[meowmeow723]

Yeah, but no matter how "American" we are, the rest of the America don't consider us Asians...Americans. They are still judging us based on our race/ethnicity. I can not tell you as to how many people came up to me in my lifetime and asked me what I am and where I am from... I say im from ma, but they are like "no really... where r u from originally?"

It gets really annoying. Just today in Applebee's, this waitress tried to speak to me in Chinese... im like wtf??
I mean seriously, do they do that to white people and just randomly speak to them in German or French?
Or to black folks, do people go up and try to speak some random mini cooper"?
I am a US citizen, and I was born in MA. Stop speaking to me in random chinese-made up words and do hello-kitty at me!

Honestly, many Asian-Americans go through these ignorance and racism... We don't feel accepted. That's why so many of us asian-americans go into that "yeah! asian-pride!" in their adolescent and college years. B/c we want to get that comfort of being surrounded by people that look like us. But then, if you don't speak the language, then u r screwed too.

I understand that we only make up like what 7% (im making that up, but i know it's really small) of american population, but really, we are consistently questioned by our fellow americans... and really it is not comforting.

[little mixed girl]

^
because asians are the ONLY group of people in the US to be asked where they are from?
i've been complemented on my english, asked when i came to the US, asked what country i'm from, hugged by foreign women because i look like their kid, etc so many times that i've lost count.

there are a lot of people who will assume that asians are foreigners. but within that group, how many of those people are from towns made up of only black or only white people?

[HaplessChild]

Yeah, but no matter how "American" we are, the rest of the America don't consider us Asians...Americans. They are still judging us based on our race/ethnicity. I can not tell you as to how many people came up to me in my lifetime and asked me what I am and where I am from... I say im from ma, but they are like "no really... where r u from originally?"

It gets really annoying. Just today in Applebee's, this waitress tried to speak to me in Chinese... im like wtf??
I mean seriously, do they do that to white people and just randomly speak to them in German or French?
Or to black folks, do people go up and try to speak some random mini cooper"?
I am a US citizen, and I was born in MA. Stop speaking to me in random chinese-made up words and do hello-kitty at me!

Honestly, many Asian-Americans go through these ignorance and racism... We don't feel accepted. That's why so many of us asian-americans go into that "yeah! asian-pride!" in their adolescent and college years. B/c we want to get that comfort of being surrounded by people that look like us. But then, if you don't speak the language, then u r screwed too.

I understand that we only make up like what 7% (im making that up, but i know it's really small) of american population, but really, we are consistently questioned by our fellow americans... and really it is not comforting.

This happens to anyone of color that's not distinctly black or white American. I've been with my [Chinese] bf for a year now. I've never heard a single person ask him where he's from. I'm American and people are constantly asking me if I'm Moroccan, Ethiopian, Filipina... Just a few months ago I had a woman yell at me to go back to where ever I came from. I was born a citizen. I'm not Asian.

Most people can spot a hispanic in a crowd and can guess where they're from by the density of that nationality's population in the area. For example, in Alexandria VA, we have a lot of El Salvadorians and almost no Mexicans, so people can usually make an educated guess. Except for places like CA and NY, Asian populations usually aren't divvied up they was hispanic communities are. However, usually, there's more Chinese than anything else so it SEEMS a safe assumption. Unless you're in NOVA, in which case we've got more Vietnamese and Korean...

And yes, if someone has a distinctly German or French name, I promise you people try to talk to them in said tongue. It's not meant to be offensive. [usually] They are trying to connect to you on a level of "oh, hey, I'm not completely ignorant and I'm kind of interested in what I perceive your culture to be, so joke and kid around with me, teach me a thing or two."

The other reason for this is that the Asian community is no where near as large nor as integrated into American society as the hispanic community. Hispanics make sure their voice is heard and they are accounted for. The Asian community [generally speaking] is seemingly contented to sit inside of itself and operate around the rest of us rather than with/ beside/ inside us.

[kerupi]

What is your race/ethnicity?
Poly/Asian

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
The good aspects, yes.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
Yes, I will if I can.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
Yes, I would teach them.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
Its pertinence in terms of the situation at hand. I'd have to consider the ethics - would really depend.


---

To me heritage is only as important to me as the health and well being of my family. And blood don't make family. I will try to maintain, document and pass on all knowledge of my ancestry but it is a bit hard when I am still trying to discover it myself. Personally, culture is more than being an ethnicity.

[Aerolite]

What is your race/ethnicity?
- Filipino-American, born and raised in the US.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
- Yes, most likely. I didn't have super strict 'asian' parents, however they had rules fair enough to raise me well. My parents learned to assimilate themselves into western culture soon after they immigrated, and never taught my brother and I how to speak our native language (Tagalog). Though now, I feel that it's unfortunate I cannot relate or communicate with my relatives back home...I don't feel any less Filipino just because I am not as educated as others from my culture.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
- Only what I know. My parents were one of the only from their immediate families to start new lives in the States...So I'm pretty distant from my direct aunts, uncles, and their children. I know certain traditions but I guess you could say I haven't had enough real life experience to practice or need to use them. If anything I would encourage my children to participate in activities or organizations to be aware of their culture, but I won't emphasize it because my parents didn't for me.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
- Seeing as I had made an effort to try to learn two other languages, I think I should really try to learn Tagalog. I probably won't reach enough fluency to converse with my children, but if anything I would at least teach them basic words, phrases, and greetings that are out of respect...Which is basically all I know at the moment anyway.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
- I keep it to myself usually, because most of the time such comments about beliefs come from my elders who are more old fashioned...So out of respect I don't say anything. However if it's something really pressing or out of the line then I think I might just be coerced to comment.


-------

Anyway, I'm proud of how my parents raised me and think that they have enabled me to be more free thinking and open minded about how to view life. They praised Filipino culture but have never forced me or made me feel guilty about not knowing a lot about it. In fact, when other relatives look down on me by trying to make me feel bad or inadequate, my parents are always there to support and defend for me. In the end, I believe culture helps you understand more of who you are and where you came from...But it shouldn't necessarily define how to live your life.

[dancingbymyself]

What is your race/ethnicity?

Korean/American. Quite literally, my dad is American and my Mom is Korean

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?

I want to take the good parts of how they raised me, and try to avoid the bad parts.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

I think i will teach them in a natural way. Not by force and rote, but doing the actions at the appropriate time,
and explaining to them what I am doing.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?

I'm trying to improve my Korean now, lol because once you start getting into your 20's idk... it seems weird to not be able to speak in Korean.

As for English... yea I speak it fluently, and my kids are gonna learn it too... because I live in America and most likely they will to... so...


If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?

I don;t think we have any beliefs that come in conflict lol. But since my parents have more experience then me
at raising kids, I will probably take what they say into consideration and then make a decision.

[Dr Facepalm]

interesting thread i literally read like every post in it -
I think it all just comes down to something simple. You are what: people who brought you up(parents, other relatives, neighbors, teachers), what neighborhood/area(s) you grew up in, the people that were around you, the actual genes in your cells that you got from your family.

Well obviously if you grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood, and had mostly white friends, you probably would think of yourself more aligned with white people instead of whatever ethnicity that is in your blood.

If it was the opposite and you grew up in Flushing, Queens and lets say you were Korean and you surrounded yourself only with other Koreans; you would probably consider yourself Korean and not have much at all connections with the other ethnicities in America.

I mean there really is no right or wrong in this topic is there?

Also one thing, if anyone wants to be technical, you can be considered "American" no matter what your alignment is (that's if you live in this country). Like there are many people that never really learn english and choose to only speak their ethnic language. I mean no matter how much they want to deny it, if they are a permanent resident here you are an American.

One thing that annoys me to no end is how people consider themselves "American" or say like "o i've lived with americans my whole life and etc etc so im american and not so and so ethnicity"
White people are not the only "americans". Say that you lived in a white neighborhood and that you feel more connected with whites then whatever ethnicity that your parents etc might be.

You don't see people that lived in like bronx and hung out with Puerto Ricans and say "O i'm more American, i hung out with ricans more". the point on this one is that you are always American anyway, saying you feel more american then whatever doesn't really make sense.

[vasou]

What is your race/ethnicity? I am caucasian.My ethnicity is Greek.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?Yes, but of course according to the standards of the present.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family? Defenately. Especially among Greeks, traditions and culture is what kept Greeks alive through thousands of years, since their existance.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?Yes, I think language is a part of our culture, and we should cherish this culture.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
Depends on the issue and the moment. It is really something you cannot tell.

[younglove]

This is tricky for me. I'm multi-racial with most of my genetic makeup coming from my Romani heritage. For those who don't know, Romani people are discriminated against in nearly every country where they have settled and are often killed with no consequences for the killers. For this reason and other personal ones, my father didn't teach the culture to me and thus I don't think I would to my kids.

My partner (being Vietnamese) would probably want our kids to learn Vietnamese and I probably wouldn't speak Calo or Spanish in the house so I'd be happy for them to focus on that side of themselves. If they asked I would tell them as much as I could but I don't think it would be something I'd actively try and enforce.

[HaplessChild]

This is tricky for me. I'm multi-racial with most of my genetic makeup coming from my Romani heritage. For those who don't know, Romani people are discriminated against in nearly every country where they have settled and are often killed with no consequences for the killers. For this reason and other personal ones, my father didn't teach the culture to me and thus I don't think I would to my kids.

My partner (being Vietnamese) would probably want our kids to learn Vietnamese and I probably wouldn't speak Calo or Spanish in the house so I'd be happy for them to focus on that side of themselves. If they asked I would tell them as much as I could but I don't think it would be something I'd actively try and enforce.

This is the part that all the people screaming "ZOMG, ethnicity is so important! Race is so important! Culture is so important!" don't/ can't understand.

[EAU]

This is the part that all the people screaming "ZOMG, ethnicity is so important! Race is so important! Culture is so important!" don't/ can't understand.

Yes, keeping culture is important. That user should take some time and ask their parents / grandparents about how they grew up and what their family has taught them. What traditions did they follow etc etc. Then its up to you.

But I do see why you keep it hidden because of the savage discrimination your parents, and grandparents have faced. But it is still important to know, and when your children come of age you should tell them.

Also, spanish is a very widely used language in the world, you should teach some to them. There aren't many Spanish-Vietnamese fluent people out there. You can really increase your childs chance for future success by teaching them.

DreamingSaturn, if someone feels like their culture and heritage is important, why denounce them?If you really don't care about your own then thats fine.

A new ideology in America made Multi-Culturalism mean not being able to see race, and blinding yourself to other cultures. What a shame - i cant imagine seeing the world in color, but in a dull gray. Just cause someone sees race, does not mean they are racist.

[younglove]

I know about my culture and where we came from but it has caused me nothing my great personal and emotional distress. The majority of the world doesn't even consider us human and the rest have no idea who we are. Why would I want to put my children through that? When we did the holocaust in school, my teacher had no idea that Romani people were killed not only by the nazi's but Franco and Mussolini. I'm not going to go into it but my outburst in class caused a blight on my name and people were very cruel.

I would not want my kids to be over a friends house who happens to be of European decent to have them mention their heritage in passing and then be subject to that type of discrimination.

I do think it's important for their own identity to know but at the same time you have to understand that there is a large chunk of heartache that comes along with the knowledge.

I personally couldn't do that to my own kids. You may disagree but then again you've never had to live life as a Romani person. It's so bad that most people who are Romani hide it and I know of people who are Romani but will never be told at the request of their parents.

[HaplessChild]

Yes, keeping culture is important. That user should take some time and ask their parents / grandparents about how they grew up and what their family has taught them. What traditions did they follow etc etc. Then its up to you.

But I do see why you keep it hidden because of the savage discrimination your parents, and grandparents have faced. But it is still important to know, and when your children come of age you should tell them.

Also, spanish is a very widely used language in the world, you should teach some to them. There aren't many Spanish-Vietnamese fluent people out there. You can really increase your childs chance for future success by teaching them.

DreamingSaturn, if someone feels like their culture and heritage is important, why denounce them?If you really don't care about your own then thats fine.

A new ideology in America made Multi-Culturalism mean not being able to see race, and blinding yourself to other cultures. What a shame - i cant imagine seeing the world in color, but in a dull gray. Just cause someone sees race, does not mean they are racist.

It's not about denouncing anything. The problem is people often can't draw the line between holding their own dear and looking down on others. Hence you end up with people saying things like "I would never date/ marry outside of my race because I don't want [my children] to lose my culture." It's not the pride that's the problem, it's the exclusivity that comes with it. Then those of us that are of genuinely a melange of backgrounds are expected to do what? Speak 12 languages? Feel awful because our parents sexed out?

[EAU]

I know about my culture and where we came from but it has caused me nothing my great personal and emotional distress. The majority of the world doesn't even consider us human and the rest have no idea who we are. Why would I want to put my children through that? When we did the holocaust in school, my teacher had no idea that Romani people were killed not only by the nazi's but Franco and Mussolini. I'm not going to go into it but my outburst in class caused a blight on my name and people were very cruel.

I would not want my kids to be over a friends house who happens to be of European decent to have them mention their heritage in passing and then be subject to that type of discrimination.

I do think it's important for their own identity to know but at the same time you have to understand that there is a large chunk of heartache that comes along with the knowledge.

I personally couldn't do that to my own kids. You may disagree but then again you've never had to live life as a Romani person. It's so bad that most people who are Romani hide it and I know of people who are Romani but will never be told at the request of their parents.

Sorry to hear that, I understand if you want to keep it secret.

Personally, I wouldnt let the doctrine of someone who preached hate and intolerance towards other ethnicity, culture and peoples resonate throughout my life like that. Niether am I shallow enough to care about what another person says about me. But thats just me.

But now I'm curious as to why Romanis are so discriminated against. I'm gonna do some research lol.

[HaplessChild]

Sorry to hear that, I understand if you want to keep it secret.

Personally, I wouldnt let the doctrine of someone who preached hate and intolerance towards other ethnicity, culture and peoples resonate throughout my life like that. Niether am I shallow enough to care about what another person says about me. But thats just me.

But now I'm curious as to why Romanis are so discriminated against. I'm gonna do some research lol.

You've heard of them. They're called gypsies.

Like the phrase "oh man, he gyped me!" It's a term that people don't realize is actually super derogatory.

[EAU]

It's not about denouncing anything. The problem is people often can't draw the line between holding their own dear and looking down on others. Hence you end up with people saying things like "I would never date/ marry outside of my race because I don't want [my children] to lose my culture." It's not the pride that's the problem, it's the exclusivity that comes with it. Then those of us that are of genuinely a melange of backgrounds are expected to do what? Speak 12 languages? Feel awful because our parents sexed out?

I don't expect anything from you, but you seem to feel it.

Well actually, when I meet a multi racial people. I expected him to know a lot about foreign cultures and have an ear for spotting languages that would seem indistinguishable to the average person. I was wrong sometimes, and sometimes I would be right. But I don't hate them or EXCLUDE them from my friends and buddy lists cause they don't know it.

[HaplessChild]

I don't expect anything from you, but you seem to feel it.

Well actually, when I meet a multi racial people. I expected him to know a lot about foreign cultures and have an ear for spotting languages that would seem indistinguishable to the average person. I was wrong sometimes, and sometimes I would be right. But I don't hate them or EXCLUDE them from my friends and buddy lists cause they don't know it.

Which is exactly my point. You shouldn't expect anything from anyone.

Perhaps you don't exclude people from your friend/ dating pools but A LOT do. A lot encourage it.

[EAU]

You've heard of them. They're called gypsies.

Like the phrase "oh man, he gyped me!" It's a term that people don't realize is actually super derogatory.

Oh well theres a term I'm more familiar with.


And I always thought when people said "Gyped" it was spelled "Jipped" and had something to do with some sort of famous smooth-talking marketer from an old movie lol.

[younglove]

Yeah, the term gypsy is very derogatory. In most languages the term for "gypsy" usually translates to "dirty" "dishonest" or "evil" and people use it very freely through out the world. The more research you do the more my points will make sense and you'll see why it's not as simple as "not letting people's opinions get to me".

But I digress that these fears are a bit irrational on my part since most multi-ethnic people learn to rise above notions of race and culture as pointed out above.

[HaplessChild]

Yeah, the term gypsy is very derogatory. In most languages the term for "gypsy" usually translates to "dirty" "dishonest" or "evil" and people use it very freely through out the world. The more the research the more my points will make sense and you'll see why it's not as simple as "not letting people's opinions get to me".

But I digress that these fears are a bit irrational on my part since most multi-ethnic people learn to rise above notions of race and culture as pointed out above.

I understand exactly what you're talking about though. My family is originally from Spain and Portugal so I know about the discrimination that you're talking about. I've heard people say awful things.

My grandfather came to the States in the late 50's or early 60's when racism here was still rampant and thick. He didn't teach his children their background or the language because he wanted what was best for them: to be able to pass as white American in a country that was not accepting of outside races. He made them American and he did it for the right reasons. He didn't teach them to be something they're not. He raised them to be something else; citizens of the country they lived in instead of immigrants from another.