[DeeIsRadicalYeah]

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[sugarlessgirl]

it depends on a lot of things, but based on my experience it seems to be better to have more things in common... i just got out of a relationship were our major interests were really kind of different and i just didn't feel like i could really connect with him that well, which created a distance and so we broke it off (well, i broke it off...>_>) i felt bad because i think he's a really nice person but we just don't match.

but it could just be a personal preference. if things turn out great then awesome, but if you feel like something is off maybe you ought to stay friends or keep the relationship light.

[mintcracker]

my ex was nearly 6 years older...and yes, age does matter.
Different stages in your life you know.

But you don't need to have that many things in common, just similar views on fundamental issues.

[kame0o]

It sounds like the whole age thing may be what's making you feel uncomfortable around him? If so, don't let it bother you. I have a friend who's going out with someone who's 4 years older than her and they've been together for over a year now and they actually live together. I think it's fine that you don't have too much in common with your bf. Opposites do attract because it makes relationships more interesting, and you learn and experience about things that's different. I suggest opening up to him more about yourself and don't get scared. If he's a good guy, he won't judge you. Also, trying to engage in his interests would help you open up too. Like maybe working out with him or learning about art so you'll have something to talk about. Good luck.

[ShadowMax76]

m. sounds like two stubborn people to me. o-0' aha. it was that or just a couple of idiots. <3

maybe it's the lack of time spent together? or how it all began?

[lil_miss_kawaii]

i dont think age is a matter

i know people say different stages in life but two people could be the same age and still want different things
like me and my guy friend ~ we'r both 20 and i only want a non-serious relationshp but he already wants to settle down

so tht shows age is definately not a matter ~ it is just a number!!

All you need to do is talk to him ~ TRY and open up ~ talk to him about where you want to go in the relationship and stuff ~ Jus sit down and talk about it ~

I mean you dont necessarily have to hav EVERYTHING in common ~ its good to have basics in common like political views, religion and stuff because those can cause clashes but i mean music wise/movies etc dont have to be in common because tht what makes a relationship more fun ~ you lern about the other and start becomin more interested in their things and vice versa!

me and the guy i am seeing dont have alot in common ~ kind of similar to urs ~ hes sporty ~ im not ~ im creative ~ hes not ~ but its nt like im going to stop seeing him just because he cant draw and i dont like football!

Ya get me?

[HaplessChild]

we had a talk last night, and 1 month into the relationship after 3 months of being involved w/ each other, he pointed something out: he feels i have this thick surface that he cannot break through. that we can't talk about deeper things such as life, my point of view on things -- philosophical stuff.

then i began to question, why we're even together. to be in a relationship, do you necessarily have to have a lot of things in common? be able to connect on a deeper level? he says that with some friends of his -- some girls, some guys -- he was able to do that within one day of knowing and talking to them; but w/ me, it's taking so much longer.

although he asserted that it was part of the reason why i inspire a degree of interest for him, because he can't work me out, stating i was unpredictable. he said something like, he really doesn't know where this relationship is heading because of that.

i also realised we were completely opposite from each other. his creative, i'm not. he knows what he wants to do in life, i don't. he likes being active, staying fit and doing things, while i'm lazy as fk. his been in a lot of relationships, and this is my first one.

there's also an age difference of about 5 years. i'm 18, and his turning 23 next week. i told him it was the age difference, but he says that wasn't the case.

i'd also like to state that, only very few people can say they know me inside-out. and that's mostly because they've known me for over 5 years, but i can't help the way i am -- it takes time to know me.

i guess i kind of feel discouraged to continue this relationship after realising these stark contrasts between us. a lot of people are together because they like the same things yeah? and because they can talk about so many different things? but why are we even together if the same doesn't apply for us? there's a bond, but it's more of a superficial one: we're physically attracted to each other, and we have the same sense of humour -- that's it. is it wrong to base a relationship just on that?

Don't be discouraged. You really don't need to have anything in common so long as you're both supportive and willing to share your experiences.

My bf and I have f all in common and we get on just fine. The way we build things in common is by spending time together and experiencing things together.

As long as you treat each other good you'll be fine. The major thing that will help is if you open up a bit but if you make each other laugh and feel comfortable with each other, the other things can fall into place over time. Don't give up too fast.

[kellyalster]

They say age doesn't matter, but it does play a good part when you're THAT young. You guys are going through different things in your life. I dated a guy 5 years older than me too. It just didn't work out because he was a working man and I was a student. We had fun but we couldn't relate to each other.

If you guys can relate to each other, I don't see a problem.

[HaplessChild]

They say age doesn't matter, but it does play a good part when you're THAT young. You guys are going through different things in your life. I dated a guy 5 years older than me too. It just didn't work out because he was a working man and I was a student. We had fun but we couldn't relate to each other.

If you guys can relate to each other, I don't see a problem.

That's key. When I was 18 I was dating guys that were 23-26 and we could still relate because I had already been working for several years, paying bills and was living on my own, owned my own car, etc.

[Kamoku-Ai]

Don't be discouraged. Your relationship is still very young, I'm not surprised your boyfriend said what he did. It takes time to get to know another person, no matter who they are. Even if you have nothing in common right now try giving it some time and try things that you both may enjoy. Me and boyfriend are similar to you and yours: I'm creative he's not, I'm open to talk about things and he shuts things away, I love trying new foods he sticks to what he likes, we have very different career paths - I want to be a teacher and he works with computers... The list goes on lol! But we just joke about it now because we rarely agree on anything! But we do have certain things in common like gaming, we like the same TV shows and movies, bowling... We've been together for over 3 years now and things are still good. If you still feel bad call it a day and say it wasn't meant to be. But I think you should give it some more time and get to know each other more and definately do not worry about the age gap.

[bonjour tristesse.]

Don't be discouraged. Your relationship is still very young, I'm not surprised your boyfriend said what he did. It takes time to get to know another person, no matter who they are. Even if you have nothing in common right now try giving it some time and try things that you both may enjoy. Me and boyfriend are similar to you and yours: I'm creative he's not, I'm open to talk about things and he shuts things away, I love trying new foods he sticks to what he likes, we have very different career paths - I want to be a teacher and he works with computers... The list goes on lol! But we just joke about it now because we rarely agree on anything! But we do have certain things in common like gaming, we like the same TV shows and movies, bowling... We've been together for over 3 years now and things are still good. If you still feel bad call it a day and say it wasn't meant to be. But I think you should give it some more time and get to know each other more and definately do not worry about the age gap.

i second that

[Mannosuke]

he feels i have this thick surface that he cannot break through. that we can't talk about deeper things such as life, my point of view on things -- philosophical stuff.

but i can't help the way i am -- it takes time to know me.

Exactly, so the rest of your post is meaningless because you already know this fact.
If you don't like the way you are, then change. It's not like he's the one that's suggesting to break or anything.

You're thinking too much about it.