[RE.]

Previous Thread


Here's a Brief History for those who doesn't want to read a lot:

-Broke up almost 3 years ago
-Talked only a handful of times (mostly her initiating)
-Yes i've talked, dated, and gotten laid after the breakup
-Last time i talked/saw her was in 12/30?
-Since then i deleted her # with the intention of removing all memories

Now the update:
On 4/26
i get a text "Hi Stranger. Thinking about you"
Me: "Uh who's this?"

On 5/6
Her: "I see you've deleted my #. I'm highly offended. Especially since your dream catcher is right above my bed and everyday someone asks me about it."
Me: "Everyday? Exaggerate much?"
Her: "To say the least, couple times a week. Everyone is intrigued by how big it is"
Me: "Big dream catcher for big dreams... or big person"
Her: "Will you save my number"

i wanted to respond with "why? because we're friends? we haven't been friends in years" But i just let it be and haven't responded

Now all these mixed emotions are coming up all over again. I know that within a week or two, ill be good. However, what i want is to be able to move on for good and if we ever run into each other, my mixed emotions wont appear. 3 years is long enough I don't know what else to do.

Anyone have that one person that is their kryptonite?

[Amaranthine Memories]

Don't fall for her. You guys havn't talked in a long time and she just randomly comes out of nowhere. She's probably bored and just playin with you... Thats what i think.

[[HyuNi]]

I think it's ok to ask her why she's keeping in contact with you or tell her not to call you anymore, but be respectful.
There's no reason to be rude and hurt her.

[ny-sw / ny_sw.]

Ahhh, that kryptonite.
I don't know what to do about it either, man, even though it's only been a year.. andd now we live in the same city again. so.
Stay friends and just don't worry too much about it, it won't do any good. She probably feels bad about losing contact - my ex did too so now he's actually talking to me now..

[aiyan]

Maybe she legitimately misses you.

But I would take this sign with a grain of salt. Ask her why she wants to be in contact with you again. Like someone posted, be respectful. If her answer is not one you like, just move on and ignore her texts.

[vickstahs]

I agree with everyone who's suggested that you ask her why she's in contact again; in a polite tone, of course. But she can't blame you for being cautious about it. GL

vickstahs

[SKINNY_GENES]

did you like her more in the relationship? if that's the case, then she just misses that attention/affection she received, not necessarily YOU. and obviously you're not over her since you're having mixed emotions about this.


i say, get over it, and move on with your life.

[heechuls]

Honestly, everyone has that one person that they always fall back for.
If you're having doubts, really I think you should just try and forget them, and block all contact from them.
Obviously it's getting to you, and it seems kind of like they're maybe playing games with you?
No one wants that kind of toxicity.
Like has been said before, I would take this with a grain of salt. Be skeptical, it can really pay off. No one wants to get back into something that will only deepen their difficulty moving on, right?

Find out what her motives are, and act accordingly!

I hope I helped D:

[RE.]

her motives? well i believe that she's just curious on how life is treating me. I'm not thinking much more because she now lives 1,400 miles away.

did you like her more in the relationship? if that's the case, then she just misses that attention/affection she received, not necessarily YOU. and obviously you're not over her since you're having mixed emotions about this.


i say, get over it, and move on with your life.

well we were in a loving relationship. I couldn't really gauge how intense her love for me was, but i felt that it was equal or slightly more on my side.

There lies the problem. For some reason i can't move on since i constantly have mixed emotions whenever she contacts me. I would be fine and live life as a "bachelor" for 6th months or so, but one little message from her can stir up all these mix emotions. After 3 years one would be able to move on huh?

[ANJEE<3]

follow the quote in your sig by bryant


"enough is enough"... and honestly just tell her that no you will not save her number..
and if you can't be that straight up about it.. just ignore it and ignore her if she tries to make contact again

but i recommend you just telling her that you don't want to be friends or see her if she gets too persistent

[mintcracker]

maybe try to block her number?
I mean if you ask why she's contacting you she won't be like I MISS YOU
even if she feels like that, she'll just be most likely saying sth like 'just wondering how you were' and stuff



distance is key. Out of sight, out of mind isn't completely true BUT it does help so see if you can block her number.

[SKINNY_GENES]

her motives? well i believe that she's just curious on how life is treating me. I'm not thinking much more because she now lives 1,400 miles away.



well we were in a loving relationship. I couldn't really gauge how intense her love for me was, but i felt that it was equal or slightly more on my side.

There lies the problem. For some reason i can't move on since i constantly have mixed emotions whenever she contacts me. I would be fine and live life as a "bachelor" for 6th months or so, but one little message from her can stir up all these mix emotions. After 3 years one would be able to move on huh?

well it's obvious you're not over her. or in my opinion, you're not over the fact that your so called "loving relationship" ended. people say that you cant help who you fall for, and yes, everyone's a victim of this tragedy at one point in his or her life. however, these "feelings" you're feeling... are just temporary. from my experience and also from observing my peers' relationships and what not, once that "loving relationship" you had with someone you "loved" comes to an end, you subconsciously build a wall----a wall that's not penetrable by outside sources (whether they be new potential lovers, new friends, new opportunities, etc) because you're still very trapped in that MOMENT of such "feelings." you miss that feeling of having someone to talk to, to care about, to make love to, etc---you just miss having that special someone in your life. you miss that sense of security and stability a loving relationship gave you.

and let me tell you this. blocking someone's number won't really do much in terms of getting over someone if you're still thinking about the person. forcing yourself to NOT think about her is just as equivalent to thinking about her. you're still very much thinking about her by not letting yourself think about her... get my drift? either way, she's still in your thoughts.

ultimately, it comes down to one thing: you don't know what you want.

[iLt.]

As much as we can offer advice on what you should do,
in the end you won't be able to help how you feel about her.

It won't matter what we say, if you've already fallen for her so hard... love like that is hard to overturn with only a few words from strangers.

You live, you learn. In the end, it's up to you to make those decisions about whether to approach her or not...
the question is, are you prepared to accept what might face if things do/don't turn out well?

Good luck, hope it turns out well for you and her.

[RE.]

wow, you're correct from me putting up a wall to not knowing what i want. It's hard to feel confident in my decisions when there are moments where my subconscious produces her in my dreams; constantly reminding me of the emotions.

As much as we can offer advice on what you should do,
in the end you won't be able to help how you feel about her.

It won't matter what we say, if you've already fallen for her so hard... love like that is hard to overturn with only a few words from strangers.

You live, you learn. In the end, it's up to you to make those decisions about whether to approach her or not...
the question is, are you prepared to accept what might face if things do/don't turn out well?

Good luck, hope it turns out well for you and her.

True, a few words from strangers most likely wont change anything. I can't help but be optimistic that a stranger can provide a solution to this situation

A part of me want to voice that i can't be her friend because after 3 years and 1,400 miles, she'll always be that special person to me. Yet in the end, I have too much pride to convey that kind of message.

[,astrolicious]

Maybe she just wants to be friends.
Who knows?

I'm not going to say much because I agree with most of the people here.
But no matter what, don't fall back again.
It'll be hard but you can overcome it.
Maybe you'll guys will be really good friends after you've figured things out.
Good luck! =]

[heheimawesome]

learn from the past. if this is not the first time she's done stuff like this then remember what happened before and learn from it that she's probably just a flirt. some girls say incredibly misleading things and have no idea what their doing. you just gotta learn that they are naturally just flirty.


but if it is the first time, give it a shot. if you still like her.