[MIKI♥]

my parents think i have body dysmorphic disorder and want me to see a psychiatrist
i think deep inside i know what i'm doing is unhealthy but i can't control it

when i was in 9th grade, i just moved to a new city
that year, 2 girls constantly picked on my clothing, appearance, intelligence, etc.
i wasn't used to being made fun of since i came from a 'shelted' private school
and considered myself to be quite social and have a lot of friends
i think that's when i started becoming obsessed with my appearance

i'm currently 16, 5'5 and 106-108lb
i constantly study myself in the mirror and look at all my imperfections
my nose, eyes, calves, thighs, hairstyle, clothing, etc.
many people compliment me on my skin because it's pale and i never get pimples
so i'm obsessed with maintaining that so i have at least one positive attribute
i feel like i must lose 10lb or else i will forever be an overweight and unattractive person
for me, dressing nicely, losing weight and hairstyles are things i have control over
so i can change those things about myself to make my appearance better
but my face will always be the same unless i get surgery

sometimes i don't even want to go to social events because of my appearance
i feel like i'm unattractive and not skinny enough so i can't face others, it would be embarassing
plus i absolutely hate taking photos with others because i always look hideous
for profile photos and everything i have to take at least 100+ photos for me to find one that is semi okay looking to use
when i do go outside i feel like i need my clothes and hair to look really nice so they can be a distraction from my face
i made a plan to get plastic surgery when i am 18 in japan with my friend and then go to a university where nobody will recognise me
my parents told me i am not allowed to get any form of plastic surgery because they think i won't be able to stop if i do
i feel like if i don't get it i'll be ugly forever and nobody will want me
i feel like if i don't get it my appearance will prevent me from achieving things i want in life
i feel like if i don't get it i'll never be satisfied with myself
even though people do tell me i'm pretty/cute i think they are lies to make me feel better

now that i'm writing this i feel like this disorder will take control of me if i don't stop it
i don't know what to do, its gotten progressively worse since summer break

please help~ u_u

[soyabeangirl16]

well, the first good thing that you did was let these feelings out.

i do think talking to a psychiatrist would be a really big help.
but you have to want to change first.

try to do this every day:
at the end of the day, look into a mirror and find at least one good thing about yourself, one part of you that looks good, or one good thing you did today. and try to have a new one each week.
its going to be very hard to change your whole outlook, but you do need to realize you are an amazing person with potential to be great, and you need to let yourself succeed in life. dont be holding yourself back.
please update with your progress. i hope to see progress

good luck!

[*Gonie]

like soyabeangirl16 said, it's a good that you're talking about this but it's best for you to seek professional help... we can all give you encouragment but we can't give you the same help that a psychiatrist or therapist can...

best of luck to you and get better soon!

[megan92]

oh mann what you describe sounds a lot like me. after i took a shower today i spent nearly an hour observing my body in the mirror and thinking of all the things i want to change about it. for like the past year i've been completely obsessed with trying to make my thighs smaller. just turned 17, i'm 5'6" 110 lbs but i don't think i look it AT ALL. i also want to lose weight and i've pretty much put my life on hold for it. i don't want to do anything and i stopped hanging out with a lot of my friends because of it.

these three statesments are pretty much my thoughts as well:

i feel like if i don't get it i'll be ugly forever and nobody will want me
i feel like if i don't get it my appearance will prevent me from achieving things i want in life
i feel like if i don't get it i'll never be satisfied with myself

i don't know what to tell you. it'd be good to get help. i tried to tell my mom about how i feel but she really doesn't understand the extent of how bad my body image really is. it's frustrating because she thinks it can be fixed so easily so i just don't bring it up anymore. it just sucks. i'm a totally different person. i was kind of chubby before but i was more outgoing/social. now that i'm obsessed with weight/appearance i have no life outside of that and only best friend i can talk to, but we are both weight obsessed so we don't really "help" each other in a positive way.

[deyn]

This kind of attitude is an easy precursor to an eating disorder. I know because I have been through my own little journey of eating disorders. But all I can tell you is that people don't scrutinize your weight and body like you do. They don't notice that you've put on half a pound or your thigh circumference went up a centimeter. The weight issue, the body image is all in your mind.

[mxxahrk01]

I really really understand how you feel...
I'm actually like that too. I observe myself for at least 5 minutes and tell myself I need to lose more weight, fix up my hair, eat less, my face is too ugly, my legs are too fat. And also I do that everytime I pass by my living room mirror. Its like a disease, I can't stop.
I tell my friends I'm ugly and fatt SO much, I'm pretty sure they're fed up by it
And to be honest, I think when I'm on a diet, it gets worse. Since I can't let out my emotional feelings out on food, I become more depressed.
And later on, I became negative about everything in general. Not just about myself, but I end up judging people I don't even know that well on how they look and became not a positive person. Now I'm trying to fix myself up in the summer so I can be the person I used to be.

Being concerned about how I look, I never thought it was a bad thing, and I still don't think it's a bad thing.
I think everyone does care about how they look but i think it's all about how you think about it.

First... I know this sounds really retarded, but go to the mirror, and scream at yourself and tell yourself you're beautiful. I did this to myself after a friend of mine told me she had to do it at a church retreat, and it really helped her, and you know what, it really helped me. I know you'll feel awkward and stuff, but when I did it, I started crying and screaming and letting out all my feelings I had in myself, all the things I felt, and it felt really good.

This didn't recover me fully, but I felt very good about myself, if you have a friend who can really support you, do it with them, so you can support eachother.

I hoped this helped! (:

[MisterLy]

*grabs flamethrower*
Where exactly do those girls live?

[MsFeng]

well, the first good thing that you did was let these feelings out.

i do think talking to a psychiatrist would be a really big help.
but you have to want to change first.

try to do this every day:
at the end of the day, look into a mirror and find at least one good thing about yourself, one part of you that looks good, or one good thing you did today. and try to have a new one each week.
its going to be very hard to change your whole outlook, but you do need to realize you are an amazing person with potential to be great, and you need to let yourself succeed in life. dont be holding yourself back.
please update with your progress. i hope to see progress

good luck!

i agree with her
my mentor from this group tells his mom and little sister that they're beautiful everyday because he believes that a lot of girls have the same thoughts as you.
maybe you should have a good friend do that to you too because no one should feel like that :/
everyone's unique in their own same way, and attractive (meaning interesting to look at, blahblah) too.