[makelovenoises]

This guy I liked for a year has been showing [flirty] signs to me. We cuddled, and he gave me a massage. There's more but not the point. I liked him a lot, but after what happened, I didn't know if he was flirting with me or just being friendly. The people that witnessed what happened said it looks like we were obviously flirting around. Though once I notice a guy giving me affection, I start to push them away. I don't know why. >_______< It happened to all the guys that were falling for me this year. I was good friends with them, then they admit to liking me, and I start to distance myself and think about the guy I really like. But even right now, I'm pushing him away. I always think of the flaws, I am trying to stop but Im so darn picky. >___<
It's sort of like .. you want what you don't have. I thought it was nice of him to do some stuff for me when we hang out, but now I am doing the same thing I'm doing a year ago, pushing him away. (He used to like me but I pushed him away, and now I like him).

I think I need help. Ahh really, I need to fix myself. Help?
I think Im going to get bashed

[ShadowMax76]

oh you love it and you know it. i know i would.

if you didn't push them away, you'd be having a lot of leashes - making you somewhat of a evil/powerful lady.
_
for fun, try those flirt quiz, http://blogthings.com/whatkindofflirtygirlareyouquiz/ , http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofflirtareyouquiz/ etc.

_
so what exactly are you asking for, o-0' to have people not jealous of you? to stop striking down hearts of guys you think have only 'friendly intentions'? to just want what's there? 0o' neh.. you gotta ask yourself, what is your idea of love/meeting that special someone - and is that realistic.

[h0ney]

i think u have low self esteem....
ur afraid of letting urself go
maybe deep down ur scared he will see ur flaws
thats not really good.. u need to date them to see if theyre suitable for u
so in the future ud noe
i get u tho... how if he told u he likes u
all the excitment kind of vanishes.. and the guessing games stop

[makelovenoises]

ShadowMax, it took me awhile to understand what you're saying but I understand half of it. And I don't really know what to answer. I'm stuck. I can't make up anything for myself.

h0ney, I've been single for a really long time. I guess I'm not used to moving into anything. Even if the guy didn't like me, even if any guy treats me like that, it would be the point where I start to push them away. I've pushed around 5 guys away this school year when they started to hug me a lot, or show that they care. He could NOT like me, but still do all those stuff, and even if I like the guy, I distance myself.
When the guy liked me a year ago, he moved on when he found out I liked his best friend and I looked like I was really into the best friend. Then I fell for the guy but it was too late because the guy liked another girl. I regretted not dating him when I had the chance. I knew he liked me and when I found out he did, I pushed him out. Now, it feels like we're getting closer, and I'm being my old self again. I'm scared to take chances. I'm also scared of making bad decisions. Push him away, I'll regret it. Don't push him away, may regret if things don't work out or if I lost feelings.

[donporkuloin]

Look past a guy's flaws. Stop knit picking! You have flaws, and you're not perfect. Take a chance on a guy that's treating you right, and see what happens? I think you have low self esteem. Just believe in yourself, and if you see a guy you want to go for? Then do it!

[HERinsinuation]

I feel you.
Honestly though, I agree with not pity-dating or going out with someone whom you don't like, but don't push away a guy if you ARE attracted to him. Everyone has flaws; it's just a matter of what you can and can't live with. For example, looking at any girl's boyfriend, I can probably identify 1-3 undesirable traits straight off the bat, but if you ask the girlfriend herself she's probably accepted and/or has learned to deal with those certain aspects about him. Why else would she still be with him? The foundation of just about every relationship rests on compromise and acceptance, and that's what defines whether you truly love/like a person - if you can take them for who they are, and if you can't then its probably more ideal that you stay friends, it's that simple.

Life's all about making bad decisions - how else are you going to learn not to f*** up the next time around?

Don't be scared and gooood luck

[annabeelee]

eh you sure its not you losing interest?
i tend to "push guys away" when im not interested (anymore). i dont want to lead them on. ya know?
im going with when i find i guy i dont lost interest in, hes worth it :]

[xl0v3juicy]

I do that too, and I've finally realized that it's because I'm too scared to fall in love. Yeah I know it sounds silly, but there really is no other explanation. When you get the feeling that they like you, you're too scared to like them back in case it's not true. I have a hard time letting myself fall... honestly. I'm too scared to put all my feelings into a guy, and then possibly get my heart broken. I'm just too scared of getting hurt and I think you are too.

It could also be the fact that you might be insecure. I keep thinking I'm never "good enough" or that I'm not girlfriend material. Yeah I know it sounds dumb, but I think I've finally figured it out lol.

Anyway, don't be afraid to fall. Because it really sucks knowing you missed out on someone who was potentially great just because you were too scared to take a risk or give it a chance... trust me.

[jaja13]

omg, i used to do that! i did it cause the guys that liked me, i didn't like back. so i tried to put distance between us, so just in case, they wouldn't be able to say that i lead them on or whatever. and me trying to push them away resulted in me being a big B. so that wasn't great either.
i guess just try to jump in and pvercome any flaws you see.

[*reminiscing.soul.]

I get ya. In my case, it was more that I didn't want them to see my flaws and that I didn't want to allow myself to become vulnerable - like, let them in and give them the chance to hurt me, so I backed away. Even with the guys I liked, if I found that they were showing any sort of signs, I'd be wayyy more cautious @__@"
But you just need to be more confident, don't let yourself run - just.. try it?

[visuelz]

You're just not ready for a relationship.

[Mannosuke]

You need to elaborate on what you mean by "always thinking about the flaws"

[supa'Wanki]

You just haven't found the right guy for you.

[weedyasian]

i do that too. i finally realized that the reason i push guys away is cuhz i've never been in a relationship and im afraid of the commitment that's involved D:> once you find the right guy, you'll know. you'll be ready to go the extra mile, to stop pushing guys away. cuhz i think i finally found the right one <;D just take things slow with the guy and if he really likes you he'll wait until you're ready to be in a relationship. thats what my guy is doing right now and its been two months since we confessed to liking each other. [its cuhz i dont want to start a relationship if its gona end quickly.. i dont wanna regret it once its begun]

good luck !

[makelovenoises]

Once I have the guy show some interest in me, I back away even when I was attracted to them in the first place. My problem is that I look too hard for the "PERFECT" guy, that once I see one flaw, I back away because he isn't perfect. I already know there are at least one flaw in every person, including myself. But I can't help but finding the rare one. I'm trying to stop but it's so damn hard.

[Mannosuke]

Once I have the guy show some interest in me, I back away even when I was attracted to them in the first place. My problem is that I look too hard for the "PERFECT" guy, that once I see one flaw, I back away because he isn't perfect. I already know there are at least one flaw in every person, including myself. But I can't help but finding the rare one. I'm trying to stop but it's so damn hard.

How would you define perfection?
What exactly makes a guy "perfect"?

PS: yes, perfection is different for everyone, so this is question is all you.

[hannieoon]

I used to be the same way. You just have to mature a bit. And honestly, finding the perfect guy at a young age is a bit impossible. And there is no such thing as perfect. You should have standards but don't make him into a Ken doll. You know... nonexistent.

Oh and dating around. I've dated several guys (there is a difference between dating and going out) and that really changed my perspective on my "perfect" guy. Sure I can detail what I felt but it wouldn't be as real as experiencing it for yourself. And I think it's a good life lesson. It helped me to realize what exactly I want in a relationship, who not to look for etc. Everyone has flaws. If you like the person enough, you'll overlook that something he does bugs you.

[hamoosta]

This is so why I don't get boyfriends -- I understand you.

[musicpoplove]

im just like that...
i start puishing peopalw away when they show that affectin..
i start lookin at their every move and if its not perfect, i start to loose intrest..
its hard to explain.

[ginger]

You're just not ready for a relationship yet. I was the same way allll through high school and the beginning of college--it was fun to flirt and I loved the "thrill of the hunt", but as soon as people started telling me that a guy was going to ask me out, I became cold as ice and I ceased to be attracted to them. Finally, I found a guy that I liked enough to start actually dating and...we're engaged!

Don't sweat it. This topic comes up a LOT on the soompi boards and it's pretty normal. You're just having fun/testing your limits/figuring things out--you have plenty of time to be a serious dater.

-ginger