[wantonmonkey]

My ex constantly tries to get back with her ex, who keeps dumping her over and over again. Now she's emo and trying to start up conversations with me on msn but just leaves me hanging when i reply (especially when it's a question). Anyways, i manage to keep the conversation going for quite a bit and she says that her ex is going to dump her again. Not enough that her ex left her for totally absurd reasons like 'my dad doesn't like your race' and stuff like that. I'm not racist and this is not a racist thread btw. Sometimes, he leaves for no reasons at all and she keeps trying to get back to him. She also says she loves him all the way. This is the part i don't really understand.. Can any of you girls or guys out there explain this? It's bugging me.

[mrskimjinho]

Put bluntly:
She's bored with her life and needs that constant drama and attention.

[li-mei]

She likes the excitement from the "chase" that she gets when she's with her ex. Like mrskimjinho said, she must be bored or something.

[Mannosuke]

He's running out of excuses, that's why his reasons are absurd.
After dumping someone a dozen times, you start to come up with stupid reasons.

[sassygrl]

I think it becoz when she met him he was her everything, as in he was loving n caring and he had all the good spots which made her love him... and then later on he changes and totally shows the different side of him... no matter how mean he gets she cant let go coz she noes that the person she knew before was somewhere in there... and dat if she hangs on he'll soon show his softer side...

but dats my own opinion...
unless he just uses her for s** and dumps her when he hads enough.... could also be another reason

[dare2move]

she obviously watches too many chick flicks and has an fake illusion of love.
no, 'i treat you like crap' does not translate to 'i want to be with you for the rest of my life' in any language.
she probably thinks that she can change him and that one day, he'll realize that she is the only one who will ever be there for him and he will love her back in the way that she deserves.
yeah, too bad that that will never happen.
tell her to watch 'he's just not that into you' and move on.

[visuelz]

There are some girls that like to be treated that way. I'm not sure why, but it kind of leads up to the question of why girls don't like nice guys. I find it quite absurd when people tell me that they think they can change the bad guy into a good guy. Screw that, people don't change.

[vickstahs]

do you guys really think it's got to do with wanting drama/attention and basically the "Striving on conflict" attitude that these girls have? because i have a friend that keeps wanting to get back with her ex, but obviously she can do so much better and he treats her like crap.

lols i think i strive on conflict a lot too-- just creating drama for myself so i'll have something to do...


vickstahs

[Mannosuke]

do you guys really think it's got to do with wanting drama/attention and basically the "Striving on conflict" attitude that these girls have? because i have a friend that keeps wanting to get back with her ex, but obviously she can do so much better and he treats her like crap.

lols i think i strive on conflict a lot too-- just creating drama for myself so i'll have something to do...


vickstahs

There are psychological explanations that attempt to convince you that people are doing things out of certain states of being. This whole "striving on conflict" and "wanting attention" is just crap we like to randomly spew out because we don't want to put much effort into it and just resort to childish and immature grade-school explanations that have no hard evidence behind what we're saying besides "I know one person that was like that lololol!"

That type of logic is on par with "if you're complaining about something, that's cause you're bitter! LOLOLOL!" or "you wouldn't be angry if it doesn't affect you."

For example, why would someone cling on to someone that treats them like dirt? It's not just cause you strive for attention, in fact it can endanger your safety and well-being. However, why do we care? It's not like we're ever going to get involved anyways so it doesn't matter what any of us bystanders say really.

[kuku]

Did she lose her virginity to him? Most girls feel like there's a strong connection with their first. The same thing happened to this one girl I know. She broke up with her boyfriend 10 times in a year. They kept going back... probably for the sex, but who knows.

[LEE.YU]

Maybe deep down she thinks can change him?
or keeps thinking that there might be a chance that he'll change

[ShadowMax76]

low self-esteem, low self-worth and/or lack of the experience of healthy relationships.

i mean.. if you saw the world as something that didn't want you, you'd cling onto the first person that says wants you.
or perhaps . y'know how in the beginning, sometimes, you make your s/o your whole world? _ yeah... not healthy. and what happens when they leave you? you feel like you have nothing left, but to try get back with him/her.

yay. the debut of my theory: the naive vs the insecure. _ this guy needs power over her, the girl is naive and gives it to him at her cost of being flung around. .. in a nut shell.

_ but eh. i guess emotional girls + bad guys = little sense in it all. emphasis on the 'emotional' . >_>' and when you're emotional, you do what kinda things? stupid things. trying to cling onto what happiness you know w/o really knowing what it really is.. x_X" anyone can relate?

[_ATELIER]

godamn, she's a hungry tiger.

maybe she likes it, the fact that he dumps her so many times, makes her want himmmm moreeee and moree.
lol, i usually don't like getting involved in situations like that,
she'll probably learn her lesson sooner or later.

[noobie700]

low self-esteem, low self-worth and/or lack of the experience of healthy relationships.

i mean.. if you saw the world as something that didn't want you, you'd cling onto the first person that says wants you.
or perhaps . y'know how in the beginning, sometimes, you make your s/o your whole world? _ yeah... not healthy. and what happens when they leave you? you feel like you have nothing left, but to try get back with him/her.

yay. the debut of my theory: the naive vs the insecure. _ this guy needs power over her, the girl is naive and gives it to him at her cost of being flung around. .. in a nut shell.

_ but eh. i guess emotional girls + bad guys = little sense in it all. emphasis on the 'emotional' . >_>' and when you're emotional, you do what kinda things? stupid things. trying to cling onto what happiness you know w/o really knowing what it really is.. x_X" anyone can relate?

i agreed,

one of my female cousin get the mini cooper beat out of her from her husband( when hes in a bad mood) but she refused to report it to the police or when people tried to help, she don't want it. i just don't get this about woman. if a man truly love you, he wont hurt you, especially beat the crap out of you. i have watches so many tv special about this kind of situation and i still don't really get it.

[lalagladys]

Okay, well i know how she feels,
i was totally crazy about this guy for 5 years,
i know i that im only 15, and i was still young.
but he WAS my first love.

ANYWAYS
**back on topic

She's probibly shared so much with this guy,
& they've had so much history that she cant imagine herself with anyone else
she feels as if he is the only one & she NEEDS him.

they way i got over my guy, was we got in a major fight,
&& havent talked to eachother in 5+ months.
ew were bestfriends & everything, i thought i couldn't live without him
but here i am Living life to the fullest.
As a friend, i think you should help her realize that theres more to life than just him
Ya' know ?

Like try to spend more time with her, take her out to the mall, && get her to find interest in other guys.
&& don't try to bad talk him. She might get over protective.
But yeah, i know how she's feeling. && i hope your friend can over come this (:

[Envious-Sleep]

She's either looking for drama or very naive. Some people hold on to good memories so much that they've let go of all the pain and bad memories. Sometimes, this forgiveness is a good thing, but it could turn into an unhealthy relationship, and is the cause of a lot of domestic violence.

[BEBE_AN]

she may be coming back to him cuz she has false hope of him loving her and that they could be together. her thinking is disorientated. she just needs a slap in the face by reality. i think in these situations people need honesty by friends, not sugar-coated responses.

[Overclocked]

It comes to a point where it is not about the prize anymore, it is about the chase. The journey, instead of the destination, that sort of thing. It is a form of self-validation, the elusive usually generates interest. There is no substance in the relationship between her and him, it is about the attempted procurement of it.

Plus he is so hard to get, that it is next to impossible. This makes him very attractive.

[doctorlee]

Four words: Girls like bad boys.

[colloquy]

Um... I don't really understand what's hard to comprehend about this situation. She's in love with him, or under the illusion of love. Nevertheless, you can't really apply logic to this situation. She's also probably clinging onto the dream she has for the two of them.