[HSuke]

My friend & I are having an argument about whether a woman should change her last name to match that of her husband. Should the wife keep her name or change it? If they have a child, whose last name should the child use (aka family name)?

When voting, please consider topics such as legal issues, cultural/society values, the evolution of modern society, equality, practicality, etc.

Thanks for your input.

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Edit: For the 2nd poll question, if you believe it's the wife decision, please choose "50/50, or mostly depends on the circumstances"

As Aziraphale points out, there's an older post on a similar topic. I will leave the link up here.

http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=251806

[i/boss/top]

im kind of traditional so i think that a woman should take her husbands last name and that the kids should have their fathers last name (im a female btw)...
my dad on the other hand is insisting that i combine my last name with my husbands when i get married since im the 'first' child. (im the first and only child from my parents but i have two younger half-brothers on my dads side)

[Phaze5ive]

I don't see why you wouldn't want to stick to tradition and change to the husband's last name. Or you can do the Hispanic thing and just tack on names after names after names.

[Mentos]

I'm traditional so I would change my last name to my husband's last name. Kids should take on the husband's last name. However, in Korea, the women keep their last names-- the children are the ones who take on the husband's last name.

[coreansurfer]

the wife should change the last name if she wants to, if she wants to keep her last name then she should.

[shotamerican]

^agreed.

i changed my last name cause i wanted to.
a woman should have the choice.

[MythnoonA]

Like Korean women, French women and many aboriginal women (in Southwest US, at least) keep their maiden names when they get married. They can be called 'Mrs_____', too--especially in France--but they still keep their original names, using them for legal documents and other things.

I'm not sure how often this is done in Japan anymore, but sometimes the men decided to take their wife's family name instead of the wife using his.

There's a bunch of other places where it's not always tradition for the wife to take her husband's name. There's a lot of people with blended names, or hyphenated names, etc.

[Aziraphale]

http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=251806

Let me know if I should merge since you have a poll.

[The Pink Panda]

My bf uses both his parent's names, but he sometimes just writes his mother's surname because it's easier to pronounce. I plan to give my child my surname or both mine and the fathers.... yeah not letting go of the family name that easily

[leejunkified]

In Spain women keep their family name after married, and then pass it on as a second last name to the kids... like, if she´s Ms Garcia and the husban is Mr Perez, the kid would be Perez Garcia. Makes total sense to me.

[shotamerican]

japan still has the tradition of the wife taking the man's last name. but i've met many who decided to stick with their own.

[joogrlpekaun]

I'd prefer to do what my mother did and keep my maiden name if I marry. It's my name, I like it, and I'm not especially interested in giving it up. Let my husband have the kids' names or combine our two names Hispanic-style, but I'll keep mine, thanks. It's not even just a sentimental thing, either. If you change your name, it makes your name unrecognizable to anyone from your past who doesn't get the memo about the change, such as an old friend with whom you've fallen out of touch, and it requires a bit of work on the legal side, too. And then what if I divorce (not that I want that, obviously)? Do I really want to have to either be left with a former husband's name or have to change my name all over again? Keeping her maiden name has had advantages for my mother. I hope my own husband, should I ever have one, will be as understanding as my father was and understand that not wanting to take his name doesn't mean I don't still want to feel like one with him and doesn't mean I'm already planning for a potential split.


In general, I don't think there is any one way it "should" be. It's up to the couple to work out what name(s) the kid(s) get and whether the wife takes her husband's name or not.

[Shmindy]

As far as the family last name, I think it should be up to the two people in a relationship.
For a woman taking her husbands last name, it should be up to the woman. Traditional in the American sense: she would take her husband's last name.Traditional in the Korean sense: a woman keeps her last name.
In either case why isn't there an option for the husband to take his wife's name in this poll? Personally all my friends husbands have insisted that their wives take their last name not caring what her customs or traditions are (also my friends whom I am speaking abour come from many different cultures and ethnicities, some of which the name is added, some where names aren't changed, and some where the sife takes the husbands surname).

[bunnywink]

I've never really thought about this! I guess I would take my husband's last name... Just because that's been the norm in both his family and mine. I don't see anything wrong with keeping your last name or combining the two though, it's just a personal preference.

[Temoin la Nuit]

The wife should take her husband's name, and the children should inherit the male family name.. this is 95% the case.

Only exception is when the husband marries into the wife's family.. either a huge difference in wealth, status, or renown. Or if the wife's name is already famous.. for example, no one expected Miuccia to take her husband's name.

[munto]

A woman should be able to chose. Your name is part of your identity, it should be something you want to change. Personally I would not change my last name, and my family always combine last name for the kids.

[My Sweet September]

It....doesn't really matter? I'll take my fiance's last name, because I don't like my last name, and it's tradition. But maybe if my parents had not had a boy, I'd keep my last name, so our name wouldn't be obscured from history....

[lenda]

I prefer the traditional way... changing to the husband's name. Since I don't have a middle name, I would change my last name as my middle name and add his.

[AngieK]

Save yourself the trouble, only date people with your last name.

"It's not you...it's your last name."

=)




And in all seriousness it really depends on the case. Different cultures, different scenarios. Ultimately the two people will have to talk it out and come to some agreement.

[somegirl]

I personally think the decision should be made with you and your s/o. Honestly, I wouldn't mind changing names, but if I have to change my last name, I'm also going to change my first name ( to a different version of my given name). Then, nobody would be able to recognize me.