[junsujunsu]

A guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, “Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.”

The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, “If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, not a cow.”

The guy replies, “If you weren’t such a presumptuous pinkberry, you’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”





How to Speak About Women and Be Politically Correct

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED-AMERICAN.

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.

She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.




credits to funnycity.org

[ilikecandixD]

Lmfao!!!!!!!!!! the bed joke xD

[Deziel]

Took me a while to understand the first joke, xD

[fionarhz]

LOL took me a while to get the sheep joke.. but i got there in the end hahah

[EHNerJI]

haha why a sheep though ? :x
poor wife ~ haha

[chungalung]

LOL, I lol-ed when I read that joke.
Well, I kind of just smiled. Not really LOL-ed. '_'
But I usually don't even smile at some jokes that I read online, so yeah.

[junsujunsu]

^LOL..in that case, i'm honored that u smiled

[balloons*]

^ lol victoria. the first one confused me for awhile.
but hahha it was cute

[babiloveyoo]

HAHah that cracked me up XD.

[Honey.bee]

I don't get the first one. Why a sheep?

The others are hilarious though, thanks for sharing.

[cldyangel]

I don't get the first one. Why a sheep?

The others are hilarious though, thanks for sharing.

The man is referring to his wife as the cow, so when he says "honey", he's referring to the sheep

[chamisul]

kkkkk I love the power of accurate English description!

[vietbaby_]

the first one took me while to understand O_O
i can't believe he calls his wife a cow LOL aha.