[smilezxd]

Like what the title says, i'm in a situation where i'm still seeing my ex nd we're still friends.
we still do those couple-like things when we hang out alone.
basically he's cheating on his current gf with me.
yea kinda weird how i would stay in this situation when i know its wrong.
but we were together for more than 3 years nd i do love him.
that's why i'm willing to do this nd plus i dont kno the girl personally.
i think he doesnt want to get back wit me officially right now is b/c
he doesnt want to be tied down.
he also said i'm the girl he can settle down with but now is not the time.
so i guess i'm just waiting for him.
but the problem is that it hurts when i find out he hung out with his gf dat day
or like seeing his fb profile pic of them 2.
so i guess my question is should i stay like this nd get hurt everytime i kno he hung out with her
or whatever lovey dovey stuff they did?
or should i move on for now nd come back when he's ready?
or any other ideas you have on what i should do?

Edit: i read most of the comments nd it all says to leave him. idk how to explain it but i guess
u gotta be in my shoes to know how he actually is, he's not a bad person or anything.
he's a very caring person nd he would never want to hurt me (yeah i kno you'd be like "psh, he doesnt care" but with everything we've been thru, i kno he cares. experiences are hard to put in words.
i guess to him, being wit me is being in a serious relationship nd he never cheated on me or
mess with girls when he was with me. when we were together, we would always hang out nd i even eat dinner with his family nd all. it was dat serious.
the relationship he has now, he always tries to make excuses
to not hang out with his current gf. i guess to him, its not a serious relationship with the current gf.
so its consider not being tied down (yeah still weird to put it this way).
one of our close friend even told me that he wants to be with me but just not now.
i guess i'm just tryna justify that he's not as bad as you think.
& i'm free to date others nd everything but i guess i choose to kick it wit him because i dont want
the feeling to fade away. idk if i made myself any clearer...

[STAR_x.]

that's such bs. he says that he doesnt wana be tied down, but he has a gf ? he's already tied down, just not with you.
imo, he's just playing you. i think you should leave him, and slowly move on.
+ just cus you dont know the other girl personally, doesn't mean that she doesn't have feelings. she deserves better than this

[meiming8]

I think you should move on and cut ALL TIES with him because he is a BIG FAT JERK!

Sorry, but I think you need a reality check, in the nicest possible way

Think about it this way:

he BROKE UP WITH YOU
he has a NEW GIRLFRIEND
he's CHEATING with YOU on his new girlfriend so you are the OTHER WOMAN
he's not even giving a good excuse; he's telling you to WASTE YOUR TIME and WAIT FOR HIM while he MESSES AROUND WITH OTHER GIRLS INCLUDING YOU, while probably giving the SAME EXCUSES to them.
even if he's not, he wouldn't put you in a COMPROMISING POSITION of being the OTHER WOMAN if he really RESPECTED YOU
you are obviously NOT HAPPY with the situation because you are HURT and are AWARE that your position as the OTHER WOMAN is WRONG!!

He liked you. Then he broke up with you. Now he's using you. Obviously you still like him, but your like cannot justify the above reasons. Break it off with him, hang out with your friends, get into your hobbies, go shopping, whatever...just don't hang around waiting for him to come back to you, because, I guarantee you, he won't. Why would he come back to you when he knows you will put up with anything?

[Kanzen]

He's still hanging out with you because you give him something that his current girlfriend does not. Maybe it's stimulating conversation, maybe it's constant attention, maybe it's something sexual, I don't know.

The "tied down" excuse is obviously a lie (you know that), because he has a GIRLFRIEND.

I think you should find someone who isn't a two timer, and who will treat you better.

Good luck.

Oh, and I personally would not come back to him later when he's "ready" to be tied down. Like someone else said, he's already tied down, just not with you. =/

[Meenuh]

Have some self respect and move on with your life. I'm sure if the two of you love eachother as much as you say you do then your paths will cross again.

[AHLEENA]

just stop seeing him.
it's really that easy.

[HaplessChild]

just stop seeing him.
it's really that easy.

LOL, pretty much. You're stringing yourself along.

[i13elieve]

just end all ties with him
he seems like he is lying and your believing it
i think hes just flattering you right now.
he doesnt seem know what he wants.

[pocketsoul]

A guy that cares for you isn't in another relationship with another girl.
A guy that cares for you doesn't make excuses for why he's with that other girl.
A guy that cares for you doesn't back away from being in a committed relationship with you.
A guy that cares for you doesn't tell you to "wait around" for him.
A guy that cares would never put you in the situation that you're in.

Do you understand? He DOESN'T care for you. He's comfortable with you, and he knows that you'll be around when he wants you to be. Don't give him the satisfaction of being the girl that pathetically sticks around and clings on because she can't move on from him. You deserve more than that. I hope you can soon see that .

[PandyAndy]

A guy that cares for you isn't in another relationship with another girl.
A guy that cares for you doesn't make excuses for why he's with that other girl.
A guy that cares for you doesn't back away from being in a committed relationship with you.
A guy that cares for you doesn't tell you to "wait around" for him.
A guy that cares would never put you in the situation that you're in.

Do you understand? He DOESN'T care for you. He's comfortable with you, and he knows that you'll be around when he wants you to be. Don't give him the satisfaction of being the girl that pathetically sticks around and clings on because she can't move on from him. You deserve more than that. I hope you can soon see that .

Seriously. Save your dignity and drop him like a hot potato. He really DOESN'T care for you, and if he does, he is not worth the time anyway. Get as far away from him as you can.

He's playing you so hard. And, oh God, he knows.

[MNLV27]

What the heck? So he doesn't want to be tied down and yet he has a girlfriend? Are you that blind to see that he's a douch bag? He's lying to you just to make sure that you'll still stick around and be his back up girl when all else fails. As much as you like him, he's really not worth it, if he was then he would of gotten together with you again or you guys would of never broke up in the first place. Just forget about him.

[azurette]

I just feel bad for his current GF.
Be more empathetic. >_>

[tian`tian]

I read your edit...but...I still don't quite understand.

Well I mean I can understand how you feel, that he makes you feel special, he says all those nice words and things to you, that he'd want to be serious with you, he would never cheat on you, his current relationship is just for fun, etc.

But honestly...his actions speak louder than words. He is, after all is said and done, a cheater. And no matter how you see it, cheating is BAD. He is cheating on his gf. You are the "other woman/girl." That is never a good position to be in.

And I agree with the poster above me. Be more empathetic. If you were in his gf's position, would you want him to be cheating on you with his ex?

BTW eating dinner with his family is NOT a sign that he would never hurt you.

I would leave and get rid of this whole thing before it goes any further.

[hishari]

tsk tsk....what goes around comes around.

[리대런]

Why did he even leave you in the first place when he wants to be with you? -.-
Just leave the guy he's wasting your time, he's playing with your feelings.

[Jamila]

You should try to move on. How can you stay knowing that he's sharing his feelings with both of you? Why wait for him when he's already with someone else? Never wait for a man (boy). Who says that he'll choose you to be with when he's ready to "settle down". If he really feels you are the one he'd seek you out. Waiting on a physical being will only bring dissapointment.

[kuroimisa]

I read your edit, but sorry, I still don't get it.

No offence, I'm not trying to pick on you or anything, but from the way you type you say that your relationship with him for 3 years was serious? I don't really get any vibes that you OR your boyfriend are very mature.

I also don't see the point of making this thread if you're so set on thinking that he's a good guy and that it's okay to cheat on his gf with him. You already know the answer, and you're not going to listen to us.

Having said that, sorry if I sounded harsh, but if I was his current gf I would NOT be proud to know that he is cheating on me with his ex gf. You sound pretty selfish by saying that he never cheated on you while you two dated - what makes you really believe that? Will he tell you? Is he some sort of angel who won't tell a single lie? How can you even trust him? Just because you like him? What if you were in the same situation as his current gf but just never knew what he was doing?

He's cheating already, and that already makes him not so good. You don't like it when people cheat on you, so why do it?

[iftimecomes]

kay, i'm not trying to be harsh or anything. just speaking my mind.
okay you love him right? but guess what? he doesn't love you anymore. your turn is OVER. you had your little game of fun without any interruptions so why are you still clinging to him like a little lost puppy?
you're NOT LOST. you know exactly what kind of predicament you're in. you know that you're either the rebound or the mistress.
right now in your eyes, you think she's the rebound. but if she is, why is he flaunting her to the world?
because you two are OVER.
once a game is over.
there's no restart button.

good luck xoxo. stay strong :]

p.s.
you can wait for him now. but can you wait forever? just drop it and move on.

[Cheri.B*]

Hm.. can I ask how is he caring for you before I assume anything?
Thanks

[xCandeex]

i don't want to sound harsh or mean so please dont take it the wrong way! i tend to be blunt sometimes ^^;;

run for the hills
he says he doesn't want to be tied down but has a girlfriend?
and why did you guys even break up in the first place if he 'cares' for you and not this other gf?

and technically...(i dont mean this in any harsh or mean way) he DOES have a girlfriend, and you've known...so you feeling hurt is something you should have seen coming from the start. and it's expected for them to do lovey dovey things since..well they are in a relationship.
you say that he's making excuses not to hang out with his girlfriend...are you sure you're not making excuses saying he's a great guy to keep him in your life?

a relationship that lasted 3 years is definitely long, and hard to just let go quickly, but what both of you guys are doing isn't fair to any of you three. what if he keeps you waiting forever? you're going to miss out on some really great catches out there...

bottom line..to me, it seems like he is keeping you around because it's easy and comfortable...
he's just not that into you

good luck though okay? hope you will figure things out!