[I_Love_Rice]

What do you think of lawyers? Their future and everything...

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is forced into law school, his whole family is happy about it. Except for him and I, (he even told me he doesn't have the skills to be one). I'm worried for him, for so many time, they have made him do what he doesn't want to do. He even has to move to go near the school, and be there for 3 years. He really wants to be a nurse, in the medical field with me... I am sad to hear this, and I don't know how to help him, (knowing i can't help much). What can I do to make him feel better? I too am anger by this, and very sad... Tears of anger. Is this world just so unfair? It's really hard to learn something you don't like, and on top of that, he's moving away from his friends too.

I really don't know what to do, anyone with some suggestion.... Shall I just let destiny roll?

edit* emotionally blackmail and paying for college too, even though he doesnt need to pay for the college he is in now

Edit** Now he doesn't have to be a lawyer, but it seems that his dad doesnt like me now, because he doesnt think I'll make enough money to live, because I'm going to be a physical therapist. He's probably thinking of trying to make him get rid of me now, and start finding him someone that can make more money. (Of course my bf is saying F to that)

Which comes out to be, his dad already picked someone for him now. He wants him to move there with him, and he has a gf. He says his gf has a niece about my bf's age, and she drive. My bf already drives, so he wants him to move in with him and his gf, and not give him a car. Even when they have more than enough cars already. He says that she is going to be a doctor and w/e, and because I'm going into PT, I dont make enough money and w/e.... Is money everything???? So he wants him to break up with me, just because I'm not making more than 100 dollars an HOUR (when I get that job). "Money isnt happiness, it only enhance happiness..."

I trust my bf, I know nothing is going to happen. I just hope he doesnt move in with them... I am so , I dont even know what to feel. I mean , i've been with him for so many years, It just hurts to see someone trying to pull us apart, after so much we did to stay together. I love him dearly. (Long distant relationship, and I've met his whole family, they loved me, but now his dad doesnt like me, because i'm not a doctor. BUT I will get a Doctor degree for a PT)

And then ontop of that, I'm sure if he moves in with them, his dad would take his internet away, and also complain that he uses the phone too much and take that away.... And then he wouldnt even have a car, and I would be out of the picture. as easy and simple as that...

[Lie]

How is he being forced into it? Because his parents pay for his education and they've decided he should become a lawyer, or he just feels sort of emotionally blackmailed into it (i.e. they made him feel like if he doesn't become a lawyer they're going to be unhappy with him/stop talking to him/etc)? Has he told them that it's not what he wants to do?

[supa'Wanki]

He's already made the mistake of taking a path he doesn't want to take. He can either keep going on that path or turn back and start all over to become a nurse. It's a hard decision now that he's made it so far. I don't get why he didn't stand up for what he wants and went into law school, when he had so many chances to do so in under-grad. There isn't much YOU can do than to support him for his future decisions. I feel bad for him, because if he takes on a career that he dislikes, his life would be miserable. It's never too late to turn back, it's just going to be disappointing when your boyfriend put so much effort to get to where he is now and turns back.

[I_Love_Rice]

How is he being forced into it? Because his parents pay for his education and they've decided he should become a lawyer, or he just feels sort of emotionally blackmailed into it (i.e. they made him feel like if he doesn't become a lawyer they're going to be unhappy with him/stop talking to him/etc)? Has he told them that it's not what he wants to do?

it's both , he told me he wants to be a nurse.. he thinks it's interesting.

[sodaniechea]

Only way to resolve this, is that HE needs to talk to his parents. Like for me, my parents forced pharmacy on me but I wanted to go into fashion, so I told my parents about it over and over and over and over. Took awhile but they agreed to it.

[Tuxedomask]

Sigh...Asian parents and money...

OP I'll write more later I'm at work

[colloquy]

Why doesn't his parents want him to enter the medical field? Does his family own a law firm? I'm surprised, most Asian parents prefer the medical field over being a lawyer. On the other hand, there's many other things than he can do with a law degree, simply than becoming a lawyer.

[angels.disguise]

if i were you i would tell him to get some guts
& tell his parents that he wants to be a nurse & not lawyer.

technically nobody can force anybody to do anything.
you always have a choice.
as for paying for college, theres thousands of people
working to pay for it. they take out loans & grants
& do whatever they can to pay for it.

i see no reason why he cant go.

[I_Love_Rice]

His family said they are going to turn their back on him, and leave him alone.... They said he would be a failure to him, and would give up all hope on him.

[joie.de.vivre]

if he really, really wanted to go into the medical field, he should continue fighting for it then.

in my opinion, i think what his family is saying about "turning their backs on him" is just words, and nothing more than that. of course, i don't know how his family is exactly, but i have asian parents too, and those words ring familiar. my mom has threatened to "disown" me when i told her i wanted to be an author, but, honestly, how realistic is that ? i knew she was merely saying that to scare me. so, i spent three months arguing my point with her. it eventually worked out very nicely for everyone concerned, and i think discussing the whole lawyer/nurse issue would be easier for your boyfriend because, heck, being a nurse in the health care field...as opposed to a starving artist/author hah hah... is not a "failure" in anyone's (who is reasonable) book.

this issue really falls on your boyfriend ultimately. he should be the one talking things out with his family.
just be encouraging and supportive of him while he goes through this ~best of luck to you both !~

[Tuxedomask]

His family said they are going to turn their back on him, and leave him alone.... They said he would be a failure to him, and would give up all hope on him.

That's pretty damn harsh. I don't understand why they want to force their son into something he doesn't like. Okay what's the reason for them wanting him to be a lawyer? Is it for social status, money or they think it's best for his future? I hate to be racist against our own race but asian cultures are obsessed with social status. If I were him I'd do whatever I want.

My whole family wants me to be an engineer and I even moved to a different country for 2 and half years to be an engineer and now almost 3 years later I'm heading in a different direction and moving back home. I'm just lucky my parents accepted my decision. I hope things work out for your bf.

[plegend2007]

If he can't convince his parents to let him enter into nursing school.....
He might not be cut out to be a lawyer anyways.

Unfortunately, there is nothing more that you can do. It is ultimately up to him, and what he decides.

[ssulja]

Being a lawyer takes a lot of willpower to get through the classes, the readings, and the incredibly boring process. It's not something that you can simply force someone into, and your bf will soon find that out during Law School. If you're not interested, you're simply not interested. I honestly can't imagine anyone being able to NOT be interested, and making it through everything it takes to be a lawyer.

I think your bf is gonna have to tell his family that.

[dafleur]

he sounds like a damn pushover. i'd leave him now because your future with him, will be a future with his PARENTS running both of your lives. no thanks.

[imhitomi]

I have a lot of respect for lawyers and aspire to become one myself, but he shouldn't become a lawyer just because his family wants him to.
It's not much advice but there really isn't much you can do. This is his battle, not yours. Just be there for him, whichever path he chooses to take.
But if he decides to bend to his family's pressure, you might have to ask yourself if you'd have a good future with someone who can't say no to his family.

[swtaznang3l07]

The only thing you could do is encourage him to stand up for himself. If his parents are blackmailing him and he's not paying for the school he is in now then what's the worry? I'm sure he has scholarships/grants etc. He needs to stand up to his parents/family if he really doesn't want to be a lawyer that bad. Family will always be your family, no matter what happens. They will talk to him again and as soon as you know it, things will go back to the way it was before.

[Swtess]

Why didn't he decide to take the medical field in the beginning? I'm sure his parents would've been fine with that.
One thing that I am wondering is that he wants to go into nursing because you are in it. Since you said that he wanted to go into nursing with you.
Well if he said so himself that he's not cut out to be a lawyer then he should stop. It's a waste of money and time. If its not a decision he made on his own anyway but was coaxed into by his parents unwillingly then he's doomed anyways. He doesn't have the passion to become one so tell him to talk to his parents. It's a big decision in his life and he needs to have his parents' understanding

[I_Love_Rice]

He was in school trying to be in the medical field. He is going to go talk to his dad, I just hope everything goes well. I will support him all the way. No matter what he chooses.