[chocopocky]

Have you ever had couples or individuals go up to you to vent and tell you their problems or ask advice but you don't know what to do?

At the moment, I'm acting as a counselor and adviser for many people for some reason. I think it's cool that they can trust me with their secrets and I feel helpful trying to ease things a little bit. At times, I get stressed out after being in the middle so much and not all of my advices works. Though, some end results have shown to be pleasing.. others have not. But I'm just trying to be a friend to everyone and offer some words..

But I feel like it's too much for me to handle at times.. at the moment, there are these couples who are having so much problems with each other and all they ever do is call me to complain. I've tried to give them some suggestions but they're so stubborn! They don't listen and won't stop arguing.. I don't know how to tell them to back off and give me room. It's like, I'm not even getting paid for this.

How can you tell someone when enough is enough?

And should I stop caring? Should I just stop butting into people's problems and let them be?

It seems to affecting my stress factor and me as a person.

It's great that all these friends are willing to open up to me and I can give them a shoulder to cry on but sometimes, I feel like I'm just a pillow. Like they use me for temporary comfort, throw me away like a tissue, and then come back to me later until the whole cycle starts all over again.

I didn't used to be this bitter.

Is it really worth it?
And it's okay to ask on soompi, I hope.. are these questions too obvious? damn.

[Tai-chan]

Start telling them that you're busy or doing things. Or just explain that you simply don't know what to do. If they don't listen to the advice you're giving them, just point it out and ask why they even come to you.
I think you shouldn't get into people's business so much anymore. Especially if it really affects you, they should be able to solve their own problem as a couple.

[SayurixPark]

If you give someone advice . . . it's their choice on whether they want to take it or reject it.
If they chose to reject your advice and continue arguing between themselves then it's become an issue that you shouldn't get into. There's not much you can do.

You can only give as much as you can give.

Remember that you are human just like them and you do have a life...

[Vi3t102]

Sometimes people just want to get an answer they want to hear.

[SayurixPark]

Sometimes people just want to get the an answer they want to hear.

Very True..

[hannieoon]

OMg.... You can only listen so much you know? I used to be listener and just hear people vent. Mainly because it's interesting but after awhile, they abuse that you listen to their problems and only come to you to vent. If they're looking for help or advice then I'd understand but it only goes so far, you now?

I usually avoid them. And then after not talking to them for awhile and you start talking they say... "I haven't talked to you in forever! I had lots of fun talking to you etc etc". Umm... no... they had all the fun talking.

Solutions:
Ignore/avoid them
Tell them bluntly that they're being annoying
Talk about your problems (that's what I do hahaha)

[thesisoflove]

If you give them advice, they will take it, and once they are stuck in more situations, they will come to you for everything . I learned that the hard way T__T

[damyoungji]

I can understand how you feel right now, especially about the whole stress factor and how it is annoying you when they complain to you, but they don't even bother listening to what you have to say. I am usually there for my friends and the majority of them come to me for advice about crushes and relationships when I am one of the least experienced people they know.

It got to one point where a friend of mines who is not close to me at all (like we will only greet each other if we see each other at school and not talk a lot at parties) came to my residence one day. She went to my room and I was puzzled since I had no clue why she was visiting. She sits down on my bed and for the next hour, she tells me everything that happened at a party. It was a party that caused people to spread rumors about her since she kissed a guy who liked her (not to mention, the most desirable student in my year) when she had a boyfriend. I was the only one who knew what happened because she knew I was trustworthy and I was not close to them.

Anyway, a few months ago, I was getting really tired of all these people coming to me. I don't have experience, yet they tell me as though I care about their love lives and that since I'm single and not crushing on anyone, I am perfectly fine with listening to them rant about their own love life. I got so fed up at one point that I simply wrote something about not wanting to hear any good or bad stories about people's love life because I don't care and that they are boring the hell out of me. I know I sounded rude, but I was fed up by how I will have my own issues and not a single person will care. When I try to talk about my own issues, they talk about their own. I guess people got the hint (well, some did) since some of them stopped telling me stuff. It made me a lot happier without having to worry about other people's problems (friends getting hurt) and trying to think of what to say to them to comfort them, or to give them advice when they won't change at all.

[connie333]

your questions are not obvious, they're helpful in finding a solution to all of these problems. If your friend's problems are causing problems for yourself, then you should stop helping people until you recover and feel okay giving advice again. Cuz at a troubled state, any advice you give are less than invalid, which causes even more problems for your friends, and soon even yourself. So by letting this continue, the problem is constantly growing. You should stop, rest, and if you feel normal again, try helping people again. But this time think of it as helping them and doing a good deed rather than thinking of yourself as a tissue. They really do need your help at times and even if they don't always show it, they are really grateful for your help! I had this experience before! Don't worry, don't get too caught up in these situations.

[chocopocky]

After reading all of these replies, I am truly grateful. Thank you, everyone. Y'all are some really amazing folks!

Man, now I get it.

[angel_cutie]

ooo i wanna be a couple counseler XD
but people ask =\
i dont mind listening..but coming up with an answer..i cant get one right on the spot ^^""

if listening to people talk about their life is stressing for you,i think you should stop
and i agree with ^ ^connie333