[sophia.pink]

alright, i have never posted a topic, but i figure this would actually be beneficial.

my friend (yes, my friend, not me) macy* and i have been friends since elementary.
the thing is, when elementary was over and middle school came around, we kind of drifted.
it wasn't that we weren't friends, it was just that we weren't in the same classes together or anything like that anymore so we just hung out with different people and everything. during that time, she apparently started being best friends with this other girl, casey*. this girl is the type that, if you have the ability to tell like i do, comes across as very fake and manipulative. matter of fact, she is. trust me on that.

anyways, skipping ahead to now, we just finished 10th grade and i am now super close with macy* again. the problem is that she is still clinging onto her "friendship" with casey*. i'm by far not the jealous type, its nothing like that, but it really hurts me that she is still on such terms with her because of how she is treated.

casey* is always getting drunk at parties and making a fool out of herself, saying things that aren't true about her so called bff macy*, and she even acts so disrespectful to peoples parents, including macy's. the last party i was at with both of them, casey* told the parent of the birthday girl that macy* gave some guy a bj and it isn't even true. she only did it to get the negative attention off of herself because she had taken alcohol from someone at the party and the parent saw it. i mean, come on, that should be an obvious factor in why you need to start drifing from a friend. who says that (true or not) to someones parent???!

i could ellaborate more on why they should be drifting but i am trying to be somewhat brief. i have talked to her, so have our other friends. i told her that i am not judging her or anything, but in the end we had a pretty deep and convincing talk about it, and macy* said that she really did need to start drifting from casey* but it would be hard.

this was great to hear at the time, but a week later what do you know, macy* and casey* walk past my friend holding hands like amazing friends down the hallway. when my friend told me this we were really upset and mad because we just hate to see her being so manipulated.

the only way i could describe it is that macy* is under casey's* thumb and she just can't get out of it, even though deep down i know that she knows she doesn't need a "friend" like that. she said she is thankful for my advice and all, but i was looking for some feedback.

the reason it's a little hard for me to come up with something to say that might be a little more convincing to her is because i was in a similar situation before, with someone else. they were my best friend but they just changed and i totally understand that it sucks but my friend macy* just has to realize that she is going to end up losing the friends that actually care about her! it makes me really sad that she can't just accept it and move on, even though it took me forever too. i just don't want her to ignore it anymore.

if anyone could tell me some advice that i could give her, or if they have been in a similar situation as me, i think it would really be helpful. i just don't want my friend to change for the worse, just because she is being manipulated by a so-called friend that isn't really a good friend at all.

thank you!

[missie_ko_ko]

O I see.
From what I think since you and your friends already talked to her and she's still not listening then
if anything bad happens again then it's her own fault. You gals had the courage to go and tell her your feelings but she still
doesn't listen then what can you do?
I think you should still be good friends with her cause you never know when she'll need you when her so called friend stab her in the back.

[AngieK]

So why exactly would Macy lose the friends who do care about her just because she's friends with Casey? I never quite understood this. Sure, you may not like Casey but why in the world would you stop being friends with Macy just because she chooses to be friends with Casey?

In any case. You cannot control who Macy wants to befriend. You may not like Casey and how she treats Macy, but you can't force Macy to stop hanging out with Casey. If you keep doing that you'll only push Macy further and further away from you. You've already talked to her about it and now it's up to her to choose her own path in life. Just keep being a good friend to her and keep telling her how you feel but do not try and force your ideas onto her. You can express that you don't like the way Casey treats her but in the end it's her decision whether she wants to do anything about it or not.

I know it sucks, not being able to help out people you care about but that's how life is. All you can do is keep standing by her and giving her a positive influence and hopefully she'll realize who is a better friend to her in the future.

[sophia.pink]

Thanks and I agree with what you guys are saying. I mean, there isn't much I can do at all. And when I said she could loose her real friends, I mean she could just become so absorbed in this other girl that she would be the one to drift from us. I wouldn't drop her just because of Casey*, because obviously I could have done that by now. But thanks for the responses!

[angels.disguise]

theres really nothing that you can do.
it has to be macy's decision to let go of casey.
just watch from the sidelines.

[Smelly Tofu]

this is so confusing...usually i don't care much about my firends decision..unless they asked i won't give any advice

i think macy will get it sorted out one day

[damyoungji]

I don't blame you for being upset and angry at how Macy is not opening up her eyes and stepping up to Casey and calling off the friendship or something. However, there is not much for you to do but to be by Macy side in case anything happens. Sooner or later, she will not stand up for Casey's attitude towards her as well as the rumor her "dear friend" spreads about her. There is no way to force the two of them apart but to encourage Macy to have courage and not to be under Casey's thumb. It seems like Macy is rather timid and she is more of a follower? Hopefully she will grow out of it soon and realize that people like Casey are not worth being friends with. That is, unless the person is someone like Casey himself/herself.

What is happening to you reminds me of the movie, "Odd Girl Out". I think it is a pretty good movie ~ It is basically the best friend of the most popular girl in school being back-stabbed by her circle of "friends" after they misunderstood her connection with the most popular guy in school. Casey reminds me off the (ahem) in the movie while Macy reminds me of the protagonist - that is, in terms of being under Casey's thumb. Hopefully Macy will be like the protagonist and will step up for herself.

[sophia.pink]

I don't blame you for being upset and angry at how Macy is not opening up her eyes and stepping up to Casey and calling off the friendship or something. However, there is not much for you to do but to be by Macy side in case anything happens. Sooner or later, she will not stand up for Casey's attitude towards her as well as the rumor her "dear friend" spreads about her. There is no way to force the two of them apart but to encourage Macy to have courage and not to be under Casey's thumb. It seems like Macy is rather timid and she is more of a follower? Hopefully she will grow out of it soon and realize that people like Casey are not worth being friends with. That is, unless the person is someone like Casey himself/herself.

What is happening to you reminds me of the movie, "Odd Girl Out". I think it is a pretty good movie ~ It is basically the best friend of the most popular girl in school being back-stabbed by her circle of "friends" after they misunderstood her connection with the most popular guy in school. Casey reminds me off the (ahem) in the movie while Macy reminds me of the protagonist - that is, in terms of being under Casey's thumb. Hopefully Macy will be like the protagonist and will step up for herself.

Thanks, you are totally right. I should watch that movie haha. I honestly do hope that everything works out. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person at my school that isn't drama/popularity hungry but I'm probably not the only one. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?? Hahah, but thanks all for the replies and everything. ( :