[hikarinokokoro]

well just like the title says, i think i have the worst sister on earth. (well maybe not the whole earth but you know what i mean) All my life, ever since i was little, she'd always constantly be putting me down, just to make herself feel better or something. She'd put down everything from how i looked, pointing out all my flaws, from the clothes i wore to how i do my makeup or how i do things. EVERY LITTLE THING. now my confidence was fine before, but as she kept CONSTANTLY putting me down for my whole life (i also shared a room with her for most my life she finally just moved into the basement now...which has made life better but she' s still in the house) anyways so i noticed my flaws and well of course my self esteem kept going down. And now she asks me why i talk about my flaws or what i don't like about myself when SHE'S the one who fricken pointed it out to me. And yes when i say she puts me down constantly i mean constantly, for example, yesterday she was like "i don't like your voice". it's alway si don't like blahblah about me. And yes i ignore her but of course those words you cant exactly ignore.

She basically hates everyone in our family, claiming everyone is crazy EXCEPT her (PFT) and that i'm a little better than everyone else in the family, so she CONSTANTLY hangs around ME, interrogating ME. maybe in her mind she thinks im 'lucky' that she talks to me, since she thinks she's the most normal in the house, but no i see myself as her VICTIM.

Secondly...whenever i make mistakes, she always constantly makes remarks about it, acting like a smarta$$. and then she tells me you're unappreciative and snobby. Who the hell would appreciate someone pointing out all the mistakes they made? that just makes their self esteem go very low. she thinks i should appreciate her telling me all the things i did that she thinks was 'stupid'. which is stupid. she's just so up tight with everything. for example, she says i talk to loud in public and that everyone is looking. uh actually i act normal and she talks like a goody good FAKE mouse in public, and even my mom and dad and everyone says so, that we can BARELY even here her., and then when i went to downtown with her and asked her if this bus would bring us to ___ (our home city). when we got home, the next day she said "oh ya ANOTHER stupid thing you did was
blaghblahblah there could have been a stalker. well how would he know we live there..i mean i never said it was ourHOME.

Secondly i encountered this extremely creepy old man on the bus, and then of course i would like to forget that experience. which i did, but then her, being the person she is, follows me everywhere to enterrogate me telling me how stupid i was and how it was my fault. now she is never going to let me forget it. who the hell would want to be reminded of something they would want to forget. i mean if you were molested, you wouldn't want someone to keep reminding you that it happened..you'd want to forget that it even happened.And then when she found out that i was having some depression problems, she pretended to act like the 'good big sister' GIME
A BREAK. she's the CAUSE of that. she's the one who kept on crushing my selfesteem for all my fricken life.

She just doesn't get it..she thinks she's being helpful by telling me all this stuff, and thinks i'm ungrateful. i don't know. what do you guys think? am i ungrateful? the whole family hates her, and my mom said 'she was worried about you'. HELL thats a very weird way to show that you care about me then. normally i'd expect someone to comfort them, and go like it's okay forget about it, insteade of fricking being REMINDED about it and not being left alone about it. she doens't get why i'm so mad at her for this, when it's cause i'm SICK and TIRED of her bugging me all my life about everything i do wrong or what she doesn't like about me. yes, i'm SICK of it.

[stupid.ity]

LOL, I feel sorry for you. But that's how sisters are. Putting you down must be her way of grabbing your attention. And she probably points out your bad point so she looks better. My sisters & I do that a lot, I'm bigger than all of them. But yea, another thing is, older sisters always make mistakes. Sometimes we don't know how to tell our younger sisters not to make the same mistakes. And no, your family doesn't hate her, as much as you think you hate her, you know you still love her. You care too much about what she says, and that lets her take advantage of you. Reading this, I'm assuming you're still a bit young. It gets better when you get older.

[xinyi]

i feel you my sister does that to me...she will always try to be the better one but in reality, shes not that great. We always get into fights and she has bad temper...i just keep my distance with her. Dont worry about your sister. learn to ignore her and be tough. when you show her that you arent put down by her words, then should will eventually stop.

[muffinx3]

I'm the second oldest of my family and also the only girl, but damn, I don't bring down my younger brothers.
Maybe it's cause I don't have sisters, but still, I'm not constantly pointing out the flaws in my younger brothers.
Usually, they're the ones making fun of me when I do stupid things. D:

If I were you, I'd just ignore her nonstop. If she would try to say something to me, I'd just walk away from her or go to my room and close the door on her face. I wouldn't give her the pleasure of bashing me just to make herself feel better and I wouldn't respond to anything she says. If there's a situation where I was alone with her, I'd walk away to somewhere else, hang out with someone else, or just shrug at everything she says, not saying a single word to her. Maybe even glare at her. Eventually, she'll get the point that you don't want to be around someone like her and hopefully leave you alone.

Keep that up for a couple weeks to a month and see what happens. :]

But if that doesn't suit your fancy, then I would just cuss her out to the max. :]

[Annersx3]

keep ur distant. and just tell her to shut her mouth. be like do you have anything better to do than to annoy me? start talking back andf she'll back off. she does it to you cause you let her. you dont defend urself. this will cause fights, but she'll be off your back.

[MRLEE]

you know what i do? i have a little sister..we are okay NOW RECENTLY.
and im 22 and shes like 16.

lol but man..she is the BIG DEVIL on earth..always making up lies to make my parents beat me.
but you know what..helped through this all..

I just stayed the hell away from her. Like seriously..no eye contact, no nothing. Don't even acknowledge her presence or even the fact that you have a sister exist.

the only time I did notice is when
she was pounding on my door calling me a "f@ggot" for 1 hour straight..and i busted out and beat the living out of her with a chair! and then she broke my 400 dollar glasses..so i beat the hell out of her again xD hahaha
such a scary family we had.

and PS.
you know how you said your sister follows you everywhere. PUNCH HER IN THE FACE..then maybe she will learn her lesson. im sorry i came from a violent family xD if that was too much

[iitzjesss]

you know what i do? i have a little sister..we are okay NOW RECENTLY.
and im 22 and shes like 16.

lol but man..she is the BIG DEVIL on earth..always making up lies to make my parents beat me.
but you know what..helped through this all..

I just stayed the hell away from her. Like seriously..no eye contact, no nothing. Don't even acknowledge her presence or even the fact that you have a sister exist.

the only time I did notice is when
she was pounding on my door calling me a "f@ggot" for 1 hour straight..and i busted out and beat the living out of her with a chair! and then she broke my 400 dollar glasses..so i beat the hell out of her again xD hahaha
such a scary family we had.

and PS.
you know how you said your sister follows you everywhere. PUNCH HER IN THE FACE..then maybe she will learn her lesson. im sorry i came from a violent family xD if that was too much

well i'm not that violent hehe but i basically act like my brother doesn't exist and he does the same

[Namderful]

My sister did that to me. One day it got so bad, I was crying in school and all she said was 'Wow, what the **** is wrong with you?" and walked away.
I guess me& my sister have good+bad times. But I think you shouldn't take the things she says seriously. She might be jelous of you :3

[MRLEE]

hey are you older then her or younger?

[Jamila]

My older brother used to do that to me..it sucked..he doesn't do it to our younger sister and compliments her instead and doesn't ever compliment me in any way..I grew up with f'ed up self esteem and he wondered why I was so damn moody. He's always quicker to say something negative about me than my younger sister and is quicker to want to introduce her to his friends...idk what the hell I did to him..never picked on him..that's ok though I'm smarter and have more common sense.


sorry no solution for you

[hikarinokokoro]

LOL, I feel sorry for you. But that's how sisters are. Putting you down must be her way of grabbing your attention. And she probably points out your bad point so she looks better. My sisters & I do that a lot, I'm bigger than all of them. But yea, another thing is, older sisters always make mistakes. Sometimes we don't know how to tell our younger sisters not to make the same mistakes. And no, your family doesn't hate her, as much as you think you hate her, you know you still love her. You care too much about what she says, and that lets her take advantage of you. Reading this, I'm assuming you're still a bit young. It gets better when you get older.

yes my family hates her, my dad wants to kick her out and doesn't talk to her at all cause shes rude to all of us and thinks we're all stupid. i'm in highschool and she's in post-secondary..sorry maybe i came off young cause i was in full rant mode >___>

you know what i do? i have a little sister..we are okay NOW RECENTLY.
and im 22 and shes like 16.

lol but man..she is the BIG DEVIL on earth..always making up lies to make my parents beat me.
but you know what..helped through this all..

I just stayed the hell away from her. Like seriously..no eye contact, no nothing. Don't even acknowledge her presence or even the fact that you have a sister exist.

the only time I did notice is when
she was pounding on my door calling me a "f@ggot" for 1 hour straight..and i busted out and beat the living out of her with a chair! and then she broke my 400 dollar glasses..so i beat the hell out of her again xD hahaha
such a scary family we had.

and PS.
you know how you said your sister follows you everywhere. PUNCH HER IN THE FACE..then maybe she will learn her lesson. im sorry i came from a violent family xD if that was too much

LOL....violence wouldn't work for me cause she's stronger than me =_=...


And to everyone about the ignoring advice..
well at first i couldn't avoid her since we SHARED a room (living hell) but she FINALLY moved into the basement, so now i do my best to ignore her which i do, ...which just makes her more pissed.lol
The thing is, whenever i ignore her existence to avoid conflict...and slam the door in her face and avoid her all the time, she gets mad and thinks that i'm anti-social. = = w/e and the thing is she's grumpy 24/7 so whenever any one DOES engage in a conversation with her, she'll always end up yelling @ insults at you. it's gotten to the point where i just dont bother to talk to her cause i know it'll end up bad. ...rarely anything good comes out of her mouth in this HOUSE. outside she's a complete different person.

and she always complains to me about how other girls critique/trash talk other girls /their friends but i mean look at HER always trash talking her sister. i wish she'd realize that she's just the same as them and stop thinking that she's miss perfect = =

My older brother used to do that to me..it sucked..he doesn't do it to our younger sister and compliments her instead and doesn't ever compliment me in any way..I grew up with f'ed up self esteem and he wondered why I was so damn moody

that's just like me....she wonders why i'm like this when it's cause of her! GRR >(

[LGG]

Y'know.. secretly.. she's jealous. No, i'm not kidding. If she weren't, she wouldn't have paid so much time thinking of any flaws.
She'll eventually grow up and stop. But she's also your (big?) sister. So, when she's putting you down, it may be her way of sistering/helping you with a little jealousy mixed in it. Another thing, if she's the big sister, she's probably also doing this, because she wants to feel like the big sister, bossing you around and stuff, making you feel inferior, blabla.
But the thing is, i bet she doesn't hate you. Perhaps she's struggling with something. You should help her out and talk to her, ask her if she's okay, why she does the things she does and if there's anything you can help her out with. Give it time though, perhaps she's a proud one and won't give in easily.
OR i could be wrong all together! Wouldn't that be nice >.< But still try to talk to her though!

Important!: Make sure you don't do the same to someone else. I have an older brother who bosses me around and makes me feel inferior to him. This kept going on through the years and subconsciously i held a grudge against him, but i couldn't really do anything about it, at least that's what i thought. So i, on my turn, did the same thing with my little niece. When i finally understood what i did, i stopped. I cleaned up my act and me and my niece get along great now. I guess it's about understanding and be the better.. ahm.. man..woman.. y'know.

Anyways, any time she puts you down again, just think about this, smile, brush it off and go on with your life. Don't let anyone put you down, you're lucky to be you!

Let me know how things gow, update's and stuff.. Or if there's anything you need help with Sorry for the long story!

[MoroccoLove]

She sounds to be incredibly insecure about herself

Does she have any close friends? or friends at all?

It seems like she depends on you to make herself feel better

I know it's hard to block out all the negative stuff she says to you, but if you can't block it out, then i suggest you confront her about it

I was in a similar situation, and it just kept building and building and building, till one day i just snapped and started screaming out all the things i have always wanted to say to her = =

I know that sounds extreme and immature, but sometimes you have to battle words with words. And needless to say, after i blew up at her, she backed off over the years =)

Also, how old are you two?
If either of you are of age to go off to college, that would lessen the friction between you two
If not that...then just aim to spend as less time as possible around/with her

Surround yourself with positive energy..it'll slowly but surely bring you back up. Get away from the negative ^ ^*

[GreenTeaSparkles]

o, my sister does that all the time too. But don't worry, your sister is not the worst sister, because i know a lot of siblings do this sort of thing. My sister is soo much worse than yours. I would be extremely happy if all she did was put me down. But no, she gave me hell ever since i was born TO THIS DAY, when i'm 21 (she's 25). Right now, she's a bit better, but she still threatens me a lot, takes my stuff, and slaps me out of nowhere . Like wth she's 25, grow up. When i was young, she always beat me with the duster whenever my parents were out (sometimes even when they're home) and she would always slap me and pull my hair, etc. And when my parents come home early, she made me lock myself up in my bathroom so that they don't see my teary red eyes. She also controlled EVERYTHING i do. She wouldn't let me watch tv and made me sit alone in my bedroom in the dark. My parents thought i was suffering depression or something. She also wouldn't let me buy anything. And when my parents do buy me something and she likes it, she takes it. There are so much other things she did to me. I can go on forever, but it would turn into a 10-page long essay lol. Basically, she was so horrible it's haunting me for the rest of my life. I have anxiety issues and get scared really easily because of what she did to me in the past. She always used to scare the hell out of me. She still does it now, but less.

Anyways good luck with your sister. It sucks to be the younger one

[hikarinokokoro]

LGG-problem is she's already 'grown up'....well she's in her early 20's.
as for the important thing, yea i guess it may have something to do with bullying? you do it to others when you don't like it yourself? hmm
thanks for the advice ...i'll try to brush her put downs off...but i mean it's kinda hard to brush off means things people say about yourself. x| w/e !

Morocco-she has friends....but she always complains about them usually and has few close friends. yea i've confronted her many times....she doesn't change so now i just ignore/avoid her.... cause usually whenever we fight, we yell and blahblahblah and then go back to 'normal' cause she thinks that whenever we fight it's a joke....she doesn't change. i tell her to fck off and she thinks i'm a b*tch. she always thinks that she's right since she's the older one.

i'm in high school and she's in post-secondary.
and yes! POSTIVE positive positive!! D<<<!

GreenTea-ohmygosh that sounds horrible D:. my sister always hits me too...and when i hit her back she gets all mad >( at least she got less scarier....=s no....it doesn't suck to be the youngest, it just sucks to have evil crazy sisters =(

[lxh]

Ahh, my older sister is like that =/. Really makes me mad. But she is different from yours, she always point out how stupid I am academically and then brags how she's like the perfect child and stuff. What's worse is that my parents don't care and ALWAYS compare me to her, which got me diagnose as clinically depressed.

Yay life.

[Gunfire]

I have an older sister, and I am an older sister myself, but I love my three sisters to death. <3 We do get into fights, and it really sucks when we point out each other flaws (because it always hurts the most when you hear it from someone you love). But hmmm...it may be difficult but stand up to her. Don't be aggressive about it or passive. Be assertive. This is may sound corny but say something like, "I feel ____________ when you say _____________ about me." Or something like that. Ask her if she realizes that the way she acts really upsets you and your family. Also, it seems like you're possibly the only one your sister can relate to in your family, seeing that she always follows you and interrogates you. Try using that to your advantage. Tell her that her way of expressing her concern for you is really weird and that it's only hurting you more. It's a stick situation I guess and I'm not really that great at giving advice. But it's definitely time for one of those heart-to-heart talks with your sister. It'll be hard but be the better person and be patient with your sister. Try not to argue with her and remember to be assertive about things. Anyway, best of luck to your relationship with her and hopefully it does work out!

[twix0rz]

I am the oldest sister...i have two little sisters. I remember when i was little i kept fighting with my second sister but when i turned 14 it just all stopped.
Maybe your sister just needs a bit/ a lot longer time to mature. Who knows...>__<

I think the best thing for you to do is ignore your sister or ask her why do you always point out my flaws? Don't take it. Say stuff back. She is your sister not your parent. If confronting her doesn't work then just stick it out and just remember whatever she says is out of her own insecurities or craziness.

Sometimes if my sister and i have a huge fight, in the end i will talk to her about it. Maybe you just need an afternoon just to spill all your feelings/thoughts to her and see if she does anything differently afterwards.

It would suck to have a sister that you can't be best friends with/call when you are in trouble/etc and live in the same house...urgh...that will be too tiring.

[hikarinokokoro]

Aireia-its not just flaws that she points out....it's more like insults. and LOL if i said that she'd burst out laughing...yea that just doesn't fit in our relationship. yea its nice to have the upper hand, cause if she gets me mad then i guess she has no one to talk to :] and no we will never have a heart to heart talk lol..we could never have one of those. like NEVER that will never happen i can guarnteed that lol like i said our relationship is different ^^; =]

twix- yea..., despite her thinking or trying to be mature...she's still extremely childish and immature at heart..more than me. she makes fun of me and calls me a granny saying i act old ==.

when i ask her that just just says 'cause ur ugly' or something like that...and laugh lol...

i always say stuff like 'gtfo my face' or shutup or idc or say something back at her...and then we walk off..when we have a huge fight, we both just shout at each other and walk off pissed..i guess it's cause we're both really stuborn and always think that we're the one thats right..

and YES it does suck. even when my sister is on her 'good' side, she's no where near my best friend and i would NEVER call her if i'm in trouble.
when i talk to her, she tells me 'don't talk to me like you're my best friend' or 'you're not my friend i dont like you'...i've always wanted a sister who could be like my best friend and talk about i donno maybe guys, and go shopping together and hang out like friends. whenever i go out with her, all she does is be super cautious and gets mad at me if i start talking to her too much and is like cautious of every little thing i do.ugh...it's way tiring going out with her.

[Mannosuke]

Your arguments are flawed (MWAHAHA, feel bad little girl!)
In any case, I'm not going to play the nice guy and sympathize with you like everyone else is because I'm mean and can relate to your sister.

anyways so i noticed my flaws and well of course my self esteem kept going down.

lol this is what your statement sounded to me: "I was confident because I didn't know I had flaws"
Or even "I was confident because I ignored my flaws"

Who the hell would appreciate someone pointing out all the mistakes they made? that just makes their self esteem go very low.

Because people learn from their mistakes. If you're going to feel bad about it, then you're clearly not over it. Similar to your comment about how you just want to forget any molestation, it doesn't solve the problem at all. Forgetting it is just patching it up: it's still there, it doesn't disappear, it only appears to be gone cause no one talks about it.

And if that makes people happy to know that they've "overcome" bad experiences, well, it's a superficial resolution IMO and it'll constantly tear away at your self-esteem whenever something else comes up. Just look at the "have you been molested and can't talk about it?" thread: the victims have kept quiet for maybe a decade or so on average and they don't exactly sound like your happiest people.

normally i'd expect someone to comfort them, and go like it's okay forget about it, insteade of fricking being REMINDED about it and not being left alone about it.

That's because most people were brought up in a society where you're expected to be nice to others, and most people fake it just to avoid criticism by the masses. I don't expect it, I see it as a good quality in a person. In fact, I don't expect people to help: when I walk down the streets in china and something happens, everyone crowds around but no one does anything. One time I tried to take charge and sort of did something and the emergency crew arrived, but everyone's just like "ooh look something happened." Doesn't matter if psychology can explain this, more people in america are willing to help each other out for example.

And then when she found out that i was having some depression problems, she pretended to act like the 'good big sister' GIME A BREAK. she's the CAUSE of that. she's the one who kept on crushing my selfesteem for all my fricken life.

I wonder about this.

EDIT:

i tell her to fck off and she thinks i'm a b*tch

If I tell you to fck off are you going to call me a gentleman (for some definition of gentleman)?