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Viagra Wife Diary

#1 User is offline   sloveu 

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 09:13 AM

This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife…

Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven’t noticed.

Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson’s Column and burst into tears.

Day 4
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that will fix his ‘problem’. It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5
What absolute bliss!!

Day 6
Isn’t life wonderful but it’s difficult to write while he’s doing that.

Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it’s very nice - I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.

Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I’m also getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over….

Day 11
I’m basically being screwed to death. It’s like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He’s a complete pig.

Day 12
I wish he was gay. I’ve stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous…

Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that “Oops, sorry” thing again, I’ll kill the bastard.

Day 14
I’ve done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!

Day 15
I think I’ll have to kill him. I’m starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won’t go near him and our friends don’t come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did.

Day 16
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn’t seem to have made any difference…Christ! Here he comes again!

Day 18
He’s back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!


Source: http://funnycity.org/2009/05/viagra-wife-diary-2

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#2 User is offline   Fropit 

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 09:17 AM

LMAOOO xDD that was funny
whats prozac anyway? haha
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#3 User is offline   tiffanitrix 

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 04:18 PM

hahhah funnyyy
someone spiked his friend's drink with viagra last year at school.
wouldve been hilarious too. but then he got suspended. lmao

prozac is an anti-depressant

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#4 User is offline   saranghaese7en 

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 06:05 PM

hahaha that was pretty hilarious XD
i guess too much of a good thing is a bad thing
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#5 User is online   Snowy_Angel 

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 06:57 PM

LOLLL man what a funny diary roflss
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#6 User is offline   _eew 

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 06:38 AM

LOL that was funny xP
The diary was written so hilariously AHAHA. seemed painful LOL
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#7 User is offline   theLOSER 

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 10:15 AM

LOL! AHAHHAHA Thats what she gets for giving him Viagra lol!
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#8 User is offline   meilove 

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 12:32 PM

lol wow that was entertaining to read =D
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#9 User is offline   *crystal_moonlite* 

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 01:52 PM

hahahaha..whoa...weird...
how ironic eh?
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#10 User is offline   miril 

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 06:29 PM

hahaha hilarious biggrin.gif
that's weird, why he became horny-er while the wife dress as a nun ? tongue.gif
this is joookeee ... hehehe
i love my family; they're annoying yet huggable, snuggable, and lovable <3 <3
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#11 User is offline   emma_fifth 

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 07:27 AM

Isn’t life wonderful but it’s difficult to write while he’s doing that.

funny! too much is not good either.
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#12 User is offline   crashandburn 

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 07:38 AM



haha, what a funny diary. Pretty ironic too.


 


 
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#13 User is offline   OoShiraoO 

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 08:16 AM

dang i felt sorry for her =P
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#14 User is offline   catheezy 

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 04:04 PM

LOL i'm even afraid to yawn.
SNSD ì§±!
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#15 User is offline   bunNyarmy 

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Posted 28 May 2009 - 10:30 AM

^ i laughed so hard at that part too xD
poor woman.. her own fault for giving him viagra lmaoo


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#16 User is offline   lilliums 

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Posted 01 June 2009 - 11:43 PM

QUOTE (sloveu @ May 25 2009, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 11
I’m basically being screwed to death. It’s like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He’s a complete pig.

Day 12
I wish he was gay. I’ve stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous…

Day 15
I think I’ll have to kill him. I’m starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won’t go near him and our friends don’t come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did.


LMAO, I laughed the loudest at these.

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#17 User is offline   minsidiot 

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 02:03 AM

ROFLROFL this is hilarious.
QUOTE
I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.


Cleverrrrr XD
________________ _ __ _ _SORRY SORRY, it's our time again!
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#18 User is offline   SUMM3RxBABii 

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 06:01 PM

ROFLMFAOS!
too much sex man
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#19 User is offline   Starberriee 

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 06:27 PM

So this is what viagra does ...LOL. What a funny diary, I love the ending !
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#20 User is offline   justiiine 

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 10:07 PM

hahahaha
a girl can only take too much ((:
___________i need my MINSUN fix, man. {}

reading: || || || || || ||
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