[hannieoon]

I will keep this short and simple. I've been talking to this guy for the past two months. We knew each other since high school and we talked on and off. Well this time when we talked, things got serious and we decided to go on a date when he comes back (he's studying abroad in Japan). He's a sweet guy and he always tries to make me happy and he really like me. Well it's literally two weeks before he comes back and I just don't have the same feelings that I did. I don't feel attracted to him other than him being a friend. We haven't talked for a couple of days because he's been busy and normally I would want to talk to him or try to find a way but now I feel indifferent. Also, we've been putting a lot of expectations/pressure on a relationship that hasn't even started and we're both feeling it. So I told him how I was feeling right now because he's directly involved in this situation and well... even if i tell him now or when he comes back, I'm going to look like a b!tch either way.

I honestly don't know if I'm feeling this way because I'm getting antsy and I'm tired of waiting (which is stupid because I've been talking to him for about two months and seems like I'm giving up right before the end) and trying or because I just don't like him anymore. So, my question is whether I should still see him when he comes back. I guess that, in a way, is giving him a chance at least before I make up my mind on my own. I know I'll regret it if I don't give him a chance. And seeing him will confirm how I really feel about him. I'm not seeing him out of pity or because i feel obligated. But at the same time, that would be so selfish and disregarding how he would feel if we met up and if I didn't like him then it would hurt him even more. Any advice?

[Lie]

I don't see that hanging out with him or going for coffee with him (and seeing what happens from there) would hurt anything IF you make it clear to him that you don't have the same feelings, and that he shouldn't get his hopes up.

[hsin531]

Are you even sure you don't like him anymore? I think you need to see him and spend some time with him to make absolute sure of what your feelings are for him. Then, after you determine what your feelings are, you can give him an honest answer. I think it would be even more selfish and mean to not even see him and give him a chance especially if you are still confused about the nature of your feelings for him.

[Meenuh]

Well.. that's what dates are for right? To get to know someone to see if you can turn it into something more. If you still don't see him the same way then make it clear to him and let him know that you just see him as a friend.

[ny-sw / ny_sw.]

^ agreed. (: go ahead and give him a chance, it is kinda like giving up near the end.
and when you go out on a date, you'll know whether you still have feelings for him or not.

[alisuh]

It seems like you already made up your mind on seeing him and I agree with your decision. It's a good idea to give him another chance, in case there's still something there.

[heineken.]

I think you're just nervous because you two both had some kind of expectation or idea what's going to happen when he comes back. However, there's nothing wrong about sitting down to talk! I'm sure he has a lot of stories to tell about when he was studying abroad. Just think of some easy conversational topics - I'm sure you'll be more relaxed when the conversation gets going. Just give it a chance, go with the flow, and if anything you two can just remain friends =P

[HaplessChild]

If you don't want to see him, don't see him. It's as simple as that.

[itrayya]

you should see him when he comes back.
no one says you have to date him.
but as a friend, give him a warm welcome back.

if you see him and you're still feeling the same, it's okay too.

i think it's just the fact that he's coming
and it has you feeling antsy. i know that feeling.

but, there's no pressure here.
do or no do.
but as a mature woman who can face anything that comes her way, do.
haha. my philosophy in life, brilliant right?

GOOD LUCK!!!!
take care.

[hannieoon]

Thanks everyone for the nice responses. I am going to see him. He did say what's the point of meeting when he comes back so I was a little unsure but he said he wanted to see me. So I got a bit confused. I'm hoping that good will come out of seeing him Thanks again!

[koezane]

actually, with one exception, i dont think you should see him when he comes back if you dont like him after such deep chats over 2 months then you probably will never like him :/

the only exception is a mater of courtesy to him. you probably should warn him you are n longer interested but he will meet him on the chance (and itis not a small chance) you find his physical presence suddenly attractive. it happens.

actually, with one exception, i dont think you should see him when he comes back if you dont like him after such deep chats over 2 months then you probably will never like him :/

the only exception is a mater of courtesy to him. you probably should warn him you are n longer interested but he will meet him on the chance (and itis not a small chance) you find his physical presence suddenly attractive. it happens.

[oh tangerine x]

I guess that, in a way, is giving him a chance at least before I make up my mind on my own. I know I'll regret it if I don't give him a chance. And seeing him will confirm how I really feel about him.

Sounds like you found your own answer already.
take a chance!

[brownman90561495]

sudden change of hearts?

actually the answer is right there in your post. oh_tangerine_x has already mentioned it above.

if the guy is meant to get hurt with the right reason, he will take it wholeheartedly. if not, he's not so much of a REAL GUY.