[shortstufflai]

Ok I'm going to summarise everything haha.

I went out with this guy for about 8months or so, we were good at first and then everything kind've went downhill and we ended just arguing 24/7. Eventually I got sick and tired of all the arguing that I just ended the relationship and stopped talking to him.

So after a couple of months not talking (about 2-3?), he randomly calls me up to meet up and go cinemas because he wanted to be my friend again. Since I hold grudges for crazy long times I said no. Then he carried on calling me everyday (nearly anyway) to try fix our friendship (we were friends before we broke up). So eventually I decided to meet up with him because I did miss his company because he's funnily weird hahaha.

Anyway, so we just talked about if we had a boyfriend/girlfriend and stuff like that and how life's been etc etc. So then the topic of our relationship came up and we talked about how freakin long we were together for and we laughed at random memories we had...

Then we talked about how many relationships we've had in the last 2years and he said about went out with about 5. I was one of them, and I found out that some of the other girls he was with corresponded with the months I was together with him... So I stayed silent trying to think about it. Then I asked him about who it was, how long, what they did etc etc.

Now this is the part that pissed me off. He slept with two of them, did other things I don't want to mention and while this happened he was going out with me. So either I'm stupid, thinking we were still together or he's stupid because he just told me he cheated on me, kind've. I know for a fact we were still together because there was no official break-up, but this was around the time we got into frequent arguments...

Anyway, I haven't mentioned that that was the time we were together because I don't know how to take on this situation. Right now we're ok-ish friends, not exactly best-of-friends but whatever. I don't know whether to start ignoring him again because he DID cheat on me, technically anyway, but we've already broke up so should it matter?

I'm a cross between angry, confused, betrayed and annoyed.
Forgive and forget? Act like it doesn't matter? Pretend it never happened?
OR
Confront him? Ignore him?

Suggestions =/ ?

[demllequ]

gosh he's such an ass.
I dont think you should be friends with him anyway, what good use would he be as a friend if he couldnt even be a proper boyfriend!

[xsusanz]

there really is nothing you can do because he's no longer your boyfriend and i dont think you want to take back a guy like that, anyways. I suppose you could confront him and just tell him how cheap that was for him to cheat on you like that and what makes him think it's okay to tell you now just cause you broke up? But I wouldn't expect him to be sorry or anything. If I were you, I would just keep my distance because I would need time to cool off and maybe way later in the future, be able to forgive. It probably will be on your mind a whole lot and you might never be able to forgive him but it's okay. What kind of boyfriend was he to cheat on you? what kind of friend is he, too? Not a very good one, I think is the answer to those questions.

i would be fine to never remain friends with him.

[lastdrop]

if it was me i really wouldn't care...
i'd still be his friend because i forgive him for everything that he's done...
even if they were really bad...
and i'd just go past it all...
it wouldn't really matter anymore...

[shortstufflai]

gosh he's such an ass.
I dont think you should be friends with him anyway, what good use would he be as a friend if he couldnt even be a proper boyfriend!

I found out he was a a-hole too late i guess...
Hmm, thats true. If he couldn't be a good, loyal boyfriend to me...
Its highly unlikely he'll be loyal as a friend either.
Thanks!

there really is nothing you can do because he's no longer your boyfriend and i dont think you want to take back a guy like that, anyways. I suppose you could confront him and just tell him how cheap that was for him to cheat on you like that and what makes him think it's okay to tell you now just cause you broke up? But I wouldn't expect him to be sorry or anything. If I were you, I would just keep my distance because I would need time to cool off and maybe way later in the future, be able to forgive. It probably will be on your mind a whole lot and you might never be able to forgive him but it's okay. What kind of boyfriend was he to cheat on you? what kind of friend is he, too? Not a very good one, I think is the answer to those questions.

i would be fine to never remain friends with him.

Thanks for the suggestion, I think I'm going confront him about it first and then see how he responds before taking any further action... But I think I'm most likely to end the friendship because the trust is officaly gone. To be honest, our relationship pretty much sucked 70% of the time.
I highly doubt I will remain friends with him... I haven't spoken to him for a couple of days now after I found out. Its too awkward to even look at him properly now.

if it was me i really wouldn't care...
i'd still be his friend because i forgive him for everything that he's done...
even if they were really bad...
and i'd just go past it all...
it wouldn't really matter anymore...

I guess I can try to forgive but I hold grudges for a very long time... What I found out hurt me, but since we're not going out anymore it doesn't hurt me as much as it should. I can try to forgive but I don't think I will eventually, but it depends on how he reacts to me confronting him.

[HaplessChild]

After we've already broken up I don't care. I found out my best girl friend had slept with my ex boyfriend. By the time I found out we had long been broken up so I didn't care and wasn't even upset about it though I was a little gratified that they both felt super guilty about it so many years later. I didn't hold it against either of them and stayed on good terms with both. *shrug*

[agnuque]

Yes. He is a jerk for fooling around while you guys were together but honestly, since you've already broken up, there's nothing you can do about it. Being angry or getting affected might make him think that you still have feelings for him - you know men's egos. Just let him know that you're not happy with what he did and and if he's still an ass about it, I don't see why you still have to try to patch things up with him :/

[naoto]

I've been through this sort of. You let go. Don't be hurt if you don't like him anymore. If it's over who cares what he did honestly, move on. Don't get held up by the past, how can there be new guys if you do that. Actually if a new guy liked you and you said you were hurt that your ex cheated, he would feel bad because you're still thinking about your ex while he is giving his heart to you. Not fair!

[Lie]

Go to their house and kick them in the privates.

[chickpeas]

I understand you're upset finding out what you did. But you guys have already broken up. It should no longer be a concern of yours. As for staying friends. Unless two people were really close friends before a romantic relationship. There is nothing gain by "staying" friends after.

[chungmonkey629]

if it was me, I would confront him. Not confront him in an angry way, but just try to clear up the questions that you may have. Because maybe he has an explanation. Maybe he thought you guys WERE broken up--(some idiots can think this way). Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he was sad. Maybe he needed some sort of physical satisfaction to fill the emotional gap that he was having due to you two's constant fighting. He may have an explanation, so I would just talk to him in a non-confrontational manner
If he just slept with those 2 girls for the heck of it, then nod your head, and move on. But make sure never to fall for him again. Forgive, but don't forget.

[jaeka]

It's been and gone. D: It'd be best to just, I don't know, you cannot really say anything or get mad, cause you're not with him anymore. :( That seriously must suck but you guys aren't a couple anymore, I wouldn't let it get you down. Be strong! (:

[lalaFLY_x3]

well i found out my ex cheated on me after we broke up for 2 months. and that was around the time he told me he started "losing feelings." well we're not in great terms right now but it's just because i pushed him out of my life for dishonesty. honest to say, unless you still care a lot about him, you should just leave it alone as it is. i mean you two broke up already and stuff. you shouldn't really continue to harbor the anger within yourself.

[damyoungji]

Confront him or ignore him. It depends on whether you still want to remain as friends though.

He is a (ahem) either way. I have no clue why he told you, but it sounds as though he was boasting about himself? If it is, he has a serious ego.

[MaryMagdalin]

its not good to keep friends with smeone like that if you get upset
i found out after my ex dumped me ... that he dumped me for another girl lol
altho we talk occasionally ( and i mean OCCASIONALLy... we correspond a few words ever half year lol)
i wouldnt consider him a good friend.
and i dont want to be his good friend again.

[Overclocked]

'the truth will set you free', so just let the whole world know. post it on Facebook. it's not for his own good, although it might, but it's for the good of the next gf/bf. Besides, everyone likes fame, don't they? it's not libel if it's true.

[ALYSSA]

Whats the point in confronting him? He was the one who told you the truth, you didn't just find out on your own. At least he told you! What's done is done, get over it since you no longer want him back.

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

I would cut all contact with him because he sucks as a boyfriend and I wouldn't want to deal with him as friend.

[xyunaxfantasiesx]

I think there's really only one of two things that you can do. One, confront him and push him out of your life because you don't need a friend like that. Two, simply ignore it since you two aren't together anymore, hide your hurt, and try to remain friends if you still really care for him. Honestly though, he doesn't seem worth it. If I were you, I would confront him and hear his side of the story. If he really did cheated, then tell him off in a calm manner--keeping your composure--and then push him out of your life. I would show him that you're not a fool who would still be friends with someone like him.

[wicked_]

Yes he is a jerk for treating you like that, especially since you two were dating and he fooled around with multiple girls, but what is the use in confronting him? It's not like he can go back and erase what he did- if he could there wouldn't be any cases of bad ex's- so really all you can do is just try to move on and learn from this experience. You don't always have to be friends with everyone you've dated and broken up with so really if you and him end up never contacting each other again it's not that big of a deal- unless you really want him in your life still. Then I say talk it over with him, make him acknowledge the fact that you are extremely hurt and maybe you'll feel better somehow.