[My Sweet September]

So my fiance and I, we're really happy together and have a very stable relationship, but there is one problem, and I'd say it's a fairly big one...

I want to move. To California. And he is dead set against it.

It had always been my dream to become an actress. And I realize that a move out to Cali is going to have to to happen someday, if I ever want to make acting my career. I am not talking about moving SOON, I want to do regional gigs first, but you can only go so far out here in Ohio.

He doesn't have any career goals, he doesn't know what he wants to do. I know what I want to do, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it.

But I don't want to have to sacrifice him in order to have a go at my dream.


So...I guess I would like advice for people who have been through this. What eventually happened? Is there anything I should say or do to make him understand how important this is to me? Am I asking to much of him, to move all across the country, away from family and friends, to chase a dream? Si there anyway we can compromise on this? I....just don't know. Both he and my dream are so so important to me, they are the only things in my life that give my direction and a sense of purpose. Is it impossible for me to have both?

[Seraphyx]

I'm sorry if I am harsh or blatantly rude at the moment, but I am tired and irritable.

Such grand aspirations you have that I see common in the disillusioned and the naive youth. Seeking a job as an actress is a goal? Hardly, this is such a long shot. You seem to feel that because you have decided on a so called career, that you should be more able to call the shots. Well in my opinion, wanting to become an actress is just as reliable as having no goal in life. You know that saying? Shoot for the moon, because if you miss you'll land among the stars? That saying has no truth to it, your grandiose dream of becoming an actress is hardly worth the move to California. Do you even have enough money to move to California? California has one of the highest standards of living of any state in the United States. Can you guys even afford rent out here? What if in the end, you and your fiance don't work out? He just moved for no reason.

[Meenuh]

You say that you aren't looking to move right away. My best advice is to get something stable you can work with considering he doesn't look like he'll be the bread winner anytime soon. Then, work on your acting and once you have your foot in the door you may try talking to him again.

There's no rush and no point in getting an immediate answer. I guess basically just show him you can do it by doing some acting where you are and moving up. If it doesn't work then atleast you have something you can fall back on right? (talking about the stable work/schooling I told you to get before you go into acting).

[My Sweet September]

Seraphyx, don't worry, you were not rude =) One of the reasons I am so torn about whether or not we should move is because my dream...isn't an easy one to accomplish. But I can't accomplish it if I don't ever try, right?

I've been researching apartment prices, we can afford a studio or a small one bedroom, it's not much more than what we are paying now, and he is currently on unemployment. We are pretty frugal with our money. But throughout the course of this year, I am planning on saving up money, so that if we do move, I will have at least 6 months worth of rent saved up, so we don't get stranded.

As far as backup plans go Meenuh, I am currently seeking out my STNA license and also looking into attending a bartending school. Bartending for me would be ideal, as the hours are good, and the money is also pretty good if you have a knack with customers, which I think I do. I am going to apply at local bars around here once I am 21, so I will have some experience if/when I decide to move out to Cali.

I will get my STNA license too, although the money isn't the best, it's usually not that difficult to land a job. Anyway, it doesn't hurt to get licensed, and it's also not expensive to get licensed.

Also I just heard about a work at home job that my fiance's stepmom is currently doing, it would be great to have as a part-time job, all you need is a computer and a private business phoneline, all which are tax write-offs, and you make your own hours. It would be a great part-time job for me to have.

I don't know, there is still a lot for me to decide, but I do know that I am determined, I will work very hard to make sure I don't drag him out to Cali for nothing. Even if acting doesn't work out, bartending can help pay my way through school if I decide to go back.


Oh, I spoke with my fiance today about moving, he said if I save up enough money so we can live without worry until we both land stable jobs, he would move. I also have to prove that I am willing to work hard at my dream, by doing gigs regionally and proving that I can land jobs, but I plan on doing that anyway. If I can't get work out here, then moving to California is out of the question.


Anyway, thanks for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it.

[Seraphyx]

^

You are such a sweet heart. I just had a 3 hour nap after successfully going 24 hours without any sleep; I was only able to stay awake because I dosed myself with pain killers to thin my blood and then nuking my system with caffeine.

You know what? You seem pretty bent on becoming an actress..... you should go for it, rather than asking questions or regretting it later. Put your all into it and maybe you will come out on top. When that day comes, please give me your first autograph!

Best of luck and fighting~

[My Sweet September]

Thanks for the support! I will definitely send you my autograph when/if that day comes =)

Are you having trouble sleeping or did you just want to pull an all nighter? Hopefully you don't have to do that again, it doesn't sound like very much fun at all. Take care of yourself ^___^

[Choco Pie]

I'm sorry, but do not come to California. It is best if you don't come to California.

California is broke right now. They are raising the sales tax to 10%, cutting teacher, government officials, all kinds of job. Hollywood actors and producers are actually leaving California as we speak. It will be difficult to find a job unless you go into the Porn Industry. Is your boyfriend open to stuff like that?

If you do come, go into Porn or working at Hooters.