[bbfacee]

this is really long ^^ my apologies.

so here's my situation:
so i liked this guy and i found out that he liked me too, we started to have a .. "thing" but then as our relationship grew abit stronger, we started to have alot of problems between us. he'd always assume sh*t and we would always fight. so, i told my friend to help me and so i introduced them two. she would ask him stuff about me; like how much he liked me etc etc. and i totally trusted her with him. so, i guess as me and the guy's relationship started to fade. my friend started talking to the guy behind my back.. ALOT. i mean yeee, i expected them to talk like "hi, whats upp?" that sortaa thing but not like REALLY talk. and then i found out that, my friend started liking this guy ALOT. and she never told me, i mean i DID still like him even after me and him were kind of over, and i always told my friend how much i miss him that sorta thing. and she kneww that i stil lliked him. so, my friend and the guy started to develop a "close relationship", and i found out that the guy liked her back. i mean of COURSE i was pissed off because she was my bestfriend, and i LEAST expected her to do this kind of stuff to me. i didnt want to be selfish, so i let them be. i mean of course i would get jealous.. because that GIRL use to be me. and everyday it really did hurt seeing them together. so.. when they started to have problems, me and that guy started to talk again. he THEN told me that my friend said so much sh*t about me behind my back, like

1. that i was using him to get close to another guy
2. that i liked some one else while dating him
3. & when i got hurt this one time, iw anted sympathy from him so that i could make him like me again.

ALL THOSE ABOVE ARE COMPLETELY 100% FALSE.. and she said all of this while she pretended to be my bestfriend .. =//

so i confronted her and she said that "she was just trying to show the guy what a pinkberry i am" .. like.. thanks.. "bestfriend"
and that she obviously tried to make me seem like a pinkberry so that the guy would STOP liking me and start liking HER. i was extremely mad at her & hurt. the funny thing is that this isn't the first time she's lost a friend/fought with somebody over a guy.. because she does SO many shady + low things to get a guy that she wants. & that definitely includes betraying your friend, backstabbing, talking sh*t etc etc to get the guy.

so they broke up.. and well me and the guy kindd of got back together .. like he told me he has liked me always and never stopped. so the "friend" got everyone against me, and everybody started to hate me ebcause they thought that i broke them up and stole him away from her. PLUS, they only heard HER story which was basically "blah blah blah i thought she stopped liking him so i went for him."

BUT after all this she DID apologize for everything, & she said she was genuinely sorry for everything she did + said. im just wondering, should i forgive her for what she's done? what would YOU do in this situation? and do you mind your bestfriend dating your ex? because i honestly felt so lonely + hated.. and it still hurts to think about it.

p.s i also found out that she told all my friends how i talk shizz about her, and im 'obsessed' with the guy, and that i stole the guy away from her to get them against me.

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

NO. Forgiving her makes it seem like what she did is ok to you. Do you REALLY want to be a pushover and let her walk all over you like that?
I absolutely despise girls like this, because they are only a step below being labeled a skank.
If my best friend did this to me, I can tell you automatically that it is over between us. I know it's "chicks before dicks" but what she did was just a low blow. What kind of best friend talks smack about you behind your back AND does not hesitate to take the guy you like away from you?

Cut off all contact with her, get on with your life because you don't need people like that, and karma will come back to eff her up.

[caramelon]

It's not okay. I absolutely would stop talking to her. She sounds like bad news. :/

[ajjang]

knowing me, i probably would forgive her but not talk to her again. it's no use staying mad and bitter, but you don't have to be friends with her either.

but seriously, why on earth would you get back together with this guy after he dated your best friend?

[bbfacee]

truee. well i didnt necassarily get back with him; like we were never official.
i guess i really liked himm.. wow now that i think of it that was really stupid of me.

[MNLV27]

Just forgive her but just don't be friends with her anymore. If this happened already what makes you think she won't do it again in the future?

But honestly, what were you thinking on her helping you by introducing her to him in the first place? Why bring a third person into a relationship between TWO people? That's just trouble in the making. It's you're fault in the beginning anyways, so might as well forgive her. Also, if he liked you since forever then why would he and you break up and he went out with her? That's just plain stupidity, I think he just got tired of you and then went out with her and then got tired of her, so he wants to go to you so since you still like him. You should just forget him as well, I'm sure he believed the nonsense that she told him about you so that's why he went to her.

Also, it seems like you guys are young and don't know how to communicate in a relationship. Only younger kids bring in their friends to be their messenger. Just like how middle schoolers would have their friend tell the person that they like them or how they would have their friends go and tell him/her that they want to break up..lol.. Anyways, good luck..

[grainsofrain]

First off, I wouldn't get back with the guy.

And to answer your question.. no, I would not be friends with her again.
Forgiveness is open to your own discretion.. or a gradual forgiveness, but I would not be friends with her ever again.

[bbfacee]

adore_linda

i agree with you in the first partt. & what you just said is completely right.
i was being absolutely stupid.. i think it was just cause i trusted her tooo much?
and yeah i should forget him, because he did believe all that and went for her.

& it was cause he was a year older, and we would never see each other.

[Kanzen]

What are the pro's in this situation? I honestly don't see any. She can't be trusted, she's a liar, she trashed your relationship and reputation, she turned your friends (who aren't very good friends either, apparently) against you.

I would forgive her since she sincerely aplogized, but let her know that she messed up too much and that she's out.

[demllequ]

I think you should just move on before falling into a more complicated disagreement again

[Frozy]

Hell to the no.

If she had to turn everyone against you just to be selfish. Hell to the no. What kind of person does she think you are? If she apoligizes like hell. and everything is fixed, then yes forgive you. You deserve to be treated nicely. I'd move the heck on with my life and screw her.

[hannieoon]

No! Don't forgive her at all. She needs to learn her lesson. She backstabbed you in the first place. Not only that, she got YOUR friends against you. If you forgive her she's not going to learn what she did was bad. She'll just think she has the upperhand/control over you because after she was a pinkberry to you you still forgave her. You don't need people like that in your life. They're full of drama and you seem like a chill, easy going type of girl. What she did to you should be enough for you NOT to forgive her.

[itrayya]

omg!

i dont know why you're mad at your friend only
when that guy sure is just floating back to you.
*waves fist at men* lol
what makes you think that guy wont go to another of your friend/girl?

and no, that 'friend' of yours is an un-needed human in your life.
she's shady with a S. dont need to do anything with her anymore.

do or not do.

[miss_kimmie67]

well if it was me i would try to forgive her
but hell yea its going to take me forever to forgive her...
but than i can never ever forget what she has done..
i mean that was just totally
BACKSTABBING and BETRAYAL.....

[infinite*]

Uh. No way. So what if she apologised? I doubt she really meant it.
If the guy 'never stopped' liking you, then why in the world did he start liking her without talking to you or asking you first about the crap your so called best friend said about you?

The tittle reminds me of what Lauren from the hills said to Hiedi.
"I want to forgive you AND I want to forget you"

[smpilova]

in your case, this is what i'll do.

forgive her, IN YOU HEART okay? (that's the mature thing to do)

but dont ever say to her that she's forgiven or that its' all okay now.
because she'll just think that what she's done was "OKAY" and she'll do that to you again or to any other. which is a BAD thing.

and def. i'll stop talking to her, and avoid her as much as i can, i mean there is no reason for me letting a girl like that be in life. no reason at all. unless you would want to get hurt/sad/mad etc. which i highly DOUBT.

[ddalgi]

i would not be happy with my best friend or any of my friends dating my ex.
its just a no no
there are plenty of fish in the sea, why do they need to catch that particular one?

whether you can forgive her or not depends on time, you, and how easily you can get over things.
me? i cant. its just too hard when its something so big.
dont be friends with her.
if shes done this with other friends repeatedly, shes not gonna stop anytime soon
you were/are her best friend so you know a lot about her and how bad she is
what she did is unacceptable
also, dont forgive the guy.
like the other soompiers said, it seems like hes just floating back to you
he still liked you while he was with your friend? my happy poopoo
why the hell did he go to her then?
if hes going to sway so easily, hes not worth your time.
he was dating you but he listened to your friends lies and didnt give it time to see whether they were true or not

[bbfacee]

thank you guys for all your posts ^^
and i agree with most of the posts.. how he's just floating back to me. i mean, right now i rarely ever talk to him
and i don't even like him anymore.. and like a week after he broke up with my friend he said he was in love with
me. which is bs.. i can't believe i was stupid enough to believe all this.. & i'm definitely going to try my hardest
to forgive her.. i mean i'm not gonna lie i do miss her sometimes because we had some great memories,
but i guess that was when i haven't seen that .. side of her yet. it's gonna be really REALLY hard to forgive her
because i've never seen someone so.. low? it's gonna take a longg time. & plus, im planning to completely
cut off the guy frmo my lifee =)

[brownman90561495]

i'd forgive the girl, but certainly there'd be trust issues after that. well i don't really get it why you had to introduce the guy to her, if all along you knew she had some bad history on guys.

well, i'd say it was good that the guy told you what you female friend had been telling him about you behind your back. but beware, the guy was very capable of turning his back from you, and she did the same to your friend. he may still be very capable of doing the same to you the second time around. if you really like him and want yuor relationship to go on, be aware that you are on risk here.

[whoops]

...well, it just happened to me, last summer as i was starting to fix my relationship with this so called guy, i just happened to accidentally know that my so called friend is flirting around the guy. and it just pissed me off, at first i don't think anything about it because i don't want to doubt my friend about her and the guy doing something silly because i trusted my friend.

i confronted her through text and personally, and i thought confronting her would ease my feelings and my dirty thoughts about them would vanish. but it suddenly became my pain. she hurt me so much hearing those things.

i distant myself to her and became angry on what she had done. i didn't want to talk to her anymore because she had caused so much pain to me, i suffer and it hurts me so much that the friend i was once called would betrayed me, knowing the she knows what happen between me and the guy.

i think i could forgive her, but it will never be the same before, i cannot talk to her anymore and that my trust to her had fade away. i can go casual talking to her but the way we are before, being close and all it would never happen again.

and about the guy, i have communication to him up to now, but i don't know if it could be like it was before. i'm feeling akward being with him because of the hurt that he had given me.