[hyeminnie]

My family was never really close to begin with. My dad had some anger issues and moved out when I was 6, leaving my mom to take care of us. My brother and I moved in with our dad because of some reason during middle school and that's how we are now; we never really talk to each other and don't really "know" each other as well, but when we are together, we always seem to fight. My parents don't get along (separated), my brother and I have grudges against my dad (long story), and my mom is trying to get close to us even though it seems like we push her away.

So I'm graduating in 2 days and my mom is making a big deal of it since she missed my brother's graduation last year. She's down in Virginia taking care of the restaurant that my dad decided to invest in, and it hasn't really been going all that well. It's her down in VA and my brother, dad and myself are in MD, so we don't see each other that much (maybe once a week).

The reason I'm posting this is because my mom called me today and started talking about how if she died she wanted me to promise that I would scatter her ashes to heaven. I'm not really the emotional type and I didn't really know what to say. It's always been like this and I was just curious if anyone else had these kind of problems, you know, a distant family; having troubles with emotions, and such.

Sorry in advance for the choppiness. It's kinda hard to describe 17 years of my life in a couple of paragraphs.

[spixder]

Use to have trouble in the past with my siblings, nowdays not anymore. Family bonding is a definite must, esp in your case.

[Overtherainbow]

I can understand that you're not the emotional type because I'm not either. For some people, they have to say 'I love you' to their parents and siblings every day or something. It doesn't work that way with everybody. My family isn't super close. We aren't as distant as I would say your family is but we don't like to engage in emotional conversations and I've never heard my parents say 'I love you' to each other or to my brothers and I. That's OK though because that's what I'm used to. It would be really awkward any other way.

[the last hour.]

I live in a broken family, but different then your circumstances. But I'm also not the emotional type. My family is sort of mean, in a sense. We don't show that we love each other, and when we do get along, we tend to insult each other by showing our love? Haha, that was years back though. But yeah, our family does not consist of hugs or i love yous or eating together at dinner or any of that sort. Ever since I was little and started growing up, the i love yous from my parents started disappearing when my parents began to worry over cash, my dad began to work longer hours and my mom having to handle my oldest sister's outbursts. But for relationship wise with my and my brothers, it started when I was younger. Me and my oldest brother stopped talking for a year. Probably two years. We had a fallout that made it happen, but even before that I really hated him (for very, very, personal reasons), so it wasn't because of our fallout. It was like, things were stacking on to each other and it was a matter of time until everything fell apart. I'm content with this situation because i rather not speak to him. He still lives with my parents so we do live in the same house, but we became almost strangers. My younger brother and I also had a fallout for other reasons as well. My oldest sister and I had issues back when she lived with us. Actually, it was her, me, and my mom. I came to a point where I wanted her out, because she was putting our mom through so much pain and she didn't care. She doesn't live here with us anymore, which is honestly for the better. Back then we never got along and we hated each other's guts. Now, we're sort of reconciling, but the major damage that happen in the past can't be patched up. I know for a fact, when all of us move out, i won't be in contact with half my siblings. I wouldn't feel bad about it. The only thing I would feel bad is for my mom and having her see her kids hate each other.

[~dhluvr4ever~]

no worries.
my family isn't all that close either. look at these replies and their insight.
dont feel bad. just know you have you're own future and you'll
make it you're own. now all these problems
really opened my eyes. i used to think i had it bad,
but now. i feel better (:

stay strong.