[kittn]

ive been with my bf for over 3 years and we live together. it basically goes, if i want a hug, sex, go out, if i want too he says no. but as soon as i say "im going out with friends" or "no, you cant have me!" he wants. so he wants what he cant have.. and as much as this is annoying im not going to try and change him because its truly apart of who he is.

so i need help with the art of ignoring, how to say no, how to give him space so he wants me more, etc. without playing mind games. can anyone give me any suggestions?

i usually pick him up at work, (have stopped now), and i always cook him dinner... just little things like that. meh i hope ive explained everything ok v__V"

[heheimawesome]

.. do you want to deal with his games for the rest of your life? tell him to smarten up or dump him.. i dont think you want a husband that you gotta play mind games with still..

[kittn]

just dumping him isnt the solution.. when faced with problems in your relationship you cant just "dump someone" especially if you love someone and have a life with them!

[MNLV27]

If you don't want change him then why don't you just do the opposite of how you feel that way you get your way...
Like if you want to, then say you don't then you'll get it..
If you don't want to then say you do, and he won't want to do that..lol..

[plegend2007]

so i need help with the art of ignoring, how to say no, how to give him space so he wants me more, etc. without playing mind games. can anyone give me any suggestions?

Isn't what you're asking...Playing mind games

The thing I don't understand is why should you have to resort to such "games" to have your man do the things you want him to do. Like you said...You accept him as he is, so you don't want to change him, but then why should you change for him. Shouldn't both of you change for each other if things are in a rut.

Don't take what I say to heart, but instead talk to him, tell him what you want, ask him what he wants, and come up with a compromise that both of you will be satisfied with. By you playing that ignoring game will only be a temporary solution, and it won't last long. You will become frustrated again, so on and so on.

If he is unwilling to listen to you and compromise...Then you have to rethink your whole relationship in general.

I wish you luck.

[colloquy]

I see this is an issue of him receiving and you doing all the giving. Have you spoken to him about his concerns? If you have and he's still not listening, I don't think you should just dump him like a hot potato until you know for certain he's not truly willing to sacrifice something. It's good to communicate, but if your partner is poor at expressing him feelings... a lot of people are. Believe me, sometimes mind games are effective when employed properly, but I see you're not interested in those.