[AznMonkee]

So bascially i will be attending an engagement celebration sometime very soon (yes i left it till the last min)
The engagement party will be held at the parents house.

so what kind of gifts do i get for an event like this?

im not very close with this couple infact ive only met her partner once HAHAH.

however on the invitation they have stated that they prefer cash/money.

so how much money do i give them? and what is an appropriate present for an event like this.

thanks guys coz i seriously have no clue

[Tennyo]

I'm going to say $100-200, but lean toward the short side cause you (appear to be) young and not as if it were say, your parents giving money. And remember to find a tasteful envelop to put it in, if not an envelope.

I realize that asian weddings tend to prefer money over presents like american weddings, so do not feel bashful about this gift if it is clearly what they stated. If you would still feel weird giving only money, you can give them something small like a card wishing congrats or a small knick knack of sorts. Think of what more you will give at the actual wedding and be comforted with that thought.

[lhkim85]

They said they prefer money? That's considered a breach of etiquette; you should never explicitly ask for money. I guess it's a bit different in Asian cultures, although I have never experienced this myself. Get them whatever you feel comfortable with.

[Meenuh]

They said they prefer money? That's considered a breach of etiquette; you should never explicitly ask for money. I guess it's a bit different in Asian cultures, although I have never experienced this myself. Get them whatever you feel comfortable with.

I don't know about engagements but everytime I went to a wedding everyone would give money as gifts in little envelopes. Lol. I don't think I saw anyone carrying boxes or anything like that. Everyone gave cash. I seriously bet they raked in a lot of dough that way. Hahaha.

[Tennyo]

I don't know about engagements but everytime I went to a wedding everyone would give money as gifts in little envelopes. Lol. I don't think I saw anyone carrying boxes or anything like that. Everyone gave cash. I seriously bet they raked in a lot of dough that way. Hahaha.

Well, they should never EXPLICITLY ask for money. They shouldn't explicitly ask for presents in general, they should accept what is given without asking. I think that is the breach of etiquette.

But yes, Asian cultures prefer to accept money rather than actual gifts. Things such as registries aren't always applicable, nor do we have bridal showers where the bride gets even more gifts. Typically the maid of honor follows the bride and groom around as they greet each table at the reception where envelopes full of money are passed. The maid of honor carries a bag to which to deposit all of the envelopes as they go along.

At least every wedding I've been to does that, it is more Chinese than ASIAN, I would say.

[HERMIT]

so what kind of gifts do i get for an event like this?

however on the invitation they have stated that they prefer cash/money.

I think you've already answered your own question.
I guess your only dilemma is to figure out how much you want to give.

[lhkim85]

Well, they should never EXPLICITLY ask for money. They shouldn't explicitly ask for presents in general, they should accept what is given without asking. I think that is the breach of etiquette.

But yes, Asian cultures prefer to accept money rather than actual gifts. Things such as registries aren't always applicable, nor do we have bridal showers where the bride gets even more gifts. Typically the maid of honor follows the bride and groom around as they greet each table at the reception where envelopes full of money are passed. The maid of honor carries a bag to which to deposit all of the envelopes as they go along.

At least every wedding I've been to does that, it is more Chinese than ASIAN, I would say.

Although that particular custom may be Chinese, I know for sure that at Korean weddings money is a common gift. You are right, though; I meant that you should never explicitly ask for money.

[kelvin6]

I usually don't hear invitations requesting money or gifts. Typically that is assumed by the attendies. If I got a invitation to a engagement, well more specifically a wedding, I would naturally bring a gift (if it was someone I know well) or bring money (probably not cash, but a check for a lump sum).

Now I have seen invitations stating that they prefer not to receive money or gifts, but instead a donation to a group that the couple supports.

[Meenuh]

Well, they should never EXPLICITLY ask for money. They shouldn't explicitly ask for presents in general, they should accept what is given without asking. I think that is the breach of etiquette.

But yes, Asian cultures prefer to accept money rather than actual gifts. Things such as registries aren't always applicable, nor do we have bridal showers where the bride gets even more gifts. Typically the maid of honor follows the bride and groom around as they greet each table at the reception where envelopes full of money are passed. The maid of honor carries a bag to which to deposit all of the envelopes as they go along.

At least every wedding I've been to does that, it is more Chinese than ASIAN, I would say.

I'm not sure if they explicitly ask for money or not but I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Lol. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me. I mean, they're preparing for a new life so it's understandable. I don't see it any different as asking for a toaster or a blender but I guess that's just me.

I mean, if it was for a birthday i'd certainly be like "wtf? they're asking for money?!" but yeah. I didn't even know you give gifts at engagement events. Thought it was only the day of the wedding ceremony.

[lhkim85]

I'm not sure if they explicitly ask for money or not but I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Lol. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me. I mean, they're preparing for a new life so it's understandable. I don't see it any different as asking for a toaster or a blender but I guess that's just me.

I mean, if it was for a birthday i'd certainly be like "wtf? they're asking for money?!" but yeah. I didn't even know you give gifts at engagement events. Thought it was only the day of the wedding ceremony.

It is also considered rude and tacky to list where you are registered with your invitation. Gifts are never "required" at an engagement party, although they are expected at weddings. I personally would not bring anything to the party but my congratulations to the happy couple.

[Tennyo]

It is also considered rude and tacky to list where you are registered with your invitation. Gifts are never "required" at an engagement party, although they are expected at weddings. I personally would not bring anything to the party but my congratulations to the happy couple.

Yeah, actually everything I said was about wedding receptions. I did not know anything other than well wishes were required at an engagement party. You are basically funding their wedding at this point.

I talk to my roommates, who are all American and attending a thousand weddings this summer, about the hoops people go through for weddings. It's become more of a week long event than it is just a day. There's engagement parties, bridal showers, rehearsals are just as important, and then the big day. Not to mention bachelor/bachelorette parties. And all of these required presents or another, especially the bridal shower which was just breakfast and opening presents. When did ceremonies become so diluted?

[AznMonkee]

awww thanks guys.

to clear things up, i don't think it is just an asian custom anymore coz the couple are italian and australian.
yes and personally i never knew that you give gifts at engagements i thought it was more for weddings.

however i have decided that i might just give them my daily wage from work and hopefully a little gift (like an ornament) or something.
we are young and as for me im still studying so i have never been to an engagement party before esp in the western country so im so lost haha.