[xspringrollsx]

If you and your husband are planning to have children and are both different religions, what religion will you bring up your child as?

Edit: What if one is Buddhist and the other is Christian?
Do you need the child to be baptized at a certain age or can it be done any any age depending on when the child chooses its religion?

Ps. Oh and I'm not married xD
This was just a discussion I had with someone which provoked to me make this topic (:

[Meenuh]

Well, assuming i'd marry my current bf, he doesn't have a religion. I am Christian though. A lot of Christianity has to do with what everyone tries to teach their kids when it comes to morals, ethics, etc.. I'd teach them the same things like "don't steal" and stuff like that but I don't think i'd try and push the whole Christianity thing on them. So I guess basically it'd be like teaching them the basics (of not only Christianity but it's the basics of what any other religion or athiest, basically any persaon would teach their kids) and ultimately let them decide on their own.

So I guess technically it would be Christianity.

[[HyuNi]]

That's a loaded question... well at least for me.
Because I can't even imagine marrying someone who isn't Christian, and it's not because I think non-christians are wrong or bad someway, but because I believe my walk with God is the foundation of the way I live and for someone to not understand that, would be telling me that they really don't know much about me.

But even so.. let's say I didn't marry someone who wasn't Christian. I wouldn't force my child to become a Christian, but I would be praying that not only my child, but my wife would become Christians. But if my child wasn't feverently against it, I would most likely take him/her to church on Sundays and attempt to evangelize.

[hsin531]

I think so, especially if the religions have conflicting views. One of my best friends recently married a Jewish man and had to convert to Judaism in order to marry him. Her decision at first caused some tension with her family since they are Christian but both families eventually managed to come together and resolve their differences. As for how they will raise their future children, they both hope to instill and teach them values from both of their respective religions and let their children learn the best of both worlds. Only time will tell how this will work out but I think it's definitely an added challenge.

[shotamerican]

my husband is agnostic, and i am catholic.

we are still going to raise our children in a catholic church, but in the end it's up to them when they grow up. i think the important thing is to give children the choice and time to believe what they want to believe spiritually.

we're planning baptismals for our baby already, and my husband seems confused by it all, but not opposed.

[theedqueen]

I'm a pretty open and understanding person when it comes to religion. I myself don't have a religion, but I have seen what good things religion can do for people and communities so I wouldn't mind if my future husband wants to raise our kids in his religion if he has one. This is only so long as they get to decide what if they choose to believe anything in the future. I only care that if I have kids they have good characters and open minds.

[HaplessChild]

Well, as of right now, the bf nor I have any real religious ideals. So none.

My mother is Jehovah's Witness and my father is Baptist and the arguments that would spawn from this meant there was no real talk of religion in the home so I grew up a little godless.

[Kyrie Eleison]

Assuming that I marry my current boyfriend, I'd have to convert to Hinduism in order to marry him. In my culture, our traditional religion is a mix of shamanism, ancestor worship, pantheism and animism, and traditional beliefs dictate that when a girl from our culture marries, she must convert to whatever religion her husband is. My boyfriend isn't the religious type, although he'll go to temples and whatnot, and I myself am more spiritual than I am religious. But I am hoping that our children will grow up with the best of two worlds.

[delightful123]

For me, it would be a pretty big problem (particularly if my future husband were very devout in his respective religion). I feel like if we were both very firm in our religious beliefs, the religious upbringing of our future children would be cause for fighting and arguments.

I think the best thing to do would be to talk it over with your boyfriend before entering into an engagement or marriage/getting too serious (if religion is really important to you).

My boyfriend currently does not have a religion, and I made sure to talk with him about my own religious beliefs and what I want for my future family, just as we were starting to get more serious. He told me he'd happily raise his children as Christians and go to church with them as a family : ).

Oh edit! I definitely did not read your post correctly. You two are already married! I was answering the topic question and not the question in your post (haha).

I guess my suggestion would be similar, however. Just talk it over with your husband and see where he stands. Perhaps you can open up both religions to your children, and then they can decide for themselves once they are old enough.

[terrorist]

it's a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG issue for me.
religious differences can make your life MISERABLE. mock my word.

[sugarcube]

It's insignificant for me. I'm a secular Muslim but I'm honestly leaning towards agnosticism nowadays, whoever I end up with will have to respect my beliefs and I'd do the same for him. I can teach my children about being a good person without bringing religion into it.

[HERMIT]

it's a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG issue for me.
religious differences can make your life MISERABLE. mock my word.

Mock it or mark it?

I don't know how big a difference religion would play if I were to have children with a spouse of a different religion. For one thing, I can't even land a girlfriend to begin with so the question is a little too far down the road for me to even think about. But, if I managed to land one at my age, I guess it could be a start of at least one thing: It just might convince me that there is a god!

But back on topic: when it comes to raising children in a mixed-religion marriage, I suppose financial considerations could be a factor in deciding which direction to go. That is, which would be the cheaper religion in which to raise a kid? For example, 1 day of Christmas sounds a lot better on the checkbook than say, 8 days worth of Hanukkah. Um. But then again, maybe my idea of religion selection criteria is not quite what the OP had in mind....n/m.

[lifelovebeauty]

we are both christian but the tricky part will be the baptism because he is presbyterian and i'm roman catholic. plus, his dad is a pastor. Luckily we just got a puppy so we've got some time to figure things out. :-)

[yinn]

That could turn into a pretty big issue. If someone is uncomfortable with putting their children in church and raising them with religion, but the other person feels that it's the right thing to do.. It could cause a lot of stress. Same with the whole issue of sending their children to what church if they both go to different churches and they're part of different religions. There isn't really a "right" way to resolve it, either. Someone has to just suck it up and bend backwards for the other person.

[addicted2kdrama]

Well, as of right now, the bf nor I have any real religious ideals. So none.

My mother is Jehovah's Witness and my father is Baptist and the arguments that would spawn from this meant there was no real talk of religion in the home so I grew up a little godless.

I think this is the smartest and least stressful way for both child and parent.

[emma007]

My husband and I will not have different religious views. My children will be brought up knowing the Lord.

[ichigo_no_powder]

^

my boyfriend's catholic and i'm protestant but if we end up getting married we've already our children are going to be protestant as well. i don't know if this is a good thing or not but he's not a strong catholic so i got to make the decision.

we are both christian but the tricky part will be the baptism because he is presbyterian and i'm roman catholic. plus, his dad is a pastor. Luckily we just got a puppy so we've got some time to figure things out. :-)

can't you just do it twice? infant baptism and then let your child decide whether he or she wants believes that they should be baptized again once they're old enough to make the decision. that's my back up plan

[mj0784]

I have knew one of my friends having this problem b4 and it's so sad that they end up separating because of this issue

[cavil.]

Probably just tell 'em the truth. Either they going to hell or not. Simple as that.

[uhhuh_5]

That's a loaded question... well at least for me.
Because I can't even imagine marrying someone who isn't Christian, and it's not because I think non-christians are wrong or bad someway, but because I believe my walk with God is the foundation of the way I live and for someone to not understand that, would be telling me that they really don't know much about me.

I feel the same way. It's not that I think I wouldn't be able to connect genuinely with a non-christian (as some of my close friends are Buddhist). I just think I would want my husband to truly understand the importance of my relationship with God. Plus, it would just be so much easier to raise our children with the same values and beliefs and there would (hopefully) be much less conflict within our relationship. It just sucks since it basically makes it that much harder to meet someone since it's already difficult to meet guys my age with the same interests/hobbies, sense of humor, compatible personality, and mutual attraction. And to add a practicing Christian to that...phew! It truly would be a miracle from God if I found someone. lol

For couples practicing different religions, I think respecting each others religious beliefs and customs are most important and to never speak ill of each others religion, especially in front of the children. Even when both religions are exposed to the children they will just have to decide for themselves, as they get older, which religion (if any) they feel drawn toward.