[HikariJung]

Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts:

* "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

* "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

* "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

* "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

* "The patient refused an autopsy."

* "The patient has no past history of suicides."

* "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

* "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

* "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

* "She is numb from her toes down."

* "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

* "The skin was moist and dry."

* "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

* "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."

* "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."

* "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."

* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

* "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

* "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."

* "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

* "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

* "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."

* "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

* "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."


lolz
I like this one : "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

[faithpuppy]

haha, "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993" dry!
"The patient refused an autopsy."
"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches." love the oxymoron

[&. crepuscular]

are these real? o___O

[mystified]

"The patient refused an autopsy." ... how is this possible again? xD
"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed." <- sounds kinda wrong... u'd know what i mean if you understand canto and know the other meaning of 'airplane'

"The patient has no past history of suicides." <- my favourite lolz

thanks for sharing!

[Honey.bee]

Haha, these are hilarious. But I kept on wondering if they are real..

[tiffanitrix]

wow.
i'm glad medical school is so easy to get into. -.-
makes me wonder about my doctor. lol

[starrie]

* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
Hahaha oh so mean. :<

[princesseunice]

lols. these are so funny.
"The patient refused an autopsy." love that one:)

[japjoong]

to tell you honestly...i can't understand anything !!!!

[meimei__KOUSEKI]

"She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

lol xD all of these are very funny

[Xilenir]

And this confirms that no one actually looks at MCAT Writing Samples!



"Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days"

GG. Wonder if this one is true though, I cannot think of any condition that can give a 40 pound weight gain in 72 hours.



"The patient refused an autopsy."

Hopefully noted post mortem by a pathologist, otherwise it can't be good for the patient's prognosis.

[meilove]

if these are real...dang...bad doctors

[JeSuisMoi]

Heh my prof read this to my class at the beginning of the semester, and she said that these are, in fact, real. But I have my doubts, considering it's the internet and all lol

[Mimsers]

"The skin was moist and dry."

IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!? O_O
Wow, they're real?
I wanna know how to make my skin moist and dry.

[charmedamethyst]

Hahaha, they need to take grammar and writing classes.

[polariis]

LOL these are pretty funny! Surprised that someone else could actually read the charts, doctors' writing are sometimes quite illegible =S

[`kai]

Haha these were pretty funny... xD

* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."
XDDDD

[<3*gabbss.;]

* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
^^ lmao wtf

* "She is numb from her toes down."
^^ lmao what else are there after our toes?

[killjoys]

awww man
I'm reading this after watching the last episode of scrubs T^T

[AhYee]

* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."
* "The patient refused an autopsy."
* "The patient has no past history of suicides."
* "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."
* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
* "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."
* "She is numb from her toes down."
* "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."
* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."
* "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

I LOLed at these ones. Nicely written doctors