[cutiepiepiggie]

well, first of all, i started it first be doing the thing i'll talk about next
i've been friends with this girl for maybe 3 years
and we were so close and ha such great times with each other
this happened a little more than a year into our friendship
but then one day, i don't know why
we were in math and needed to share my book and calculator
i said yes but then, for some stupid reason i don't know why,
i like totally like hovered over them and made the stuff
obviously more on my side
finally, after a few minutes she moved her desk away
and we used to always wait for eachother
but this time she left without me; which was reasonable
since i was pretty mean
so i felt bad and that night i called her and told her
i was being stupid and was really sorry
she said that everyone had those days

then after that, things went downhill
we were still really good friends
and there was another girl in this close circle of friends
we were like the three musketeers
but me and the girl mentioned above (who i'll call olga)
were really close to each other
but then after that olga and the other girl (who i'll call jesse)
became really close and i kinda felt excluded
but i didn't say anything and just kept on going on
so that was two years into our friendship

beginning of school we were fine and dandy
but then there was a math competition
and i won 7th; she's like considered really smart
and she didn't really win anything
and this kid was trying to tell her before the awards
that they had both won a trophy
but in the end they didn't
so when i came back from the stage
she was standing there with a straight face
when i got there, she smiled and congratulated me
sort of unenthusiastically and then immediately stopped talking
so on the bus, we didn't really talk
i don't know why; it was just akward

then at school people were congratulating me
and she just kind of stood there
one of my teachers was like "...cause she gets every math problem right"
i just laughed; and jesse who didn't know i had won 7th said
"no, that's olga"
then olga just stood there and shrugged

also, everyone knows her as a very nice person
and me kind of as the violent one XD since i hit people compulsively
but i've stopped now haha
but i realize that she treats me a little more meanly
like when i'm doing my homework during lunch,
i'll ask her question and ask her to explain it to me
and she's like just look in the book
i know for a fact that she wouln't do that to others
in fact, i had asked just a few minutes earlier for her to explain something to me
and of course came back with the same answer
then another one of my friends asked
and she explained it to them nicely
i ignored it; and acted normally
with me, she acts so meanly and with others she's so nice
when she's explaining something to someone else,
i try to look along but then she tilts her book so i can't see

i've also been annoying at times but never mean
cause i don't really like the feeling i get when i am
for instance, we're in this thing to publish a school magazine
i'm the illustrator and she brought in the draft of it
and i wanted to see it, an she was like i don't want anyone to see it
and i was like, "it's not just yours; all the people who contributed; that's there magazine,too"
and she said that "no it is mine; i'm the one who spent the most time on it
and it basically just went on like that
so we just stopped and then five minutes later, she did put her head on my shoulder
so i guess i'm not that great at holding grudges,
so i guess we were okay again
after school, she wanted to show the teacher the magazine
and i wanted to come along and see but she said she didn't want me to see it
so i said i would wait outside
and she said with a face of disgust (that's the best word i could describe it)
she said "don't make me look like a bad person"
i admit, i was stupid and stubborn and went along with her
then after sitting out there for a while,
she came out and didn't even regard me sitting on the floor waiting
and just walked away

our realtionship is really like that
she's never willing to help me
and in my first and second year of friendship
she was the nicest person i knew
but now she's treating me so meanly
and to others, she's treating nicely like how she did to me before
truthfully, i am the only one she treats like that

sorry that was a lot to read
i don't know what to do
and why do you think she;s acting like this?

[Swixx]

Well, being the creeper I am, I stole a quick look at your 411 and you're really cute :]
AND you beat her at a math competition.. and she was all sour about it... maybe she really IS jealous?
If so, I don't think you can really do anything about it, because your friend won't be happy until you are "below" her.
About the whole "helping other people but not me" issue, she could think of you as her rival.. and doesn't want you to get ahead of her?
From what you've said, she seems to be very competitive and jealous, but hides it well in front of other people.
If she's not helping you and treating you badly [not acknowledging your presence is pretty harsh], I say just distance yourself from her, and maybe she'll come back.

I had the same problem this year.. there was this girl who I was friends with, and we had an AP class together. She'd never try to help me, and would do immature/stupid things to prevent me from learning, like sliding away the book when I'd try to see what problems she was talking about..
She'd ask me for help sometimes, and I'd help her [NAIVE.. I KNOW...], but then when I'd ask her to return the favor, she'd just log off, never answer back, or just walk away.
And I'd just be standing there, frozen... like what the heck?

Anyways, I learned she wasn't worth bullcrap and we stopped talking. She eventually dropped out of the class because she was too stupid [take that!!] and after a while, she started talking to me again, saying hi, walking with me in class...
I made sure I'd never become close friends with her again, but we still talk. She tries to hang out with me and my group of friends, but no.. everyone eventually found out there was something off about her and she wasn't really as "nice" as she seemed.

[cutiepiepiggie]

Well, being the creeper I am, I stole a quick look at your 411 and you're really cute :]
AND you beat her at a math competition.. and she was all sour about it... maybe she really IS jealous?
If so, I don't think you can really do anything about it, because your friend won't be happy until you are "below" her.
About the whole "helping other people but not me" issue, she could think of you as her rival.. and doesn't want you to get ahead of her?
From what you've said, she seems to be very competitive and jealous, but hides it well in front of other people.
If she's not helping you and treating you badly [not acknowledging your presence is pretty harsh], I say just distance yourself from her, and maybe she'll come back.

I had the same problem this year.. there was this girl who I was friends with, and we had an AP class together. She'd never try to help me, and would do immature/stupid things to prevent me from learning, like sliding away the book when I'd try to see what problems she was talking about..
She'd ask me for help sometimes, and I'd help her [NAIVE.. I KNOW...], but then when I'd ask her to return the favor, she'd just log off, never answer back, or just walk away.
And I'd just be standing there, frozen... like what the heck?

Anyways, I learned she wasn't worth bullcrap and we stopped talking. She eventually dropped out of the class because she was too stupid [take that!!] and after a while, she started talking to me again, saying hi, walking with me in class...
I made sure I'd never become close friends with her again, but we still talk. She tries to hang out with me and my group of friends, but no.. everyone eventually found out there was something off about her and she wasn't really as "nice" as she seemed.

haha thanks; yea that's how i feel when i ask for help
like she doesn't want me to understand and get ahead
and about distancing myself, it's kind of hard
because we have almost all classes with each other
and in those classes we see each other
plus, like i said, i'm really bad at holding grudges
and i feel really bad ignoring and end up talking anyways
plus i don't want to lose this friendship even though it's not that great :[
i really don't know what to do
because i feel really badly and sometimes she really hurts me
because i see her acting so nicely, and i think to myself
why does everyone think shes so nice?
and i realize it's because i'm the one person she's mean to *sigh*

[Swixx]

I was a people-pleaser too..
I felt that I was just being immature and selfish by holding a grudge, and that if I kept being nice, everyone would accept me eventually.
And it just seemed pointless, because I ended up thinking that maybe I overreacted, and I was making a big fuss over little things.
Having classes together.. do you go up to her? Or does she randomly acknowledge you, giving a sort of shaky "invitation" to talk to her?
To distance myself, I just pretended I was too tired to be talking to ANYONE or i'd pretend I didn't see her standing over yonder ;]
I felt really mean about it, but it becomes easier after a while. She'll get the message I'm positive.
I feel like she might try to be friends with you again after she's found out that you don't care for her anymore. She can tell that no matter how rude she might be to you, you'll always be nice, and she's taking advantage of that.

Oh, there was also another girl who was only mean to me also.. geeze I have such bad luck with catty girls D:
And she was SUPER nice to everyone else, everybody basically ADORED her. But like the other girl I mentioned, people found out there was something wrong with her too [lol] <--we eventually made a "silent truce" to be "fake" friends I guess.. trust me it's not fun, and that's how you and Olga are gonna be.

Think of it like this: if you're at the point where you're posting on an internet forum about a girl who is constantly snubbing you, is it really worth the trouble to stay friends? You'll have to force yourself to distance away, but I personally would stop trying so hard to be nice to her.
Just remember that you can't make everyone happy :|

Even nice people have limits.


And now I'm gonna go study for that AP class I talked about @____@

[babyN_xxs]

One single and final word...... : KARMA

Maybe she likes the other chick more now and your no longer her best friend.

We will never know her side of the story only yours.

I personally think your both jealous of each other.... considering she use to be really smart and won awards.. and now your winning them.. you must be smart too
considering your a hover and a hog with ur textbooks..

u guys are just weird and young dont stress over it your only 15.

Let her be happy wiht her new best friend, maybe u can start over with another friends too

Live and u learn. and u guys will soon mature and grow up.

I use to be like that too when i was 13

[cutiepiepiggie]

I was a people-pleaser too..
I felt that I was just being immature and selfish by holding a grudge, and that if I kept being nice, everyone would accept me eventually.
And it just seemed pointless, because I ended up thinking that maybe I overreacted, and I was making a big fuss over little things.
Having classes together.. do you go up to her? Or does she randomly acknowledge you, giving a sort of shaky "invitation" to talk to her?
To distance myself, I just pretended I was too tired to be talking to ANYONE or i'd pretend I didn't see her standing over yonder ;]
I felt really mean about it, but it becomes easier after a while. She'll get the message I'm positive.
I feel like she might try to be friends with you again after she's found out that you don't care for her anymore. She can tell that no matter how rude she might be to you, you'll always be nice, and she's taking advantage of that.

Oh, there was also another girl who was only mean to me also.. geeze I have such bad luck with catty girls D:
And she was SUPER nice to everyone else, everybody basically ADORED her. But like the other girl I mentioned, people found out there was something wrong with her too [lol] <--we eventually made a "silent truce" to be "fake" friends I guess.. trust me it's not fun, and that's how you and Olga are gonna be.

Think of it like this: if you're at the point where you're posting on an internet forum about a girl who is constantly snubbing you, is it really worth the trouble to stay friends? You'll have to force yourself to distance away, but I personally would stop trying so hard to be nice to her.
Just remember that you can't make everyone happy :|

Even nice people have limits.


And now I'm gonna go study for that AP class I talked about @____@

i don't know; it's gonna be hard
plus, i think she thinks that i'm not nice
like when i followed her to that teacher for the magazine
she was like, "you have such double-standards;
you can be not nice to me, but you expect me to be nice to you"
i was kind of hurt because i really didn't think i was being mean or anything
but we're still really close friends; and people still regard us as best friends
and i really can't break up the friendship
because she was one of the best friends i had
i mean it's not hard being nice to her
it's just har having to deal with her

good luck with your APs :]

One single and final word...... : KARMA

Maybe she likes the other chick more now and your no longer her best friend.

We will never know her side of the story only yours.

I personally think your both jealous of each other.... considering she use to be really smart and won awards.. and now your winning them.. you must be smart too
considering your a hover and a hog with ur textbooks..

u guys are just weird and young dont stress over it your only 15.

Let her be happy wiht her new best friend, maybe u can start over with another friends too

Live and u learn. and u guys will soon mature and grow up.

I use to be like that too when i was 13

haha thanks for the harsh and true advice :]
but it's not like that; the other girl both like us both equally
and it's not that we don't like each other less than we did before
i think it's more due to our treatment of each other
because of jealousy on both sides
but i think that over a while jealousy turns into admiration and jealousy
i think i'm almost there to admiration
i really do see that we think of each other as rivals
because when my other friend, not jesse, won a big thing
i was so happy for her
haha hopefully i'll be able to do that :]

[secretlyjustyours]

ahh reminds me of my friend! she got mad that i got into peer counseling and she didnt so shes been -_________- lately. just take a little break from each other?
thats what me and my friends are doing, im sorta getting annoyed by them so yea.

[AhYee]

I tried putting myself in your friend's shoes. I asked myself, "Why am I only mean to [her]?" Of course, even though I tried to put myself in her shoes, I couldn't get an answer because I don't know what she's thinking. But if it were me, and I was like her, I'd say it's because of... jealousy? Or maybe she just doesn't like you that much anymore? Who knows?
She probably doesn't like the fact that you beat her in a math competition when she's supposed to be the smart one. But you suddenly jumped ahead of her and put her in the spotlight. She lost to you, and it seems like she's a tough competitor. Like one of those 'I can't lose to her' girl. That's the impression I get. Maybe you don't think you're annoying, but maybe she thinks you are. These kind of things you never know.
Personally, I think she got closer with the other girl because she wants to show you that she can do better, and she doesn't only need you. I think at this stage, she doesn't like the fact that she shares things with you [such as the school magazine], and she wants something of her own, to call it her own. She's mean and only mean to you because perhaps she doesn't like you and wants you to backdown until she can feel that she's on top again?
I really don't know. But these things happen in life, and when it does, you're just going to have to deal with it. I'd say try to talk to her, and see what you can get out of it. You might not get anything, though.
I'm sure you have other friends as well. If she's treating you this way and you're not happy, you need to find friends who can make you happy. Friendship isn't all about competing and trying to win each other.
Or maybe I'm just wrong. Don't feel obligated to stay her friend just because she was once your very best friend. It doesn't have to be that way.

Anyways, best of luck to you. Hope you get everything sorted out.

[c0lap1nada]

Hahaha after reading the first post I checked out your 411 being the creeper that I am too OT but what lenses are you wearing? XDDD

Back on topic. Friends are only time killers. You replenish them after some time...

[cutiepiepiggie]

I tried putting myself in your friend's shoes. I asked myself, "Why am I only mean to [her]?" Of course, even though I tried to put myself in her shoes, I couldn't get an answer because I don't know what she's thinking. But if it were me, and I was like her, I'd say it's because of... jealousy? Or maybe she just doesn't like you that much anymore? Who knows?
She probably doesn't like the fact that you beat her in a math competition when she's supposed to be the smart one. But you suddenly jumped ahead of her and put her in the spotlight. She lost to you, and it seems like she's a tough competitor. Like one of those 'I can't lose to her' girl. That's the impression I get. Maybe you don't think you're annoying, but maybe she thinks you are. These kind of things you never know.
Personally, I think she got closer with the other girl because she wants to show you that she can do better, and she doesn't only need you. I think at this stage, she doesn't like the fact that she shares things with you [such as the school magazine], and she wants something of her own, to call it her own. She's mean and only mean to you because perhaps she doesn't like you and wants you to backdown until she can feel that she's on top again?
I really don't know. But these things happen in life, and when it does, you're just going to have to deal with it. I'd say try to talk to her, and see what you can get out of it. You might not get anything, though.
I'm sure you have other friends as well. If she's treating you this way and you're not happy, you need to find friends who can make you happy. Friendship isn't all about competing and trying to win each other.
Or maybe I'm just wrong. Don't feel obligated to stay her friend just because she was once your very best friend. It doesn't have to be that way.

Anyways, best of luck to you. Hope you get everything sorted out.

hm, yeah maybe i'm just not seeing things in perspective
like maybe i'm being annoying but i've tried to stop i guess
i think i've become a little more distant,too
hey thanks for the advice; i think my feelings
are kind of out of obligation
and i should realize there are other people out there
thanks~i hope so, too

Hahaha after reading the first post I checked out your 411 being the creeper that I am too OT but what lenses are you wearing? XDDD

Back on topic. Friends are only time killers. You replenish them after some time...

haha; i'm not really sure
thanks for the saying/advice :]

[#SHINAI]

hi!

i had a friend like that before, except she'd act mean to me in private. i was kept kind of like a pet (b- word yo) but that's the past now. we were besties for what felt like years, my middle school (gr 5-9) years lol. during those years, a language competition was held. i won 1st place and she at 2nd. she was really bitter about it so it made our relationship rocky. fast fowarding a bit, upon entering high school, i finally broke away. i guess it was a "silent fight" since we didn't really talk and it was extremely awkward. we stopped waiting for each other and bus rides were quiet. no topic to talk about. we're not besties anymore nor are we even acquaintances. mind you, i still give her an occasional "hi-hey-what's up". i feel like it's common courtesy, after knowing each other so long

anyways, like you i can't hold grudges, nice but mean in a joking way. that compulsive hitting people thing? yeah. reserve that for people you are close with, otherwise you'll send the wrong image. i think it's good you know when you were wrong. i don't want to assume your friend is mad about the math competition because she is your friend. why be jealous? she should be happy for you! but it is possible. maybe she's not thinking clearly and doesn't see your full value as a friend. she's prolly acting mean in the spur of the moment. if you wait it out, see what happens? don't do anything "mean" to her back or else, it'll most likely get worse lol

or maybe, sorry to look at this in a bad way but friendships do burn out. i'd suggest to take a break from her for a while but she's in most of your classes.

do you have other groups of friends? just wondering, what is it like when you, olga and jesse are together? ie. nice to jesse,mean to you? does jesse notice?

i hope you work this friendship thing out! don't let it end up like mine, it's really weird especially if you have friends that know your ex-friends

[cutiepiepiggie]

hi!

i had a friend like that before, except she'd act mean to me in private. i was kept kind of like a pet (b- word yo) but that's the past now. we were besties for what felt like years, my middle school (gr 5-9) years lol. during those years, a language competition was held. i won 1st place and she at 2nd. she was really bitter about it so it made our relationship rocky. fast fowarding a bit, upon entering high school, i finally broke away. i guess it was a "silent fight" since we didn't really talk and it was extremely awkward. we stopped waiting for each other and bus rides were quiet. no topic to talk about. we're not besties anymore nor are we even acquaintances. mind you, i still give her an occasional "hi-hey-what's up". i feel like it's common courtesy, after knowing each other so long

anyways, like you i can't hold grudges, nice but mean in a joking way. that compulsive hitting people thing? yeah. reserve that for people you are close with, otherwise you'll send the wrong image. i think it's good you know when you were wrong. i don't want to assume your friend is mad about the math competition because she is your friend. why be jealous? she should be happy for you! but it is possible. maybe she's not thinking clearly and doesn't see your full value as a friend. she's prolly acting mean in the spur of the moment. if you wait it out, see what happens? don't do anything "mean" to her back or else, it'll most likely get worse lol

or maybe, sorry to look at this in a bad way but friendships do burn out. i'd suggest to take a break from her for a while but she's in most of your classes.

do you have other groups of friends? just wondering, what is it like when you, olga and jesse are together? ie. nice to jesse,mean to you? does jesse notice?

i hope you work this friendship thing out! don't let it end up like mine, it's really weird especially if you have friends that know your ex-friends

i guess my situation is kind of like yours
but it's like we're around everyone
and no one notices because they're doing other stuff
but when it is in public, she does it in a nicer way i guess
like if i ask her for help she'll be like, "shhh!"
yea, i have other friends
she's pays more attention to jesse and kind of ignores me
i'm sure jesse does notice it; like she'll look at me all innocently
i guess she doesn't choose to point it out
thanks! i hope it does work out
or else i just might have to cut it off :[

[tubbycheeks]

i think it's out of jealousy....