well better I don't take it too long from here, that was the short introduction. I'm 24 soon, she's 21, and I feel great for her.

We have thought about many options and most of them are complicated, she hasn't finished study yet, so she can't come to my country yet, if we would want to stay. As far now, I decided and arranged a 6 month study at Yonsei university in Seoul(language course), and who knows maybe more after that, depending on my savings and incomes. We are worried how would it be for me to find any kind of work (6 months after I'm in Korea), so I could support myself, even I will have some support from here as I own a private business here, which is not something big, just enough to support myself, and it will be running while I'm there. Sadly, I can't apply for any teaching job, I'm not a native English speaker, even English is so common here and we speak quitely native level English, beside English i speak German fluently, some French and Korean (while my native is Bosnian).

We would like to hear some advices on what should be the best for us, and what kind of options we should look after? Please just don't say marry, it isn't that easy, especially in Korea, as it's a big cultural thing, and I respect that she wants to finish college first and etc, and we are young, and not to mention her quite conservative father, but I don't blame that, I know he just loves his daughter, just as I do, and the fact that some Korean boy who used to like her, called her father and told her she is dating well, a caucasian boy. Well, nevermind this now. We will find a way for that. We really love each other. She's my first love actually, and I never felt better than with her, she gave my whole life a sense.

Anyone with good advices for us, how to continue, what to look for and be aware of?

I thank everyone in advance, and sorry for a long post as it's complicated, and I hope I'm not off topic from the forum.

Once again,

Thanks.

[ax1989]

I think the best thing to do for now is just go to Korea and live with her and see how it is - see how well you adapt to the culture and the people and most importantly, her family. Just visiting and actually LIVING is quite different. She might want to live in Korea for the rest of her life - you never know, and most of the times korean parents are pretty strict and conservative about where their daughter goes to live, whom she marries, etc.

Although, I think the best common ground for both of you (Bosnia and Korea - gotta admit, it's a random combination) is to live somewhere in North America; Canada or the US perhaps? Of course there would be paperwork involved, but it's a good place for different cultured people to live together. More accepting than I say, Korea - I can't say the same about Bosnia though.

Anyways, best of luck to you both.

[chrisng]

first of all, congratulations on being to last with her for 5 years! (:
and yeah, I agree with the above poster
asian cultures are.. well, REALLY protective of their children, and really picky of who they date, marry, live etc.
the best option is to prob live in north america, but wait till you're more stable first,
because its not just for yourself anymore, you need money to support the both of you,
your studies, and in the future, your children.
good luck! (:

[and i sayd]

yeah idk but moving to korea that is going to be hard isn't it? looks like your gonna be out of the norm maybe? Idk, don't really have any good strong advice, just make her happy.

[estehanio]

Yes we both understand that living in Korea is a bit hard, as Korea is quietly homogeneous country, but well, as far as I go, I liked it there, I have been there two months, and honestly all I had were positive experiences, true it's a very different culture, but I personally didn't find it hard to be there, at least those few months. I like the food, I like the language already know some of it for basic conversations, I just like the lifestyle and I'm okay with it!

As far my girlfriend goes she would like to live somewhere else someday, except Korea, she was also in Bosnia two times and she liked it, although Bosnia isn't near as half as urban as Korea, and she would come to Bosnia but she has like 1.5 years of college more, but we can't wait, that's why I go there, and a bit problem is how to find work there when you're not native .
Well living in USA i really couldn't, it's just too far from me in mentality, don't know about Canada though, just I know many Bosnian people live there, and honestly I always wanted to live in Asia despite all troubles and I always knew it's not going to be easy, but well, I sticked a lot to work and made some things come true.

And as far as my girlfriends parents go, her mom I met her, and she's great, she likes me, just her dad is a bit how to say, tough , I guess I'll have to work on that one to make him feel safe about his daughter. I actually wanted to meet him, and show him that I'm okey, but well in Korea, it's different you meet the parents only when you want to marry...so, quite different, and yeah she did meet my parents, and they are ok with it. And I guess it contributes to her dad that I'm from a Balkan country, where there is a stereotype of people that are insane and poor, trust me, I went a bit around the world, and I never seen less poverty than in most of countries from Balkan...last summer I went to France and I came back more sad than happy, seeing dozens of people laying and sleeping on virtually every corner of the street.

Thank you all for your posts! Means a lot to me.

[mekka]

Good Luck to you both! I would like to post some words of advice and to give you more confidence in your dilema, but I feel what I will say others will take offense. You love her go for it! Live your life not her parents life, your life. Be respectful, but do not let them controll you. Good Luch Dude!!!!

[estehanio]

Good Luck to you both! I would like to post some words of advice and to give you more confidence in your dilema, but I feel what I will say others will take offense. You love her go for it! Live your life not her parents life, your life. Be respectful, but do not let them controll you. Good Luch Dude!!!!

Thank you very much and I think I know what you mean by the advice. I will do my best,and surely no one will control me...because I don't allow that to myself. Thank you for your support!!