[MoroccoLove]

So relationships consist of two people having a really strong connection right?

There's physical connection, mental connection, and spiritual connection.

The person i am with now..i sometimes (most of the times x.x) feel like i am somehow "disconnected" to him
And i really can't figure out why, or what i can do to fix it~

Were definitely physically connected, that's probably our strongest component
But to me-- i'm looking for something deeper than that

Sometimes i feel like were totally too different, to even click

But sometimes we do (mentally/spiritually click), and it's amazing
..but that's only sometimes

There are times when i feel like were just strangers..and i don't even know why i'm with him

There are a couple other guys that are trying to win me over, but i am no cheater, and i stay true to my boyfriend,
but i can't help but notice, that with these other guys, we have sooo much in common, and sooo much to talk about--and we really "click"

It really bums me out though..i always think, why can't me and my s.o talk as much as i talk to these other guys~

And i have on multiple occasions, have brought this up to my s.o
and all he usually says is "i'm sorry you feel that way"

What should i do? It's been killing me inside >< And i really do have very strong feelings for this person

[megan92]

if you can talk to other people than you talk to him, i think you should be with someone else.
and if you only "click" sometimes... i dunno. doesn't seem like enough. if you click with someone then you just click and you shouldn't need to think about it.
how long how you felt "disconnected"? it doesn't sound too good imo.

[Hiroshi]

you might only have alot to talk to with the other guys right now because they are trying to win you over, so they try to make convo in the first place.

[Jamila]

you might only have alot to talk to with the other guys right now because they are trying to win you over, so they try to make convo in the first place.

I agree with this..the guys MAY actually have alot in common with you, but they ARE trying to win you over. If you don't feel you "click" with your bf though he might not be the right one for you, though sometimes it does take time...How long have you been together?

[koezane]

the guy you are with is a loser. he needs someone else.

with such a degree of disconnect his attention will wander in the years to come. he will be unfaithful if he is successful.

physical attraction is easy but you really need the mental and spiritual connection.

[MoroccoLove]

if you can talk to other people than you talk to him, i think you should be with someone else.
and if you only "click" sometimes... i dunno. doesn't seem like enough. if you click with someone then you just click and you shouldn't need to think about it.
how long how you felt "disconnected"? it doesn't sound too good imo.

I've felt slightly disconnected from the start..but it wasn't that bad, it didn't bother me that much because i just figured we were so new to each other that we just needed time to warm up ><
That's what i think too..i shouldn't have to think about it, it should just happen

you might only have alot to talk to with the other guys right now because they are trying to win you over, so they try to make convo in the first place.

But these other 2 guys have been my friends in the beginning, and then gradually their feelings have started to grow. But even from the start, when we were just friends, we connected

I agree with this..the guys MAY actually have alot in common with you, but they ARE trying to win you over. If you don't feel you "click" with your bf though he might not be the right one for you, though sometimes it does take time...How long have you been together?

We've been together since late April, till now =\

the guy you are with is a loser. he needs someone else.

with such a degree of disconnect his attention will wander in the years to come. he will be unfaithful if he is successful.

physical attraction is easy but you really need the mental and spiritual connection.

I agree completely, i want mental and spiritual, but he says he does feel connected..and it's only me that's feeling this way

[La_JANE]

--- be back to post again later

[cook1ex3]

im going through the same thing!
and ive been with the guy since april too!

do you run out of things to say?
is there nothing that truly brings you two together than this ..mutual attraction?
i just worry that it's something that would burn out (although its perfectly natural)
i'd think so pathetically of our relationship then, and i would hate to think that.

"i'm sorry you feel that way"
THATS HIS RESPONSE FOR ME TOO! grrrrrr. i dont want to seem paranoid about it either.. its just so frustrating.

how do you fix this??

[HaplessChild]

the guy you are with is a loser. he needs someone else.

with such a degree of disconnect his attention will wander in the years to come. he will be unfaithful if he is successful.

physical attraction is easy but you really need the mental and spiritual connection.

WTF? Crazy talk...

Anyway... it was like that with my bf at first. Now we talk more than ever. It may just take some time. Don't try to force it. Sometimes the connection you have is one in silence. I get the "I'm sorry you feel that way," all the time. It's not a big deal. His lack of words doesn't have to equate to a lack of affection. I've been with him for almost a year and he's never even come close to wandering. Sometimes there is a disconnect in conversation but it doesn't change how we feel about each other.

Just talk about whatever you want to talk about. If you're having trouble coming up with stuff just spend 30 minutes a day browsing through the news for interesting and new topics and then start with "Oh, I saw this in the news today..." Tell him how you feel about it, then ask him how he feels about it. Keep going from there. The longer you're together and the more things you do together, the more you will have to talk about with one another. The more time you spend together the more comfortable you will both be with expressing yourselves.

I like to use "what's on your mind right now?" and not taking "nothing'" for an answer. Even if it's mundane, you can go from there.

[melonLi]

i understand hahaha.
its like me and my s/o.
we can connect in terms of physical connection.
and that's it
we cannot seem to talk about anything, i mean with my friends we can talk about everything, but with him, theres nothing to talk about , nothing in common.
i think that without the physical connection, this relationship is NOTHING.
we just dont connect or click in the friendly soul mates sort-of-term.
we cannot even last on the phone for 5 minutes.

[HaplessChild]

Some people don't need a debate partner; some just want a companion to be by their side.

[cook1ex3]

^ YOU INSPIRE ME

i respect the effort you put in your relationship.. you'd be an amazing partner and friend.

i think using "whats on your mind right now?" is the BEST IDEA ever. in fact, I'm gonna use it right now!

&&its so true.
"Sometimes there is a disconnect in conversation but it doesn't change how we feel about each other."
that's incredibly bold.

CODE

But sometimes we do (mentally/spiritually click), and it's amazing

i guess in the end, that's for you to decide if that moment is worth the disconnection and temporal emptiness in a conversation.
and i bet you, it totally is.
good luck everyone(: !!!

[Mannosuke]

So relationships consist of two people having a really strong connection right?
There's physical connection, mental connection, and spiritual connection.

Correct, except maybe the spiritual connection. lol what?

The person i am with now..i sometimes (most of the times x.x) feel like i am somehow "disconnected" to him
And i really can't figure out why, or what i can do to fix it~

That's cause you can't figure out why, so that's where you start.

Were definitely physically connected, that's probably our strongest component
But to me-- i'm looking for something deeper than that

Good, now you have some leads. Clue #1

Sometimes i feel like were totally too different, to even click

Clue #2.

But sometimes we do (mentally/spiritually click), and it's amazing
..but that's only sometimes

Clue #3: sometimes you click despite the fact that you seldom do. So list out the stuff that falls under this category.

There are times when i feel like were just strangers..and i don't even know why i'm with him

Clue #4: this goes on the other side of the line.

There are a couple other guys that are trying to win me over, but i am no cheater, and i stay true to my boyfriend,
but i can't help but notice, that with these other guys, we have sooo much in common, and sooo much to talk about--and we really "click"

Great, pull out another piece of paper and write down what makes them appear to be so compatible and compare/contrast with your bf.

It really bums me out though..i always think, why can't me and my s.o talk as much as i talk to these other guys~

There's one concrete answer.

What should i do? It's been killing me inside >< And i really do have very strong feelings for this person

Organize your thoughts on a piece of paper and do what I say NAO.

[MoroccoLove]

WTF? Crazy talk...

Anyway... it was like that with my bf at first. Now we talk more than ever. It may just take some time. Don't try to force it. Sometimes the connection you have is one in silence. I get the "I'm sorry you feel that way," all the time. It's not a big deal. His lack of words doesn't have to equate to a lack of affection. I've been with him for almost a year and he's never even come close to wandering. Sometimes there is a disconnect in conversation but it doesn't change how we feel about each other.

Just talk about whatever you want to talk about. If you're having trouble coming up with stuff just spend 30 minutes a day browsing through the news for interesting and new topics and then start with "Oh, I saw this in the news today..." Tell him how you feel about it, then ask him how he feels about it. Keep going from there. The longer you're together and the more things you do together, the more you will have to talk about with one another. The more time you spend together the more comfortable you will both be with expressing yourselves.

I like to use "what's on your mind right now?" and not taking "nothing'" for an answer. Even if it's mundane, you can go from there.

What you said really impacted me, thankyou..i think that's just the thing i needed to hear, and it helped me realize a lot of things. Thankyou so much


cook1ex3: thankyou, good luck with your relationship too, i hope we both get through this haha =)

[pochacco]

His response is "I'm sorry you feel that way" ? That's a bad sign. Shows the guy doesn't really care and doesn't want to work on making you happy.

[HaplessChild]

His response is "I'm sorry you feel that way" ? That's a bad sign. Shows the guy doesn't really care and doesn't want to work on making you happy.

That's not what that means at all.

Normally the sentiment attached is "I'm sorry you feel that way and it actually kind of hurts my feelings but I feel like we're connecting just fine. "

When my bf says that line he usually looks/ sounds butt hurt and genuinely apologetic.

What you said really impacted me, thankyou..i think that's just the thing i needed to hear, and it helped me realize a lot of things. Thankyou so much

Glad of that.

Seriously, sometimes the times I enjoy most with my bf are when we're laying ont he couch or in bed, neither of us are talking really, save the occassional comment on whatever activity we're pursuing independently (video games, books, knitting, computer.) We'll just together quietly or I'll sit next to him and read while he's sleeping; he'll hold my hand while he sleeps and we'll just sit like that, in silence, for hours.

Then when I can't take the silence anymore I start jumping on the bed or sic the dog on him.

[smileyface(;]

sorry but how long have you guys been dating ?
if you guys just started then maybe thats the reason .
I guess sometimes a connection takes time to develop ? Idk thats my pov .

but if you guys have been going for a long time than I suggest you find some other guys . >.<

[ima_robot]

i know how you feel. somedays you are just like "WOW! im so lucky to have someone i can connect too"
other days its like "i feel like im missing something OR i dont know what im getting out of this relationship."

im at that point right now. =T its really hard trying to find a place where i am happy.

i think i need change im my relationship. we spend a lot of time at his house just doing blahhhhh. i feel when we just sit there and talk, im most happy instead of us just sitting there making out.

we've only been going out for 7 months. and it feels like as time goes by its getting worse =[ BUT i do think that DreamingSaturn 's advice is really really helpful.