[dahl gee]

I'm completely lost.. and losing my mind thinking about it...Never knew to be in a relationship would consist of these problems.. and to overthink... My boyfriend and I were having problems before... I would be straight foward and tell him whats on my mind... at times. Or I would be moody and not tell him the reasons for being mad... But i don't want to keep bringing up things cause I know for sure that would annoy him. Cant help my how i feel though. We have been dating 4 months now.. and recently he has changed his status on his myspace and facebook... But when he did... he deleted his best girl friend.. which made it seem weird... and since i had a feeling he liked her along time ago.. and who knows he still does?

What really threw me of was after a week he adds her back.. and randomizes his friends so i wont be showing on top... its pretty obvious.... I didnt want to bring it up online or through txting so Ive waited till friday when i see him to talk about it. I went to him... and he saw that something was wrong... and i kinda made it obvious i wanted to bring up breaking up.. cause he effects my emotions so much.. Because of him I went into depression for 4 days without eating as well... all because he was being a jerk... So we talk about it.. to long to type it all out.. but all i can say is i wasnt really content with the answers frm him.. I directly asked him looking at him in his eyes... Do you love another girl back home? I told him if he was with me to pass his time and using me for substitute for his loneliness. In his eyes i can see that fierce... Something in my heart told me he was telling the truth ....

so the weekend I stay with him and we just enjoy our time together... On sunday we go to the train station to wait for my train... He has leave on july to go back to alabama for a week... when we were fisrt dating he asked me to go to his hometown and meet all his family.. his family even wanted to meet me... but all of a sudden he asked if i really wanted to go like he was expecting me to say no.. so i asked if he really wanted me to go or not.. he just said it doesnt matter which made me mad.. cause i told him before i would go.... and on that sunday i ask him.. Am i really not going with you... he directly says No... I ask him.. whats the reason.. He says One day im mad the next day im happy he doesn't know what to expect of me.. and like how i came on friday to break up with him ... and he says everytime Im mad at him it seems like im expecting him to beg forgivness for the reasons he doesnt know what he did wrong.. and like im seeking for him to say things i want to hear when im mad.... THAT pissed me off.... THAT guys clearly explains.. that a guy has no interest in you... isnt it??? because if he really did love me... how could he say that? or am i wrong to think it was wrong of him to say that? My reason is.. if a guy really loves you... wether ur mad or not.. he would accpet you for who u and try to deal with it.... he even said when im mad.. hes not going to try and fix it... he says hes going to let me be...

He tells me he loves me ... and i partly do believe that .. or there wouldnt be a relationship.... im thinking.. is it my fault for being like that? and just let what he said? my guy cousin told me.. a man should never say something like that to a girl its in the rule book.. and if a guy says thats hes eventually clearly saying... he has lost interest... cause i don't matter... but i thought it was ok cause.. isnt relationship both couples look at the wrong accept each others thoughts and understand? ... well i am.. but i dont think he is... but that is why im respecting what he says//... ughh ....

Is he a prick? should i lose him and save myself frm hurt... either way i'll be hurt cause honestly the reason why im holding on is cause frm the guys ive dated he just gives me a different feeling..something no other guy can replace...

[azurette]

Ughhh, something similar happened with me and my ex right before we broke up.
At first, he was eager, then he wasn't...
I think it's possible he lost interest. If so, dump his ass asap.
I regret not following my gut instinct.

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

wow...................how inconsiderate can you be?

just because he voices what's wrong then he doesnt love you? i can see why he feels the way he feels. how can there be a relationship without communication? he's already telling you what's wrong and you say that he should just deal with it?

i think your way of thinking of what love should be is pretty distorted.....hope dramas and movies didnt contribute to that.

[colloquy]

Agreed with the above. I think that at this point you're unable to communicate properly. Talk to your boyfriend. Just because he said those things definitely doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's trying to tell you what he finds difficult in the relationship. Your guy cousin is talking out of his butt, there is no 'rulebook' and if there was, it probably wouldn't violate it. I personally think that you're being too dramatic and you need to come back to earth, try to think about things reasonably. The topic thread title is also not true... don' tell me you think like that.

As for your question, I don't think he's a prick. If you have the feeling he's different from the other guys, try to hold on tighter and fix this.

[tubbycheeks]

Hey,

I actually broke up with my bf few days ago because of a similar issue. He never invites me out with his uni friends and I absolutely hate one of his female friends from uni. He knows it kills me inside when he does see her but his not willing to stop seeing her even when I put our relationship on the table. I was crying really hard and he says "I don't care what you think, but we're gonna work on our assignments together..", that there broke my heart to bits and is probably something I can never forgive...

So I think you're right... if a guy loves you, he should tolerate you even though you may act out to be unreasonable sometimes because the only reason you're still fighting or arguing with him is because you still love and care about this relationship. I think what you need to do is open up and talk to him about your problems. If he isn't willing to come up with a solution or he still thinks you're being unreasonable then screw him! I think you're feelings should come first before anything else.

[muffinx3]

I don't understand...

So you think that because he says that when you're angry it seems like you expect him to beg forgiveness, it means he doesn't like you?
Girl, you got it all backwards.
He was just telling you how he felt... What's wrong with that?

And you wanted to break up with him because you SUSPECTED something...?
Clearly something is wrong with your logic.

I think you need to stop being overly emotional and calm down.
He'll probably get sick of you soon if you keep this up. No joke.

[Chlorate]

ur just a typical girl
girls get mad at their bf over no reason or a stupid matter.
thing is,when YOU do something wrong,YOU ask for forgiveness.what ur bf is saying may be true.it seems like ur expecting him to come up to you all the time,hes tired of that..(MY FRIEND DOES THIS TO HER BF..LOL -___-)

but anyway, if you guys do love each other
you guys will eventually overcome this

[Saja]

no offence but seriously youre making things so damn complicated when it isnt... hey im getting a headache just reading your story imagine how your BF would feel.


i think theres a korean word for this problem ...Gongjoobyung...

[KareBear]

I never realized that it's wrong for a guy to tell his girlfriend how he felt. No offense but haven't you been acting out and saying whatever you want regardless of how he felt? Truth be told, you are hurting your boyfriend as much as you are hurting yourself...That's why he spoke out- it's his way of saying "You're hurting me too. I'm getting so sick and tired of being accused of hurting you when you wouldn't even tell me why so I can avoid making the same mistake again!" If he didn't care he would've been "w/e. She's upset, I'll just say sorry and play along" because that just shows he doesn't care how he hurt you and wouldn't care if he did it again.

If you want your relationship to work you then you should try to calm down and question "is this worth all the fighting and shouting?" If he gives off a different feeling from the rest of the guys then you have to really look at the problem and realize that it's partly your fault. Talk to him and learn how you can fix the problem.

[Stevent]

Since when did having your significant other as one of your top friends or even list that you're in a relationship with someone on a social network play a important role in a relationship? Some people don't do those kinds of things because they would like to keep their lives PRIVATE. Rather than having someone question you "what happened?" or "who's the girl/guy?" every time you update your status.

Honestly, you're blowing this all out of proportion. You're taking the whole myspace/facebook thing way out of hand. You even said so yourself that you have mood swings, so you can't really blame him for what he said about you being mad one moment and calm the next. What if he does bring you home to his family and you have a temper tantrum, not really the best way to impress someone's folks.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but not every guy will say the things you would want to hear. You would get that 100% of the time in fairy tales. Hell we can't even tell when you're mad about us or about something else 1/4 of the time. Some times even when we do figure out that you girls are mad, we do nothing but let you cool off. We're afraid if we say something or do something, it'll probably just offset something and direct even more fury towards us

What rule book are you speaking of?

In a relationship, a majority of it is based on communication, compromise, and understanding. You need to understand that leaving things the way they are when you are mad is his form of solving a situation.

[bboyKdash]

Since when did having your significant other as one of your top friends or even list that you're in a relationship with someone on a social network play a important role in a relationship? Some people don't do those kinds of things because they would like to keep their lives PRIVATE. Rather than having someone question you "what happened?" or "who's the girl/guy?" every time you update your status.

Honestly, you're blowing this all out of proportion. You're taking the whole myspace/facebook thing way out of hand. You even said so yourself that you have mood swings, so you can't really blame him for what he said about you being mad one moment and calm the next. What if he does bring you home to his family and you have a temper tantrum, not really the best way to impress someone's folks.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but not every guy will say the things you would want to hear. You would get that 100% of the time in fairy tales. Hell we can't even tell when you're mad about us or about something else 1/4 of the time. Some times even when we do figure out that you girls are mad, we do nothing but let you cool off. We're afraid if we say something or do something, it'll probably just offset something and direct even more fury towards us

What rule book are you speaking of?

In a relationship, a majority of it is based on communication, compromise, and understanding. You need to understand that leaving things the way they are when you are mad is his form of solving a situation.

indeed that is true, but also there is the life of a gentlemen.
As you can see each person has a different way of expressing themselves.
Those temper tantrums arise, why? because that douche has made them arise.
If she had felt safe and comfortable with her S.O. then wouldn't it have made more sense if she was happy all the time?
If that was the case she would not need to be depressed for days on end.
Depression arises from one thing, when something doesn't go as how it was expected to be.
To me, in a relationship, expectations are needed. That rule book is indeed there.
The rule of being a gentlemen my man [=

[Stevent]

indeed that is true, but also there is the life of a gentlemen.
As you can see each person has a different way of expressing themselves.
Those temper tantrums arise, why? because that douche has made them arise.
If she had felt safe and comfortable with her S.O. then wouldn't it have made more sense if she was happy all the time?
If that was the case she would not need to be depressed for days on end.
Depression arises from one thing, when something doesn't go as how it was expected to be.
To me, in a relationship, expectations are needed. That rule book is indeed there.
The rule of being a gentlemen my man [=

The life of a gentlemen as you say is something farfetched. Something that was construed way back when from an ideology, but it was based on someone's ideology, from someone's belief of how one should act. But you have a mind and can think for yourself on how you want to act, not based on someone else's belief. The problem is, the guy didn't make those problems arise, yet it is the OP that has blown it out of proportion and has created an even bigger stress upon herself from something so trivial. If she had felt safe and comfortable around her S.O. in the first place then she would have been able to understand where he is coming from with his response. And it seems as though there was a trust issue since she DID question whether he liked a different girl and she wasn't 100% sure and there was no proof provide that he has feelings for someone else. If depression arises when something doesn't go the way we expect it to be, than there would be a world wide depression, but there isn't. When something doesn't go our way, we know that tomorrow is new day. Of course expectations are needed in a relationship, but when one guy blatantly say that he won't be one of those guys, than she needs to know when to lower those expectations. Rule book? Unless there is a physical copy, then no book

[bboyKdash]

The life of a gentlemen as you say is something farfetched. Something that was construed way back when from an ideology, but it was based on someone's ideology, from someone's belief of how one should act. But you have a mind and can think for yourself on how you want to act, not based on someone else's belief. The problem is, the guy didn't make those problems arise, yet it is the OP that has blown it out of proportion and has created an even bigger stress upon herself from something so trivial. If she had felt safe and comfortable around her S.O. in the first place then she would have been able to understand where he is coming from with his response. And it seems as though there was a trust issue since she DID question whether he liked a different girl and she wasn't 100% sure and there was no proof provide that he has feelings for someone else. If depression arises when something doesn't go the way we expect it to be, than there would be a world wide depression, but there isn't. When something doesn't go our way, we know that tomorrow is new day. Of course expectations are needed in a relationship, but when one guy blatantly say that he won't be one of those guys, than she needs to know when you lower those expectations. Rule book? Unless there is a physical copy, then no book

hahaha so you think it's farfetched? you sir, have not lived the life of a gentlemen i presume. There is no ideology, i myself, live like that everyday, It is my own belief that every man has the ability to become a gentlemen. You are true on how you want to act and feel, but would you seriosuly want to act like a douche and forever be single? i think not, as you can see that life tends to grow on the side of finding another. Trust is key, she would not have felt insecure if he had been totally honest with her from the start. If that hello kittyh had liked someone while he was dating her, why didn't he just confront her about it? Instead of going out of his way to make both their lives more complicated? Like you said everyone can act based on their own beliefs right? So did the TS, she acted upon how she felt and what she truly believed was the right thing in HER eyes. You say there is no world wide depression? Just look at this shiet hole of a place we call Earth, Economic recessions, global warming, phagbags of people we call our "justice" aka government. The rule book that I speak of is something called intuition, and unless you don't have any, then i would say you are straight up illiterate in life [=

[Stevent]

hahaha so you think it's farfetched? you sir, have not lived the life of a gentlemen i presume. There is no ideology, i myself, live like that everyday, It is my own belief that every man has the ability to become a gentlemen. You are true on how you want to act and feel, but would you seriosuly want to act like a douche and forever be single? i think not, as you can see that life tends to grow on the side of finding another. Trust is key, she would not have felt insecure if he had been totally honest with her from the start. If that hello kittyh had liked someone while he was dating her, why didn't he just confront her about it? Instead of going out of his way to make both their lives more complicated? Like you said everyone can act based on their own beliefs right? So did the TS, she acted upon how she felt and what she truly believed was the right thing in HER eyes. You say there is no world wide depression? Just look at this shiet hole of a place we call Earth, Economic recessions, global warming, phagbags of people we call our "justice" aka government. The rule book that I speak of is something called intuition, and unless you don't have any, then i would say you are straight up illiterate in life [=

Living the life of a gentlemen, can you really say that it is being a gentlemen, rather than by the means you set forth by your own beliefs? Every one has their own beliefs on how to act like a gentlemen and it may not fit in your criteria of being a gentlemen. I mean how a person acts may seem fine to them, but yet others may deem it as being a douche, so who is to really say if a person is a douche or a gentlemen? True that life is based on growing up, but that is irrelevant Who is to say he wasn't truthful to her from the very beginning, no one can really say that for sure unless the BF is to come in here and speak up for himself. It's also true that she did things based on what she felt is right, but she has to understand where he is coming from, and why his reasons for not bringing her along with him to his hometown. The things you listed as "depression" has their low moments and their high moments, just like everything else. The kinds of depression can be discussed else where besides in a L&R thread. You say that your rule book is based on your intuition, yet that is the same idea that everyone has a mind and can act for themselves on how they want to be. I don't get how any of this leads to me being illiterate in life

[bboyKdash]

Living the life of a gentlemen, can you really say that it is being a gentlemen, rather than by the means you set forth by your own beliefs? Every one has their own beliefs on how to act like a gentlemen and it may not fit in your criteria of being a gentlemen. I mean how a person acts may seem fine to them, but yet others may deem it as being a douche, so who is to really say if a person is a douche or a gentlemen? True that life is based on growing up, but that is irrelevant Who is to say he wasn't truthful to her from the very beginning, no one can really say that for sure unless the BF is to come in here and speak up for himself. It's also true that she did things based on what she felt is right, but she has to understand where he is coming from, and why his reasons for not bringing her along with him to his hometown. The things you listed as "depression" has their low moments and their high moments, just like everything else. The kinds of depression can be discussed else where besides in a L&R thread. You say that your rule book is based on your intuition, yet that is the same idea that everyone has a mind and can act for themselves on how they want to be. I don't get how any of this leads to me being illiterate in life

yea that's true aites bro, haaha that was fun so what's the plans for tomorrow? chillin again at state shooting pool? [= lol
i'm getting lazy to do this shiet

[Stevent]

LOL I guess. I say we go bowling this time, playing pool (even though im getting better) is kind of boring now lol. We gotta figure out what else to do LOL

[AhYee]

I agree with you when you say a boy should accept a girl for who she is if he likes her, and that couples should accept and understand the thoughts of each other. But my question to you is, why do you say he doesn't accept you when it seems as if you're the one not accepting what he's trying to say to you? I'm going to be harsh because I think you're being unreasonable.

So your boyfriend tells you what he thinks, yet you get mad at him because you're unhappy with his answers. Then you go and say he doesn't accept you for who you are? Hmm... I really don't think so. Okay, so you're upset, alright, I'll give that to you because you feel as if he's not understanding you. That's fair. I just think that you're complaining about something that isn't worth complaining about. And isn't it a bit ridiculous that a friggin social network can cause you to hint break up? Let's see... so my friend didn't put me on her top friends list. Should I stop being her friend? Honestly, get real, being on the top doesn't mean anything. And from that, I don't see how he is being a jerk. I'm sorry you went into depression and didn't eat for 4 days [which you shouldn't let happen in the first place. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others!] But the fact that you said you weren't satisfied with his answers make me agree with your boyfriend. It does seem like you're expecting answers from him... answers that you want to hear to make yourself feel better.

I'm glad you know he loves you [And be smart. Don't think he doesn't love you because he told you how he felt. Guys can be real straight up with you if he doesn't love you anymore, keep that in mind], and that's why you guys will be able to work things out with each other. I hope you do, because it doesn't seem like you can take another one of these little fights of yours. Besides, he wants you to meet his family. It was probably because he was getting a little bit tired of your 'mood swing' so he didn't feel like bringing you along? Just the fact that he wants you to meet the family already says a lot. Be happy that your boyfriend can be caring and loving to you. And if you feel this way with this boy, hold on to him. It may be hard for another to come by if you give him up. If he's not mentioning anything about a break up, then don't suspect anything.

And no, he's not being a prick. He's being truthful. You want truthfulness in relationships, don't you? Yeah, it can hurt you, but you're going to have to be stronger than this to last in a relationship. Um... grow up? And about your cousin's rule book. It would be a smart idea to screw that rule book.

[ShinAoshi]

If he really didn't care, then he wouldn't of told you how really felt.

[HaplessChild]

MySpace? Really? MYSPACE?!

You know what? You should dump this guy ASAP and save him the trouble of your nonsense.

[_Kelly]

Maybe he was fustrated with how you were so he said that to you or maybe he was moody, guys get moody sometimes too . I agree with the part where he would consider tolerating your unreasonable actions, and understand, but its not all his fault. I think you guys have a little communication problem, did you tlel him about why you got mad? about the part with his girl bestfreind? and about your insecureness towards him and that girl? If you said all that, then you wouldn't look like you were being unreasonable and getting mad/upset over nothing.

Trust is key, she would not have felt insecure if he had been totally honest with her from the start.

from a comment above. I agree, because it' what he did that made you feel this way. And feeling insecure can be so fustrating.