[donporkuloin]

How do you be happy for the woman you love, and she's with someone else? Long story short I have a friend. We met a few yrs ago through a mutual friend. I liked her a lot. Everything I ever hoped to have in a girl. She cares about me, but she has a bf. She met him a few months before she met me. He didn't get with her for a while, and she almost gave me a chance. That is until he decided he wanted to be with her. She gave me the let's be friends speech. She said she wasn't going to use me for advice either. She said she had another guy for that. At the time my pride wasn't having that. My pride wanted her to be with me. Being friends felt like a slap in the face.

I tried deleting my contact info for her. But I could never get it out of my head. I tried calling and texting her. Rare responses. I left her a long msg on fb about wanting a 2nd chance at friendship, how I feel about her, etc. Days later she accepted my friend request. Which surprised me. I can't lie. She's one of the few females I associate with that I have love for. I'd go above and beyond for her in a heartbeat. Along with the msg I called her while I was drunk and told her.. everything that's on my mind. Today we had a very long convo on fb. Which surprised me a lot. We agreed to hangout in group settings, but Idk.. her bf absolutely disgusts me. I'm jealous of him. I won't lie. I don't really get jealous or competitive about much. But I will do what it takes to have a chance with her, but I wanna seriously work on our friendship! How do I do that? At the same time I want to try to get to know the guy, and see if he's an ok person.. make a friend, etc.

[pochacco]

It's going to be hard for you to try to be friends with a girl who you obviously have feelings for. Even though you'll be telling yourself you only want to be friends, deep down you'll know that you want more than that, and in the end you'll end up doing something stupid. You should just wait it out, and if things with her and her boyfriend don't work out, that's the time you should try to be FRIENDS with her. Then if that works out, go from there.

[fredinsac]

First and foremost, stop lying to yourself. You do not want to be her friend or her boyfriend's friend. The only reason you want to improve the friendship is so that when things fall apart with her current bf you already have your foot in the door. Secondly, you cannot be friends with her bf. Why? You don't even know him yet and you already hate him. Plus you hanging out with them in a group is bad cause when they get all lovey dovey you're going to want to strangle him. My advice is for you to never hang out with her when she's with her boyfriend. I know this whole "friend" thing is about looking like a nice guy but screw that. You're never going to like her boyfriend. Not only that but you'll never see her as just a friend cause she'll always as be someone you really like.

[Limepop]

How do you be happy for the woman you love, and she's with someone else?

You move on.

And honestly? The rest of your post leads me to assume that you really don't want to. You say that you want to have a chance with her, but that sort of want seems counter-intuitive to being truly happy for her when she's with someone else. People tend to over-romanticize situations like those, saying things like: "It's okay; even though I'm heartbroken, I can be happy knowing the other person's happy. His/Her happiness is what matters most to me, ultimately, because I love him/her enough." But in actuality, there's always that lingering thought—that want, that hope—that maybe the other person will come to some revelation and choose to be happy with you. And the longer someone harbors thoughts like those, the harder it is to really let go.

It's easier—and probably a significant amount less headache-inducing—to let the situation drop until you can really look at her as a friend. If it's from the view of a platonic or familial love, you shouldn't have to put in much effort to be happy for her.

But, eh, what do I know; I'm just spouting things! Hopefully everything will work out for you. :)

[spixder]

Ya i've been there and done that, in the end it's just better to move on with life. She was a hit and a miss, that's all it is.

The thing to do right now is to be as far from her as possible, it'll probably take around 3-6months to fully let go.

Goodluck mate.