[cookieXjar]

Okay so.. Recently Me & my boyfriend broke up... Well cause, I thought our relationship was dragging on for to long..

We would have fights atleast 3 times a week over stupid nonsense & we'd say sorry and stuff,
but the cycle continuously repeats itself again & again.
So the other night on the phone i told him everything on how I feel, yada yada.
At the end I told him I wanted to break up (it was like.. my 4th time saying it in our relationship -.-)
& He was like, are you serious..
I am a very very very stubborn person, although my heart doesn't REALLY want to let go,
I already said it so my head follows that instead.get it? well..
Yesterday was the day we separated for the 1st day. and I missed him so much.
We've only been together for 13 months but yet it felt like eternity &
well.. He's becoming a habit to be on the phone with..?
I can't sleep without him on the phone at night, so yeah..
Last night I couldn't fight myself so I had to call him to sleep on the phone >__>"
I hate myself for doing it, even though we're not together anymore.
I was wondering if it will be too late to turn back? We broke up 4 times,
and I wanted to get back 3 times. and all those break ups were my idea ;__;"
I know i know, i'm so freakin stupid.

I think the best is to let time pass & see what will happen ?
My question is is it too late to go back to him? or just let it go?
Advice? thanks. please don't be too harsh on my stupid actions on the paragraph ^

~~ Cookie

[AngelsWhisper]

You make this break up thing sound like your normal every day basis =/
You know for sure that you love him, right? First, figure out if he still likes you or not.
Talk it out with him and tell him you feel like how you express here on this post.
And if you ever get back with him. Let your pride down and let him win for once

But if it doesn't work out again, obviously you should start moving on. Cuz it just seems like you two are forcing each other to make this relationship work.

[muffinx3]

Me and my boyfriend get into a lot of stupid fights. Probably more than you and your ex.
I've been with him for about 2.5 years. We've broken up a total of two times, once when I first got with him in 8th grade (I got back with him in 10th grade, so it doesn't really count.....) and then another time. So in the essence, we've only broken up once, atleast one time that actually counts towards our relationship. So that's a little background about me and my boyfriend.

I don't really think you're with him because you love him, I think you're with him just cause you need someone to love you and be there for you emotionally. I'll tell you right now, it's really annoying to have such a wishy washy significant other. My boyfriend always threatens to break up with me when we get into fights, so I know from experience how annoying it is, but we never actually break up. You want to know why? Because we're mature enough to work it out and make sure things are okay. We care about each other and we WANT to make the relationship work. You break up with him to hurt him because you're tired of fighting with him and eventually, he'll get so fed up with you draining his emotions that he'll stop loving you. You can already tell he's getting fed up with you wanting to break up all the time.

You thought your relationship was dragging on for too long? And then you miss him? Seriously? Make up your mind.
I don't think you should get back with him because it's not fair to him. You're just using him for your own needs and you don't think about him, which is clearly shown by YOU wanting to break up all the time. It's all about you right? Your opinions, your feelings, your needs. What about him? How do you think he feels after you've broken up with him FOUR times in a one year relationship?

I say, get over yourself and get into a relationship when you're ready to really love someone and not just use them for your own selfishness.

[cookieXjar]

for the person ^ above ; muffinx3.

It's not for my own selfishness. My reasons?

[1] He always wants to go out & have fun with his friends, but somehow I'm holding* him back by being with him, cause
he doesn't want to leave me behind while he is having fun. I tell him he should go out more often to have fun with friends
but he says he just want to spend time with me. So reason #1 is me letting him have his freedom.

[2] He always tells me to eat and worries for me no matter what. I don't want him to have such a burden all day knowing
if I don't feel well & etc.

[3] He's been really hard on himself lately with all the finals & regents because I chose my goal (going into a good
university) & he wants to go to that unni. with me, & with that being said, he keeps sutdying & well, his health
isn't as good as it sounds it t be, lack of eating & sleeping. with me not being with him, a lot of weight is off his
shoulders.

[4] Ever since we've been together, we both prohibited eachother from talking to the opposite sex (his idea).
& we went along with it, but as time passed, I don't feel like it's such a good thing anymore, I mean..
He needs to go out there & have fun with friends, not just boys, if u get what i mean. So if we broke up
he would have other chances with other girls.

& that is why I'm not breaking up because of my 'selfishness' even though there are some reasons that are..
like to say...

[1] He gets an attitude on me no matter what. Like I was sad the other day & he asks me whats wrong.
I told him what was wrong (it was something that he did) in a very calm way & he comes at me like a monster
by saying how is it his fault. When did I ever say it was his fault? Never. Again & Again he treats me like that.

[2] I ask my friends why he's treating me this way & they say it might be a sign eh no longer loves me. so idk.

[3] He never says I Love You to me anymore, I always have to be the one to say this time him first in order
for him to say it back to me.

[4] We use to talk a lot on the phone together but recently.. our longest phone chats are like 2 minutes,
and again, its because of regents & w.e.

[5] I Tell him that the above 4 has been bothering me & stuff but he just won't listen & wants to argue with me.

I mean like, sure I LOVE him to death, but those are seriously getting out of hand
& I seriously cannot make up my mind. This is the FIRST relationship that I was in that I truly loved.
I'm still young. Yes I know, finding other guys & moving on is part of life, but really though..
For people who loved someone soo much, can they actually leave it behind? & yes I know
I'm the one who broke up with him, & wanting to get back, I know i'm being a real b'tch.
I know if we get back together eventually we'll get into more fights & he'll start to not love me anymore
(if he even does now). But it's really hard. I'm trying my best to get my mind off him but I can't.
& I'm not even sure if he wants to continue being friends. & I Do love him...
& I also want him there for me whenever I'm sad or w.e.
Even though we both are young we're mature enough to work things out, just like every other fights.
Time & time passes. each & every fight he would promise me to act better & try to be more considerate.
everytime we have a big fight I always bring it up & it repeats.

So basically, half the things you said are not true.

[postcards]

I think sooner or later he's just going to walk away from you. It's best to just let him be.

[muffinx3]

I'm sorry for jumping the gun and assuming that each time you broke up with him was because of the same reasons. It really seemed that you were selfish in your original post, but now that I know more information, I want to take back what I said. Sorry!

With that being said, I think you should just wait and see what happens. Give it some time, see if things get better for him without you there to be a 'burden' on him. Go your own seperate way and learn how to be independant. If he comes back, then try again, but if not... then just move on.

[MNLV27]

Don't feel like you a burden to him. If he felt that, he would of broken up with you long ago. Did he ever mention something like that to you? If not then obviously he's happy to be with you. With his attitude with you about things that you actually want to talk and work on, that's when you really have to make him just be quiet and try to understand you and why you feel the way that you do.

My bf and I had broken up once that lasted like almost a month. It sucked but then it also made the both of us realize how much the other means to us.

If you actually want to be with him again, talk it out with him and then from there, see if the relationship is actually what you want or not.

[_ATELIER]

it seems like your relationship is sooo choppy, just reading it annoys me a little.
as a couple you're obviously going to struggle, but you also can work things out and be able to compromise with each other.
it just seems unreasonable to me for you guys to break up over petty arguments.
if i were your bf at this point, i'd be really tired and doubt this relationship because of all the break ups made before, so for me,
it would be too late. but if you feel like things could do a 360 and get better again then go for it.

[damyoungji]

It is never too late to turn back if the two of you are willing to be together again.

However, if you know that the both of you will keep on arguing and will not change for each other (that is, to make the relationship smoother), turning back may not be the best idea. History will only repeat itself and the two of you will be even more worn out with the whole, "I "hate" you and you "annoy" me, but let's stay together (just for the sake of feeling lonely without each other)". Sometimes letting go is the solution to a less worrisome and dramatic life.

[visuelz]

Your relationship really annoys me. So you broke up with the guy 4 times in 13 months and finally you miss him so much. Your relationships are so on and off. What kind of a person are you? Make up your mind. If he lets go, then good for him. He won't need another breakup. His life doesn't revolve around you.

[eternaldarkness4]

i feel sorry for him
it sounds like he's a really good boyfriend who obviously cares for you alot
he's given up alot to be with you

you should stop messing with him
you've made your decision
he's not a doormat that you can walk all over breaking up with him getting back blah blah

[Chlorate]

ur bf is really tired of the immature relationship.
-so if u guys do get back together, make sure you guys DO TALK about the issues.
good luck!

[mintcracker]

I understand what you're going through. Went through the same thing with my ex. THough I think the times we nearly broke up adds up to a high sum =( (and we went out alittle shorter than a year)

I don't think it's 'love' anymore...You've grown attached to him and dependant...that's why it's hard to let go, though you know you should bc arguing all the time is unhealthy.
A relationship shouldn't make you feel miserable.

[plegend2007]

Even though we both are young we're mature enough to work things out, just like every other fights.
Time & time passes. each & every fight he would promise me to act better & try to be more considerate.
everytime we have a big fight I always bring it up & it repeats.

^
First: Both of you are not mature...sorry, but no.

Second: From your post, I don't think either one of you are right for each other nor the both of you really ready for any serious relationship...IMO.

Third: All your excuses on why you broke up with him are just that...EXCUSES. You may think that you're were being selfless by doing it for his benefit and I would have believed you, but then you guys got back with each other over and over again....WHY? If you knew it is for his best interest, if he was single; why would you get back with him?
This is what I sense...you were being selfish and not being selfless.

Finally: I think the both of you need to separate and work on yourselves first, and really figure out what the both of you want or looking for in a relationship separately. If at a later time, when the both of you mature a bit, maybe the both of you can have a relationship, but now, I think it be best to give each other some space and time.

[kame0o]

Pass the 6 month mark is when both people really begin to get to learn about the other person and that's when usually "stupid" fights come in. I've been with my bf for 6 years and I can still remember the times when we argued over really stupid stuff like me giving away something that belonged to me to my sister because he "knew" that it was going to be for him.. um... no. Or that I gave a state quarter to my friend to complete her collection, but he doesn't collect it himself. Yes... really stupid arguments, but what I find is that these stupid arguments usually are just the surface of what is really bothering that person. In my case, my bf didn't like me giving away stuff without asking him first. I can tell you within a year or so into our relationship, my bf and I fought a lot weekly. I've also seen many of my friends relationships the same way so I always tell them it's normal to fight so much at this point, and it'll take work to pass that stage.

My questions are: do you really care about him? Does he treat you right? Do you guys have the same values? Do you guys connect on a "different" level that only you two can understand? If so, perhaps getting back with him would be a good choice. It takes work on keeping a relationship going, and it's a lot harder with a bf/gf because you're connecting with them on a level that's different than your family or friends. If you think this guy's worth it, you're going to have to work at not giving up. If you absolutely cannot handle this guys flaws anymore, then move on. But remember, nobody's perfect and it takes compromise and good changes (i.e. eating better, quit smoking, being more romantic, being more understanding, whatever your values are, etc) to keep a healthy relationship going. I suggest you two having a serious talk if you're considering taking him back; but remember, if you keep breaking his heart, he may never come back so this time, you should think things through really carefully. Good luck

[cookieXjar]

For all those 'Not really' happy posts above me , I know you have a point. I know i'm being a real b*tch & really just not.. doing what a 'girlfriend' should do. All those times I got back with him was because I haven't thought thoroughly & yeah, you can go "then why the hell did you break up with him you ****? you're playing with him". Well, I am a really stubborn girl :/? Once I say something I can't find the words to come out of my mouth and say "Sorry, I didn't mean it". But this time I have thought of it for a long time well at least an hour into the phone chat.

To another post : Yes he really is a nice guy. Before he met me, he was was very good with the girls & guys. Nice to EVERYONE. He's athletic & just all the good quality that guys should have. I can come to a point where I can confess I've been messing him around.(u get it?) But I have not been messing WITH him. & after a lot of thought, I won't be going back to him.

Last night I called him & we settled a lot of things. We'll continue being best friends like we were 13 months ago. If all goes well then there will be a slight CHANCE we will get back together, but for now thats all we'll be.

& just so you guys knows a bit, we are in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP. so there are a lot of issues to be dealt with. for 13 months and LDR, I think we did very good. but for now, I think being friends is comfortable. so my problem is solved. thankyouguys(: