[siyeon]

I don't really know where to start..

I guess I should just tell everyone that I am currently 2 months pregnant and I'm 19 years old... YES I am keeping the baby... I found out only 2 weeks after conception, because I missed my period, and I only slept with one person one time, so I just knew... And even before I took the test, I just had this feeling that I was pregnant. I can't describe it.. but I just knew.

It was really hard telling my parents.. cause obviously they couldn't ever imagine that this would happen. They were devastated, to say the least. When I first told my mom, she basically beat me up, crying, slapping me, yelling.. I had to stay the night at a friend's house because I could not handle everything at my own house. I don't know... when I think about it now... I can't believe I ever made it out alive. It was so much stress and crying and oh my god, it was so terrible those first couple of weeks.

And my boyfriend...
basically, I'm not trying to be arrogant, I'm just telling everything as it is, my boyfriend (father to be) was like, the MOST popular korean guy EVER.. I mean, in terms of the korean fob world. Everyone calls him 강인 (Kangin) because he looks just like him, except taller... and seriously, he was one of those guys that people would say had a 빛 (light) around him. I can't describe it. Every girl I knew wanted to be with him and of course I was totally into him too, but I'm not a fob (I'm korean, but I was born in the US) so I never thought I would ever talk to him, so I just admired from afar lol. I also liked him cause he wasn't a player, and didn't date every cute girl he saw.

Freshman year of college, I kind of started hanging out with more fobs and at a party, everyone was really drunk and he was there, and we kind of hooked up (kissing, not sex) and the next morning, he was like, omg omg I've never done that before i'm sorry, i'm sorry, and I thought he was the cutest thing ever. So long story short, we had a few dates, and started dating.

But it wasn't like I was a sl-ut either. I never had a boyfriend before him.. never been kissed, never held hands with a boy... until that one night. I was feeling REALLY badly about myself, until he started apologizing and I realized that he wasn't a bad guy.

Anyway, basically we had sex... and it was both of our first times.. and we only did it once, but that's when I got pregnant. (YES we were having SAFE sex... but it happened. I don't know how.. but it did.)

I think I'm kind of rambling.. but he knows I'm pregnant and everything, and he was actually really sweet about it, fortunately.
Our parents want us to get married before the baby is born... but I don't really know.

I guess what I want some advice about is..
A lot of people my age, especially fob korean girls, are talking sh*t about me, saying I got pregnant on purpose, etc... Obviously that's not true... I know people will make a lot of assumptions about me and say of mean things just because they can.. but I'm having a hard time handling all of it.
The worst was when an unni I knew came up to me the other day and said, "I never expected for YOU to get pregnant. I thought you were so innocent. Are you keeping the baby? Because if you do, you know you'll be ruining your life, and you'll ruin K's (my bf) life too. He has so much going for him, are you really going to do that to him?" I will seriously never forget what she said.. she said it so MEANLY, I can't even describe it.

My boyfriend is totally supportive of this situation. He wants to get married.. and not because he was forced into the idea. In the beginning, he was really shocked and stuff but he manned up and said he would take responsibility and I wasn't going to be alone in this.

I'm not a wh0re, but I guess everyone will always think I am until I die. I had sex ONE TIME, while other people do it all the time, with multiple people, and hook up with random people, and people will always think I'm a wh0re just because I got pregnant from one (special) time..
And the fact that my boyfriend is good-looking and popular... it's making me feel like sh!t. Everyone implies that I'm not good enough for him, I'm not on his level, I'm "ruining" his life. The funny thing is, before, when we were just dating, people said that we looked GREAT together, we matched eachother's levels, no one is 아까워 on either side.. Now I've become this soul-sucking, future-ruining monster. I've become trash.

I never imagined that my life would be like this... but it's all happening now. How can I deal with all the rumors and hateful comments? I know I'm supposed to just ignore it... but I can't. It's making my self-worth go down MAJORLY.

Help please... I just need someone to talk to

EDIT:
Oh my god I never thought that people would be so nice to me on here! Thanks for all the quick replies, this is amazing lol. It's almost making me cry reading some of these posts- Thank you so much for the support!

EDIT 2:
Note for everyone on page 2

EDIT 3:
Quick note on page 14~!

EDIT 4:
Note on page 17!

UPDATE 6/3/09:
Well, thanks everyone for all their support and advice!! I look through these pages and it really does make me feel like I'm not alone in all this... people/friends around me are still being distant from me, probably talking badly about me, but at this point, I'm ignoring everything, and trying to focus on making a happy, healthy baby!
I know that I'm not a s/ut and it's really unfair for people to judge me, but I understand that that's just how people are. I can imagine if this was someone else I knew, and it didn't happen to me, I would most likely be acting the same way, since I don't understand the situation. I don't blame these people, and I don't hate them. I'm just going to ignore everything, all the bad rumors and gossip, and I'm just going to live a happy life! After all, I'm not the first person to get pregnant before marriage and have a good, lasting marriage!
My parents and my boyfriend's parents are finally at a point where they are accepting the situation, and I'm very thankful of that.
On that note, I want to just announce that I got engaged on May 31st, 2009 at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta, GA to my beautiful boyfriend
Thanks for everyone's support. I know that I can get back on track and be a good mother (and good wife too!)

[,astrolicious]

Ah. Reading through your story, first thing that comes to mind is: HUGGG.
I don't think I could understand your situation right now but I just want to tell you to stay strong.
I know that sounds really tough right now but you have people who love you loads.
Like that friend who let you stay overnight : )
Like your super sweet boyfriend.
You're super lucky to have people like that and that outweighs all those other stupid b****s!!!
Seriously. They're just not worth the time or thought... not even for a moment!
You have much more important things to take care of right now. Who gives a crap for their BS.
Your boyfriend seems really sweet and understanding! (and cute, I'm going to admit that ;] )
Anyways, don't let those mean things get to you!
Not worth it! You seem like a super sweet and lovable girl.
People who are worth your time will pull through for you. You'll see. : )
I love you! Hahaha Kind of weird coming from a stranger isn't it?
But heck. : ) I do! Heehee.

Take care of yourself and your new family! <3
Be happy. Things will work out very quickly! Don't let anything negative get to you.
It's not only for your sake but for your baby and for your boyfriend!
I hope that helped a little! Fighting!!! <- lame hhahahaa.

I know it'll be hard to ignore everything but you have to try, okay?
(they're jealous. xP don't deny it! hahahaha)
And if that doesn't work, talk to someone about it. Rant to us! : )
Don't keep it inside because you're so much better than that!
You're a super duper cute beautiful girl, okay? n___n not a wh0re or anything!

PRETTY BABIES (I'm a pedobear in some sorts x__x)
Good luck! n__n

[wingedjojo]

wow, uh. these things happen. the fact that you thought it over and talked to the people you love about the situation shows you have maturity and can handle things. and that in itself already takes a lot of strength, so bravo. i'm sure you can survive this.

as for the sh*t talking, yeah, generally the advice is to ignore but i understand that's really hard to do. just think of it this way: they're just all jealous. you're cute, your boyfriend is totally hot, so your baby is gonna be the cutest/hottest thing alive!! they're just envious that they couldn't be where you are. at least you know who your real friends are and who you can or can't trust.

you're starting a family now so family is the most important thing, don't worry about nobody else. your family loves you and even if it starts out that they're not too happy about things, they'll come around. family will be there for you and support you.

remember, everybody lives their lives differently. just because you don't follow a particular formula doesn't mean you can't live a happy, fulfilling, successful life.

also. when your daughter/son grows up, you'll still look young and cute in all your family pictures (no old wrinkly memories for you!).

hahaha. i hope i helped. and congratulations.

[.ChocoCat.]

um.. wow, okay those people need to shove it.
you, from what i can tell from reading the above, are a very sweet girl. if that was your first time, you're definitely not a sl-ut/wh0re.
i can't really think of anything to say.. ^^;
but i do hope things turn out well for you. and hey, you're the one with the 'kangin' and not those other girls right?

[minti]

i just had to comment on ur post
first of all, congratz on ur baby, i agree with above post that ur baby is going to be cutest!

it's really hard for an asian to be in this situation, cuz we r suppose to be all innocent and all goody good, but stuff happens. and it's not like u slept with many guys, this was ur first time and it was safe sex too, it just means u guys r meant to be.

i'm korean too and i know how mean other korean unnis are, they are so judgmental and abuse their power to crush dongsangs. i been there. i have to honestly say the rumor and gossip won't stop until something else happens because people live off those stuff cuz people r stupid and love drama. however, that doesn't mean u should care about it. u made a decision, u have supporting boyfriend and hopefully other close friends. focus on ur baby well being and think about how cute family u guys will be. thinking about bad stuff is bad for ur baby.

i wish u all the luck!

[TVXQ_superjunior]

I could only think that those people that talked about you are just jealous...
It's not yours or his fault to fall in love and have sex... so dont feel bad about it...
I'm glad that your boyfriend too the responsibility instead of running away...
of course we will never know what will happen in the future
but i think you can be sure that there are people who are supportive of you like your parents
No matter how angry they are, i'm sure they will help take care of the baby when you and your bf goes to study

Major advise : just ignore those mean comments and live life to the fullest
appreciate your baby and the baby is going to have a cool mum and dad! *huggies*

[starrie]

I'm glad that your boyfriend is supportive of you and that your parents aren't forcing you to do anything you don't want to.

I think for now you should just think about the future and how things will work out. I know that fob girls can be a real pain in the gossiping department, but they are probably just jealous of who your boyfriend is. They're trying to make up excuses to make it seem like he's forced to be with you. Ignore them. They can call you names and assume things, but you know who you are. They'll realize what they're doing is wrong sooner or later and probably feel like sh1t afterwards. It's a waste of time to try and deal with those kind of immature girls.

I agree with someone who posted above, definitely don't keep any of these kind of issues inside. You can rant to Soompi and I'm sure tons of people would be willing to listen. <3

EDIT: Oh yeah, I'm a canadian-born Korean so I can totally understand the slight cultural difference between us 'westernized' Koreans and fobs. I haven't had any direct incidents but I know that some Korean 언니's can be ruthless when it comes to dislike (although there are very mature and nice ones too!). This will eventually blow over and you won't have to worry about them.

[Spiritm]

You sound like your doing a mighty fine job so far just keep your head held high and even though its hard ignore those people trying to put you down because all that is, is hatred and jealousy. My mom got pregnant with my oldest sister when she was 18 and faced a lot of things like your going to face. The father
didn't stick around though and she was sent away to a home for pregnant teens (yikes) who give away their baby once their born but my mom ended up going back and taking my sister back! Any how my mom is talking over my shoulder right now and she says that you shouldn't worry about anything but the family that is
about to be created. Ditch all those hateful people out the window and focus on your baby and working it out for the best. Its hard to explain she says but if you work hard at it and keep truckin forward (because it will be a hard and trying journey! ) you'll see it will have its rewards and blessings along with those few sacrifices you will have to make. You'll be fine even if you don't see right now, you will be!

[Chanellas]

HUG~!!!!

Congrats! You guys created a beautiful thing! Just tell them, "K did NOT pick a wh0re!"
Focus on your future family! You're going to have the CUTEST baby!!

get the dirt off your shoulder!
Don't base your own self-worth on people who don't give a damn for you and you don't give a damn for.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

soompi is here for you~!!!

[siyeon]

also. when your daughter/son grows up, you'll still look young and cute in all your family pictures (no old wrinkly memories for you!).

hahaha. i hope i helped. and congratulations.

Haha, my friends said that to me too.
I am really REALLY glad that my bf was so good about all this... I didn't think he would be like, "Abort it, I'm not dealing with it" but... I guess I didn't really know how he would react.
And I know that both of our parents are being supportive of us, even though they are majorly disappointed in us...
So I guess in the end, I am a really really lucky girl, considering how a lot of other people have it much worse than I do..
I shouldn't be complaining so much, I know.

I guess all the insults and stuff can be blamed on jealousy... but what would they have to be jealous of? For them, the bottom line is that they aren't pregnant. I know that most of the girls that are talking badly about me have had sex and do have sex and do things that would REALLY deem them to be "sl-uts".. but my pregnancy is just solid proof that I sleep around or something.. Idk.

[systemid]

you seemed to have handled the situation very maturely so far by tellin ur parents and ur boi about it. your so brave!! yeah, there will be a bit of criticism, but that'll pass.

you and your boy is going to have to support one another thought this stage in ur lives! im just a bit worried since it doesnt seem like you too have been going out for too long. this will definitely speed up the get to know you process. just be open with one another and be more understanding of each other. there will be times where there is a lot of pressure. you two really have to keep it together! there is no one route for how you should live your life. this could be an amazing experience if you have the right mindset.

i dun wanna sound critical or anything, but this is really important!!
make sure ur keeping the baby because he/she is YOUR baby and that baby is a living person that you will love and care for! dont do it as an insurance policy to keep that prized boy on ur side.

ur baby is going to be gorgeous and although the lil one might be a handful at times, just think of it, you've brought a new life into this world! give him/her lots of love!

PLZ keep us UP TO DATE!!!! good luck and congratulations! =)

[chuchu728]

I normally don't respond to stuff in this section of soompi but this really caught my eye...

First of all I have to give you props for actually seeking advice rather than being rash or bottling up your emotions.
But I'm guessing you're having a problem with what all these people are saying to you but I have to agree with others
and say that they're simply jealous of you. No lie. You might not believe it but I honestly believe that's what it is.
You didn't come off as arrogant describing your boyfriend but I'm guessing that these unnis are saying all this crap about
you because they honestly do not have a chance with him anymore. I mean before they complimented you and said
that you two looked good together but at the time you two were just dating which could openly imply that you could
one day end but now that you two are bound by a baby and maybe soon marriage they honestly don't have a chance.
And on top of that your boyfriend is completely supportive which is probably just fueling their jealousy. Which is why
I think you shouldn't take what they say to heart!

With these hateful rumors and comments besides just ignoring them I think you should also preoccupy yourself with
other things you enjoy and also spend time with your boyfriend since he'll basically ensure the fact that whatever they
say doesn't matter since its both you and your boyfriend's future...not theirs.

I also think maybe you should rid yourself of these people...honestly cut them out of your lives because they're just making
it more difficult for you. You should honestly surround yourself with positive people who truly understand you, who you truly
are and not base their judgments off the simple fact that you got pregnant.

I know it sucks that this happened to you rather than others but I honestly think that it's a good thing. I think it happened so
that you could reevaluate the people in your life and make you realize who are the people you should surround yourself with.

And like someone said before...everyone's life is different and a cookie-cutter formula doesn't apply to everyone and doesn't
ensure a happy life. I'm more than sure you'll be happy no matter what but you just gotta endure it now!

I hoped this helped somewhat and congratulations<3 You seem like sucha genuine person and I know your baby will be really
fortunate to have you as a mother!

[erure]

Korean girls are just like that -- they're just picking fights with you because they're jealous. It could have ended badly (him not accepting your pregnancy and you getting dumped, or him forcing you to get an abortion, etc) but it didn't because it sounds like he's a responsible person, so that's great -- they're just jealous of your happy ending. Hope everything works out -- and don't listen to what anyone else says; it's what you know and what you do that really matters.

[makelovenoises]

Aww don't worry! *hugs*

Your boyfriend is so nice and supportive. He's taking a big responsibility!

I don't really know what to say because basically the above posters took the words out of my mouth

I'm curious how your boyfriend looks like now

[jaeka]

I just need to back up the idea that those korean girls are just jealous. You're in a relationship with a loving, supporting hot guy, having his kid and maybe even marrying him. I can imagine they're almost green-eyed with jealously!

Please, ignore their comments. YOU know that you're NOT a sl-ut, so don't bother yourself about what they think. Right now, you've got a miracle on the way, so you should be glad you've been blessed! Let's face it, it's not often girls get pregnant and the guy stays with them, at this age. Offering so much support and love. You know what I mean? All in all, the positives of this really outweigh those jealous girls.

I think you're a very down-to-earth person. Ignore those b!tches, seriously. :) It's all about you, your boyfriend and your future ahead of you now. What a lucky baby! I'm sure you's both will make wonderful parents.

Best of luck! ^_^

[MaryMagdalin]

i know how korean girls can get
hold your head up HIGH
they want to smash you down and ridicule you
im pro-choice and im proud you decided what you did ( i wouldnt be that strong)
your bf seems like a great guy
if you dont care what they think, then dont care about it.
yes it hurts, but all the love you will receive will far outweigh
i wish you luck!

[kylk]

Korean-korean girls are so bi_tchy. *sniff*
But all-in-all it sounds like you're coping well. You're a very strong person!
You're boyfriend is so sweet <3. You're an amazing person to have someone equally as amazing by your side!
Gosh both of you sound so... awesome. For getting through with this situation and everything.
You sound like such a great person.

As long you know you're not a wh0re (which you're not!) and all the people who are close to you know you're not, don't worry about what other people have to say. They're the ones with no lives to make up lies about other people. And with those unnis you know... It's sad to see that they are making judgements about you without knowing who you really are, but again. Their loss for losing their chance to know a great person, i.e you.

Your baby is going to be an amazing person like you and your boyfriend
Wish you well for the future! I'll pray for you. ><
Stay strong and God bless.

[terrorist]

i really like the fact that you took this situation in a mature way.
of course this could of been avoided.

but you are still very young to be pregnant.
the best thing you and your bf can do is
tell everyone you are both getting married and love each other.

this way the negative rumors will hopefully subside.

[muffinx3]

Congrats!
I'm happy that mostly everything is turning out well for you! :]

You're better than those sh*t talking Korean girls! They're just jealous that you have such a good thing going for you in such a situation.
I know it's hard, but just stay in your own little bubble with your soon to be husband and ignore all those stupid comments/remarks that they make.
Don't stress about it, being in bad moods is bad for the baby. Those girls are just ignorant and want to bring you down to their level. It's not your fault that the condom didn't work. :/ Eventually those girls will get over it.

Be happy and smile! Stay strong. :]
I wish you the best of luck. <3

[sefure]

i have nothing good to say about you, so i'll stop here..