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63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop

#1 User is offline   sloveu 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 07:57 AM

1. When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don’t go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say “Usually my dates buy me dinner first”

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don’t like ink on your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say “Oops! That’s the wrong name.”

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say “License and registration, please” right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing “La La La, I can’t hear you!”

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it’s a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar…..

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded.

32. When he’s telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm….only 5 of you here tonight…….

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don’t know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops…I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

59. If you are female, say I don’t do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say “Look at the pretty colors!”

62. Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party



Source: http://funnycity.org/2009/07/63-ways-to-piss-off-a-cop/
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#2 User is offline   xAatiix 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 11:46 AM

LMAOOOO!
Some of these are hilarious!
I would totally try it!
[If I wanna get my ass kicked!]
The Penguiinz Are Coming For YOU!
Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid

Icon creds to Monie with the maaad skillz! :P
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#3 User is offline   TinaaSmileys 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 02:12 PM

Pwahahaha, This made my day (:
tongue.gif
Smileys(:
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#4 User is offline   chapstirical 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 03:37 PM

yeah, I wanna be amused and make them a bit frustrated, but I don't wanna die....
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#6 User is offline   vesp 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 04:00 PM

I'd probably only do this if I wanted to get in even more trouble.
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#7 User is offline   last love. 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 06:25 PM

QUOTE (sloveu @ Jul 14 2009, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar…..



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. This made my day. I think I'd have to be dead drunk to do any of these.


YOU ARE MY SHY BOY; BYE-BYE, BAD BOY.
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#8 User is offline   Starberriee 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 08:53 PM

I would be holding crack, if I were to say any of these.
Cause' then I know I can't make it any worse.

Fun things to say if you were screwed.
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#9 User is offline   dudeilovefood 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 09:37 PM

LOL @ ALL OF THESE.
laugh.gif reminds me of the old retired man that kept bothering an officer and agve tickets to another man's car.

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#10 User is offline   Shrurikan 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 10:28 PM

haha
random
i feel lyk tryin them but i wuld get my ass wuped
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#11 User is offline   smylies 

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 11:52 PM

lol you would so get arrested.
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#12 User is offline   Rainity 

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Posted 15 July 2009 - 03:10 AM

^ i know HAHA.
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#13 User is offline   xx_nicole_xx 

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Posted 15 July 2009 - 03:51 PM

these are some good stuff!!! LOL
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#14 User is offline   Honey.bee 

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Posted 15 July 2009 - 04:22 PM

QUOTE (sloveu @ Jul 14 2009, 08:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party

Love these, gave me a good laugh.
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#15 User is offline   k r e m e s 

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Posted 16 July 2009 - 09:32 PM

If you're a girl, a few of actions may get you let off a ticket.
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#16 User is offline   vietbaby_ 

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Posted 18 July 2009 - 02:42 AM

I wouldn't want to end up worse than what my situation was if i tried this LOL.
But some these just made me laughhh (:

got me like oh my god, i'm so in love._____

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#17 User is offline   angelarr 

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Posted 18 July 2009 - 02:55 AM

Lol i heard one from a friend:

Apparently, if you're name is "Bart" they won't take you seriously because they link it back to bart Simpson?

Not really sure if anyone else has heard this one..
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#18 User is offline   meimei__KOUSEKI 

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Posted 18 July 2009 - 06:04 AM

QUOTE
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.


gawd. all these lulz are totally killing me xD
"You have your way. I have my way.
As for the right way, the correct way,
and the only way, it does not exist."
- Friedrich Nietzsche


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#19 User is offline   Jaevirus 

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Posted 18 July 2009 - 01:10 PM

These are hilarious!
I would try it but don't want to actually get arrested.

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#20 User is offline   Me2 

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Posted 22 July 2009 - 10:13 PM

QUOTE (xAatiix @ Jul 14 2009, 03:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
LMAOOOO!
Some of these are hilarious!
I would totally try it!
[If I wanna get my ass kicked!]

lol agreed
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#21 User is offline   CrazyGooods 

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 07:51 AM

laugh.gif try doing that to your family member if he/she is a cop
There is gonna be hell to pay..
The Platypus is mother nature's way of saying
I made this out of the spare parts on the workshop floor and it can still fcking cripple you!
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