[bbyBoss]

First of all, I am bringing this topic up because my friend is torn about her situation.
But what I want to ask is, if you are Christian, are you dating a Christian person also, or a non-christian?
My friend's parents don't want her to date a non-christian because their faith always end in disasters apparently o_o

Personally I am not a religious person at all, and I don't believe in it. I just think if two people really like each other then why not try right?
I have no idea. I just want to ask for opinions on what people would do if you are religious {That you really love God} yet at the same time you have feelings for someone who isn't.

[Diverdent(=]

In the bible, it doesn't necessarily say don't date someone who isn't religious.
It's like if you open your heart enough to God, & he wants you two together, he'll find a way for you to make it work.

or at least that's what i think it is.

[ripredx]

It's generally encouraged that Christians date fellow Christians during and after college years.
Christian relationships with God are tentative and shaky at best because it's so hard to juggle
and maintain a relationship with God as well as with someone else. It's even harder especially knowing that
the person you're going out with is non-Christian because now that person's way of life will have a definite
impact on yours.

If she wants to maintain her faith, she can choose to obey her parents aka one of the Ten Commandments.
Questions like "Do I have the ability/maturity to handle this?" and "Will this relationship help glorify God?" help as guidelines.

If she really does feel something for this person, tell her to test the waters and see how things work out. God willing, He might be able to work things out as the above person said and maybe make him a believer.

That's all I have to offer

[boffrenzyy]

I've been born into a Christian family, and it's always been [kind of] looked down upon to date nonbelievers. This is by the church congregation, family members.. etc. My parents are just concerned that I will turn away from my faith even if THEY meet the guy and feel that he has the right intentions.

I've dated a couple of nonbelievers, and I don't think it's wrong at all to be in a relationship with someone you enjoy being around. In this case, (after my parents have nagged constantly asking if I've made the right decision) my parents finally give up and try to lure the guy into coming to church, haha. They were probably the ones that scared all of my boyfriends away..

In reality, I think the whole dating nonbeliever thing in christian society is merely just a personal idea. Like my parents, other parents may feel that things like this can't be "tolerated" within their children, but eventually, they'll fall through.

Best of luck to your friend!

[sososorri]

ripredx said it perfectly
it is not a commandment for christians to only date other christians.
however it is strongly advised.

like ripredx said, normally younger christians are quite shaky in their faith and dating a non-christian most of the time leads to one straying away from their faith, due to influence of their s/o. we believe that a strong foundational relationship with God is necessary before dating another, and if that other is christian, he/she should, if he/she is a christian too, be in pursuit of a relationship with God and you will be able to build each other up.

i think more so in asian families is this more emphasized.
asian families are very specific in the people their children date,
being christian is just another quality/law that asian parents require to see in their children.
i see it all around me. haha

[time_out]

First of all, I'm a non-christian. but i do seldomly attend church.
my guyfriend goes to church. and have a strong faith towards god.
so one day, we were having a conversation about relationship.as in what kind of people we would consider dating.
and I asked him if he will onli date christian girls or whether he's open to non-christian as well.
and he told me that he would date/marry a non-christian girl, but onli if she's willing to go to church with him.etc.

=D so i guess it depends on the person.
I think wen a person opposes any relationship with a girl of different religion, he or she should re-analyze their faith.
Religion is a suggestion to how we should live our life, but shouldnt be a person's first priority.

[C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]]

I'm christian and pretty religious.
I love love love God :]

But unfortunately, yes, sometimes dating someone who is non-christian can bring down your faith, and I've experienced this first hand.
He was atheist, but we ended up dating anyway.
At first, it wasn't a big deal, but sooner or later, it was he who became my life and not God.
I started to get influenced negatively by him.
At one point, I abhorred going to church. I was tired of it, and I began to question my own faith in God.
I went from loving God to questioning everything about him.

But God saved me before it was too late :]
I was forced by my mom and pastor to go on this special retreat.
I didn't want to go, but in going I was saved.
That retreat turned me around 180. And I was once again loving God.

I tried to tell my boyfriend at the time about God, but he kept rejecting the idea.
Finally, I ended it. And honestly, I've grown much from that experience.

Now I am dating a Christian boyfriend.
We both struggle here and there, but it's good to know someone is by your side and can help pick you up when you don't have to strength to yourself.

But like other people posted, sometimes dating non-christians can work.
I know many couples where one is a strong christian and the other is not.
It merely depends on the people.
But this is just a personal experience of mine, just fyi :]

Note: yeah, this post is just my belief, not saying everyone has to believe in God. But this is my personal experience, so please respect my opinion and personal beliefs in God. Thank you :]

[.:precious:.]

I am and in my religion we view it as a command to only marry christians because of this scripture that says do not become unevenly yoked with unbelivers. Anyways I am dating a guy whos not and I get so much heck from everyone but I couldnt care less because I love him way too much, and because Ive thought things through and I know im not being dumb... Lets just say im sure of myself

[aAa M aAa N D aAa]

Hi there.

the bible actually does talk about a christian marrying a non-christian. it actually forbids a christian from doing so.

2 Corinthians 6:14 states "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

And Paul, the author of the book, continues to go down that line saying how christians and non-christians have nothing in common (based in a spiritual sense) and only sin will follow.

The bible is pretty strict about relationships, but so many people don't read it enough to understand what it says.

Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

In other words, God is saying don't just hand your heart out to anyone. Hand it out to the one person who deserves it, and that is your spouse, not 50 other people. Just think of it this way. When in a relationship, how close to you get to the other person? The deeper in the relationship you go, the harder it is to break away. But if you ever break up, how do you feel? I am pretty sure heartbroken and distraught. And is what God did not want to happen. Our hearts are what keeps us going, keeps us strong, so we must guard it. It is what keeps us sane most of the time.

People nowadays just think getting in relationships is for fun. But that is not the way God intended it to be. Bouncing around from boyfriend to boyfriend, or girlfriend to girlfriend is not the way to go. Make every relationship count. Relationships are intended to find a spouse.

Getting in a relationship with a non-christian will surely cause every christian to stumble. They start making exceptions to Christianity, and soon, they are living a life apart from God.

Also, if your friend's parents tell her not to date a non-christian and she does, then she right there is sinning. She is not following her parent's commands, and is not obeying them. That goes against the commandment "honor your father and mother." - Exodus 20:20. Tell her to keep that in mind when she makes her decision.

Whatever your friend chooses, that is her decision. I can only give her advice through you on what to do. If for whatever reason you decide to not tell her what I wrote, I can't do anything about it. But if you do tell her what I wrote, then tell her I strongly urge her not to get in a relationship with a non-christian, and I have the bible to back me up on that statement.

[The Pink Panda]

I'm not a Christian, and I don't think I will ever consider dating a religious (and practicing) person. A devout Christian shold probably stick to being with another Christian to save a whole lot of hassle.

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

the bible actually does talk about a christian marrying a non-christian. it actually forbids a christian from doing so

We actually did this discussion not long ago in our church youth.
We never come up with the fact that the bible mentioned it, but even if it does, it is actually ok to date non-christian. Or even marry one.

But do take note that it is much more easier to fall than to go up.... as the old saying goes....... If one person is hanging on the cliff... it is much more easier to drop down with that person than to lift that person up.
But hey, if you are strong, you can lift that person easily. same thing, if your faith is strong, I'd say you won't get affected.

IMO it's not so much problem on dating, but it becomes more problem when you start to marry and have a family.

I mean, it is your life. When I was little, I thought that God already planned everything for us. That is actually true... but it becomes more clearer as I grew up. I learn that he gave us a choice, he doesn't just create our life and plan it
"Right, During your teen, you'll have many gf. You'll be smart. when you're older you're gonna be the richest bussinessman. on 50 you're gonna die because of Cancer"
Doesn't work like that...... he gave us a choice.....and we are certainly not wrong for Marrying/dating a non-christian. One girl in my church is on one right now, and she is one of the leaders of our youth..... so it is obviously not wrong to date non-christian, but it starts to be wrong when you start to fall down.

Note....... GOD, will not keep you as Christian if you don't want to. That is a bit hard to understand
but anyways, If you fall away from him, then oh well bang bang, not his problem.
so don't just say "Oh god allowed me with this person, even if he's not christian, I'm sure It will be OK for my faith"
If you're not willing to work, you will fall.
If you become non christian, God won't care. It's not his fault. He gave you a choice already.

Well that's what we learned, to sum it up

Also, if your friend's parents tell her not to date a non-christian and she does, then she right there is sinning. She is not following her parent's commands, and is not obeying them. That goes against the commandment "honor your father and mother." - Exodus 20:20. Tell her to keep that in mind when she makes her decision.

If we follow the whole thing on the bible, then we might as well lock ourselves in a room, because most of what people do on life are not obeying what the bible says anyway.

[Saywhut008]

I am also a Christian, and I was always told since I was young that if you're a Christian you should marry someone else that is a Christian as well. In a way it kind of makes sense if you're seriously religious. It may begin to bother you that your siginificant other does not care/want to participate in your faith if it is such a large part of you. It may feel that he/she does not want a part of you.

Anyways, with that being said, my boyfriend, when we started dating was NOT a Christian. He went to church ever Sunday with his mom, but when we first met, he did not believe in God really. Yes this did bug me, but I mean I was young (still am!) and I liked him, so I dated him anyway. My Aunt had some reservations about it, especially being that he wasn't a Christian, but she never suggested us to break up. She just told me to be careful. Whenever his mom (who IS a Christian) told us that we shouldn't be "unequally yoked" we just said "Well it's not like we're getting MARRIED or anything!"

But deep down it still bothered me, because what If we started dating for a while and marriage became a possibility? I did not want to marry someone who wasn't a Christian, but I felt like I was digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole, because the more I liked him the less I wanted to break up!

But eventually, we started to read the bible together, talk about God, have devotions...all that good stuff. I never forced my religion on to him...we didn't talk about it THAT MUCH to be honest. But one day, he decided to become a Christian. He assured me that it wasn't for me (lol, ain't he a sweetie?) but because he had given a lot of thought to whether God was real. So! Now we are of the same religion, and it feels better. We still may not get married (too soon to tell!) but its nice to be able to share the same beliefs/faith. For now, that's enough.

Also, I'm not Asian, so this happens in other families too.

[sososorri]

@ 한스 ㅋㅋ

um i kinda had to correct your one comment. "God doesn't care if you become a non-believer?"
like heck yes he does! God wants all of his children to come to know Him and his love, why in the world would he not care?
yes you will fall away, yes he gives us choice, but he does care!

off topic,
hopefully your friend makes the best choice for her life.

[Shuga]

2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

The Bible says not to be yoked with unbelievers, therefore saying you should not marry an unbeliever. Why? Put it this way.

The believer is standing on a chair. The chair is not a pedestal, being a "Christian" doesn't make you better than other people - it just puts you on a plane that is smaller than the rest of the world (who stand on the floor/ground). So the believer is standing on a chair.
The non-believer is on the ground.
If they are married - the two hold hands - isn't it easier to pull someone down to the ground level than pull someone up... letalone to that one single chair?

If two believers are 'yoked' together, in other words, married - they each have their separate chairs. They have set up their own firm foundations and they can work together to help each other pursue what is in their hearts - God. When two people stand on two separate chairs, they can hold each other and more than likely cannot pull the other to ground level - a position where believers don't want to be in because it denies God and represents an unbeliever.

What marriage is about is helping the other pursue what they have set out to pursue - and for a believer, it's God. By having two people each on the same chair-level, there is very little chance one can be an obstacle to their pursuit.

[imhitomi]

My family is Christian and my parents are very active in the church. I went to a private Christian school for 8 years and well...I am not religious at all. I think those years made me sick of religion.

My boyfriend is Christian and he doesn't care that I'm not religious. He accepts me for who I am and what I believe whether he agrees with it or not. That's what a good Christian does.

[babiesy]

it's not neccessarily that you we have to date other christians
i think that it's just easier because they understand where you're coming from and they have the same beliefs as you do. even if they're non christian but are accepting, it can still be hard because they may not fully understand certain things pertaining to your life that you may deem really important.

and from experience, i kinda find a slight truth in "faith ends in disaster" point. and that relationship was about 5 years ago, and as hard as i try, i still find that my faith is not the same as it used to be.

[sososorri]

@imhitomi

yes a good christian accepts you as you are,
we do that, we are not here to judge, if you have experienced that then im sorry that person was wrong.
however, we do accept you, does not mean that we have to go out with you.
if its one of our criteria that he/she must be christian in order to date them, so be it.

[evolution_]

I think it can work. One of my best friends isn't religious, but her boyfriend is. He's not hardcore religious though, which might be why it works. He believes and they leave it at that.

If you really love the person, I think you can make it work. Being agnostic, I wouldn't care if my SO was religious as long as he didn't try to force me to church or preach to me.

[nghister]

In my faith, we believe that it is good to live a good Christian lifestyle around those who are not of our faith. That way, they can see the Light of God through our everyday examples.

That said, my bf is not Christian (he's an atheist) and I truly believe he is a wonderful and caring person, so much more so than most Christians I know, including me. He devotes himself to being a good and honest person who takes care of the people around him and he does a great job. So really, I think a relationship works so long as the 2 people involved are good people, regardless of religion. =]

[Agashi]

I think it's better not to date a guy who's not christian, if your faith in God is not strong enough. And most likely the non-christian has to understand the morals that you stand for, without criticizing or condemning.

My mind is open to different races, but if he doesn't share my faith, then it doesn't go anywhere.


I struggled a bit, because I really liked a guy who was not christian.

But I know hinder my walk with God, if I date someone who's not christian.