[ai wei rong]

This is a long story, but i just wish that someone can give me advices.




Here goes,

I moved to a new school just last year, and i made 2 good friends among my other classmates in my class... Lets call the younger one A, and the older one B. Not to mention i trusted them really much.

In that same year, i fought with B about a guy and also how she was treating me just because i turned down his offer to be his girlfriend. Thought it was just for a while, i said some nasty things about B to A since only A understood me at that time.. Somehow things got much better and so, we tried to forget about the past.

Then this year came. There was a huge misunderstanding between A and me + B.. both separate reasons although we fought with the same person and during that time B and myself got a lot closer so we had one of those deep talks and because we were so mad at A most of the time, we talked about her, let me add.. REALLY nasty things.

For about 6 months, this kept going on, till just recently A and B started talking again, and on that day they spoke, happenly i was not in school when things became like this. Apparently they talked a lot and somehow the topic became about me and the nasty things i said about them.. *assuming.*

Those i can take although it hurts to hear that people you trust are turning their backs on you.
Being me, i sent them both a message saying how sorry i was for saying such things and it was all out of anger and that i wished i never said such a thing about them both, and everything was of my best intension.. So they accepted my apology and things were a little better for myself in school..

So now the problem gets bigger.

AB opened their mouth to another girl, C and since she loves gossips + rumors, She spread everything like hell fire to everyone.

I never expected that every small thing i said about people, would just spill from their mouths, and the worse part is that not only i said those things, THEY ALL DID TOO.. yet everything is my fault. ):
I really trusted A and B when i said those things, and i never knew things would be as chaotic as it is or would they remember every word to the detail just to hurt me..

Now everyone in school hates me just because of a small comment i made about them.. I cant survive in school for another 5 months with everyone hating me..

Others tell me i must just go through with school if not i will not pass my O'lvls.. but with an environment like this i wish i can just move out, but i only need to finish this then im out of school..

Someone.. please give me advices ):
i have no more friends..


EDIT:
``` i apologized to C, and she called me a two-faced BI*CH. ):
apparently she told more people about it, and there are more people hating me when they dont even know me well..
i kept trying to talk to A and B, but they would either just ignore me 200x times or give me a monotonous voice. ):

i just feel so emo and down that i feel like killing myself, although that wouldn't help me with anything at all..



EDIT AGAIN: >.<

Everyone,, thank you for your wise comments..

I surely did learn my mistakes from the beginning.

but being me, i don't think twice before i say and i usually think negative things..

How can i stop myself from being like this?

[Trinity <3]

Well, you've learned your lesson about talking behind people's backs now didn't you..

I'm sure your high school life is NOT over. You can't make friends through rumors and gossip. You make friends through bonds and trust. Obviously, over the years your two friends A and B are not exactly the most mature kids in the group. Eventually, these things you've talked about behind them will die out, and you will have friends, but maybe not right now. There's only one thing that YOU need to do and the truth is you need to grow up.

Focus on school for now, because the people around you are not the people you should be hanging around with in the first place if they aren't really your friends at all.

[ai wei rong]

Well yeah i really did learn my lesson..
but who knew that even thought u trusted people they can hurt u in every way possible.

how come that its only me being blamed?
and how do i try to convince myself that i shouldn't care about what people say or think?

[Trinity <3]

^ We all learn our lessons about people in one way or another, usually it's the one that hurts you the most.

It's 3 VS 1 basically, and you're the under dog in this situation. No one is supporting you because those three people are spreading your words like wildfire. I mean.. you can blame those other girls, but the only one here is the blame yourself for saying it in the first place.

In reality, you can't convince yourself anything because we will always care about what other people say, no matter what we tell ourselves. For now, I think the only way for you to get over this is to ignore it and focus on yourself. I don't want to disappoint you but you might have to wait for time to heal your problems.

[x. S o R a]

that's because the world is unfair.
therefore, you get all the blame when you're not the only one who did stuff.
basically, just take this as a lesson.
from now on, dont bad mouth about other people.
that's what i do.
if i feel like bad mouthing about people, i tell my bestestest friend.
i guess you need to find someone you can really really trust.
preferably a guy because guys dont spread rumors like girls do.
my bestestest friend is a guy
learn from your mistakes and dont repeat them again.
be more careful and think three times before you want to say something.
i guess for now, you should wait till the fire burns out then try to do more good things.
good things -> good karma. ^^
i had everyone against me too last time but now look, they see me as a great friend now.
when things are suppose to happen, things will happen.
look at my case, it took a year.
i actually gave up already but in the end, when justice prevailed, it felt good

[brownman90561495]

i trust you very well that you do realize that you backstabbed someone first before anyone else did.

also, you have to realize that ANGER can take you to places that you don't want to be in if you're not in control. the mind is physically situated over the heart. physiologically, it should be the same thing. take control.

to make things worse, ANGER + BACKSTABBING = DISASTER. pretty much you have created a recipe for a social disaster.

but this is far from over. looking at the brighter side, you STILL have 5 months to go. 5 months for you to fix this mess. and you have to start from yourself. remember the golden rule -> DON'T DO TO OTHER WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO UNTO YOU. but this ain't a quick solution. even if you quit backstabbing now, some people may still do backstab you. but you should stay firm.

if in your heart you still want to be friends with A and B, talk to them wholeheartedly. exhaust yourself in explaining yourself to them, and don't mind the others for now. if you do, i hope they'd turn to you, fix your issues and get back being friends like you used to be.

if that fails, i am not sure if looking for other friends would work for you, but i wouldn't recommend that.

hmmmm if all else fails, yea maybe you should transfer schools.

i hope you have learned your lesson.

[yummylolly15]

uh..... i have to admit. i went through the same thing. but i'm much wiser now.

i had this period which pretty much everyone rejected and hated me. here's a tip.

let them know how sorry you are. give them some time to think so don't be clingy and seat by yourself, (i did that, but thankfully, i wasn't a loner, some guy decided to sit next to me.)

and don't stop trying. alwasy try to talk to them and eventually everyone will forget it.

if you need anymore help, talk to me

[B L o T T - ii]

i don't think u should be the one apologising to A+B.... especially don't apologise to C
WHY SHOULD U??
A+B are immature, they said things as well..... and when they get back together, they just ditch u? well, how nice of them. atm, it's them that's hurting u. they should apologise for telling A, for hurting u - their once good friend, and for everyone hating u.
u did nothing wrong but say some bad things . so what? u were angry at the time. u trust ppl easily. they're the ones who broke that trust. another reason they should apologise.
as for C, u didn't do anything wrong to her. she should apologise to u for telling the whole school.

don't apologise, u'll seem weak and desperate. A, B & C are obviously immature. they're not worth being ur friends. make new friends.

it's them who owe u an apology, u don't owe them anything.

but i hope u learnt ur lesson~ xP haha. don't talk bad about anyone, and don't trust ppl so easily.

i was like u once, but then i learnt from my mistakes.

[xHennyx]

Becoming emo and killing yourself is not a solution to the problem at all, so don't think about committing suicide or cutting yourself. What you should do is ignore A+B, they don't deserve to be your friends. Ignore C too or you can smack C across the face, wait you can smack A+B too. I know that you'll look like a loner at school with no one to hang out with, but you can find a hobby :3 Like reading your favorite book, drawing in your sketchbook, listening to your music. Just look for a quiet place where no one will find you and you do have friends. You have soompi! And I wanna be your friend! Also, don't even bother apologizing to A,B & C cause they're no goods. XD

[xxvictastic]

the same thing happened to me.
but not about the C part ..
the people like A & B who did the same to me, just
started talking a little bit, but it didn`t spread around school.
that year was hell for me :[
i was basically a loner ..
but after that year, i just forgot about it
+ made new friends.

i hoped you learned your lesson and this event really showed
who your true friends were.
don`t worry about it, later on, you will definitely make new friends
that you can trust, who will not backstab you like this.

however, it may happen again ..
society is like this + so is the real world :/
we just have to deal with ignorant people like this.

[heineken.]

Ah. Something very similar happened to me.

I told my best friend (and trust me, we were EXTREMELY close) a huge huge huge secret. We have a mutual friend, and I told her specifically not to tell him.. and I find out from another person that she told the guy I told not to tell right after we separated.

I called her and started crying and asking why she told him, and she basically just said she had no one else to talk to about it.. but it was my business and it didn't involve anybody else. She just apologized after after seriously contemplating to end our friendship, I forgave her.

This was a girl who I could tell everything to, and who can tell me anything. I trusted her more than I trusted myself. After this, I realize you just can't fully trust anyone, no matter how close you are to them. If you don't want things to spread, just don't say anything. I have a private xanga no one knows about, and I just write how I feel there without anyone's names. It makes me feel like someone's listening.. it's kind of therapeutic and it prevents me from saying anything to anyone.

Anyway, I understand how sometimes anger could bring out the worst in people, but you'd be surprised how people forgive over time. It's hard now when you think everybody's looking at you and judging, but they're going to do what they want anyway, so pay no mind to them. This is an excellent opportunity to focus on school and nothing else. You pretty much already did what you could - apologize. It's up to either A and B to forgive you. and honestly, C has no business whatsoever spreading things that involve you, A, and B. She's doing what you did - talking behind other's backs. You should not apologize to her at all - I'm not sure why you did in the first place.

This is just high school anyway, you'll be off to college and meet a totally different group of people. Your circle of friends change every 4-5 years, so it may inconvenience you now, but things will totally blow over. Take this opportunity to learn from it.

[mchelly114]

that someone is you. why make friends if you're just going to betray them and talk crap?
sorry to say, but you deserved it and now you've learned your lesson. saying nasty things about friends behind their backs never solves problems. people have mouths, they talk.

you backstabbed your friends and it doesn't matter if they talked crap about each other to you too. they still have the right to disapprove of you. the best thing you can do now (and that you've already done) is apologize. leave them alone and if they forgive and forget enough to allow you to be their friend again, good for you. if not, look for new friends (REAL friends) and treat them the way friends should be treated. you didn't have to apologize to c because she shouldn't have gotten her big nose involved, but what's done is done. just leave the people and situation without complaining about how you guys go to the same school and are in the same classes. eventually you'll find new friends to be with - if you don't run your mouth about them too. give yourself time and focus on school in the meantime. don't bother killing yourself.

[BAZINGA!]

Stop talking mini cooper about other people and then they'll stop talking mini cooper about you.

You do realize you brought this upon yourself right?

[stupid.ity]

High school is not the end of your life.
My solution, CONCENTRATE on school.
I know you've done wrong, but you've got to move on...

[rectitude*]

All I can say is that you should learn from that. Before you open your mouth & start talking about peopleyou call your 'friends' think twice. The consequences sure bring you down, so now just concentrate on other things and who cares what people have to say. You can't do anything about it now.

[HaplessChild]

Never say anything about a friend that you wouldn't say to their face.

A real friend, you can tell them anything to their face and they can take it [though you still have to watch how you say it.]

You're in HS. It will blow over.

Honestly, the best way to handle it, when you've said something mean and been caught, is to stick to your guns and your reasons for saying it.

"Yes, I called you a slut because you kept telling me how many guys you were sleeping with. I was just stating the obvious."
"Yes I called you fat, you're 5'2" and 150 lbs. I was just stating the obvious."

You can't be a two-face biznitch if you're willing to say it to their face.

[smileyface(;]

tbh , it was your fault that you did say bad things behind other people's backs . but theen again , EVERYONE does it once in a while . I have done it , and Im sure other people have to . my advice to you , if youre gonna say something make sure you tell someone that you have known for a LONG time and that you know you can trust them . not someone who you just met . or instead of talking behind peoples back , you could say it straight up . Im pretty sure people would rather hear the truth than a lie . : )

besides , youve got better things to worry about than people hating you . like your grades etc . if you transfer , or do something to not get involved with the school , then youre just letting them winn .

[xDMufffins]

There's nothing wrong with talking about other people.
Everyone does it.
BUT it IS wrong to talk crap about other people.
Don't say anything you can't say to the other person's face.

You befriended two people who you trust and thought you could always trust.
You did them wrong when you started talking crap about them. Now you know how they feel.
I don't blame them for dropping you as their friend. I know YOU don't like it when they did that to you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to be done to you.
You could always rant to your friends, such as

"Oh my gawd why is she so mean to me? What did I ever do to her ): "

But it's wrong if you said

"Oh my gawd she's such a B!TCH. She's so friggin stupid. Haha!"

I'm glad that this has happened to you. Now you know what you did was wrong and hopefully, you will change yourself.
Stop leaning on other people. You should learn to be independent.
C had no business getting involved. Befriend other people. I don't believe EVERYONE in your grade believes gossip.
Start over and don't start doing wrong again. If you want to let out your anger, write about it and then tear it up and trash it.
Focus on school.
If you feel like dying, you are weak. You will miss a lot in life that you would regret.
This is just a SMALL disater in your life.
Pick yourself up and be a better person. It will soon blow over.

[Meenuh]

Yeah .. I would have stopped being friends with them as soon as we got into so many arguments. Lol.

What I don't get is how they can call you a twofaced pinkberry when they're just as bad as you are. If it were me I would have admitted and told them that I was a two faced pinkberry but so are they.

Just move on and learn from your mistakes. If it gets to a point where they start harassing you i'd go talk to an administrator that you're close to. Like everyone has said just concentrate on school.

[Ninshark]

Oh dang, that sucks. everyone hates you...but at least everyone knows you now huh? hmmm...do you have other friends? and why don't you talk to your old friends from your prev. school about it. I'm sure they'd help. I hate people who gossip. happened 2x to me, someone nagged me constantly to tell them something, w/in a week, the torment I received from the stupid nagger was only a shadow left behind by the bulk caused by everyone who heard about my, uh, secret info. I guess.