To make a long story short, my ex-boyfriend/ best friend is getting married. However, I'm still in love with him and it would break my heart if he does. A year ago, we went out for four months and ended our relationship because he said that he didn't have any special "feelings" for me. At first I took it hard, but after a while, I moved on. Ever since then, our relationship has grown into a "best friend" sort of relationship. We dated ther people, however, still made time for eachother. And whenever there were problems that we each wanted to talk about, we talked to each other about them. Though he's my best friend now, my feelings have never changed. I'm not so sure if he feels the same though. (But who calls someone every night if they don't have some kind of feeling for that person?)
A few weeks ago, he went to Cambodia, where he has to meet his future fiancee. They were engaged since they were younger and his mother wants him to help her side of the family come over to America. Since he's been there, I realized that I'm in love with him. I can't live without him and all I think about is him.
But he's getting married soon. And I don't know if I should confess my feelings to him. I know that it wouldn't make any difference to his family's decision for him, but I feel that it would give me some relief from my anxiety. What do you guys think? Should I tell him?
One more question... I've been wandering about it since he left. Does he have feelings for me? He calls me every night. And as soon as he got to Cambodia, he called me. He told me that aside from his mother, he only calls me. He doesn't call his other guy friends or closer friends. And one day, I told him that I wanted a relationship (I'm the only single one among all my friends... I feel very lonely sometimes). He became really angry and told me that he didn't want me to be in a relationship because he told me to wait. ????? Does he have feelings for me?
He's Getting Married To Another Woman... But I'm in love with him.
#2
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 07:20 PM
Wow this is really deep. I want you to tell him so that you can take all your stress out of your system, meanwhile, I don't think you should tell him because you'll make him rethink about marrying another woman. If you really believe that this is the right choice (which is to tell him), then I think you should do it. Tell him that you're only doing this because you wanted to get it all out, and that you don't mean to do any harm to his relationship with this woman he's marrying because of the family.
all smiles.
#3
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 07:25 PM
QUOTE (sooDAMNgorgeous @ May 31 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
To make a long story short, my ex-boyfriend/ best friend is getting married. However, I'm still in love with him and it would break my heart if he does. A year ago, we went out for four months and ended our relationship because he said that he didn't have any special "feelings" for me. At first I took it hard, but after a while, I moved on. Ever since then, our relationship has grown into a "best friend" sort of relationship. We dated ther people, however, still made time for eachother. And whenever there were problems that we each wanted to talk about, we talked to each other about them. Though he's my best friend now, my feelings have never changed. I'm not so sure if he feels the same though. (But who calls someone every night if they don't have some kind of feeling for that person?)
A few weeks ago, he went to Cambodia, where he has to meet his future fiancee. They were engaged since they were younger and his mother wants him to help her side of the family come over to America. Since he's been there, I realized that I'm in love with him. I can't live without him and all I think about is him.
But he's getting married soon. And I don't know if I should confess my feelings to him. I know that it wouldn't make any difference to his family's decision for him, but I feel that it would give me some relief from my anxiety. What do you guys think? Should I tell him?
One more question... I've been wandering about it since he left. Does he have feelings for me? He calls me every night. And as soon as he got to Cambodia, he called me. He told me that aside from his mother, he only calls me. He doesn't call his other guy friends or closer friends. And one day, I told him that I wanted a relationship (I'm the only single one among all my friends... I feel very lonely sometimes). He became really angry and told me that he didn't want me to be in a relationship because he told me to wait. ????? Does he have feelings for me?
A few weeks ago, he went to Cambodia, where he has to meet his future fiancee. They were engaged since they were younger and his mother wants him to help her side of the family come over to America. Since he's been there, I realized that I'm in love with him. I can't live without him and all I think about is him.
But he's getting married soon. And I don't know if I should confess my feelings to him. I know that it wouldn't make any difference to his family's decision for him, but I feel that it would give me some relief from my anxiety. What do you guys think? Should I tell him?
One more question... I've been wandering about it since he left. Does he have feelings for me? He calls me every night. And as soon as he got to Cambodia, he called me. He told me that aside from his mother, he only calls me. He doesn't call his other guy friends or closer friends. And one day, I told him that I wanted a relationship (I'm the only single one among all my friends... I feel very lonely sometimes). He became really angry and told me that he didn't want me to be in a relationship because he told me to wait. ????? Does he have feelings for me?
you think he doesn't want to get married to this other person + perhaps you're better for him.
you think he still has feelings for you.
you think he wants you to confess to him.
the only thing stopping you is that you know it's all in your head.
o-0' hope is an ugly thing when it's not what one needs to get over another.
but eh. besides the "hollywood is not a guide on how to solve relationship problems" comment, i'll say that you should still tell him.. if it's the only way for this little dilemma to be solved.
it can't be done by yourself, if he's calling every night.
_
#4
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 07:27 PM
Are you satisfied ith the relationship you have with him? I mean, not being his girlfriend but being his "best friend" and maintaining this ambiguous relationship? I don't know, the guy sounds kind of selfish to me. He, who's telling you to wait for him, but is unable to confess any sort of feeling for you, and now going off to get married?? (even though the marriage doesn't sound like it's for love)
I think you should just go on and have a relationship with someone else and see what happens. I'm not sure if he has the same feelings as you, because guys tend to take advantage of a girl because they are there for them.
I am/was in this situation and unbeknownst to me, the guy began seriously dating this other girl without telling me and I suddenly became the other girl. So after I found out I just started to live my life and stopped talking to him completely. Still hurts but nothing i can do.
It seems to me he's taking advantage of you and keeping you on a string. Don't let him do that because you deserve to have a really wonderful relationship. If you're meant to be together, things will happen in the future even if he gets married right now. Just remember you are your own person and you can do whatever you want!
Sorry my thoughts seem scattered but I got lots to say!!
I think you should just go on and have a relationship with someone else and see what happens. I'm not sure if he has the same feelings as you, because guys tend to take advantage of a girl because they are there for them.
I am/was in this situation and unbeknownst to me, the guy began seriously dating this other girl without telling me and I suddenly became the other girl. So after I found out I just started to live my life and stopped talking to him completely. Still hurts but nothing i can do.
It seems to me he's taking advantage of you and keeping you on a string. Don't let him do that because you deserve to have a really wonderful relationship. If you're meant to be together, things will happen in the future even if he gets married right now. Just remember you are your own person and you can do whatever you want!
Sorry my thoughts seem scattered but I got lots to say!!
#5
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 07:47 PM
You should only tell him, if you want to marry him, like marry him as soon as you guys can. Otherwise I don't think it's a good idea to stop a wedding for anything less then that.
#6
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 08:09 PM
i know this is a serious situation, and i'm not trying to poke fun at you or anything, but please don't do it korean drama style, where's there's so much unneeded angst and sorrow. you might as well tell him now. i think you should iron out all the details. i mean, think of this as your one chance. if you don't tell him now, when exactly are you gonna tell him? i sure as heck hope not after he gets married, cuz that would be messed up. so speak now, or forever hold your peace. maybe i sound a little extreme, but please, let's be rational. you should get it off your chest.
#7
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 08:19 PM
You should let him know how you feel for him
Before it's too late and you'll regret it.
At least by talking to him about it, you get your answers.
If not, simply allow the pain and be try to be happy for happiness.
Get whatever answers you want now before he gets married.
Best wishes to you.
Before it's too late and you'll regret it.
At least by talking to him about it, you get your answers.
If not, simply allow the pain and be try to be happy for happiness.
Get whatever answers you want now before he gets married.
Best wishes to you.
heresy ♥♥♥ | icon: ©supakawaiigurl
Miss you, Soompi || Love&Hate; 5 years.
Miss you, Soompi || Love&Hate; 5 years.
#8
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 08:30 PM
is the wedding a formality? like fake wedding just so that the bride's family can go to america? is if is.........then you got nothing stopping you and him to be together (if the feeling is mutual)....but you shouldn't stop the wedding either...this affect lives of many people. it would be a test for your relationship ...being involve with a "married" man
if the wedding is for real....... the no, i don't think you should confess....just to relieve your anxiety. things like that would complicate your relationship and make the whole thing worse....better left unspoken. It seems like he does know how you feel about him. so a) straightforward..."he's not that into you...in that way" only see you as a friend or
he likes you in a romantic way but don't love you enough to go against his parents' plan. either way, don't tell him things that he already know, it wont make any difference.
i know it's hard.....if my friends is in this situation.....i would sit her down, and tell her to move on.
but if you feel like you can't hold it in anymore, and if you don't say it, it would be the biggest mistake of your life, and if you are willing to risk your friendship, then tell him and make it short and simple. ask him to man up and make a decision.
if the wedding is for real....... the no, i don't think you should confess....just to relieve your anxiety. things like that would complicate your relationship and make the whole thing worse....better left unspoken. It seems like he does know how you feel about him. so a) straightforward..."he's not that into you...in that way" only see you as a friend or
he likes you in a romantic way but don't love you enough to go against his parents' plan. either way, don't tell him things that he already know, it wont make any difference.i know it's hard.....if my friends is in this situation.....i would sit her down, and tell her to move on.
but if you feel like you can't hold it in anymore, and if you don't say it, it would be the biggest mistake of your life, and if you are willing to risk your friendship, then tell him and make it short and simple. ask him to man up and make a decision.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
#9
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 09:09 PM
umm.. your ex sounds like he's in an arranged marriage thing?.... then that means he really doesn't love that woman... therefore, he sholdn't get married to her.
#10
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 09:40 PM
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
I think that should say enough.
I think you should tell him because if you don't, he won't ever know and you won't ever know what could have happened. What's the worst that could happen if you tell him?
From what you're telling us about him, it sounds like he has feelings for you.
I think that should say enough.
I think you should tell him because if you don't, he won't ever know and you won't ever know what could have happened. What's the worst that could happen if you tell him?
From what you're telling us about him, it sounds like he has feelings for you.
#11
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 10:15 PM
QUOTE (muffinx3 @ May 31 2009, 12:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
I think that should say enough.
I think you should tell him because if you don't, he won't ever know and you won't ever know what could have happened. What's the worst that could happen if you tell him?
From what you're telling us about him, it sounds like he has feelings for you.
I think that should say enough.
I think you should tell him because if you don't, he won't ever know and you won't ever know what could have happened. What's the worst that could happen if you tell him?
From what you're telling us about him, it sounds like he has feelings for you.
bust through the doors
and scream "I OBJECT"
but on a more serious note:
tell him. tell him your feelings haven't change for him.
we don't know if he still likes you or not.
soompi isn't your ex-boyfriend..
unless he has a soompi account? ha.
but uhm. yeah, ask him.
but well.. if he said he didn't have special feelings for you.
wouldn't that say something. :l
oh hi.
#12
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Posted 30 May 2009 - 11:21 PM
I feel really sorry for you, it must be tough to be in that situation. On one side he IS calling you everynight. but on the other side he probably WILL marry someone else. ehm..ok, The relationship you guys had before, was it good? I mean was it that good that you want to put him in a situation where he gets confused? Cause although you may love him and things, was the relationship between you really worth all the things that will happen after you tell him? The reason you broke up with him because he didnt have any special feelings for you..Do you think he has the now? Maybe you dont want a relationship with him, but the current friendship that you have with him, will it change after you tell this? I mean in a negative way? There are many things you must think about before you tell him about your feelings. I hope you will make the right decision and wish you the best of luck!
x.
x.
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with a toeff of Sweet!
....Its pudding!!
#13
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 12:32 AM
Sorry to put it like this, but this is a LOSE, LOSE...proposition, imo.
He seems like a guy who is very loyal to his family, so I don't think he will go against their wishes.....LOSE!!!
By him telling you to wait for him only shows his selfishness.....LOSE!!!
I can go on, but I think you get the point.
I'm not saying it is impossible, but from the looks of it...You're the one who will end up getting hurt the most.
He seems like a guy who is very loyal to his family, so I don't think he will go against their wishes.....LOSE!!!
By him telling you to wait for him only shows his selfishness.....LOSE!!!
I can go on, but I think you get the point.
I'm not saying it is impossible, but from the looks of it...You're the one who will end up getting hurt the most.
#14
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 01:42 AM
QUOTE (muffinx3 @ May 30 2009, 10:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
I think that should say enough.
I think you should tell him because if you don't, he won't ever know and you won't ever know what could have happened. What's the worst that could happen if you tell him?
From what you're telling us about him, it sounds like he has feelings for you.
I think that should say enough.
I think you should tell him because if you don't, he won't ever know and you won't ever know what could have happened. What's the worst that could happen if you tell him?
From what you're telling us about him, it sounds like he has feelings for you.
I guess you should tell him... since... if he becomes a married man, your confession to him will be too late and you'll be regret that you never told him about your feelings for him.. cuz once he's married, he can't just leave his wife.
Even if you decide to tell him, don't expect anything though.
But I do wish you lots of good luck!
#15
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 02:05 AM
There is no easy way out of this.
If I were you, I wouldn't say a thing. You'll get over it eventually.
Wait until emotions run dry, and you're able to think logically.
There are plenty of fish out in the sea. You don't need him, but you want him.
Find somebody better, and you'll get over it soon...
If I were you, I wouldn't say a thing. You'll get over it eventually.
Wait until emotions run dry, and you're able to think logically.
There are plenty of fish out in the sea. You don't need him, but you want him.
Find somebody better, and you'll get over it soon...
#16
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 08:08 AM
tell him before he gets married
stopping the marriage is better than breaking it
you will toture urself with "what if" if u dont tell him
and if he rejects, then u can finally move on
goodluck
stopping the marriage is better than breaking it
you will toture urself with "what if" if u dont tell him
and if he rejects, then u can finally move on
goodluck
i love to love
#17
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 08:18 AM
QUOTE (h0ney @ May 31 2009, 10:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
tell him before he gets married
stopping the marriage is better than breaking it
you will toture urself with "what if" if u dont tell him
and if he rejects, then u can finally move on
goodluck
stopping the marriage is better than breaking it
you will toture urself with "what if" if u dont tell him
and if he rejects, then u can finally move on
goodluck
i agree
tell me him before he gets married.
see what he will say.
if not you wil regret it forever
but seriously im sorry something like this happens to you.
#18
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 09:27 AM
You really need to let him know before he gets married and basically brand yourself a "homewrecker".
If he calls you every night, it shows that he cares about you and thinks about you enough to call and check in.
But time is ticking; you better confess before it's too late.
If he calls you every night, it shows that he cares about you and thinks about you enough to call and check in.
But time is ticking; you better confess before it's too late.
#19
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 09:43 AM
well it would be different if he didn't have any feelings for the person he's marrying.
you could go for it but it would make things so much more complicated
& you dont even know if he feels the same way.
you could go for it but it would make things so much more complicated
& you dont even know if he feels the same way.
#20
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Posted 31 May 2009 - 10:42 AM
from this, it sounds like he still likes u... i mean i don't believe guys and girls can really be best friends (unless the guy is gay)... why would he call only u (aside from his mother)?
doesn't sound like he loves this other person either... but u have to be careful to make sure that if you do confess, it won't make ur friendship with him awkward, maybe ask him in a hypothetical situation?
doesn't sound like he loves this other person either... but u have to be careful to make sure that if you do confess, it won't make ur friendship with him awkward, maybe ask him in a hypothetical situation?
