[ferricadeline]

I feel odd reaching out for support from strangers, but honestly, I just don't know what else to do, really need some advice, and anything is greatly appreciated. To sum up my lifetime, living at home (actually at both homes, since my parents are divorced with joint custody) was horrific, and as soon as I had enough money saved up to move out I hightailed it outta there, just after my 20th birthday. I wanted to go to undergrad, then to med school, and ultimately obtain my MD license and become a forensic pathologist. This is still what I really want to do, however there are some obstacles in my way:
1. I do not qualify for financial aid until I'm 25. my father makes too much money, however he will not pay for any of my education.
2. school is expensive, neither my mom or dad will cosign a student loan, so after junior college I am relying completely on scholarships (and my mother is convinced I will not get any, which she expresses any time financing my education is mentioned. way to encourage me there. right on.)
3. I live on my own (well, with roomates), moving back home is not an option (and believe me, I've tried to make it work), and right now I make just enough to pay for rent, food, bills etc. breaking even each month, or having to pay rent late.

Basically what it comes down to is this: I can either scrape by on minimum wage and gamble on school, hoping that I will somehow be able to pay for my education or find enough benefactors who want me to succeed as much as I do; or begin a career now, and most likely a profession. Things are stressful at work and they need extra help in their pharmacy. I can probably convince my employer to get the company to pay for the training required for me to become a pharmacy technician (I've been cross-training in pharmacy for about a year now, so have general healthcare knowledge). Or, I can quit school until I turn 25, then get full financial aid, and return to school (though at this time I still need about 50 units before I can transfer from junior college, so I will be 29/30 by the time I finish my undergrad work), and roughly 36 before I become a doctor, which is just a little off-putting. I know age shouldn't be a factor in education, but the disparity is nevertheless frustrating and disheartening. Even then, I don't know how I will cover my living expenses if I do go back to school. Right now I work 40 hours, and take about 5 units a semester.

I need to go to therapy to work on all my emotional issues, but I have no health insurance, and do not qualify for health benefits through my employer. It would be nice to have a lousy car to get out and about (right now, all I have is my own two feet. I can't even afford a bike from kmart). I have no friends, no emotional support to fall back on. I really want to become a doctor, but logically I just don't see how it will happen, especially since I can't even afford to take care of my physical and mental health. Life is already stressful, as well as school, possible even moreso with being premed/med.

Seeing as you all are generally an older crowd (I just turned 21, not the end of the world), I was hoping you might have some words of wisdom, advice that comes with age, anything, at all. I really want to become a doctor, even if it takes a lifetime, but I just don't see how it's the logical thing for me to do. Should I be realistic and build a foundation for my future now (pharmacy technician) and be content with a mediocre salary where I can afford the basics (a car, auto and health insurance, the occasional vacation), or go for what I really want to do (become a doctor),even though the financial aspect is wholly the air?

I am even considering joining a branch of the military, just because the government will fund my education once I finish my service. Oi I need a drink. A round of shots, anyone?

[nostalgiafades]

I feel odd reaching out for support from strangers, but honestly, I just don't know what else to do, really need some advice, and anything is greatly appreciated. To sum up my lifetime, living at home (actually at both homes, since my parents are divorced with joint custody) was horrific, and as soon as I had enough money saved up to move out I hightailed it outta there, just after my 20th birthday. I wanted to go to undergrad, then to med school, and ultimately obtain my MD license and become a forensic pathologist. This is still what I really want to do, however there are some obstacles in my way:
1. I do not qualify for financial aid until I'm 25. my father makes too much money, however he will not pay for any of my education.
2. school is expensive, neither my mom or dad will cosign a student loan, so after junior college I am relying completely on scholarships (and my mother is convinced I will not get any, which she expresses any time financing my education is mentioned. way to encourage me there. right on.)
3. I live on my own (well, with roomates), moving back home is not an option (and believe me, I've tried to make it work), and right now I make just enough to pay for rent, food, bills etc. breaking even each month, or having to pay rent late.

Basically what it comes down to is this: I can either scrape by on minimum wage and gamble on school, hoping that I will somehow be able to pay for my education or find enough benefactors who want me to succeed as much as I do; or begin a career now, and most likely a profession. Things are stressful at work and they need extra help in their pharmacy. I can probably convince my employer to get the company to pay for the training required for me to become a pharmacy technician (I've been cross-training in pharmacy for about a year now, so have general healthcare knowledge). Or, I can quit school until I turn 25, then get full financial aid, and return to school (though at this time I still need about 50 units before I can transfer from junior college, so I will be 29/30 by the time I finish my undergrad work), and roughly 36 before I become a doctor, which is just a little off-putting. I know age shouldn't be a factor in education, but the disparity is nevertheless frustrating and disheartening. Even then, I don't know how I will cover my living expenses if I do go back to school. Right now I work 40 hours, and take about 5 units a semester.

I need to go to therapy to work on all my emotional issues, but I have no health insurance, and do not qualify for health benefits through my employer. It would be nice to have a lousy car to get out and about (right now, all I have is my own two feet. I can't even afford a bike from kmart). I have no friends, no emotional support to fall back on. I really want to become a doctor, but logically I just don't see how it will happen, especially since I can't even afford to take care of my physical and mental health. Life is already stressful, as well as school, possible even moreso with being premed/med.

Seeing as you all are generally an older crowd (I just turned 21, not the end of the world), I was hoping you might have some words of wisdom, advice that comes with age, anything, at all. I really want to become a doctor, even if it takes a lifetime, but I just don't see how it's the logical thing for me to do. Should I be realistic and build a foundation for my future now (pharmacy technician) and be content with a mediocre salary where I can afford the basics (a car, auto and health insurance, the occasional vacation), or go for what I really want to do (become a doctor),even though the financial aspect is wholly the air?

I am even considering joining a branch of the military, just because the government will fund my education once I finish my service. Oi I need a drink. A round of shots, anyone?

Hm. I'm not in a position to preach -any- sort of sermon, but I'll say one thing.

If you have a passion and it's something that you want to do more than anything in your life... than consider it your destiny. I love music, and I've found that to be my own destiny. It's something I was put on this earth to do. If you have the same love and passion for what you want to do in life, go for it and don't look back.

The first thing you have to do is get yourself health insurance. In case anything bad happens to you, you have to be able to recover. Yeah, it can be a pinkberry sometimes paying for it... but in the end, I think it will pay off if -anything- happens.

You might want to check out some grants and probably get some sponsorships. In music/performance there isn't really such a thing, but there are endorsements in which we can promote ourselves by rocking out with the said company's gear at shows/venues/etc.

Keep strong and most importantly keep your head up. Some things will take sacrifices to achieve what you want in life... trust me on that one.

If you have to downsize a few things you must do in order to save up for your dream, do whatever it takes.

[Hax]

^She can't afford health insurance. She can't even afford a bike. Honestly, its well and good to chase your dream, but when you can barely make ends meet, it becomes extremely hard to do so.

Have you tried filing for FAFSA? I read your post and it kinda hit home. It's sad to hear that your parents are this way. I mean, my parent's are not able to pay for my education but at least they wouldn't mind cosigning a loan for me.

I read some stuff online and this is what I got back from doing so:

Here are a few additional suggestions:

* Visit the financial aid office and schedule an appointment to talk with a financial aid administrator. They can evaluate your situation and advise you of your options. Even if they can't declare you an independent student, at least they can help by talking to your parents. Sometimes it helps to have a third party interceding on your behalf. They may be able to find some emergency loan funds for you, to help you on a temporary basis.

* If your parents filed the FAFSA, you are eligible for the unsubsidized Stafford Loan, even if you don't qualify for need-based aid.

* Search for merit aid. There are several large scholarship databases on FinAid that you can search for free, and countless smaller databases. If you're talented and lucky, maybe you'll win a merit scholarship.

* Consider enrolling in (or transferring to) a lower priced school.

* Get a job and earn money until you turn 24, when you automatically become an independent student, and then finish your college education. (When you apply for financial aid, send a letter to the school summarizing your situation, and tell them that you expect a decrease in your income during the school year because you will no longer be working. They can then adjust your financial aid package to reflect estimated income instead of prior year tax income.)

Honestly if FAFSA, grants, scholarships, need-based aid doesn't work out you have very little course of action other than working until you qualify for independent status. The only other thing I can think of at the moment is for you to find a better job such as a waitress somewhere. I'm not sure if thats a possibility, but if you can, try it. You'll be making more than enough to sustain your life and have left over money to get you a car or anything else. Otherwise you have to continue working and see if any opportunities open up through work.

The military idea is honestly not that bad of an idea given your situation. You basically are estranged from your parents and they offer no support. It's not that bad of an idea.

[nostalgiafades]

Good point regarding health insurance. It can be steep, but if you can manage to save a little bit for it every week, it'll pay off in the long run.

If you can't afford health insurance at this point, look into detoxing your body and keeping yourself healthy. I know this sounds really cheesy but, over time the radicals that build up in your body due to toxins accumulating in your body is the cause of like 80% of the diseases that can be prevented... (don't quote me on the statistics, but look into it if you can).

The following are things that I have been advised to take. So far one bottle of vinegar and Emergen-C has lasted me an entire month.

a] Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg Brand) is well known for its detoxing abilities and killing parasites in your body (yes, there are parasites that can and likely will accumulate in your body).

b] Vitamin C / Zinc (Emergen-C) is great for getting rid of heavy metals in your body as well as helping the immune system.

Those are the two big ones I have been taking routinely. Yeah, it might sound health freakish, but your health is above all the most important thing.

The military idea is honestly not that bad of an idea given your situation. You basically are estranged from your parents and they offer no support. It's not that bad of an idea.

I would disagree. There are other government services out there that can help you without having to be chained to warfare. I was very close to joining the military when I went to college. Yes, there are a lot of "benefits" that they would like you to believe... but seeing as current times are getting increasingly chaotic, would you really like to have to pay back Uncle Sam with your life in a literal sense?

There might be other solutions in aiding Uncle Sam (and most importantly -you-) in other ways.

Anyways, keep on pushing!

[Hax]

Good point regarding health insurance. It can be steep, but if you can manage to save a little bit for it every week, it'll pay off in the long run.

There are other government services out there that can help you without having to be chained to warfare.

Health insurance is not a priority in her situation. First off, she is young and the chances of something bad happening are slim. Second, she would need to save the money for other things such as an emergency fund in case she can't make rent or something bad happens. Third, health insurance is really expensive though. It's not something you can save up for because its something you have to constantly pay for. But regardless, if she can't buy a $100 bike, she can't get health insurance.

In any case, as for government services, what government services can she reach out to?

[delightful123]

I honestly don't have much advice (aside from what people have already said), but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you're going through! It's saddening that your parents are like that, and it kind of makes me angry as well. They should be supportive in every way possible of such an admirable dream! It's very hard to come across a career path that you desire so much, so I say hold onto yours! Keep your head up; things will work out. Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom for you or anything, but I just wanted to say that I sympathize with your situation and that I admire you for staying strong in such a tough time.

[HaplessChild]

I'm in the same exact situation as you and it sucks. Hard. I just scrape by, I take a class when I can but it's very slow going. I don't really know what to do either except wait.

[lhkim85]

Sorry, I don't know where "NoCo" is, but see if you can do a search for low-cost therapy in your area. This looks like it might be a good place to start:
http://networkofcare.org/index2.cfm?produc...2&stateid=6

If you live in the Los Angeles area, I recommend The Maple Counseling Center:
http://www.tmcc.org/index.htm

If you're in the SF area, here's a good place:
http://www.integralcounseling.org/about/lo...co_therapy.html

I think finding some counseling should be the most important priority right now. The counselor might be able to help you decide, or maybe even know of other ways you might be able to pay for school. Also, remember that if you don't like the first counselor you talk to, you can always ask for someone else.

Your school might provide some basic counseling and/or physical health services for students as well; you should look into it. Have you talked to the financial aid advisor? Good luck with everything.

[AngieK]

I actually have to disagree with you Hax. Even if she is young, I personally think health insurance is extremely important. You NEVER know what may happen and one bad incident can screw OP over. Hospital bills are enormous and if you don't have health insurance just being sent to the ER once can land you in some heavy debt, which evidently isn't something OP can afford. It's not just diseases you need to worry about. But things like car accidents, breaking a bone, etc etc. Sometimes, things happen. To the young and old. What state are you in? Can you apply for Medicaid? Since you are over 18 you can file independent of your parents.

And why is it that you can't get finaid until your 25? Is it because you are being considered a dependent? If so, do you file your own taxes? If you do, you can actually petition for independence, where your fin aid won't be dependent on your parents salary but your own. Honestly your best bet is to sit down and talk to your fin aid counselors to work out the best possible solution. Be aware that some counselors are not helpful at all, so you may have to go back more then once. Ask a lot of questions.

If you can't afford to be a full time student I think what you should do is at least take a couple of classes every semester like you're doing now. This way you build up your credits while you are 'waiting' for age 25. Take summer classes too. That way, by the time you reach age 25 (if you have to wait) you can just transfer immediately and you can finish your undergrad stuff by age 27 or so. In any case, I still think age isn't a big factor. It can be disheartening at times, but if you put your mind to it, you can push through. I, personally, don't like the idea of quitting school. If you can handle taking a class while working a job you should do it. Else you may lose your 'momentum'. And though not impossible, it would be far more difficult to return to school after a five year break. But that is, of course, just how I see it.

The military isn't a bad idea either. I think you should consider all possibilities.

Whatever path you choose it's going to be hard but hold your head high and focus on the goal. Good luck!

[lhkim85]

^^It's extremely hard to be able to file the FAFSA as an independent before 24, even if you file your own taxes. There are some exceptions, but they are very extreme, and from what OP has said, she does not qualify.

[AngieK]

^ I know it's hard. I'm going through that now. But hard doesn't mean impossible. I'm simply saying it's something she should look into. It never hurts to try. I'm not telling her to put all her hopes on it. She needs backup plans, for sure. But it is just another thing she should try on top of what she is already planning on doing.

[lhkim85]

You can ask for something called a Dependency Review Form, but it is pretty damn near impossible to get your status changed. You pretty much need some kind of proof of an extreme circumstance, like physical abuse or abandonment. If that is indeed the case, again, a therapist might be able to help you out with the form. Simply living on your own without help from your parents is not enough, unfortunately.

[Meenuh]

My family situation isn't like yours but my school situation is some-what similar I suppose. My parents are willing to help pay but the thing is, I don't want to put that burden on them. I am not eligible for financial aid because being an idiot, I let someone give me income. I do have a good enough credit to take out a loan without someone co-signing but putting myself into debt is a very scary thought. So, I gave up on school (it was art school) for the moment and I am just working fulltime. I don't have a car (i'm too chicken mini cooper to drive anyways) so I am not even attending a community college atm.

Man this thread just made me really depressed. I feel like a loser now.
Sorry i'm no help.

I do think that scholarships are a good idea though.
http://edu.fastweb.com/v/w_regp/flow/?utm_...CFRwDagodFj5uKA
If you just put in information they'll notify you of any scholarships you can get.

[Hax]

I actually have to disagree with you Hax. Even if she is young, I personally think health insurance is extremely important. You NEVER know what may happen and one bad incident can screw OP over. Hospital bills are enormous and if you don't have health insurance just being sent to the ER once can land you in some heavy debt, which evidently isn't something OP can afford. It's not just diseases you need to worry about. But things like car accidents, breaking a bone, etc etc. Sometimes, things happen. To the young and old. What state are you in? Can you apply for Medicaid? Since you are over 18 you can file independent of your parents.

And why is it that you can't get finaid until your 25? Is it because you are being considered a dependent? If so, do you file your own taxes? If you do, you can actually petition for independence, where your fin aid won't be dependent on your parents salary but your own. Honestly your best bet is to sit down and talk to your fin aid counselors to work out the best possible solution. Be aware that some counselors are not helpful at all, so you may have to go back more then once. Ask a lot of questions.

It is important, but when she can't afford a bike, how will she afford health insurance? Let's just say that even with health insurance, a trip to the hospital will still put the OP in heavy debt. If she gets the lowest insurance plan, her deductibles will be higher, her prescriptions will be higher, etc. Health insurance is important, but when you have to choose between a chance of something happening and no money = no food/apt, you have to make a choice. But once again, if you can't afford a bike, how do you afford health insurance? Medicaid is a different story and if she can get it, excellent!

She can file as an independent on her taxes, but tax filing does not equate to FAFSA filing. The reasoning why tax filing can not simply equate to FAFSA filing status is because filing for independent status on the tax return is a simple check box. If it was that simple to file for independent status, everyone would do it. Deciding to file for independent status or dependent status is more of a tax savings move, not anything that indicates actual independence. If I'm say 25 but I work part time and make very little, but my parents make a lot, its in their best interest to claim me as a dependent since I wouldn't get any more tax savings from being an independent vs a dependent.

FAFSA has guidelines for this stuff and she can not get any aid from her parents until she is 24 (not sure where she got 25). These are asked in question form on the FAFSA and this is how they determine whether or not you are an independent.

She can definitely try to get in touch with a counselor because you never know what they can do to help you. Maybe she can petition through her taxes like you say (hopefully she can), but at my school, simply filing for independent on your tax return isn't a good enough reason to petition. They basically want to see situations concerning why you cant produce the FAFSA (aka your parents can not be reached at all). The requirements for independent status is one of the following:

* The student is 24 year of age or older by December 31 of the award year.
* The student is an orphan or ward of the court or was a ward of the court until the student reached the age of 18.
* The student is a veteran of the Armed Forces of the United States.
* The student is a graduate or professional student.
* The student is married.
* The student has legal dependents other than a spouse. (Dependent means receiving more than half the individual's support from the student.)

One thing you can do is to apply for FAFSA and wait for your financial aid package to arrive. Usually, even if you make too much, you will still get stafford loans and those won't require a cosigner. You may also be offered other loans.

[AngieK]

Good point. In any case, file for medicaid.

I think I mixed up fafsa independence with residency independence. v_v" Sorry about that. But in any case I still don't think you should stop school completely. There isn't anything wrong with working full time and taking a couple classes for awhile until you can either qualify for fafsa or save up enough money/scholarships/loans/etc. to go to school. Build up your credit too, so it'll be easier to take loans in the future if necessary.

[Hax]

^Sensible advice. If I was in the OP situation, I'd do that. I can't bear to quit school. At least by the time you are ready to claim independence, you would be close enough to transferring or possibly ready to transfer.

[kansaieito]

Why not do the pharmacy technician route until you are in a position to go back to school? You don't HAVE to make it your career. You don't have to be stuck with what you don't want.

I did it my first time around in school. My parents weren't paying, hell I couldn't even find my father, but I worked in an office doing what most people would consider a career while I went to school for a better career. I'm in a position now where I can afford not to work while going to school for the second time to do what I really want. You only live once so go for your dreams.

Take the training, earn more money, save as much as you can, start looking for alternate routes of cash for school, look at cheaper schools, find another cosigner for a private loan (other family or trusting friends), or go to school part-time. If you have to put it off for 3 years until you qualify for federal loans, take the break and work harder. Bid your time, then go in blazing when you go back. There's many routes you can take. Life is full of setbacks, but the successful are those who jump over them and keep moving forward.

[m3chen]

A round of shots, anyone?

Seriosuly, you've got a lot of tough decisions to make!!! The only advice I can give you is to take things at your own pace. Consider working for a while to make some money to pay for school. It might help if you just concentrated on one thing at a time and although some people may graduate earlier then you, oh well it isn't a race and your life is yours. Don't get too stressed out by your parents (easier said then done) but just try to concentrate on your own issues. Sometimes sharing your issues over a drink with a friend maybe just the thing you need to release some of your built us stress.

Go for sanity, its better in the long run. You'll be able to look back at this point in your life and say "I did it on my own".

BTW just to let you know, I'm 27, working part-time (30 hours a week) and have been doing community college fulltime for the last two years. My parents refused to pay for my college tuition after I left university to pursue something else and I took it upon myself decide what I wanted in life. I'm grateful to them for supporting my ass for this long (I live with them) but I pay for all my tuition and life expenses as I feel I need to able to handle this kind of responsibility. The way I look at it, this will seem like a piece of cake in comparison to something like getting married or having kids. Now that'll be something to pull my hair (more like lose my hair) over.

Cheer up! Your still young and got a bright future ahead of you! I wish I could say that I was a potential med school student!

[ferricadeline]

Awe you guys made me cry! Thank you so much for all of your advice, you've helped (and also are more encouraging than) the financial advisors I spoke with. They basically said I was screwed (in a more formal manner, of course). And hearing I have to be 24 (and not 25) to file as an independant for FAFSA put a BIG smile on my frowny face. Being a year shy of a quarter-century old is just 'round the corner, yes! I don't know where I got 25 either, I probably just stopped paying attention after learning I was stuck in a hole, and would continue to be stuck for quite some time.

The other thing that irks me is that, at least where I work, it seems the dumber you are the fatter your paycheck, and since I'd like to make more money (as in not be flat broke all the time, not for conspicuous consumption reasons), it is so tempting to stop going to school. Especially since I'm making peanuts, the prepwork for my undergrad (so far) only enables me to continue making peanuts, and I don't know how I'm going to pay for that damn diploma anyway. But school is my hobby, and I really want to become a doctor. Damn you ambitions, you're killing my wallet.

[Hax]

My tip is to look around for another job that might pay more. I know you are really limited because you can't drive but try to find what's out there. As I mentioned before, restaurant jobs pay a lot (tip). But if you can find something that pays a couple more dollars an hour, it would help you not remain broke each month .

But as long as you take classes here and there for the next couple years, you should be ready to transfer and get a good financial aid package. It may seem like a long time now, but time will fly by and soon you'll be chipping away at your dream of becoming a doctor .