[laffly]

My boyfriend of 10 months and I are taking our first relationship break. I was the one to suggest it because I've been feeling overwhelmed from school, work, our relationship, and everything else. It's only been day 1 and I'm feeling terrible right now. I keep crying. I'm quite confused about my feelings. I'm not sure if I'm sad because I regret the decision, that I miss him, or that I'm feeling so guilty from this. He has treated me well, respected me, and never done anything intentional to hurt me, but I always pick fights with him. I only do so because I'm extremely sensitive, and small things he does/says can upset me even if he means well. But he would always put up with me. So I'm thinking that I mostly feel bad because I'm putting such a great guy through so much pain. Every time I think about him now, I feel horrible because I can imagine him being really hurt. I've told him countless times that he doesn't deserve all the things I put him through, but he would always try to fight it and convince me to let him stick with me. But we agreed on a break today during which we will have zero contact with each other. After the break, we will decide if we want to get back together.


So my questions are:
Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
If so,
How long did it last and how did it go?
Did you continue your relationship after the break?
Did your feelings toward each other change?
Did you realize anything during the break?
Overall, did the break help your relationship?


I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid he might realize he doesn't want to be with me anymore.
Any advice? Sharing your story would be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[jaeka]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
We didn't really decide to have a break, it just happened.
If so,
How long did it last and how did it go?
It lasted from October 07 until August 08, officially. But I would really say October to about February/March 08. We started hanging out then and doing BF & GF things.
Did you continue your relationship after the break?
We are now back together, yes.
Did your feelings toward each other change?
We liked eachother more.
Did you realize anything during the break?
We realised we couldn't be apart.
Overall, did the break help your relationship?
I would say so. Helped us appreciate what was not there, even if it was only for a small time.

[Kira_Hyuu]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?

- YESH!

If so,
How long did it last and how did it go?

- About 2 months give or take a week probably

Did you continue your relationship after the break?

- Yeap, we continued dating for a whole year and yeah still going well....

Did your feelings toward each other change?

- Yesh, we sorta valued each other's time together alot better than before...

Did you realize anything during the break?

- Yeap, that we needed each other to feel happy and wholesome...

Overall, did the break help your relationship?

- It probably did, but i mean sometimes it doesn't work out to plan, like i mean know a pair that took a break over the summer hols and yea next time they saw each other - two seperate relationships were beginning...well honestly thats still a positive i guess she they looked so weird together.....(sushhhh) ^^

[Painterlyy]

Uhm..nope.
Then again, i've only been in one relationship

[laffly]

Thank you for the replies, guys.

I'm not handling the break very well. I keep looking at my phone hoping that he'd call. I think this break might make him realize how much easier it is for him to be without me than to be with me and that all the cr@p he went through for me wasn't worth it. Yeah, I know, I brought this upon myself. I miss him. I just don't know how to deal with this. =\

[blue_wishesx3]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
Yes

How long did it last and how did it go?
We're currently on a break but it started.. two-three weeks ago.

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
cant answer that since i cant predict the future

Did your feelings toward each other change?
right now i'd say that my feelings toward him have changed. although i still love him it's just not the same
after the pain & hurt that he's put me through

Did you realize anything during the break?
that i can survive on my own without him. I am capable of being happy on my own =)

Overall, did the break help your relationship?

i dont know yet. ><

[justsopeachy813]

i don't get it. When you say break does that mean either of you can see other ppl and what usually causes it?

[Yuki]

I agree with ^

So basically either one of you can see other people? or a break as in stop seeing each other for awhile, but still can't go after others?

[BakaPrincess]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
Yeah, we did. It wasn't planned, it just happened.

How long did it last and how did it go?
It lasted 2 months, and it was terrible. We missed each other a lot and it was hard to cope with things for a while.

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
We eventually got back together after we realized that we still want to be together and are willing to make it work.

Did your feelings toward each other change?
We love each other a lot more, appreciate each other & all those little things we used to take for granted. Our communication has gotten a lot better and we're more understanding of each other now.

Did you realize anything during the break?
We had lots and lots of communication & trust problems.

Overall, did the break help your relationship?
It certainly did - a whole lot. It was something we needed at the moment because of everything that was going on. Now, we're much stronger as a couple and our trust have gotten a lot better too. Before, we were just a couple. But now, we're best friends & a couple.

[hewoniex]

whats your definition of a break? idont know... for me i don't believe in breaks. but i love my boyfriend a lot... and if it means taking a break then i'm willing to take it (we're having some probs).

but when your taking a break do you still talk? see each other? whats your definition?

[Jinnabon]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
yes (after about 16 months) during a very stressful time in both our lives

How long did it last and how did it go?
one day. it hardly even counts as a break because it was SO short but really we both realized pretty quickly that the idea of not being together was way more emotional baggage to handle than to work out a fight or work around other overwhelming parts of our lives. It isn't worth giving up the person you care about most because things just get tough, you have to work at it during those times- that's what a real relationship is.

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
Yes. We have been dating for 19 months now (just over a year and a half) and we couldn't be happier

Did your feelings toward each other change?
they grew stronger

Did you realize anything during the break?
i couldn't adjust to being without him in my life, i felt completely empty and my thoughts were fixated on him or keeping my mind off of him.
However, the most important thing i realized though was how much i took him for granted and vice versa. Now we appreciate each other and our passion/spark/fire was brought to newer heights. When you find someone you really click with and care about more than you can describe? a break won't keep you apart for long- it will eventually work out because you'll find that in the end you're both fighting for each other.

Overall, did the break help your relationship?
yes

[laffly]

i don't get it. When you say break does that mean either of you can see other ppl and what usually causes it?

I agree with ^

So basically either one of you can see other people? or a break as in stop seeing each other for awhile, but still can't go after others?

whats your definition of a break? idont know... for me i don't believe in breaks. but i love my boyfriend a lot... and if it means taking a break then i'm willing to take it (we're having some probs).

but when your taking a break do you still talk? see each other? whats your definition?

I think when most couples decide to take a break, they decide/discuss the conditions of the break with each other-- like the length of the break, whether you can contact each other or not, whether you can date other people or not, etc. So, a break is what you and your s/o decide it to be, unless the break just happens spontaneously without discussion. In me and my boyfriend's case, we decided to live as single individuals for as long as we need to be apart to sort out our thoughts, during which time, we will not have any contact with each other. I know we've decided to be "single" people, but it'd probably kill me if he decides to date other people during our break, in which case, I don't think I'd want to get back with him. During this time, I am just focusing on myself and my life.

[Penny Lane]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
- yes
If so, how long did it last and how did it go?
- about 4-5 months. it was pretty chaotic. i started dating someone else and we fought like crazy at the beginning... but then we calmed down and things just fell into place i suppose.
Did you continue your relationship after the break?
- yes!
Did your feelings toward each other change?
- they got stronger
Did you realize anything during the break?
- that i was ready to commit (that was one of my issues) and that i need to accept him for who he is and continue to accept him for he will grow to be. also, to be more patient. tons of stuff
Overall, did the break help your relationship?
- immensely. we've been together 4.5 years, and we love each other to pieces!

breaks are really devastating, so you have my sympathy. hang in there! breaks always happen for the best.

[demllequ]

I think being away from your s.o actually makes you appreciate him more.
a small break is pretty healthy i think

[nana_komatsu]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
yes,and im also the one who suggest it.

How long did it last and how did it go?
from Xmas day to the end of April = about 4 months

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
Yes ^^

Did your feelings toward each other change?
Changed.its hard to explain my feelings.I mean ,time changed our feelings,bcoz of our own pride we hurt each other.Maybe our mistake is take the break too long,4 months ,i mean..it left a deep scar in our heart,it made our relationship not innocent as before.

Did you realize anything during the break?
yes,i realized i love him so much, i cried a lot,i missed him alot.We both seems sick,he even had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks(but not only bcoz of our break but also the hard working he had in last year of hishschool).But at the same time i relized i can live without him.so complicated

Overall, did the break help your relationship?
i dont think it help.i mean, if you have some misunderstoods ( like u think he's not love you anymore,or he's cheating on you) before the break u shouldnt take that break.In my case, b4 our break ,he think i dont love him anymore,n im cheating on him with my close friend.n at that time im also jelious with a lot of girls who're around him since he's Kinga in my school.we got tired of all that things n hurt each other so i decied to take a break.but i relized that break made our relationship worse.


But it's when i was in highschool^^ now as i get older. i Think sometimes a break time like 1 or 2 weeks is good(but of course in case there'e misunderstoods bcoz the break will not solve the problems)

[myxo]

Single now, only referring to the ex.

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
Yup.. many many times, but only one stands out the most.

How long did it last and how did it go?
2 months, give or take a few days. I was miserable the entire 2 months. Tried to move on because it felt more like a 'break up' to me than just a break.

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
Yup, acted like nothing happened right afterwards.

Did your feelings toward each other change?
Yup, we no longer put up with each other's crap anymore. Any time something happened, break! We'de average 2 one-week long breaks every month for a good 5 months after that.

Did you realize anything during the break?
It was a hell of a lot more pleasant than I had thought. Every time we got on our breaks, I'd always thought I was miserable, but I was secretly addicted to the freedom of being single.

Overall, did the break help your relationship?
No. It strengthened our ability to let go. By the time we really broke up, we were so jaded from everything that letting go was the best option.

Oh, we didn't date other people during our breaks. It wasn't a written code or anything, but dating others would be grounds for immediate break-up with zero chances of getting back together.

[juicebox]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
yeahhh it was actually a break up... i broke up with him because although i reallyreally liked him, he kept telling me tht his feelings towards me was drifting, and he was telling me tht for 3 months...

If so,
How long did it last and how did it go?
the break up lasted 2 weeks? around tht much... ummm during the break, i was really missing him, thought about him a lot, and kept on thinking tht i was gonnabe lonely forever. but i accepted the fact tht his feelings wouldnt return and i started to try and get over him. and as cocky as it sounds, while i was at work, i got a lot of ppl asking for my number, kinda made me feel better about myself XD

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
yerr.... it was at our friends wedding, coz ages ago before the break up, we planned to go together coz it was far and i didnt want to drive, and since after the break up we were supposed to be "friends" so i thought why not. so before the wedding, he asked me to stay over his place overnight which made me feel real awkward, but it was after the wedding and before reception when we went back to his place to rest and he forced his kisses on me XD ppl told me tht i was spineless in taking him back but i still really liked him TT__TT but i still thought it was unfair tht he could be a pinkberry to me when jis feelings drift and take me back when he changes his mind.

Did your feelings toward each other change?
i think so, hes more considerate of my feelings now. and me? im still same. but we're both a lot more happier.

Did you realize anything during the break?
tht i wont be lonely forever XD he mightve realised something though i guess..

Overall, did the break help your relationship?
yeah.

[ecudni]

I have 2 incidences.. what does that say about me? ):


Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
Yes.

If so,
How long did it last and how did it go?

1) One month. I felt a lot more carefree..
2) Don't know. Sad, emotional, uneasy...

Did you continue your relationship after the break?

1) Nope.
2) Still figuring that out. But I'm leaning towards no.

Did your feelings toward each other change?

1) Yes. We knew it was time to let go.
2) I missed him more... =(

Did you realize anything during the break?

1) I realized that I didn't need him as much as i thought I did. I was okay without him. I was even happier without him.
2) I realized that I liked him more than I thought. But because of too much drama, it seems like it was wrong timing for us.

Overall, did the break help your relationship?

1) Helped us end it...
2) No, more complicated than ever.



I stopped believing in breaks.... =(

[vitamins]

Have you and your bf or gf ever decided to take a break from your relationship?
yep, it happened like before our 7th month..
i suggested a break coz i kinda need time to sort stuff out, i dono whether my feelings for him were as a bf
or as a friend. But he told me that if we go back as friends, i will lose everything T_T
If so,

How long did it last and how did it go?
I actually wanted like a really short break like a week, but he got impatient and called me on the 3rd day,
and telling me he missed me, couldnt sleep well the past few days.. and i cried

Did you continue your relationship after the break?
yep

Did your feelings toward each other change?
after the break we treasured each other more, and he tried to change his bad habits like going to pubs/bars
less often with his guy friends and as well as try to save money
[but in the end he spends all his $$ on me, treating me all the nice food]

Did you realize anything during the break?
yep, i realize that for me, he is willing to change, whether or not the change will be temporary or permanent
i will be there for him, i see so much of myself in him

Overall, did the break help your relationship?
it definitely helped, and we are more still grower stronger and stronger each day. I personally feel that a short breather
is good like a really short one, it makes me feel the loneliness without him for like 100++ hours

[kRaZiExLaDiE]

today's the first day of our "break" we've been dating for about 7-8 months and we just have a lot of trust & communication problems but we still really like each other. came into this thread to read more about breaks.. you guys were a lot of help. thanks!