[ilovefoodx333]

I need help >___<;;;

I like my best friend's ex DD: Now what? A few of my other friends have encouraged me to go for it. My best friend doesn't have anything to say about it, she just kept asking questions nonstop when she found out. I don't think that's a good thing. She told me she was over him and he told me he was over her. My other friends really don't see what the problem is. But I feel so guilty DD:

What should I do? Should I go for it or no DD: someone help me >___<;;

[sw33t_innoc3nt]

there's no need to feel guilty. especially if both parties have said that they're over each other.

i know girls have this "hands off best friend's ex" thing going on... but i don't think that should stop two people that likes each other from starting a relationship... ESPECIALLY when both people is over their past relationship. if she really is your best friend and is over him, i think you should go for it.

my bf happens to be a friend's ex too. we still get along great and everything
so don't feel guilty about it

best of luck

[Cγиσsυяε`]

This is your life and your opportunity to find love. Since they're not together, one of them doesn't want to be with the other. You might be the one for that guy, so just give it your best shot. I mean love is love.

[sixth.]

if your friend is okay with it and he likes you too, why not?

[JeSuisMoi]

Go for it. Although, I'd be worried about your friend asking constant questions about it. She might be lying when she says she's fine with it. But to be honest with you (and I've expressed this before in another thread lol), that unsaid/unwritten rule about not dating a friend's ex is unnecessary I think. If both parties are over eachother and don't have feelings for eachother, then why should it matter?

In your case though, I feel like your friend is either putting up a front or is in denial. Nonetheless, I say go for it. A lot of members might disagree with me cause there are people who are believers of the rule (and thats great, I just personally don't; I've never dated a friend's ex or anything but I don't see any big issue with it); if you like him and he likes you, try it out. If shes truly your friend she'll support you. <3

[muffinx3]

Well, I wouldn't. She's your bestfriend so it makes you more obliged to follow the "Don't date a friend's ex" rule. She might be jealous by the way that she's asking a lot of questions. That should wave some red flags.

It may not seem like a big deal now, but later your bestfriend might use it against you.
Atleast I know that when I look back on my exbestfriend and how she dated/liked my exes, I feel betrayed and even call her a backstabber (in one of the situations, she actually did backstab me so I'm not overexaggerating or anything).

But I mean, if your bestfriend is actually 100% okay with it, then why not? I guess. If he broke up with her, it's probably not okay.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're being really considerate of your bestfriend. I understand the talking/asking about it when you know that he also likes you back, but it seems like it's just you liking him as of right now.

You probably already have your mind made up though.

[ascandrew89]

a similar thing happened to me a couple years ago, and both people said they were over each other. i ended up dating her but my whole friendship with my best friend slowly deteriorated. my relationship didn't last long with her and on top of that i lost my best friend.

considering she is your best friend (or good friend), i would recommend NOT going out with your best friend's ex
just think about it, who's there for you no matter what? who has your back in sticky situations?
best friends don't just come and go
but there are plenty of fish out in the sea

[joxxy]

If your friend kept asking questions, that signals she's not entirely over him.
Give it some time, and then it may be okay.
And if you feel guilty about it, then it's not right.
Wait for the right time.

[ilovefoodx333]

Well, I wouldn't. She's your bestfriend so it makes you more obliged to follow the "Don't date a friend's ex" rule. She might be jealous by the way that she's asking a lot of questions. That should wave some red flags.

It may not seem like a big deal now, but later your bestfriend might use it against you.
Atleast I know that when I look back on my exbestfriend and how she dated/liked my exes, I feel betrayed and even call her a backstabber (in one of the situations, she actually did backstab me so I'm not overexaggerating or anything).

But I mean, if your bestfriend is actually 100% okay with it, then why not? I guess. If he broke up with her, it's probably not okay.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're being really considerate of your bestfriend. I understand the talking/asking about it when you know that he also likes you back, but it seems like it's just you liking him as of right now.

You probably already have your mind made up though.

That is exactly what I'm afraid of. We're really close and I don't want to risk losing her. She's the one that was there when I was heartbroken. She's the one that helped me get over that phase. I'm really REALLY scared. I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now. I really don't what to risk losing her, khs she's the bestest person in the world. and losing her...is the last thing i want. Which is exactly the reason why I made this. I have NO IDEA what to do. She says she doesn't care but she is THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE person I know! it's frustrating. T________T;;;

[boinky78]

If she seems to have feelings for him don't do it
boys come and go but friends will always be there
and if shes your best friend that should be much more imporant than a boy

[AhYee]

From what you're saying, your friend still likes the guy. I'd say... don't push it, yet. Not now, maybe later. But only if you still like him of course. If your friend didn't care, she wouldn't ask questions, she'd tell you to go for it and not wonder so much. She's being curious because she still cares! The whole unspoken golden rule of not dating your best friend's ex isn't written on stone, but for all girls, it's true. I know how it feels, and it's not cool. She might be telling you it's alright, but say you do go with the guy, she's going to have unhappy feelings about it, since he was her boyfriend.
Maybe really talk it out with your best friend. As much as she's unpredictable, it's not an excuse to start having thoughts about dating her ex-boyfriend. Because she's unpredictable, you're not going to know what to do if she breaks the friendship with you. She might be thinking, "She should know not to go out with him because she's my best friend. If she knows me, she'll know that I'm just saying I'm fine, but I'm really not fine." That's just my thinking, so don't believe me.
Do you really want to risk it? Sounds like you don't. Do you really want to date that guy? I don't know, I hope you figure things out.

[kimchee1]

i don't think you should go for it. it's your best friend's ex. even if she says she's over him, trust me if you two go out she'll probably feel different.

[michikosashimi]

If she seems to have feelings for him don't do it
boys come and go but friends will always be there
and if shes your best friend that should be much more imporant than a boy

i agree with boinky78.

[jaeka]

Talk to her personally about? You see she's your best friend so you guys should be able to talk comfortably and see what's what, rather than assuming. Have a good talk with her, one-on-one about it. See what you guys can get to.

[jhealizzie]

She told me she was over him and he told me he was over her.

you should give it a go.


oh btw,
what does she keep on asking nonstop?
is it when did you fall in love to her boyfriend?
why did you like her ex or something?

[novella]

i don't think you should go for it. it's your best friend's ex. even if she says she's over him, trust me if you two go out she'll probably feel different.

I agree. There's a reason this is an "unwritten rule." It will make things very awkward between the three of you but especially you and her. (Just because she says she's over him doesn't mean she really is.) I'm sorry, but I wouldn't do it.

[MsChen]

I say you go for it. They both said they're over each other, right? So why not?

[ascandrew89]

keep in mind that if you do end up going for it,
she's probably not over him considering she's still asking questions

and its just plain obvious that you don't date a friend's or best friend's ex
that just creates an awkward situation