[Jin91]

I feel like everyone makes friends and friend groups here so fast. It takes me a while to make good friends. While I have made some friends here, my those friends don't really know each other and like, I have no definite friend group. I also don't think the friends I've made really mesh with eachother so... yeah. I know that's not super important, but I kind of want that. a friend group. maybe it's too soon for that but sometimes I feel really lonely. and like, other people already have friend groups. I sometimes wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Like, what can I do to make friends more easily and whatnot. I feel like I'm only meeting people and becoming class friends or acquaintances, when I want to make good friends that I can have fun with... friends who want to hang out with me as much as I want to hang out with them. I know I've just started college recently, but all my high school friends are loving college and making so many friends and are having so much fun. Maybe I'm too dependent on having friends or people around. *sigh* and I guess I'm writing this all now because I feel crappy... but I really do hope things get better. or maybe I just have too high expectations for college

[bawk]

im scared now...I start college soon... I thought this would be a great opportunity for me, b/c in highschool I was pretty much a loner w/a few friends...I could never make new ones b/c it was the same ppl every year...now that i'm in college hopefully I won't run into all those people from highschool anymore....nobody knows who I am, guess it's my chance to start over...but then again I feel like I dont have the motivation to make new friends again....ppl say not to worry, that friends will come naturally and at the right point in your life...but I know I must still not be putting in enough effort...

[BKJSuh]

Yes yes yes yes yes, I see my high school friends walking around the hallway, we just say hi or chat for few seconds. Except my close circle friends all went away or went to different universities.

So far 0 friends @ university.

[ultimoroboto]

I've always been a loner lol. I remember I was so scared freshman year because I had attended a really small military boarding school. Even though I was roomed with one of my best friends I was scared to even get food by myself since everything was so different. for one I go to virginia tech which has a pretty large student body and two, there are a lot of girls lol. My posture became really bad because I ended staring at the ground alot...lame i know, but I couldn't help it my school was all boys! Anyway, even though I joined a club and made lots of new friends I dont really hang out with them since I dont really like to drink or stay out late...Wow i just realize im pretty boring. On one hand I talk alot more, but i dont hang out with ppl outside of class so i guess im more antisocial but kinda not.

[wingsywingsy]

yeah, same problem. first year in college, i lived in the dorms, but i don't feel like i was really able to click with anyone--and it was really tense--people didn't get along that well. plus maybe because my major and college is hard, it's hard to be a little more social.

people always say you make the best friends in college, and my parents are always telling me that college was the best time of their lives--but sometimes i can't help thinking that high school was so much better--less stressful, more friends, etc.

i do talk to people, but i think i've gotten used to being lonely (especially since i don't click with anyone in my major). honestly speaking, i think i only have one person that i consider a friend in college, and that was someone i met by taking a class outside of my major during the summer, lols. maybe part of it is in our attitude. if we're not constantly letting the stress take over, but instead being more cheerful and initiating conversations once in a while, you might become friends with someone without even realizing.

[LindaDoll]

I'm in the same boat. I live in an apartment with three really close friends, so I have them, but at times, it seems like we split off from each other. Two of them are always together, the other one is a loner, and that leaves me as a loner too, something I'm not really used to. Around me, I see tons of people making new friends and meeting new people and I wish I was in that situation. I used to be very social, but in this new environment, the setting is just so different from high school.

I only see my classmates a certain number of times a week and not only that, but because I live off campus, I think I'm at a disadvantage. My neighbors are all partying upperclassmen and I'm just a freshman, not very sure of everything. I really want to make new friends but I'm nervous and I just don't remember how.

How do I make new friends?

[maddie]

Yeah, I wasn't social to begin with but college was a great opportunity for me to stop interacting with people unless I really needed to.

My feeling exactly ! It's so hard and bothersome to force yourself to do things you don't want to. I tried last semester but ended up deciding that staying in room and doing things that I actually like (even if I'm alone) if less stressful

[danielluv]

I'm not antisocial, but sometimes honestly, I just have too much readings and homework to do... it doesn't help that I have a part time job and I have horrible time management skills. I talk with friends only a few times a week and hang out maybe once/twice a week. I'm okay with it by now, if I get too social my marks go....poof... lol. I have my best friend, some very close friends, we may not meet up or talk much but we know how busy each of us are and understand. We had a great summer together, now it's time to cram for school. I'm happy with the friends I have.
It's cool to meet new people at school though
I used to not like how I never had a certain group of friends but now I embrace it as I am not stuck in a comfort zone all the time, and plus, this is just how I've always been.

ps. I'm a commuter and more than 70% of my school population is made up of commuters too, so it is a bit different...

[~creampuff~]

I think that as school is moving forward it's becoming harder and harder for me to balance everything. Either I hangout with my friends and I get nothing done or I coop in my room and get everything done. I think I'd rather choose the later, even if that means spending less time with people. Like seriously, this week I've gotten so behind because I've just been hanging out with people. Mainly because they all have less hw than I do. Man I hate being a Engineer major. Anyways, sometimes I think it's better to be alone than always being with people. The only upside is that I have people to eat with. lol

[kp1shadow]

yeah. ever since i've started college ive been so antisocial.
It's so hard to meet new people. id actually rather spend time at home destressing then going out :/

[yourHERO]

oh jeez new people reading this.. DONT LET other people's experience scare you! don't get psyched out from any of this. everyone has their own experiences and by no means any negative experiences shouldn't influence you at all!!!

it was depressing to see "omg i read this thread and im scared cause i'm about to start college!!". just because other people are having anti-social experiences, doesn't mean you will too!!! they're here to give their own personal experiences, as also the social experienced people of this thread.

from what i've learned in my university experience:

just keep your doors open.. don't brush people aside so easily unless you have a reason to..
(example was last week, we hit up the dorms to just chop it up and the only negative interaction happened when my friend saw a sticker from the high school he went to on a girl's door.. by chance she opened her door and he said very friendly, "oh hey I went to blablabla high school too!" she said "thats nice" and just closed her door. she did look introverted though. but jeez from all those interactions we had that night, she was the only one to respond so negatively)

don't be one of those people! if someone comes up to you, thats a good thing because it takes your work away of approaching them... just small talk and establish some sorta connection unless you find a trait that you don't like about em. but it never hurts to establish bridges, this might be why some people say theres alot of FAKE people in college.. they're out to establish some connections in their own way rather than let bridges burn, such as that girl who closed her door. once its burned the other person isn't exactly in a rush to try again, in terms of first interactions that is.

if you're commuting... the only advice I can give from my experience in college: don't commute. dorm as soon as you can. it was worth every minute dorming. even if you dorm as a 2nd year which is what i did, if you keep a open mind and open door, it'll be worth it.

also like many people mentioned, a club or frat/sorority will definitely help; think about it, its a gathering of people with the same interest! you already have something in common off the bat. people of a club usually socialize off campus and such all the time. a frat/sorority is even amplified, but it isn't for everyone... there is some degree of politics involved but it never hurts to rush a frat/sorority to see how the people are (rush means you check out their events in the beginning of the quarter to meet them, their affiliated orgs, and have fun without any obligation). so it may or may not be for you, just CHECK IT OUT, because you only live through college ONCE. (well unless you go to grad school, but its NOT the same as your undergrad experience i'm sure.)

and being introverted is normal; not everyone is a social butterfly. if you're content with being alone, then let it be... if you're itching to get out there and party and meet people or something.. then keep a open mind and don't over-analyze things!

p.s hope this helps. i wish everyone would have a awesome college experience as myself...

[yooohoaaa]

yes i barely know the ppl tht live on my floor x.x but im slowly opening up . .

[alphanumerx]

if you're commuting... the only advice I can give from my experience in college: don't commute. dorm as soon as you can. it was worth every minute dorming. even if you dorm as a 2nd year which is what i did, if you keep a open mind and open door, it'll be worth it.

buahaha SO FRICKEN TRUE! but really, if you have to commute, don't just go to and fro school and home. hang out with ppl from school outside of school even if it means staying a bit longer than usual at school to hang out w/ friends to hang out with them outside of it. use breaks, if any, to either study so you can hang out w/ ppl later or vice versa, use your break to socialize so later on you'll study when you get home.

i know i could've been so much more social if i lived on campus or near it, but don't let commuting keep you from being social. i opened up a little late in my college career, but it's cool... better late than never.

[Xyeun]

Nope, because I have made some new friends along with my old friends.
I do wonder what would have happened if I didn`t attend college in my own town though.
I would probably become antisocial then lol.

[efflorescent musings]

wow I just came across this thread today and I thought I was the only one having a hard time adjusting. I just started college and it IS hard for me because I wasn't the outgoing person in the first place. And just when I got adjusted to opening up more in high school, being thrown into a whole new environment kind of set me back.
I DO keep my door open all the time when I'm in my room but I guess it still doesn't looking welcoming... I don't know.
However, a lot of my upperclassmen friends just told me to let things settle about a month before people get comfortable. Even then, I think people would've found their own group of friends by that time.

It is all about pushing yourself to try harder but it's REALLY hard for shy people (like me TToTT)

[yourHERO]

wow I just came across this thread today and I thought I was the only one having a hard time adjusting. I just started college and it IS hard for me because I wasn't the outgoing person in the first place. And just when I got adjusted to opening up more in high school, being thrown into a whole new environment kind of set me back.
I DO keep my door open all the time when I'm in my room but I guess it still doesn't looking welcoming... I don't know.
However, a lot of my upperclassmen friends just told me to let things settle about a month before people get comfortable. Even then, I think people would've found their own group of friends by that time.

It is all about pushing yourself to try harder but it's REALLY hard for shy people (like me TToTT)

Lol one step at a time. You can start by just saying "HI" to ppl you pass in your dorm hall.. thats pretty easy right?

[IckyVicky<3dongbang]

when i lived in the dorms i was fine
but now i live in an apt kinda out, yeah i would say i am kinda anti social now.

[~Tropical.Mists]

Wow... this was definitely me in my first 2 years at university LOL! =P
It's also really sad because my campus is small AND I lived on campus my first year o_O
My reason for anti-social-ness?
It's because I already had friends =O= and that SERIOUSLY messes you up I think.
First of all, I roomed with my best friend =S We did literally everything together... ate together, went to class, grouped together for assignments and so on...

So in those years... I really didn't feel a need to get to know other people O_o I had my high school friends, my best friend and life was good ^^''

I think the only reason I felt like I had to make more of an effort this year (3rd year) is because we're not in the same class anymore haha =P and there's A LOT of group projects. It's kinda odd trying to make new friends this late in the years... I feel like I haven't had to make friends in so long that I've forgotten >_<
It's also hard to find people who understand you and get your sense of humour and OMG! extremely difficult when you don't have things in common lol >=(
But here's how I did..... I started off by sitting with people I "knew" or at least knew their names... once you get to talking, you just sit with them every class and eventually this can lead to going to class together or going to eat after/before ^^
And if that works, I like to make friends with my friends' friends... that enlarges the circle a lot... so now I have a "group" instead of just me and myself lol T__T it IS hard to get to know people at first, but I find that laughter is always good and FOOD! omg, people never say no to FOOD =O

--xoxo.
TM

[lbtocth]

Yea, feel like that too

Joining a club helps a little bit

and I do try to call people to try and hang out, but it's always me calling them but not the other way around!

Overtime I end up feeling like I'm desperate or something....

I feel the same way.

[pepprmint]

compared to hs, college made me into a total hermit. i made friends and lunch buddies within the first week in hs, but in college, heck, the amount of friends i made in a week in hs equaled the amount of friends i made in 2 yrs of college o_O

i think one of the reasons may be, college completely burned me out. all i wanted to do was 'get this over with', i had no energy nor the care enough to make any friends. like, some people would ask me to go to lunch with them, or go to the movies, and i'll be like, eeehhhh....i gotta do hw.....