[milkbunny]

end thread :] thank you very muchh eeveryone

[SunniRise]

I am so sorry about that. Well look my parents put me down alot. It only matters what you think, not what they think. Love yourself first. Once you do what they say wont matter. It is hard. But try it. It works. I hope it helps out. Just try to not listen to what he says. Try to think positive about what you have right now.
and remember there are alot of people who love you! find support in them. Hope it helps.

Love, SunniRise.

[Seraphyx]

In my opinion his reaction was much too angry for a mistake that small. I don't think you can make him change his sexist opinions about females since those are the ideals that he grew up with. I feel that maybe in this case, it might just be better to remember the mistake you made this time and try to fix it next time. I'm sure he appreciates what you do, I mean I probably would appreciate having a very obedient daughter that helps me. I just find the swearing highly unnecessary. Anyways, confronting him could possibly just aggravate the issue, but I think that if it really bothers you that much, then you should take the initiative and calmly talk to him.

Best of luck~

[xAzumi]

I can totally relate to what your feelings. Just stay strong, and don't listen to your words. The more you care what their saying, the more you will feel useless, ashamed, and hurt. Try to listen to some music, and talked to your relatives about it. It hard explaining to your dad about your feelings because, one, he is so used to scolding you that he doesn't understand your a young, grown women, it not like the olden days when women are EXPECTED to clean the house, wash the dishes, cook food, and live with verbal abuse without retaliating back. I believe your mom endure living with your dad and she is used to the verbal abuse that it have become just words to her. But, to you, now you live in this country, it becomes totally different, you cook food, help him, clean his clothes, iron his clothes because you CARED about him, and not just EXPECTED of you. Do you see those are two differents words? I can relate to you, because I endure emotional verbuse for along time from everyone especially my grandma, aunts, and relatives. Especially the women, but not really my dad. I exploded like you, and I raised my voice at my grandma, and she instantly thought I was rebelling and becoming a disgraceful child. If only I took that and turn it around and spoke to her in a calm manner.

Just keep pushing, think about the positive stuff on life. Your mom and dad created you. He worked hard to bring in those food for you and your family to eat. He work hard, and he expects you to help him. You have to know, you parents work hard just to raise you into the person you are to know. Do not think about this as a bad experience, just think about this as an experience for you to remember, and learned from.

Stay positive, if you need any advice, you can always pm me.

[Scandalous]

I can relate to you getting stress over your family.. Your father is being totally unreasonable.
If your mother is less like your father, you could have a talk about it, say how your father is mistreating you.
Best of luck to you (Although I probably havent been much help at all)

[KanyeWEST]

geeze maybe use your fcuking eyes next time and make yourself useful. (more cursing words)

[springrollz]

i was in a similar argument with my dad not too long ago. over stupid words, literally because i used the wrong words in translation from one language to another. really petty, and not worth such a big argument. you step back and think...what really is the cause of all this anger. and maybe you'll realize that it really wasn't you at all. in my case, it was something in a bigger picture that i had no control of. jealousy, change, seeing your daughter become more independent and distant and alot of misunderstanding. i always tried to communicate with my parents since they didn't do much of it. you try what you can, express your thoughts because if you don't, it's like you never had them at all and you're basically agreeing to all they say. however, let him rant, rave, and you try to listen. maybe in between the ranting you will get a clue behind his animosity. however, after listening, tell them your thoughts and your opinion. note, "tell them" calmly, shouting and emotions would only hurt you more. if you're calm, maybe they'd stay calm. all said and done, walk away. there's nothing more you can do. that was my experience, hopefully yours will be less traumatizing. it also helps to be less dependent on them, if you're still young...just listen to what he has to say ( or pretend to) and if you don't like it. walk away. you know the man's got problems and until he realizes them, not much you can do.

[damyoungji]

Your father reminds me a lot of my own father. He blows up at the smallest things and he can ruin everyone's day in the family. He curses and he has a really loud voice. When he is pissed, the storms around the entire house and then slams the door to go to sleep. It was worse when were were younger since he will break stuff and throw whatever he broke all over the place and make us clean up. Anyway, how old are you now? My dad was like that when I was younger. Even though he still does it these days, now that my siblings are older (I'm the middle child and I turned 21 this year), we retort back or we reason with him. Hopefully things will get better as you grow older because that is when you are more likely to know how to cope with people like our fathers. However, you must remember that they will never change T.T I have gone through this pretty much ever since I was born and I don't give any hope that my father will treat me differently. He hates me the most in the entire family, so .. What can I do, right? The best way is to just avoid him and if he finds an excuse to pick on you, if the situation is right, pick on his own issues. But do remember it depends on your age, too.

[BrightCloset]

I'm so sorry to hear this.
I know exactly how you feel.
The only thing you can do is try talking to him. If that doesn't work, then I don't really know what else you can do.
Sorry that I can't be of much help.

[juhee]

i have to say first....
*HUGS*

although i can't say that i know how you feel, because im obviously not you...
but i think i know what you're going through...
my father throws insults me as well...
ex. he calls me pig, or "go to the gym!" when im eating... etc...
and he keeps stressing about me to get married soon...
btw im going to be 20 in a few days! and he's thinking marriage already (telling me that i should be grounded financially and the only way of doing that is for me to get married... pfft!)

like what other posters said before...
stay strong... and be confident in yourself.
never NEVER let his words get to you...
you're not useless... its just that for some reason he can't seem to see how special you are!

[CharlotteDarcy]

my dad doesn't curse but he calls me a stupid cow all the time.



Moo!

[tomato-chan]

I wish I can give you a real hug. How can parents BE like that?!?! Your dad is really an bubble gum. *HUGS*

[vip_gd]

stay strong till the end
as in, when you leave the house.
then you're freeee.

[mintcracker]

meh
my dad's alot worst

just take it? he's your dad after all.

[krayz3e_]

Maybe he was just having a bad day. Don't worry too much, if anything happened to you *touches wood*, he would be very worried about you. He is your father, you only have one so you should try to build a good relationship with him.

[missakky]

my dad reacts that way over trivial stuff as well. just try not to let it get to u. it's his loss in the end if u don't keep have a relationship with him in the future. i've had to come to that realization myself not too long ago

[kibum1234]

I know what you mean, my dad used to be like that too. He is just in a bad mood, or is having a bad day. Just ignored him when next time he yell or curse at you again. He will stop when you dont seem to care.

[c i e l`]

aw, cheer up! just bear it, and stay strong.
you'll regret getting all hurt because of him,
it is truly not worth it, don't let him bring you down with hurtful words and actions.
parents are hard to deal with, but even though he doesn't understand you,
don't be mad at him. don't let yourself get angry, it won't do you any good.
if you really can't stand it then try to talk it out with one of them, and if it doesn't
work, you should just give up and go on with your own life.

i personally feel way better when i don't care about them treating me unfairly.
plus, it'll make you cool! : )

fighting! *hugs*

[&pikachuu__;]

I've been through this, and thought the same way you did. :[ It does hurt.
But what I've learned to do is to get back at them in a very subtle way.
When he screams at you for doing something wrong, just look him straight in the eye and say, "I'm really sorry, dad. I don't know why I was so careless and it is my fault for not getting the stuff out. I'm so sorry, I understand you're really busy and I should have helped you out more." If you say stuff like this every time he gets angry...
1) You are acknowledging that you did something wrong, which is basically what your parents are trying to make you feel guilty and useless for (which you are not :] ).
2) You also calm him down, because he cannot yell at you anymore for not realising that you "did something wrong". I guess, from this, his angry rants will have no where to go, and he'll feel like he has not outlet or reason to continue yelling.


I know this doesn't take away from how often your parents will get angry over something small, but by doing this, you're strengthening yourself in a way, and also standing up to them by taking the higher road. Don't let them get to you, just realise, in a couple of years (assuming that you're still in high school since you live at home) you'll be able to leave the house and you won't have to deal with this as much.

I hope this helps. :x

[-_-]

Your dad is a prick. Perhaps you should talk to your mom at another time when things are settled and tell your mom how you feel. If he's going to listen to anyone, it'll probably be your mom. In the meantime, just count down the days till you're 18 and move out and can go off to college. Keep your head up.