[C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]]

So my boyfriend and I are pretty serious?
I don't know, I still consider us pretty young (19 years old).

Anyway, right now, I am a finance major at a university.
My boyfriend is in a community college, but is transferring to a university.

His dream is to go into music.
He wants to compose, sing, play -- be a musician.
Or, even if he has to teach music in a high school.
And I think he can make it. He has the talent.
Music is his life, and he loves it.

His first plan was to stay one semester at the community college and get his general courses out of the way. (he saves money that way)
Then transfer to Berklee College of Music. (It's where John Mayor and I think Brian or Eru went?)
He got in, and he was set.
But then things happened at home, and he ended up not going to Berklee, which is why he is still in the community college.

Anyway, in the midst of deciding his future and which college he wants to go to, all of a sudden he decided he wanted to go into nursing.
And I know now my parents will really like him because his future is set. (they were iffy about him going to music)
Which means, less arguments with my mom, and her accepting him more.

But ... for some reason, when he said he was going into nursing, my heart just ... dropped.
I was shocked. I don't know why.
I thought I'd be happy for him, because now his future is set, he can have financial security, he won't have to worry about being a starving musician anymore.
And if we ever did get married, I know we'd be ballin' (lol)

But music is such a big part of him ... and him giving up, makes me so sad.
I didn't tell him how I felt, and I just said I'd support whatever decision he makes.
He seems pretty set on his nursing plan.

So, I guess my point is, should I tell him how I really feel?
I mean, I already know he's heartbroken that music is now out of his life.
But there's a part of me that really wants him to just be ambitious and go for his dreams.
I don't know ... I guess this post was more to get it off my chest.
Because it is my boyfriend's choice, and I will support him.
My heart just feels heavy in doing so. :[

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

it doesnt mean he's giving it up, im sure he has some plans in his head. he's just pursuing nursing now, it doesnt mean it's forever. you guys are only 19, you can pursue so many things. it is good that he's looking for something more stable. he is balanced. people will hire nurses, it's an occupation in demand all the time. you can never just forget your passion like that if he is as talented as you say. just means he will pursue it later or wherever life takes him. i dont think it's a major issue though.

edit:oh and sure talk to him about it if you want.

[diana78]

i think you should talk to him about your concerns. just let him know your opinions. Tell him that you'll support whatever his decision is, but you hope he won't completely shut out music from his life b/c you love that side of him so much. Ask him why he decided to switch. There may be something going on that made him switch.

[ShadowMax76]

o-o' no way..... aha.. it's just that this story sounds so damn familiar...

_
a lot of musicians are advised [from actual musicians] to get a 'real' job and work on their music on the side. as a 'fall back' + something that funds musical needs.
x-x' i hear music is incredibly and insanely competitive and straining. so obviously just stepping into that world is daunting for anyone bright-eyed and hopeful.

it's like.. either have your dream, but not live it. or have it crushed.
that's how it feels.
sure you could say 'at least i tried', or continue trying, but it's like a spraining your ankle at the start of a marathon.

perhaps what could inspire him would be fellow musicians. friendly, non-egotistical ones at that. but

he'll continue playing and composing regardless of his nursing stuff. yeah? we all like to have a little dream on the side.

[AzizOnDeck]

I'm sorry that you feel that way but like you said it was a big part of his life and he probably did think about it for a while and just didn't tell you... Guys aren't that stupid to give up their biggest dreams to do something else without having to think about it for a while. Well, most guys do at least I think >.< Anyway, if you really think he's giving up his dream then talk to him about it but don't force him to get back into the music career he was originally trying to pursue and just tell him as he may already know that you're with him no matter what...

[angels.disguise]

why does music have to be out of his life?
why cant he do both? nursing will not take up his life & if
really enjoys doing it, then he should continue to do it.

& yeah i would give my 2 cents

[ajlee613]

you should not be defined by your job.

somtimes its better to keep a line between doing what you HAVE to do, and doing wat you want to do.

wat if after 20 years he wakes up one morning doesnt feel like playing music, but he is forced to and he forces himself to because its his source of income.

he slowly hates it, and part of him eventually dies. if he loves music he will always have it there. you'll go camping with him and ur kids he'll bring a guitar and u'll sing songs around a fire. etc.

if its wat he loves he will do it, one way or another. why does it matter if he gets paid for it or not?

i think ur heart dropped cuz u thought he was giving up on music, but that is just not the case.

[cowsie]

You should just tell him how you feel but do not influence him to change his major. The way I see it is that hobbies cannot be taken as to future major/jobs. It's hard especially for musicians to make a living, and only the lucky ones are lucky enough to make a lot of money. I'm sure he'll use his passion towards to music one day, but just not right now.

[ramenhero]

it doesn't seem that he's giving up on it, but maybe he feels like he wants to have something to lean on just in case... like nursing might be his fall back, and you never know... alot of people who choose to go for music sometimes just stumble upon it... do you get what im trying to say? lol

[mstar]

Let him know. Tell him that you don't want him to just suddenly give up something that is so important to him.

And on a perhaps related note, the movie June: The couple who was planning on adopting the baby-- the male had his whole music past.

And this one, is perhaps unrelated but: In a relationship, you should support each other. Not help each other. I hope that makes some sense.

[hippiehop]

Why not tell him? Nothing bad could come from it.

[5.mystline]

You should tell him before It's too late..

[lil_miss_kawaii]

Music isnt going to be completely out of his life
If he really truly loved it he wil still have it and try and pursue it

whether it be a composer.teacher.technician. or even playing music to patients to make them happy

He will always have it ~ i mean nursing is good because his future is set but dont be upset
You are going to feel like that because you always subconciously want them to do what they always want (in his case music)
but you should also support him 200% and be happy that he has his plans set out ~

You can always tell him how you feel ~ but try not to emphasise him "giving up music forever" ~ because he isnt
trust ~ i wanted to go into music but now im not but im still always going to have it
Dont worry about it ~ and anyway you are only 19 so things could end up changing!

[loudsilence]

You should tell him - it shows you care.

As long as time exists, few things are set in stone, as many have pointed out, he may just be tapping into a more financially feasible alternative first. Even if his current plan excludes any future formal musical education, perhaps along his nursing duties he'll run into someone who works at a record label who'll hook him up with studio time.

[The Pink Panda]

just because he is going into nursing doesn't mean that he is going to give up music altogether; I want to be an artist and instead I studied biological science for 3 years at university.. but I still managed to do a lot of art and get a lot of work published in that time. Be glad that he's choosing a "stable" subject for university, and encourage him to carry on with his music dream on the side

[tinyprincess]

Ask him about the sudden change of path, but don't pressure him into anything.
My boyfriend and I are are the same age as you too!
You should be happy that he has a sense of direction about his career.
My boyfriend still has no clue what he wants to do yet...

[naoto]

You couldn't influence him if you tried. My friend was in nursing and switched out after 3 years because she hated it. Let him do it, let him go through it, and if it's not for him then he will switch out. If it is, wonderful. You have to walk sometimes to know where you are going.

But your parents are right unless he's a really good musician he won't be making any money. I have another friend who wants to go into music and it's a joke honestly, the local jazz station is always saying how the beginning of a musical career is always tough. Being a teacher is okay but some people don't have the personality to do that either. Music is a tough career (and no offense to any musicians, speaking as someone who considered music and IS a pianist). I said tough, not low pay or worthless or degrading or something I look down on. It's just tough to make it big and that's the truth.

[shl979]

you know... he can do both. if he really likes music, he'll go for it. it's 2009, anyone can get 234121 masters deg.

[AhYee]

Share your thoughts with him, he'd really appreciate you thinking for him.
And the fact that you're sad over him not being able to do what he truly wants to do, he should be happy.
But it's not like he's cutting music completely out of his life.
Nursing isn't going to take up all his time, I know, I have a cousin that does nursing.
It's not going to be a big deal.