[avant-garde]

How did it go? If you succeeded, what was your story? If not, what keeps your from doing so.......
As for myself, I feel as I'm getting there..

and also, how important do you think it is to be charismatic?





Another question: can somebody be "semi-charismatic"? or does that defeat the purpose of what it means to be charismatic? are some charismatic people more charismatic than other charismatic individuals?

[Sophisticate]

I think most people are just born with it.

Perhaps you mean charm...

[HERMIT]

If anything, I think I've proven to be more enigmatic than charismatic.

I'm not so sure one can try to be charismatic.
It just sounds like a quality trait that's just inherently innate; that is, something that you don't really actively work on ... you just are. I don't know if I'm communicating this well, but I think there's that subtle difference in perception between a "polished" personality and one who simply has or attains charisma. That is, it's possible for one to improve upon their personality and how they present themselves, but when using a term as subjective as charisma, I personally think it is more characteristic of a persona that has been cultivated via experiences and lessons learned through one's lifetime that makes one who they are. You can't really try to actively learn or acquire charisma.
Ack, I feel I may have opened a Pandora's box of philosophical debate. Me of all people.

[terrorist]

If anything, I think I've proven to be more enigmatic than charismatic.

I'm not so sure one can try to be charismatic.
It just sounds like a quality trait that's just inherently innate; that is, something that you don't really actively work on ... you just are. I don't know if I'm communicating this well, but I think there's that subtle difference in perception between a "polished" personality and one who simply has or attains charisma. That is, it's possible for one to improve upon their personality and how they present themselves, but when using a term as subjective as charisma, I personally think it is more characteristic of a persona that has been cultivated via experiences and lessons learned through one's lifetime that makes one who they are. You can't really try to actively learn or acquire charisma.
Ack, I feel I may have opened a Pandora's box of philosophical debate. Me of all people.

what about celebrities.
Britney spears wasn't always that crazy, or was she?

[jesus.shuttlesworth]

If anything, I think I've proven to be more enigmatic than charismatic.

I'm not so sure one can try to be charismatic.
It just sounds like a quality trait that's just inherently innate; that is, something that you don't really actively work on ... you just are. I don't know if I'm communicating this well, but I think there's that subtle difference in perception between a "polished" personality and one who simply has or attains charisma. That is, it's possible for one to improve upon their personality and how they present themselves, but when using a term as subjective as charisma, I personally think it is more characteristic of a persona that has been cultivated via experiences and lessons learned through one's lifetime that makes one who they are. You can't really try to actively learn or acquire charisma.
Ack, I feel I may have opened a Pandora's box of philosophical debate. Me of all people.

i honestly dont think it's innate, but then again i dont know,

i know was a ditz and clumsy socially, i was always admiring the smart alec and the class clown because humor is universal, so i strive to attain that same characteristic, and i did

now jokes and smartass remarks come naturally, i honestly think charisma can be attained, learning to become socially fit and interesting is definately a possibility, examples would be those master pick up artists, they were shy joes before, but learned to become seduction artists

i think having the desire to become outgoing and extroverted must be there to begin with, then it can all come together, i myself am a type AAA personality to say the least, i love to mouth off and chat etc etc

just my $0.02

[[A][C][E]]

^
definitely agree with u....

alot of people are just afraid of or lack confidence breaking out of their shell.
Confidence is definitely an important factor of obtaining charisma...
it's hard to define charisma because there are so many factors that contribute to it....
coz obviously different traits will appeal more or less to another but confidence is probably the most important trait i think...
and also a carefree attitude and keeping ur cool.....

Just trying to be charismatic could naturally just make u look like that from someone elses point of view and you wouldn't even know.
But then again someone could try and start being charismatic, but what would be the point if others didn't see it that way....
It is still definitely attainable.... but i guess just not for everyone....

It sort of depends on the situation as well.... like people aren't gonna find you charismatic all the time it's just certain situations that will make you look more charming or appealing.
i'm not charismatic or at least i don't think i am.....but in certain situations like at a club for example... i will definitely start bustin out the moves LOL... not that i'm very appealing when i'm completely wasted,
but i guess the alcohol does all of the talking for me.....

(The Game by Neil strauss is non-fictional book about him and his 'transformation' from a normal guy who couldn't get any chicks to becoming like one of the greatest pick up artists in the world...fun book to read)
hope this thread doesn't become a nature vs nurture debate

[derrek]

I think it has a lot to do with how much you accept yourself. I'm a charismatic person, and its just because I am happy being me, and I don't mind saying whatever I do... I mean, sometimes I say some dumb stuff, but I keep moving along. It's all good... I dunno...

Probably just based on your past experiences, hanging out with tense angry people wouldn't help as much as hanging around witty fun people. Who knows?

[nostalgiafades]

I'm the living embodiment of all that is charisma.

Replace charisma with "consciously aware" and you got yourself the winning success formula to do whatever you want in life.

[Temoin la Nuit]

People who try to be charismatic usually come across a bit odd, like they're trying too hard.

IMO, charisma is something you're born with.

[avant-garde]

People who try to be charismatic usually come across a bit odd, like they're trying too hard.

just a question, but how do you know that they're trying to be charismatic?

[[A][C][E]]

IMO, charisma is something you're born with.

i respect ur opinion but i kinda disagree alot...
Biology does play a part to certain extent for example someone may be born with inherently lower serotonin levels which may lead to depression, mood swings and such....
But there is nothing in our blood or our genes that determines whether a person will be born with charisma or not..

If u think about, considering the fact that the ratio of UNcharismatic people to charismatic people heavily outnumbers the other...
It's unfair and i think untrue to say someone was born destined to be charismatic while the rest were not...

When someone is trying to be charismatic all of a sudden it is awkward and slightly embarassing for them, but does not mean that they can't become charismatic.
Charisma may seem like a supernatural traits or qualities that one possesses but in my opinion the environment one grew up in is what plays the major role.
Family, peers, society, experiences, all these things have helped shape that person to be the way they are and contribute to how that person thinks and makes decisions.
Whether that person turned out to be charismatic or not is merely a simple outcome.

Charisma is not a bright aura that only surrounds special people.... it's something that can be developed and measured.
i guess with enough effort and belief anyone can develop charisma which could be used as a conscious behaviour for when a situation presents itself,
or become even deeper integrated like 'Second Nature'

Charisma can be acquired. It can be learnt it can be taught. It can even be acted.

[lhkim85]

Sounds like you should read How To Win Friends and Influence People.

[Temoin la Nuit]

just a question, but how do you know that they're trying to be charismatic?

How do you quantify a feeling?

It's like saying "How do you know someone's hitting on you?"

I can give you all the probable indicators of what they might do, but at the end, no, I can't give you a 100% assurance. No, it's not scientific. But human interaction isn't a strictly scientific process, either.

At the end of the day, you can feel they're trying, because it feels like they're trying.

[Tuffcore]

I think Charisma is just a final product of many things in work such as confidence, communication skills, energy, honesty, leadership, etc.

You can work on things like confidence ie. being comfortable with who you are or what message you carry. You can work on communication skills ie. good eye contact, clear and vocal delivery of message, good body posture, etc. You can work on energy ie. talk with more enthusiasm. Throw a little wit in there and you've got a person who can walk into a room full of strangers and come out owning it.

[avant-garde]

Sounds like you should read How To Win Friends and Influence People.

already read that. excellent book.
leil lowndes is also a great author

[chinkboye22]

i respect ur opinion but i kinda disagree alot...
Biology does play a part to certain extent for example someone may be born with inherently lower serotonin levels which may lead to depression, mood swings and such....
But there is nothing in our blood or our genes that determines whether a person will be born with charisma or not..

If u think about, considering the fact that the ratio of UNcharismatic people to charismatic people heavily outnumbers the other...
It's unfair and i think untrue to say someone was born destined to be charismatic while the rest were not...

When someone is trying to be charismatic all of a sudden it is awkward and slightly embarassing for them, but does not mean that they can't become charismatic.
Charisma may seem like a supernatural traits or qualities that one possesses but in my opinion the environment one grew up in is what plays the major role.
Family, peers, society, experiences, all these things have helped shape that person to be the way they are and contribute to how that person thinks and makes decisions.
Whether that person turned out to be charismatic or not is merely a simple outcome.

Charisma is not a bright aura that only surrounds special people.... it's something that can be developed and measured.
i guess with enough effort and belief anyone can develop charisma which could be used as a conscious behaviour for when a situation presents itself,
or become even deeper integrated like 'Second Nature'

Charisma can be acquired. It can be learnt it can be taught. It can even be acted.

and i'd have to disagree with you but agree with you to a degree
-i don't wanna start a nature v nurture discussion but yea i do agree on parts where you can be outgoing etc..and do things to become more charismatic
-on the other hand i don't believe nurture completely or makes that big of a part of who someone is, its almost 50/50 to me, ever hear the saying "oh he/she is a natural" when someone is a noob and completely owns an activity,
-its just like TALENT, not everyone has it, some ppl can train a million times harder than someone that is best in the world but will never become one of the best, some ppl learn things a lot quicker than others, im sure ppl who play or understands sports know this
heck just look at the ppl in college, some ppl study hours and hours to pull off an A, while the another kid in the same class can read the book once and understand all the material in an hour
- some ppl are mentally disabled and some are geniuses..but that topic is too extreme
newayz i hope u get my point but i just don't believe it can be that easily attained, maybe to a certain extent but like i said some ppl are just NATURAL
i just replied back to u b/c it deals with personality and i understand ppl mature and change to events and such but i always believe that part of u is just a part of u

[[A][C][E]]

and i'd have to disagree with you but agree with you to a degree
-i don't wanna start a nature v nurture discussion but yea i do agree on parts where you can be outgoing etc..and do things to become more charismatic
-on the other hand i don't believe nurture completely or makes that big of a part of who someone is, its almost 50/50 to me, ever hear the saying "oh he/she is a natural" when someone is a noob and completely owns an activity,
-its just like TALENT, not everyone has it, some ppl can train a million times harder than someone that is best in the world but will never become one of the best, some ppl learn things a lot quicker than others, im sure ppl who play or understands sports know this
heck just look at the ppl in college, some ppl study hours and hours to pull off an A, while the another kid in the same class can read the book once and understand all the material in an hour
- some ppl are mentally disabled and some are geniuses..but that topic is too extreme
newayz i hope u get my point but i just don't believe it can be that easily attained, maybe to a certain extent but like i said some ppl are just NATURAL
i just replied back to u b/c it deals with personality and i understand ppl mature and change to events and such but i always believe that part of u is just a part of u

u are completely right....
There are people born with natural abilities that others will never be able to achieve in their life time no matter how much effort they put in....
it's how the world works, a balance... I also think that BOTH nature and nurture play a part in shaping someone to be the way that they are now alongs with their moral beliefs and choices....

However, on the discussion about being charismatic...
I was strictly speaking about charisma only and my opinion that it is NOT an inborn trait....
While it deals with personality, charisma is something that reflects part of one's personality and it has an ability to influence others, a leadership like quality....
This quality can be attained, u don't have to be smart or have any inborn traits or abilities to become charismatic....

U are right in the sense that it is ultimately you who decide ur own choices and part of u is just part of u....
As i said before, charisma is sort of like a part of an outcome of one's personality. So of course there will be people who are just charismatic without ever trying to be
because there personality matches that of charismatic traits...

But i think charisma is around about 99% work ethic, what would be the point if someone was 'born' charismatic but never displayed it once in their entire life...
There are many people who weren't necessarily aiming to become charismatic in the first place but rather focus on or aim to become other things like a leader or a celebritiy etc,
to become these things though, they displayed some sort of work ethic, assertiveness and confidence.... and it's these qualities that are praised by others and are considered charismatic traits.

I had a strong bias opinion on this because i've seen first hand, people i know including friends growing up a bit isolated, and not wat u would consider charismatic at all through highschool/middle school,
to now becoming strong individuals who seem to possess some sortof magnetic attraction to them causing them to be liked by many others now...
While i think that they put the effort in and ended up gettings postive results by becoming charismatic individuals others will debate they were born with that charisma to begin with...

[LYRA]

I think charisma comes easy for some and harder for others. I'm the latter. I think I have some weird introversion charisma that only those who are forced into the situaton to get to know me, must know me because of my introversion charisma (this phrase somehow makes sense to me... I'm classifying a type of charisma now. Hahaha). I was never so easy going as a kid. Though I'm trying to be more easy going now, it's much harder as an adult to shed my stoicism that I'm so familiar with.

I honestly cannot think of an example when I displayed charisma... though there are plenty of times when I'm drawn to those with natural charisma.

As for my progress with charisma, I think I have to be perfectly happy with myself before I gain any charisma. Lol. The image we project is also important in establishing that charisma too. Image and charisma must match, and that energy is showed to others. I'm still working on this charisma thing, because I do know that with it it'll be easier for people to want to get to know me.

It's best to work at it until I get it... methinks.

[kerupi]

How did it go? If you succeeded, what was your story? If not, what keeps your from doing so.......
As for myself, I feel as I'm getting there..

and also, how important do you think it is to be charismatic?

Another question: can somebody be "semi-charismatic"? or does that defeat the purpose of what it means to be charismatic? are some charismatic people more charismatic than other charismatic individuals?

curious how is this working out for you avant?

[Gofishus]

Charisma is half inborn half nurtured by experience. In alot of ways, it's no different than any other talent like sports or artistic ability. Some people are naturally born charismatic but it can also be learnt, though not to the same extent that natural born speakers have it. I think it can be improved - but not perfected. Was Adolf Hitler always charismatic? Were Winston Churchill and Bill Clinton always charismatic? It's a combination of being born with it and practicing it. I read that JFK was a self-described introvert - that if he wasn't a politician he would've been a lowly journalist. He then campaigned 14 hours a day, continued to make speeches and practice his leadership and charm. That gives me hope that people don't have to be extroverts to be charismatic. But they do have to exude a certain number of traits - confidence, leadership, determination, all of that enables people to believe that you are naturally charismatic.