[`kai]

Okay, so univeristy is just on the horizon and me and my s/o have each got two choices. I have UoT and Western, he has UoT and UBC - he refuses to go to Western and I'm really icky about staying in Toronto for personal reasons.

At some point he mentioned that if I go to Western, he's going to UBC; if I go to UoT, he'll go to UoT. )But he's also mentioned that he's not coming back to Toronto if he's going to UBC... Kind of annoys me.) So I'm kind of in a dilemma, and preparing for the worst. xP

So I just want some advice before anything happens... For those of you in long-distance relationships, or have been in one:

1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it?
2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam?
3. Is it difficult? =\ I mean, not seeing your s/o everyday and being immersed in a totally different environment from before... >< Scares me a bit.
4. Do you guys meet up often? How often?
5. Any general advice? xD

I think I'm going to approach him about it sometime -- because I have doubts about how long I'll be able to keep a long distance relationship going when I can't see him everyday... We also don't talk on MSN as much as we do in real life, by far, so...

Any advice would be lovelyyyyy <3 Thank you! ^^

[diana78]

try to transition yourself into it. Talk on the phone/webcam/internet more often, but also hang out in person. And if you do end up doing a long-distance relationship, be aware that both of you will be very busy, and you'll need to trust him and not go paranoid if he doesn't respond/get online right away or something. It can be difficult, especially if you two have been very very close and are used to seeing each other every day. But I'm sure that you guys can make it work. =]

[Angel_luvusa]

I'm in a long distance (abt 200 miles between us) relationship and have been for nearly 10 months.. It's really hard, but if you feel that the person is worth it, then you should do it..

To answer your questions:

1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it? Hmm.. there really was no transition, so to say, for us.. I'd known him a long time (from a different state) and then wehn we both moved to GA, we just decided to start one..

2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam? surprisingly enough, we talk ALOT.. We're both full time college students and we both have jobs.. Throughough the day we text.. and then whenever we have free time we talk on the phone (we talk about when we'll be free the night before and we've learned each others normal schedules..). On nights where we're both at home, we do webcam.. Even if we're busy with h/w or something, the webcam is on.

3. Is it difficult? I won't lie and say it's easy, because it's really hard. There's been times when I've been so sad, and just wanted him here to be with me.. but then I have to realize that he can't be. I can also relate to the new environment, because I just moved here so I didn't know anybody either. Another thing that's hard (esp being new to a place) is who your "allowed" to be friends with.. My b/f doesn't say i can't be friends with guys and such, but he seems upset by it. Furthermore, there has to be a TON of trust..

4. Do you guys meet up often? How often? We do meet up. It varies between 1-3 times a month.. Recently it's only been about once a month.. but we have a lot of fun when we do meet up. Last time, for example, we got a hotel.. ate a lot.. did some karaoke.. stayed up til about 3 am, and then had the next day to enjoy also

5. Any general advice? Long distance relationships are really rough.. You have to be a strong individual and be have a lot of trust in your s/o or the relationship will not go well..

on another note, is this going to be your first year in college? If so, you might want to watch out because college is a HUGE transition.. Meeting all the new people, and having so much freedom.. I started college in a long distance relationship and I do feel as if it has sort of stopped me from completely enjoying my year.. However, I love my b/f a lot and so it was totally worth it.. and if you feel the same, then you should give the relationship a try. You just have to realize that you and your s/o will have to sacrifice some of the "freshman college experience"

[Tuxedomask]

^ Great tips...You basically covered almost everything.

I just came here to tell you to go to Western if it's your first choice. First of all he has no say in which school you should or should not go to and it's not his place to give you an ultimatum like that. He should be supporting you in whatever school you choose to go to and should be happy to want to work things out. I'd talk to him if you are adamant about going to Western. It may seem like Western is far away but if you both want to work it out then Western is only 3 hrs away from Toronto.

[`kai]

^ Yeah, I know. =( It annoyed me when he first proposed it, but when I asked him again he said he was joking so... :x

Thank you for all the insight. Angel luvusa, you really helped me out and covered basically everything I was thinking about. xD But yes, it will be my first year in Uni... :S I have worries about it 'cause it's going to be so different from everything. D: Or at least I imagine it to be.

and thanks for the support diana78 =)!

[TOOPY2]

i have a question abt LD r'ships too. is it too much to be asking to chat online or call everyday (either one, not both)?

[JewelleryBox]

I tried twice in my life; both failed.
At the beginning, everything seems fine. Later, you will find it difficult.
Sometime when I was busy or preparing for exam and wasnt able to talk with him on phone or msn, he got annoyed and said that I do not care about our relationship BS like this. Because no one exactly knows what is going on for his life and think the same, there are so many misunderstand or miscommunication. That the beginning of our broken relationship and ended with breaking up.
Personally, not trusting LD anymore; of course there are people who success but it is really TOUGH.~

[lilangelover]

i have a question abt LD r'ships too. is it too much to be asking to chat online or call everyday (either one, not both)?

um if you two have the time for each other and the BOTH of you want to then it's ok. but its going to be hard to actually do it because you'll be busy with school, friends, and just life in general.

OK so... It's almost been 10 months since i've been with my boyfriend and the whole thing was a long distance relationship. We got together and the very NEXT day he went off to summer school in southern california. I go to a community college at home while he goes to a UC. I'm not going to lie it is VERY HARD. You're going to miss each other ALOT. But there's no other feeling like it when you guys finally get to see each other after 3-4 months of being apart and not actually being able to touch or hug the other person. the best advice i think i can really give you is that you two have to TRUST and UNDERSTAND each other. You guys have to trust that the other person won't cheat or see other people and not be paranoid. and you have to understand that you guys might be too busy with school and other things to be able to respond to every text or talk to each other every day.

1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it? well we didn't really transition to it. i like to think that he's gone on a REALLY LONG vacation :] i don't there's really a way you can transition to it. it just happened and i also like to think that i'm single again but he gets mad when i tell him that :X ahaha

2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam? Well since we're both really busy we talk at least Once a week. like on days when we don't have alot of homework. We talk for about an 1hr or maybe 2hrs. Either early in the morning around 11 or 12 on sundays and then go do homework or late at night. It's up to you two, depending on your schedule and when you're not busy. Just plan it out each week. It doesn't have to be the same day each week. As for Webcam we usually webcam when we do homework. We don't really talk to each other it's just so we can see each other's faces. There will be times when we have little breaks and just talk to each other online and make funny faces through the webcams. but a WARNING! it might be distracting and you might not be able to get your work done AHHA. and through out the day we text each other so we can stay connected but not really bothering one another :]

3. Is it difficult? =\ I mean, not seeing your s/o everyday and being immersed in a totally different environment from before... >< Scares me a bit.
It is difficiult but have fun in college! It's your first year and you'll make new friends and just actually experiencing what its like to be on your own. You'll be busy so it'll distract you from missing him too much.

4. Do you guys meet up often? How often?
when he comes back home from school, so i try to go see him as much as possible. but it's kind of hard because my parents don't know i have a boyfriend and they are super protective and it is already hard for me to go out to see my friends on a regular bases, but we manage. most of the time is almost everyday when he comes back and for a couple of hours.

5. Any general advice? xD
I think you guys should talk about it with each other alot more. Do you guys really want to stay together while you're away? Can you really trust each other? And just try it out if you can do all of it and really do want to stay together and see how it goes. We decided to just see what will happen and see if it'll work. You both have to make an effort for it to work. good luck

and just have fun together and in college whatever path you guys decide to choose and where to go if you have any questions just PM and i'll try to help you out as much as i can or give you advice

[imhitomi]

1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it?
We knew we both wanted to see each other. The distance did not matter. We were both extremely clear that it didn't matter how far we were. One of the things we say to each other a lot is, "In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged."
2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam?
We text during the day most days and we chat on MSN every single night. We have webcams because it's nice to be able to see each other. We dont set up times but we usually sign on around the same time every night. If plans change, we'll text each other. We talk on the phone a few times a week as well for a an hour or two each time.
3. Is it difficult?
It gets a little lonely sometimes but I'm also glad it's this way. I feel like we've connected on a deeper level because we've had to be apart. It takes more effort but I'm more than happy to try harder. If you guys are serious about each other, it will work because you will both give it your all. You just have to be able to trust each other.
4. Do you guys meet up often? How often?
I get to see him several times a month. It's not a lot but it makes me cherish the time we have together and not take it for granted.
5. Any general advice?
Don't try to "schedule" everything. Yes, you have to make plans sometimes but things dont always have to follow some time table. Just be happy with what you have. :3

[MNLV27]

is it too much to be asking to chat online or call everyday (either one, not both)?

I don't think it's too much to do that. My s/o and I talk every night and for me I like that fact that he can find time at night to call me and just talk for a few minutes even though he's like tired and worn out..

1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it?
I think that you can never really transition into just suddenly going to be a ldr. It just happens and you'll have to just go along with it.

2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam?
My s/o and I talked to each other on the phone every night. Sometimes the phone conversation would either be a few minutes or a few hours, sometimes through out the night. We don't web cam because he doesn't really use the internet so we mostly talk on the phone.

3. Is it difficult? =\ I mean, not seeing your s/o everyday and being immersed in a totally different environment from before... >< Scares me a bit.
Yes, it is definitely difficult. I hate how when I just need someone here with me, he can't be right here. It definitely sucks a lot because I was the one that had to move to a different state first, so a new environment and missing him too, was a bad combination.

4. Do you guys meet up often? How often?
Well, before he joined the marines, we were able to see each other whenever I was able to go into town, that would be whenever I wanted. But since he's in the marines, at first it would be once every few months but now he's over seas so we won't be able to see each other until the end of this year or early next year. Sucks but it's okay, he's doing his job right now, so I'm proud of him.

5. Any general advice? xD
If both of you are really committed and serious for this relationship to last, then you guys will definitely have to have trust in each other and be able to communicate. You both have to be strong mentally because when you need the other to be there, they just can't be there. I think that in the long run, if the both of you are able to get through with the ldr, then you guys can definitely work it out when you guys are together.

[joongielove]

In my honest opinion, I think that LDR's are so very worth it, because you emerge out it with a new type and level of trust, and more love than when you started.

That having been said, I think LDR's are very hard to maintain. It's kind of like a flower. It needs constant care, constant watering. It grows when there's sun and wilts when there's darkness. In LDR's, you're bound to have more rough patches, and since you cant be there in person, it's hard to show emotions or talk an argument through.

I've been in one semi-LDR, and that lasted for..4 months. It didn't work out because of the lack of communication, but don't let the failed relationships discourage you. Like an above poster said, if you both really want it, you'll find some way to fit both your schedules.

1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it?\
Uhm, we didn't really transition into it. We both kinda just knew it was coming.

2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam?
There was no communication. Hence relationship= fail.

3. Is it difficult?
Not gonna lie, it really is.

4. Do you guys meet up often? How often?
Uhm, we met up usually once every week, or once every two weeks.

5. Any general advice? xD

If you want it, go get it.

[tofuxsoon]

my story is complicated [and i'm not trying to scare you with it]. technically, he's not my boyfriend right now but we still have the same feelings for each other.

we've known each other for almost 3 years and we've been going out for 2 years. he's had situations where he had to go back to our home country for family issues. he'd usually be gone for 6 months.

in total, we've been separated for 3 times [right now would be our 4th.] the last time we separated, i couldn't contact him often so it made him get close to another girl. she liked him and he started liking her so they had a "thing" going on but never really "went out" [cause she lives in california like me] cause this happened when he was away.

i found out that while they had theur little "relationship" going on, he would always complain about me so she grew tired of it and broke it off. that made him realize his true feelings and came back to me.


1. How did you guys go about it? Like, how did you guys transition into it?
we just sucked it up that we had to be on different continents and tried to contact each other very often

2. How do you keep up communication? Set up times for conversations, etc? Webcam?
we always chat online and webcam and talk on the phone once in a while [it used to be very often back then]

3. Is it difficult?
at first, we both missed each other like crazy but later, we matured and lived with it. we both believed that "when someone belongs with you, nothing can keep you two apart."

4. Do you guys meet up often? How often?
whenever he comes back, we'd try to go out every weekend

5. Any general advice?
have trust in each other. if you have any concerns or worries, just ask each other directly. it's frustrating enough to not be able to figure out a regular relationship.