[addicted2you]

Hi soompi! Ok, so I have been with my girlfriend since November, and we've been really good togethur. We fight sometimes but I think it's healthy because if we never fight the first fight we'd get in we'd break up. So recently I've been really busy I've gotten a new job and their working me hard. I no longer have weekends off, only sunday I have off, but they still ask me to work an average of about 4 hours on sunday but after that i'm free. Not only that but on 3 out of 5 weekdays I'm working too, and I also have to go to school.....
I'm really stressed lately and my girlfriend helps me feel better when I'm stressed, but I feel like a horrible boyfriend because we never spend time togethur.
Plus finals are coming up in my high school and there are a few classes that I am barely passing...... some that I have to do much better in or else I'll fail the year because I failed the first term


I've talked to her about a break already..... she said that she thinks a break will break us. I told her the break I wanted was from basically now until august because I will be attending summer school also....... Is it too long of a break? Will it break us? Are breaks a bad idea?

[moot11]

I break isn't necessary, just don't put so much pressure on yourself to be a "good" boyfriend. It sounds like your girlfriend will and should understand what you are going through. As for your question, a break may or may not break a relationship, but it may give you both some time to figure things out and start anew, if that is what you both choose.

Good luck!

[tjdabeast]

Bad idea if you want to stay with her. That's just allowing both of you to let your love ease/guard down for other freaky lurkers to make their move.

[your4everB]

I agree with the above user, tjdabeast. I feel that breaks are pretty close line to break up. It like if your idea works, you'll like each other more since you haven't been with each other. But at the same moment risk another person that could come and swept her or you off her or your shoes. (that came out weird) but I think a break for the whole summer would be bad. You could possibly lose connection with her. I've done this and I've regretted ever taking a break, because I lost the one girl I think liked me more than i liked her. In the end, you just have to be able to balance your life. It only gets harder during college and real life. Might as well learn to deal with it now if you still want the relationship

[Painterlyy]

Just because you have some time you aren't spending with each other doesn't mean that you need a break. A relationship should be able to survive whatever.

[c0lap1nada]

... What would you do if you two were in a long distance relationship then?
Or are those a no-go for you? But eh, don't take a 'break'. Those are just silly.

[CatGoesMeow]

Hi soompi! Ok, so I have been with my girlfriend since November, and we've been really good togethur. We fight sometimes but I think it's healthy because if we never fight the first fight we'd get in we'd break up. So recently I've been really busy I've gotten a new job and their working me hard. I no longer have weekends off, only sunday I have off, but they still ask me to work an average of about 4 hours on sunday but after that i'm free. Not only that but on 3 out of 5 weekdays I'm working too, and I also have to go to school.....
I'm really stressed lately and my girlfriend helps me feel better when I'm stressed, but I feel like a horrible boyfriend because we never spend time togethur.
Plus finals are coming up in my high school and there are a few classes that I am barely passing...... some that I have to do much better in or else I'll fail the year because I failed the first term


I've talked to her about a break already..... she said that she thinks a break will break us. I told her the break I wanted was from basically now until august because I will be attending summer school also....... Is it too long of a break? Will it break us? Are breaks a bad idea?

A break is generally a bad idea. Your relationship will only get worse in a break, since you two will grow more distant. Yes there are rare occasions that a break may benefit, But from your post I can only imagine it getting worse.

[darkensky]

In my opinion, it's a really bad idea. I know you're stressed with jobs, school and upcoming exams but your gf is being supportive and knows what you're going through. Just talk to her about your problems and let her know you won't spend as much time with her as you usually do. Nonetheless, e-mail or text her every 2-3 days just to let her know you still love and cares about her. I don't think you're so busy that you don't even have time for e-mails or text message. Girls tend to be really sensitive and if you tell her to take a break, 1) it shows that the relationship isn't working out and usually girls take it the wrong way as to what the reasons are. 2) she could meet other guys and you'd lose her. Let's say that your gf finds the other person who is more willing to spend more time with her, new feelings will develope. 3 months is a long time and if your bonds aren't strong, it's highly possible. Harsh but it's the reality.

[garasaki619]

Well.. I can see that your really stress at the moment. A break is a tricky and one of the most difficultest stage in a relationship. Whether going overseas, holidays, or just plain break etc. Depending on your current issue, a break can make both people realise "I feel free and I want to feel free" or it can make one or both partners feel "I miss him/her alot". It's hard to know. I am not in your shoes, so i cannot give you a proper advice. Think... without these schedules, are/were you guys good? and WITH these schedules, how bad is it? and have you changed alot because of your work and school? If your nto gonna go on a break, Just remind her that this is just temporary and you will adjust to the schedule. Remind her how much u love her. and if things go worse, end it or break.

[cowsie]

You're stressed at the moment because of work and finals, but I don't understand why you and your gf needs a break. Perhaps you guys fight a lot and argue about not spending time? If you really liked her then you wouldn't go on a break with her. Despite all the negative things with school and work, she's the only one that should be supportive on you. my boyfriend right now works/go to school, and i on the other hand busy with finals because i have od finals for this week, next week, and the week after that. I don't really see him as much but as long as i know he loves me and i love him, then that would be the only thing that matters. Don't go on a break just because you're stressed and you want to release something out. Break = mostly distant relationships, and it would be hard to mend back together. (well that's what i believe).

[heheimawesome]

my experience with breaks?
they suck. don't do it if you actually wanna be with her. just cut down on working? unless you have bills to pay and stuff to support you don't need to work so much right?


BUT. if you are gonna go on a break even though everyones saying no, then don't be "too busy" for her, yet still have time for your friends. she'd probably get pretty pissed off. and if you are gonna go on a break make sure she knows you still like her at all times.

but yeah. breaks suck. i suggest you stay together even if you dont get to see each other much. its better than not seeing each other at all right?

[AhYee]

If you want to end up actually breaking up with her, then I say go for the break. If you like her and want to continue a relationship with her, let's not try a break. I have friends who go on breaks, and it's not a happy image. If you're happily in like or love with your girlfriend, don't risk it with a break. And if she truly likes you, then she wouldn't mind you not being able to be there for her all the time. The fact that she's there for you when you're stressed should be enough to tell you that no matter what happens, she's there and you can rely on her to make you feel better. And as a good girlfriend, she'll understand that you're really busy with work and school. I mean, I don't think she wants you failing your classes. Anyways, as long as you tell her you appreciate her and everything she's done for you, she'll be happy. And that's what you want, right? Maybe at the end of all your busy schedules, do something extra extra nice for her. She'll be really touched. I guess you can take this as a test to your relationship? There's going to be a lot more things heading your way... and this might just be the start of it.

[xsusanz]

a break will lead to a break up.
during that time, you might really just lose feelings for her..or she might lose them for you.

if you can't spend time with her, show her that you still care about her. you dont have to spend time with her to be a good boyfriend. send her a cute text, a email. leave a voice message. tell her your thinking of her.

my boyfriend and i fight alot. we don't see each other alot, either. we're very busy and we also struggle with school. but, we still manage to call each other, etc.

[xabstruse]

me and my bf are on hiatus atm cuz it's winter and I'm way too busy to see him regularly, but we agreed to see each other when we can and still talk to each other every day on msn etc. kind of like, hibernation. (:

[tizzy1]

breaks = break up.
end of story. i don't think its a good idea. just stay in the relationship and work out the school problems together.

[shl979]

quit your job. you are not ready to work yet kid.

[jadeooo]

break = super bad idea

don't even think about it, you'll regret it.

quit a job or get less hours, you need to pass those classes or you'll be stuck with those min. pay jobs.

[The Pink Panda]

a relationship is not an activity; you can still be in a relationship and do other things; just tell her you're busy and if she was a good gf she'd understand

[secretwishess]

Wells.. i dont really think you quys need a break.. i mean like she dont even sound like she wants a break. lawls.
a break is qunna tear you quys apart. soo its not a qood idea.

[_Kelly]

Having a break doesn't mean you guys would end up breaking up eventually, it's known to lead to break ups, but thats because after a period of time being distant, the couples usually lose the feeling and thier passion to keep the relationship from working. I'm not sure if it's a good idea suggesting a break even if you don't have much time for her, I'm sure she feels insecure at times and misses you when you're not there for her but think about it, if you suggested a break, that's like adding more fustration and complication towards what you two are going through now. Even without any time, as long as you guys have the feeling, it's all the same.. you don't have to BE with her constantly by her side to make it seem like a "relationship". and i think she would rather not see you much then go on a "break".