I've been with my bf for around a month. We have one class together and never hang out afterschool. It's because I have 9 periods of class and he has 8 so he leaves early. Actually, I'm not even sure if he leaves early, because sometimes he stays to hang out with his friends and eat.. but never bothers to wait for me. We've only had two dates with just the two of us alone. He always says hes tired when he gets home late, but it's because he spends too much time playing video games at an internet cafe or playing pool with his friends. I was really frustrated with our situation, so I talked about it with another guy, and now my bf is mad at me for talking to the other guy. My bf thinks that I have a thing with the other guy even though I've explained to him that we're only friends.
It also annoys me when I'm texting my friends and my bf tries to look at my conversations. I don't like it when anyone does that actually.. So I talked to my bf about the whole situation and he said he wasn't sure he he could make time for me. It's really upsetting to know that hes going around everyday playing games and pool but cant even spend a little time with me. This is how the conversation went:
Me- "Do you even like me anymore?"
Him- "I guess I'm a bit reluctant to spend more time with you, I'm not sure If i can commit to the relationship as much as you want me to."
Me- "So what do you want to do?"
Him- "Lets be friends?"
Me- "Is that what you want?"
Him- "No, not really"
Me- "What do you want then?!"
Him- "I know I cant give you want you want, sorry"
Me- "Lets put the relationship on hold then?"
Him- "Okay"
My Bf Never Has Time For Me even though he has time for his friends
#2
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:39 AM
You're abit clingy aint cha?
#3
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:42 AM
woooow... intense.
um, i dont know. sounds like he just likes to spend time with his friends... but he has to understand that as a boyfriend he should spend time with his girlfriend.......
my "best friend" completely ditched me when she got her first boyfriend....
but i guess it doesn't work the same way with males.
um, i dont know. sounds like he just likes to spend time with his friends... but he has to understand that as a boyfriend he should spend time with his girlfriend.......
my "best friend" completely ditched me when she got her first boyfriend....
but i guess it doesn't work the same way with males.
"When your feet aren't cold...
... your heart is."
... your heart is."
#5
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:43 AM
some guys are just like that?
maybe he's not that into you.
my ex was soo into games at the beginning of the relationship, i just played wow with him.
and it's been a month, maybe he's not used to it?
maybe he's not that into you.
my ex was soo into games at the beginning of the relationship, i just played wow with him.
and it's been a month, maybe he's not used to it?
"You'll know when you find the right one,
when you feel like you don't deserve them."
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when you feel like you don't deserve them."
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#6
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:43 AM
seems to me that your boyfriend has some commitment issues....
Does he seem interested in your conversations anymore? or is it answers you'd expect like 'okay or I'm not sure'?
to be honest all I see is that your boyfriend doesn't know how to put his...priorities in which are important in his life and which need to be lower in his life..
or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with relationships?
If he rather spend time with his friends mucking around then and doesn't think much of you IMO....he isn't worth it but if you love him enough to fix it..maybe sit him down somewhere quiet, talk about what relationship you both want in this? set boundaries or rules maybe? talk about the time factor which seems to upset you the most because time together is quite a big factor right?
but yeah there's my input...not sure if i was helpful or not....so...best of luck and i hope it works out >3<
Does he seem interested in your conversations anymore? or is it answers you'd expect like 'okay or I'm not sure'?
to be honest all I see is that your boyfriend doesn't know how to put his...priorities in which are important in his life and which need to be lower in his life..
or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with relationships?
If he rather spend time with his friends mucking around then and doesn't think much of you IMO....he isn't worth it but if you love him enough to fix it..maybe sit him down somewhere quiet, talk about what relationship you both want in this? set boundaries or rules maybe? talk about the time factor which seems to upset you the most because time together is quite a big factor right?
but yeah there's my input...not sure if i was helpful or not....so...best of luck and i hope it works out >3<
#7
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:50 AM
QUOTE (Uverstar @ May 12 2009, 07:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
seems to me that your boyfriend has some commitment issues....
Does he seem interested in your conversations anymore? or is it answers you'd expect like 'okay or I'm not sure'?
to be honest all I see is that your boyfriend doesn't know how to put his...priorities in which are important in his life and which need to be lower in his life..
or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with relationships?
If he rather spend time with his friends mucking around then and doesn't think much of you IMO....he isn't worth it but if you love him enough to fix it..maybe sit him down somewhere quiet, talk about what relationship you both want in this? set boundaries or rules maybe? talk about the time factor which seems to upset you the most because time together is quite a big factor right?
but yeah there's my input...not sure if i was helpful or not....so...best of luck and i hope it works out >3<
Does he seem interested in your conversations anymore? or is it answers you'd expect like 'okay or I'm not sure'?
to be honest all I see is that your boyfriend doesn't know how to put his...priorities in which are important in his life and which need to be lower in his life..
or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with relationships?
If he rather spend time with his friends mucking around then and doesn't think much of you IMO....he isn't worth it but if you love him enough to fix it..maybe sit him down somewhere quiet, talk about what relationship you both want in this? set boundaries or rules maybe? talk about the time factor which seems to upset you the most because time together is quite a big factor right?
but yeah there's my input...not sure if i was helpful or not....so...best of luck and i hope it works out >3<
He does seem interested in our conversations when its just the two of us.. if he's with his friends, he'll get distracted and suddenly start talking to his friends. His last relationship lasted 6 months, but it was long distance because his gf went to college... I guess hes inexperienced in terms of a regular relationship >.<
#8
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:57 AM
QUOTE (Serenity65 @ May 12 2009, 11:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He does seem interested in our conversations when its just the two of us.. if he's with his friends, he'll get distracted and suddenly start talking to his friends. His last relationship lasted 6 months, but it was long distance because his gf went to college... I guess hes inexperienced in terms of a regular relationship >.<
ah~ yeah long distant relationships..hah two totally different things sweetie haha
maintaining a long distant relationship would have been so comfortable for him considering he only had to use the phone or instant messaging haha
but anyway I think the advice I gave you is quite good in my opinion...if he doesn't wake up from his dopeyness of not spending time with you and being the proper boyfriend, you're going to lose him to his friends and gaming
I think you want this to work don't you? pull out all the um..stops for him, make the relationship hold on..
#9
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 09:05 AM
Sounds like he's a bad boyfriend.
#10
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 09:29 AM
Do you guys hang out during lunch/break? o.O When I was in high school, I didn't spend that much time with my-then-bf because he was also busy with his friends, but I got used to it after about 4 months lol. Guys are generally like that when their young. Once you get older [in college ish] you'll find that you spend more time with your significant other than friends.. well at least that's what I've noticed
#11
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 09:34 AM
He's not ready to be in a relationship right now. If he can't make time for you and prefer to spend all his time with friends or video games then he's no boyfriend material. If he's that free of a guy to make time for friends and video games everyday then it is not selfish or clingy that you would want him to make sometime once a week to spend time with you. He even admitted to you that he can't make time for you or be committed to it.
Just forget about him and move on. He's better as friends then boyfriend
Just forget about him and move on. He's better as friends then boyfriend
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#12
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 01:36 PM
compromise and if that don't work then its only been a month thats the learning period for everyone...chill im sure it'll work out! if not then find someone who will want to spend time with you!
Roses smell ...
#13
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 04:19 PM
The fact that he got mad at because you talk to another guy about your relationship and him peeping over your cell phone does seems like he's jealous. However, seeing your conversation with him, it does seem he's not ready to commit right now. Maybe he still haven't learn how to balance between friends and gf/bf relationship. And hon, most girl wants their bf to concentrate on them everyday, once a week is not clingy so don't worry about that. Since you guys are a break right now, just give him some time. If he doesn't come back to you or attemp to get back to you, then just move on.
#14
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 05:23 PM
You know what? that sounds EXACTLY like my boyfriend and i? his not worth it. you come first with his family. if he can't manage to do that, dump him
#15
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 07:36 PM
Did you ever try to include yourself in his after school activities? I mean when I went out with my first boyfriend, all he had time for was homework and tennis. He made time to see me , maybe thrice a week the most. I would be lucky to spend a full 20 minutes with him.
It does sound like your boyfriend has commitment issues.
It does sound like your boyfriend has commitment issues.
Nya Nya =3
#16
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 07:46 PM
he doesn't really take you seriously.. you can tell by the way he talks.
#17
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 08:14 PM
it sounds like he doesn't care.
i once met a guy like that...we never got together but...we confessed that we liked each other. he could never put in time for me. he would always tell me that hewould do something, then he wouldn't end up doing it.
a relationship or a friendship like that won't work out.
if you devote 100%, you deserve to get 100% back. If you devote 50%, you deserve to get 50% back.
sounds like your devoting more and he's not giving any or very little back.
invest your time in someone who will devote his time to you.
i once met a guy like that...we never got together but...we confessed that we liked each other. he could never put in time for me. he would always tell me that hewould do something, then he wouldn't end up doing it.
a relationship or a friendship like that won't work out.
if you devote 100%, you deserve to get 100% back. If you devote 50%, you deserve to get 50% back.
sounds like your devoting more and he's not giving any or very little back.
invest your time in someone who will devote his time to you.
sumos.
#18
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Posted 12 May 2009 - 08:27 PM
Am I correct to assume you two are in high school? Because that's what it sounds like.
Okay, your boyfriend seems to be the opposite of what 'normal' boyfriends would do, or what other 'normal' relationships would be like. For example, the first few months are extremely happy and sweet, but things start to die down after that happy phase. Now that's what I call normal. You see, people are in relationships because they want to be together, they want to acknowledge each other as their significant other. Well... your boyfriend doesn't seem like he wants to. I agree with what everyone else have already said; the fact that he's not ready to commit, or even ready for a relationship that he can handle. And it might just be better for the two of you to be friends for now instead of boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe in the future when you guys are older, and if you guys still like each other, take another stab at it. Things will definitely be different by then. I'm not going to say he's a bad boyfriend, because right now, it doesn't seem like you have a boyfriend with what you described. But I'm going to acknowledge the fact that he's straight up honest with you, telling you he knows he can't live up to what you want. Now that's what a good boyfriend should do. He's telling you to... er... lessen your disappointment, so it seems. At least you know now. I'm not sure if he's going to be worth your time. It's only been a month, not too hard to get over [just in case you really end things off]. Or you could give it some time?
Okay, your boyfriend seems to be the opposite of what 'normal' boyfriends would do, or what other 'normal' relationships would be like. For example, the first few months are extremely happy and sweet, but things start to die down after that happy phase. Now that's what I call normal. You see, people are in relationships because they want to be together, they want to acknowledge each other as their significant other. Well... your boyfriend doesn't seem like he wants to. I agree with what everyone else have already said; the fact that he's not ready to commit, or even ready for a relationship that he can handle. And it might just be better for the two of you to be friends for now instead of boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe in the future when you guys are older, and if you guys still like each other, take another stab at it. Things will definitely be different by then. I'm not going to say he's a bad boyfriend, because right now, it doesn't seem like you have a boyfriend with what you described. But I'm going to acknowledge the fact that he's straight up honest with you, telling you he knows he can't live up to what you want. Now that's what a good boyfriend should do. He's telling you to... er... lessen your disappointment, so it seems. At least you know now. I'm not sure if he's going to be worth your time. It's only been a month, not too hard to get over [just in case you really end things off]. Or you could give it some time?
#19
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Posted 13 May 2009 - 09:32 AM
girl just leave him..i think it mite be obvious that he isn't into u..esp. if he can stay after he's done w. school to hang w/ his friends and not wait for u..and that lil conversation should've told u that he's isn't ready to commit like u want him to or he's just not into u..find someone who's better..besides..it's only a month or so..i don't think that u're that attached..i'm sure u'll find someone better
SUPER JUNIOR <3 FOREVER
#20
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Posted 13 May 2009 - 09:38 AM
Wtf at the conversation. All I can say is... another stupid boy who cannot make up his mind. Like you either stay with eachother or don't. Simple as that. He's just making it complicating and you do realize putting your relationship "on hold" does mean going on a break, that or, you're gonna get lead on. But with the answer he's got, I would leave him. He sounds like he wants to leave you, but he's too scared to hurt you, so he's agreeing to pausing the relationship.
