[Serenity65]

For a little background information, this guy asked me to prom, we started going out, broke up, decided to still go to prom together, and now are unsure whether we still want to go with each other. I sent him a really long message explaining what happened and here's how it went:

Jeff, I guess all this frustration is all due to miscommunication. I was mad today because you kept interrupting me and trying to explain things over the phone yesterday and I felt like you wouldn’t give me a chance to speak. I couldn’t think straight or even gather my thoughts.. so I hung up on you and went to sleep. (Sorry) I should have told you why I was mad and talked things out with you before ignoring you. The fact that you didn’t understand why I was mad made me even more frustrated. I feel like you just wanted to “settle” things without bothering to know what caused all of it. When I asked you if you were going to sit at my table after Dennis got the tickets and you said you didn’t know, it bothered me a lot. If we were not combining tables, then you would probably choose to sit with them. The fact that you even had to think about whether you wanted to join my table means that you’re reluctant to. (Just like what happened before we broke up... you were unsure) It seems like you just follow your friends and don’t know what you want. The limo thing, I was pretty okay with. I understand if you want to go with your friends, but did you ever think about if I wanted to go with them? I barely even talk to any of them. Did you think about how awkward it would be for me? I thought it was a bit selfish and inconsiderate. I feel like the problem between us is that you always choose your friends. I don’t want to tie you down. If you want to go with them, then you should. You said you felt obligated to go with them... but don’t u feel obligated go with me too? Did you ever ask me what color my prom dress was so you could match with me? (I am your prom date after all) At this point, I feel like you don’t even want to go with me… just that you have to because it’s too late to ask anyone else. It feels like you only decided to join us in Dennis’s car either because Lin is going or because I’m mad at you. Basically... what I’m trying to say is, I feel like I’m tying you down, just like when we were going out. I feel like this is not what you want and I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to think hanging out with me is a chore… that prom with me is one also. So if it means not going to prom together, it’s alright. Of course I want to go with you, but I only want to if the feelings r mutual.



This was his response:

well.. i'd have to say first that you assume things too quickly. Yes it is miscommunication, but you're not seeing the whole picture, nor were you being helpful to the process of mutual understanding (this letter is good though). At first, I thought going on the limo with the original group was totally fine for you.. you're close with lin, and u noe ray and me, so i figured it wouldnt be a problem. I was actually surprised that you decided to leave the limo and go with dennis without really asking me.. Though lin and anna decided to ditch shouldnt have changed the initial agreement, but i guess you never were that okay with going on the limo. I was even more surprised that you got upset after the table thing, because i thought taking different cars was enough change of plan. I didn't really understand why you were so willing to change tables.
Another thing is that, I'm not a follower, nor just doing what my friends want me to do. The decision to stay with that group was because arranging limos and groups is extremely tedious, and to bail out so late is kind of messed up. I personally think it was kind of messed up, that lin suddenly cant bear paying limo for himself and his gf. Peter and Lisa is a different case; they actually feel very awkward and didn't want to be prom dates after they broke up. For us, i thought that neither applied, so I thought we were still cool on the group arrangement. In that context, suddenly switching limos and tables for you is a bit hard of a decision for me to make. If you felt really awkward being in that group, we could have talked about it beforehand.. It's okay now i guess, since our groups are merged.
I will admit, my indecisiveness in the relationship we had was wholly my fault, and I can accept that you might be bitter about that. But for the problems with prom, which i thought became a thing between friends, is not out of indecisiveness. Another thing is, that I also admit I don't always pay attention to the important details. I don't necesssarily give clear wording of my ideas to clear out all the negative ambiguity. I'm also sorry for that. By the way, i was going to ask you that question about prom dress color on our walk down the stairs.


As of now.. I am really unsure as to if I should go to prom with him or not.

[xspringrollsx]

Yeah in your letter you worded some points that sounded more like statements rather than ideas.

But judging from his letter, I think he understood that he forgot to look at some points from your perspective and that both of you just misunderstood each other completely really.

I'm quite sure he still wants to go with you.

[rarawong]

I think he wants to go with you still, but the question is whether you want to go with him. Thing is, maybe the things you are expecting of him is not what he can really live up to and that kind of disappoints you and you're confused as to what is really going on in his mind. I kinda know how you feel becuase I went through the same thing with someone else before and we ended up going together which was fine because we had agreed to go as friends and when we got there we had a few dances together and then we went and chilled with our own friends. Its good that you talked to him a bit though and sent him a msg explaining how you felt =) If he's still not giving you the assurance you want over e-mail though, talk to him =) I know i'm not much of a help >< but just go with your gut feeling. Do you want to go with him or not?

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

i think youre just being dramatic and the both of you kids try to act like grown ups and make things really unnecessary. maybe you guys should be more straight forward instead of having to resort to write long emails and then mentioning every detail that was bothering you (well...thats only you not him).. but anyway this all could be solved with a more straightforward communication and grow a bit of thicker skin

[xoxoknlove]

i think he still wants to go with you and it seems like some plans were changed, thats partially why he changed plans too
its best you just go with him and not act so dramatically over tables and cars.

but i feel like your letter somewhat made it look like the world (or he should) revolve around you :\


^^sorry if i'm harsh >___<