[AdoboKimchi]

strangely i feel more comfortable talking this to strangers than my friends.
i guess it's sort of embarrassing asking advice from my friends.

but as the title says, when do you know you should give up on a crush?
there's this friend i liked 1 yr ago. scratch that..
more of an acquaintance because we chilled only few times.

i tried to hang out with her more,
but i could kind of tell she might have not wanted to because she always seemed to be busy.
and i'm the 소심한 type (소심하다: kind of sensitive on what people think and say about me)..
and if i get the feeling a person might by irritated or doesn't want to hang with me,
i'll stop immediately before they think i'm a creep or a stalker, ya know?
i have this crazy rule where i don't even call a girl more than twice in the same day if she doesn't pick up,
and only 1 text message until the girl replies back, and if i leave a voice message i do not call the girl at all for 1 week or until the girl calls before then..
because i don't want to seem like the obsessive type. i'm so not impulsive and need everything planned out at the fullest detail.

btw - this mightt be the reason, but the 1st time i hung out w/ her i was so excited; i thought i should have gone all out and spend as much money on her. i spent almost $400 that night. (when i like someone, my common senses are gone out the window and $$ isn't an issue). $300 on musical tickets and the rest on dinner and a small present (pepero, because it was pepero day). and i think that might have made her feel uncomfortable..because i didn't ask her on a date, i just asked her to chill. AND even if it was a date, guys don't normally spend that much on a 1st date. so i know, i'm dumb. like i said, was just overly excited.

anyways, after i kind of got the message, i decided to not talk to her for awhile before she thunk i was a weirdo or something.
so a year passed, as i said. she reappears again last month by chance. we talked a bit and she told me we should have dinner some time.
so we planed a day to eat. it was a simple day. eat, talk, laugh, watch 'up in 3d.' and instantly i fall for her all over again.

this time i planned it all out, that i wouldn't make the same mistake twice by going overboad.
ya know, just do small sweet stuff and be a good oppa to her, and when hanging out just do normal stuff this time.

so a week passed and i asked her to hang out with me the week after. she said that week she'd be busy, maybe the week after.
so that week passes, and i texted her if she is free to eat dinner with me the week when she said she might be free.
time passed, no response, and my 소심한 feeling is coming out again.

i want to be like those guys in korean dramas who are persistent and doesn't give up no matter how many times they're rejected.
but..like i said, i don't want her to think i'm a creep.

so when is it the time to give up a crush?
i don'ttt wanna give up..
but at the same time i feel it's hopeless.

[daulism]

sucks that life ain't a korean drama, eh?
the right time to give up on a crush is the moment you know that you can't never win the person's heart, possibly through multiple disappointments, and the goal is to get the "i know i can still have her" thought in the back of the mind.

and the right way to know when it's really hopeless.... is to ask her directly.

[xLOVEyu]

if you really wanted to be like those k-drama guys, you would have left her a message or straight up told her how long you've liked her for, all the crazy actions and thoughts that have been going through your mind because of her, the desperation, and how you'd like to get to know her better,etc. you probably aren't the type to do that, but if you don't speak up, it'll forever end up being a one-sided love you know?

my old crush liked me for a year and a half and never said one thing and we were sorta 'classmates,' not exactly 'friends' because he's ridiculously quiet and not as outgoing, but we had gone out once or twice with friends. he finally got frustrated and told me everything after that long period of time and the look on his face after saying everything was like pure bliss i remember haha, like everything was finally off of his shoulders.

but basically, i don't think you should just give up until you're able to get some kind of answer, whether it be good or bad. after you get the answer and reasoning straight from her, it'll sort of come to you whether you should keep putting in the effort to keep chasing. that's what my old crush told me.

hope that kind of helps :]

[_shineXO1]

If she really liked you, she'll go out of her way to meet or hang out with you.

[Aeiuchkvn]

If you have that much rules, you ARE obsessive.

When to give up? After you asked her out on a real date.

If she declines, give up and try another girl till your satisfied.

[moot11]

Life isn't a K-drama.

You pestering her isn't going to change her mind. Her reply has been pretty obvious.

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

you give up when NOTHING changes.

either approach in a different way or move on.

[AdoboKimchi]

alright im just going to pull the bandaid quick and tell her instead of prolonging this ridiculous thing. thanks guys.

[MUGETSU]

She's probably playing really hard to get.

Since you like her, you should at least tell her then figure out what to do from there.

Don't just give up.

What I would do is tell her, then if its no, then just end it there. At least you know what the final answer is straight from her mouth.

==========

On a side note. You're another old member of soompi haha I remember you posting a halloween costume as Se7en many years back.

[Kiss1235]

My friend was stuck in a similar situation, he spent loads on her o.O he took her to a Chris Brown concert and it was about £100 per ticket, he went over his bill by a £100 and god knows what else he has bought for her lol
He kept asking me to teach him how to get girls, I told him I've taught you everything and you have done everything ! I guess you should give up and save those pennys haha

[LazyAzian]

Give up?

Well I never really gave up, I just confessed, they said no, I was like, gtfo of my life, wasted my time ~

[angelaness]

You can try to be friendly with her and win her heart.
My boyfriend did that. He thought I was never interested in him hehhe.
ORRR if you really think nothing is gonna work out, or that she doesnt seem interested in you, just let go.
You definately should give up if she told you straight up that she doesnt like you.

[Yuyu<3]

Be more confident
That's all I was thinking while reading your story
Be yourself too
You don't have to be like those guys in the dramas
You can take pointers from them but still be yourself
Tell her how you feel and if she doesn't feel the same way
It's time to move on without any regrets

[dannn]

give up when u know it's not going anywhere

[Mannosuke]

so when is it the time to give up a crush?
i don'ttt wanna give up..
but at the same time i feel it's hopeless.

When it's economically disadvantageous (aka, opportunity cost for that time spent is too great).